hustle | Page 9 of 18

Here’s What Happens When You’re Looking For a Job Online

Job hunting is stressful as hell, but we have no choice because capitali sm stays winning. Since online jobs are in vogue, and you probably want to get one soon, just brace yourself because these things will surely happen to you.

When you realise you actually need money to survive

“Who created this system?” “What is life?” “Why are we here?”

And you know it means you have to find a job

“The pressure is getting wesser”

This is you on LinkedIn every single day

Baba drop something for the boys now. Anything at all.

You start looking for job openings like your life depends on it…

Because it actually does.

RELATED: All The Many Questions That Come To Mind When Starting A New Job

…until you read their requirements

You’ll curse under your breath at 5+ years of experience while the job description is giving slavery.

When they ask you for a cover letter

It’s like these ones are not serious o..

When you finally get an interview

But they ghost you afterwards

Then you start wondering what you did wrong.

The constant breakfast is getting too much

But you continue with the cycle because man’s gotta eat.

NEXT READ: All The Things That happen When You Start A New Job

Sheriff Alimi

September 5, 2022

Money

hustle, online jobs
7 Unconventional Foods to Fight Back Sapa

Escaping sapa is the Nigerian dream, and while we keep moving on our journeys to freedom, you have to keep fighting back.

Food is the most important weapon you need in your arsenal, and Zikoko is here with the right cookbook for you.

Diced Mangoes

How would you dice a mango? Well, that’s left for you to figure out. But this food is a smash hit for the times when Sapa shows its true colors.

Fufu and Egg

How do you get more than enough carbs and protein while on a budget? Here’s your answer: you don’t even need three square meals after eating this. Think of it as an abridged version of a balanced diet.

Beans and Amala

This is based on consensus, and it works as a less simplistic version of fufu and egg. It’s basically fufu and egg with more happiness added.

Garri and Crayfish

Crayfish is that unsung universal food hero that tastes good with everything. You can use crayfish for Jollof rice, stew, yam, and many more foods. So why not with garri too?

ALSO READ: Interview With Crayfish: “Igbo People Need to Release Me”

Fruits of the Spirit

Sometimes, all you need is to go to church and listen to the word of God, because he who is filled with the spirit will not want things of the flesh.

Tomato paste Jollof rice

As the name implies, this is basically jollof rice made mainly from tomato paste and a few spices. You may argue that it’s not jollof rice but that’s really your business. Try it out and see if it doesn’t come out looking like Jollof.

Bread and Noodles

We would have suggested spaghetti and bread, but we’re trying to fight sapa here, so let’s stay focused. Bread and noodles are basically two of the cheapest foods that Nigerians absolutely love. Also, what does bread not go well with in this life?

Enjoyed this listicle, read what to add to your diet if you’re tired of eating the same meals every day.

Sheriff Alimi

July 14, 2022

Inside Life

Food, hustle, Nigerians, Sapa
If Nollywood Celebrities Had Side Hustles, What Would They Be Doing?

If you’ve ever (or never) wondered what Sola Sobowale does when she’s not being Eniola Salami, or what Ramsey Nouah is up to when he’s not doing lover boy, then we wrote this article for you.

Sola Sobowale would own a buka

I can vividly imagine Sola Sobowale running a buka that’s successful because everyone talks about it and not necessarily because the food is great. She and her staff of young women and that one male manager who collects money will be rude to customers. They just have to be. It’s part of the business. And their food portions? Even Buhari knows the economy isn’t THAT bad.

Zack Orji’s spare parts business would bloom

See, I’m not even being tribalistic — everyone I’ve ever bought spare parts from reminds me of Zack Orji. And it’s not about being Igbo, no. It’s just the confidence, the ability to look me in the eyes and convince me this new O2 sensor will serve me for the next seven years. If Zack Orji points to my face and tells me to bring out all my money to buy something he’s selling, I’m doing it. No questions.

Osita Iheme would give Nigerian rappers a run for their money

https://youtu.be/TrydIy_dJuI?t=37

Have you heard this man’s flow? Are you joking? He’s not even just a rapper, he can dance too! When Blaqbonez wakes up today, he should just thank God Osita Iheme chose to be Pawpaw and not O Da Wickedest.

RMD would make your sugar daddy look like a joke

If you think being a sugar daddy isn’t a job on its own, you’re truly mistaken. These things require skill and dedication, and there’s no better man for the job than this legend. In fact, if you imagine him being your babe’s sugar daddy and you feel terrible about it, then you have a problem.

ALSO READ: 14 Nigerian Celebrities We’re Sure You Had Your First Childhood Crush On

Patience Ozokwor would be your disappointing tailor

Somewhere in an alternate universe, a bride is in tears because it’s her wedding day and Patience’s Plush Luxury has used her wedding gown material to sew something else for another person. Another person is calling her out on Instagram for doing “what I ordered vs what I got”. But Patience doesn’t send anybody’s daddy. Her motto is: “You can insult my work, but don’t insult me. In fact you can’t even insult me.”

Funke Akindele would find a job with NURTW

We don’t know the job role or title o, but Funke would thrive in NURTW. Whether it’s as a chairman, collecting money she didn’t work for, or as a foot soldier stopping busses to collect levies, she’d kill it.

Genevieve would do makeup tutorials on YouTube

Close your eyes. Now imagine Genevieve in front of your screen saying, “Hey guysssss! Welcome back to my YouTube channelllllll!” The way it fits perfectly, I can almost swear I’ve seen her do that before.

Ramsey Nouah’s upscale nkwobi joint would slap

You know those joints where rich people come to network and discuss how to steal some more money? Ramsey Nouah would own one of them. Because he’s rich himself, he’ll create the spot as a haven for people like him to meet. At the end of the night, he’ll say the food and drinks are on the house, not out of generosity, but because he just secured yet another multimillion-dollar project from one of the customers.

ALSO READ: If Nigerian Musicians Had Side Hustles, What Would They Do?

David Odunlami

June 23, 2022

Pop

hustle, Nollywood
We Curated These Sites to Help You Make Money Online

As a young Nigerian well aware of the current state of the economy, you’ve probably toyed with the idea of exploring alternative options to earn more money.

The rise of internet-based business opportunities has transformed the traditional approach to work, allowing users to connect with service providers globally. However, the young Nigerian looking to make money online has to consider certain factors: What are the trusted online sites accessible from Nigeria? What are the opportunities for securing payment in foreign currencies with a Nigerian bank account?

Let’s explore some of the trusted money-making sites worth considering:

1. Upwork

Upwork is a favourite among individuals who seek out freelance opportunities. The website allows freelance writers, designers, translators, editors, and consultants (almost every category, really) to bid for jobs and land paying clients.

How to make money on Upwork

To get started as a freelancer, you would need to complete your profile and upon approval, the site goes ahead to highlight the ideal jobs for your skillset. What follows involves bidding for jobs (which have been posted by clients who require a service), interviewing, and eventual hiring.

All processes, including hiring, contract tracking, and payments are handled through the site, ensuring that freelancers are certain of due payment. Upwork currently charges between 5%- 20% service fee per successful contract.

How do you get paid?

Transactions on Upwork are typically done in US Dollars. Facilitating payment to your Nigerian bank account is relatively easy; users just need to input their bank details and required sort codes and receive the naira equivalent of the dollar payment via wire transfer.

Is Upwork legit?

Yes. The site was launched in 2015 after two major freelancing sites, oDesk and Elance, teamed up to rebrand. Upwork is currently one of the world’s largest freelancing platforms with over 18 million users.

Pros and Cons

Pros: Freelancers rarely have to bother about ensuring clients pay for service rendered as the site ensures that funds are confirmed in escrow before the job is done. It’s also fairly easy to get jobs on the platform and make money.

Con: The commission fees on every contract are a common complaint. At the end of the day, Upwork is still a business.

2. Skillshare

Skillshare offers creators the opportunity to teach an online class and get paid for it. Classes can range from subjects like film or fashion, UI/UX Design to entrepreneurship and photography. Teachers can then promote their classes and participate in related Skillshare forums.

How to make money on Skillshare

Teaching degrees are not required and when people take your class, you get paid a percentage. It also costs nothing to publish a class on Skillshare.

How do you get paid?

Payment is done via monthly royalties based on the number of minutes (usually between $0.05 to $0.10 per minute) watched in your classes plus a referral bonus for every student you refer to Skillshare. For users in Nigeria, payment is made via wire transfer, and funds are usually received after a day (or as determined by the bank).

Is Skillshare legit?

While there have been certain issues with usability for certain customers, teachers generally find the site easy to use. Skillshare is one of the largest websites in the e-learning space with over 27,000 classes.

Pros and Cons

Pros: There are no degrees required; anyone with the required knowledge can publish classes for free. It is also a good source of side income.

Con: It might be difficult to earn a lot of money as a beginner.

3. Fiverr

Fiverr is another website that connects freelancers with clients willing to pay for a service, commonly referred to as “gigs”. As the name suggests, gig pricing starts at $5.

How to make money on Fiverr

Upon profile completion, freelancers then list out the services (and pricing) offered. Services can range from writing, designing logos, creating online content, providing voice-overs, and many more. Fiverr gigs are typically quick and the freelancer (or seller) needs to include well-written descriptions that communicate the expected value.

How do you get paid?

Nigerians can withdraw their earnings from the platform using Payoneer; a payment platform that is open to use in Nigeria.

Is Fiverr legit?

Yes. Fiverr is a legitimate freelancing platform.

Pros and Cons

Pros: It is relatively easy to use and with the right skills, freelancers can quickly make money from the site.

Con: Due to the popularity of $5 gigs, many clients expect low rates, and competition can be stiff.

4. Jumia

Jumia is easily the most popular online marketplace in Nigeria and even if you’re not interested in selling directly on Jumia, you can still make money on the site.

How to make money on Jumia

Jumia offers affiliate partnership (also referred to as the Key Opinion Leaders program). This means that you can promote the products on Jumia and can get up to 11% commission on every successful order made using your affiliate link. This option works best if you have a social media presence or blog community; all you need to do is sign up for the affiliate program, find the products your community needs and encourage purchase.

How do you get paid?

Partners can track their earnings and commissions are usually paid at the end of the month, using a pre-selected mode of payment such as a bank transfer.

Is Jumia legit?

Yes. Jumia is a legitimate online marketplace, and this should build trust in your prospective customers.

Pros and Cons

Pros: Jumia has a trusted presence in Nigeria and with the affiliate program, partners do not need to buy any product and registration is completely free.

Cons: Payment is dependent on the frequency of successful orders and prospective partners will need to have considerable influence to make the most of the affiliate program.

5. Guru

Guru is another freelancing site that offers users the opportunity to turn their skills and expertise into lucrative businesses. Membership is free and the site caters to freelancers with a wide range of skills like finance, photography, web design, business consulting, etc.

How to make money on Guru

Similar to most freelancing sites, you can create a profile outlining your key skills and capabilities for free. After completing your profile, you can browse jobs online and can bid on jobs that you like. You can also set up notifications for new job postings.

Guru allows users to set a fixed price for jobs and ensures freelancers’ earnings are protected using Safepay protection.

How do you get paid?

Nigerian users can process payment using wire transfer to a Nigerian bank account or via Payoneer.

Is Guru legit?

Yes. While Guru might not be as well known as other similar websites, it is a trusted freelance site with millions of users.

Pros and Cons

Pros: The site offers free membership, secure payment and job listings customised to the user’s skills.

Con: There is the possibility of potential fake clients and users are advised to take caution.

Note: While these are all trusted sites for money-making online, prospective users are advised to do due diligence when interacting with clients and other users.

NEXT READ: How Do These Nigerians Navigate Money in Relationships?

Tife Oni

June 21, 2022

Money

Freelance, hustle, Nigerians, online jobs
A Rollercoaster Week in the Life of a Medical Waste Manager

A Week in the Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” packs medical waste for a living. Medical waste includes blood products, placentas, used needles and syringes and other waste products used in medical facilities. He talks about struggling with motivation to work, the dangers of packing medical waste and being treated poorly by his employer.

[newsletter]

TUESDAY:

I’m not in the mood to resume work today. Although I didn’t work yesterday, I still don’t feel rested. One minute I had the whole of Monday to myself, the next, it was 5 p.m.

Everyone knows that the evening of your off day signifies the end of enjoyment. A little sleep, a little slumber and you’re back to work the next day.

Unfortunately, the next day has become today, and I’m not happy about it.

A typical workday lasts nine hours, plus an extra hour for the journey to and from my house. I work for three or four days from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. With this schedule, I can still find time to do other side hustle and jama jama to make money. But it’s not always that straightforward.

There’s the occasional weekend work, which can be tiring. Then there’s dealing with the hazards of the job like needle pricks and falling sick.

There’s also having to interact with difficult and demanding hospital staff, which makes everything blurry.

Suddenly, the job goes from “simple” cleaning of hospitals and collection of medical waste to managing people.

A perfect example of how this job goes from zero to a hundred: last week, my junior colleague and I went to one private hospital to pack waste. We were supposed to be done in 15 mins, but we were still there after 45 mins, so my colleague shouted at them to hurry up. The next thing, they threatened to report us to our supervisor. And because the customer is always right, I had to step in to appease and negotiate a middle ground. Although we were in the right, we still had to be diplomatic.

Our first stop for today is that same facility. I had better start preparing for work so that we don’t run into any issues with them today.

God knows that I’m not in the mood to play nice.

WEDNESDAY:

When I started work today, I wasn’t expecting to get pricked by a used needle. At one of our regular stops, the hospital staff didn’t tell me that they had packed used needles alongside other medical waste. And because one aspect of the job involves weighing the waste to determine the cost, I picked up the nylon without thinking.

The next thing I felt was a sudden sharp sensation in my hand. At first, I was quiet, the next minute, I started screaming at the staff, asking if they were trying to kill me.

The worst part is that when my oga heard what happened, he just told me pele and asked me to treat myself and be well before tomorrow.

I know the protocol for handling such cases is O.Y.O — on your own — but his reply made me feel terrible. He couldn’t even offer small support towards my treatment.

I bought a “flusher” [Editor’s note: this is a cocktail of drugs believed to “clean” the system] from the local chemist, but when the hand started swelling, I went to see a nurse near my house. Although she gave me pain relief drugs and Ampiclox Beecham, I still bought agbo to add to the power.

When the pain became unbearable, I started thinking about my life. In my 10 years of working this job, I’ve not gotten many benefits. I’ve had to pay out of pocket for everything; from Izal to clean our truck to hand gloves for handling waste, to the soap we use for bathing after a day’s job.

I’ve always swallowed my complaints because I have a family to look after. When my boss told me I had to cover three local governments, I didn’t complain. When they told me they were increasing the facilities I cover from about 100 to 138, I didn’t complain. After they added another role to my job without pay, I still didn’t complain.

I guess that saying is true: it’s how you lay your bed that you lie on it. I blame myself for not talking out before now.

THURSDAY:

I resumed work today with my swollen hand. The only thing I heard after protesting not to work was, “You know we can’t leave the hospitals dirty. Your work is essential to keeping the hospitals clean.”

In my mind, I just kept asking, “If I’m so essential, why don’t our bosses rate us?” Outwardly, I just smiled and changed into my work clothes.

Today’s run was a bit different. Because of my hand, I was in the passenger’s seat instead of the driver’s, so I had time to observe.

At our first stop, I noticed the staff were frowning when they saw our vehicle. In my head, I thought facility staff were always happy to see us because we made their lives easier.

In our next stop, which was a general hospital, I observed that we spent a lot of time waiting for someone to attend to us. And after they did, we still ended up fighting with them for not properly disposing of their waste.

At our third stop, I noticed my colleague was about to eat without washing his hands. He must have forgotten he was handling the waste today and not in the passenger’s seat as usual. I quickly reminded him to wash his hand before he’d kill himself.

Our last stop was in Ikorodu, where we dumped all the waste we had packed for the day. As I watched the people in the facility burn the waste, a part of me hoped they could extend the same treatment to our wicked leaders and employers.
On my way home, as my hand kept burning. I found myself considering getting another job. However, a voice in my head kept on asking me: where will you see it?

Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form .

Hassan Yahaya

February 1, 2022

Hustle

hazard, hustle, lawma, medical waste
6 Nigerian Doctors Share the Best and Worst Parts of Their Jobs

Nigerian parents and “Go to school to study medicine” are like five and six. But what’s the reality of life as a doctor? We already know they spend like ten years in school, but these six doctors tell us more about their love-hate relationship with their jobs.

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1. Temi

I’d describe it as a perfect oxymoron because it’s been a bitter-sweet experience for me. I have worked as a doctor for 11 years and I am currently training to become a Psychiatrist. I love being a doctor because of how noble it is as a profession. I love that my job exposes me to the frailty of mankind and diverse situations that need solutions. I also get to brag a bit, like, “Hellooo, I save lives for a living.”

On the other hand, my job is so tedious and demanding. I hate the sleepless nights when I have to be on call at the hospital for more than 24 hours. The hardest part is going through constant training — it’s a whole lifetime of reading and constante burnouts. If I had a chance to rewrite my story, I’m not quite sure I’d study medicine again — there’s no balance between the job and my personal life. Something always suffers.

2. Elizabeth

I didn’t choose to be a doctor. My father forced me into studying it at school, so I just got stuck with the career. I’ve grown to love the satisfaction of treating people, but I still dislike my job. The driving force to be in this field is the relief you see on a patient’s face after confirming their “diagnosis” from Google was wrong. It gets me everytime. I hate that the reading never stops. There’s always an exam to get through and it only gets worse at the top — I’ve given up on the hope that I’ll be done with it. The pay isn’t great [in Nigeria], so that’s a downside to the glory of saving lives. There are opportunities in the UK, but you spend half of the money taking exams to compete with your peers.

3. Mike

I’m currently doing my housemanship as a dentist. I love my job because there’s a form of artistry that comes with handling a person’s teeth. People think it’s an insignificant part of medicine, but there’s a lot of damage that can happen from a tiny toothache. As a dentist, being in Nigeria makes it tough. There’s money in it, but it takes years to really cash out. The hazard allowance for us is also really horrible. The government just reviewed it from 5k to 32k — what does that cover in comparison to the kind of diseases we are exposed to daily? The structures in the clinics make the job more exhausting — dentists have to do everything alone. Simple things like scaling and polishing that should take me ten minutes can take two hours because I don’t have an assistant. My patient has to keep getting up to spit out rather than having a suction in place — it’s annoying. I’ve been so impatient with my patients because of how exhausted I am.

4. Mildred

I decided to leave America and come to Nigeria for my housemanship after graduation from school. Regardless of where you practice, the feeling of fulfillment as a doctor is next to none. Paediatrics has been my favourite department so far — helping a woman give life is so beautiful. I don’t entirely regret coming back to Nigeria, but some days make me wonder why I didn’t just stay back. The insults from superiors or angry patients can make it horrible sometimes. Don’t even get me started on the long hours on call for horrible pay — government hospitals are the worst. I’ve had to spend holidays without my family, go hours without food, miss celebrations with friends, and why do doctors have to go on strike just to get paid for the work we do?

5. Roselyn

I’m currently working as a non-training doctor in the UK — Nigeria had too many obstacles keeping me from becoming a consultant, so I had to japa.

As a doctor, I love driving home knowing I saved a family’s loved one from dying. Knowing that there’s someone who has an extra day to live makes me feel good, so losing a patient is tough for me. There are days I cried from losing a patient right before a surgery. As an empath, the down-side for me is the unconscious attachment that happens when I’m on a journey with a patient. Sometimes I find myself paying for tests or medical procedures because my patients can’t afford to. So finding the balance between being compassionate and professional was difficult for me in the first few years of practicing.

6. Nick

I am a General Practitioner (GP) in training. I knew working as a hospital doctor would not give me the desired time to pursue other personal interests outside of medicine. As a GP, I love caring for patients through their recovery. I enjoy seeing them move from painful stitches to living full and healthy lives. Then there are patients who are self-proclaimed doctors and try to do my job — sometimes I just want to yank them out of my office, but I’m there to save them from themselves.

Ortega

January 27, 2022

Hustle

hustle, money, Nigerian doctors
6 Recruiters Share Their Worst Experiences at Job Interviews

We’re all chasing the bag this year, but what are the things you need to avoid at an interview to land that dream job and level up your earnings? Six job recruiters shared some of their worst interview experiences so people can wise up.

1. Don’t be sexist

Sandra, 32

This literally happened to me last week. We wanted to hire a junior marketer at the company and offered ₦350k plus a 5% commission on each sale for the role. A lot of people applied but I had my eyes on a female candidate that had a wide experience in marketing on a national level. The interview was going well until she asked about who she’d be reporting to. I mentioned the supervisor’s name and she gave a weird look after realising it was a lady. She said she couldn’t answer to a woman, so I asked her to pack her things and leave immediately.

2. Don’t be nonchalant with questions

Steven, 27

The lady was meant to join the team as a social media manager — the interview was a matter of formality because the team was already excited to snatch her up at first. Like any other interview, we still had to ask her questions to make sure it wasn’t another candidate buffing up their CV to get into the company. The interview was virtual so we couldn’t even tell much from her body language during the session, but her tone just seemed a bit forced — like there was someone holding a gun to her head. She sighed before each question and dragged her words as she responded, like, aunty did they force you to be here? I was so pissed off that day. Please don’t come online for an interview if you’re not going to give it a 100%. Thanks.

3. Never fail to research on the company

Chinedu, 31

We’d been trying to recruit a business development officer for our branch in Abuja and it wasn’t going well. All the candidates kept making outrageous salary demands and expected to go into the office just once or twice a week — Abuja people are so annoying. We had to switch to looking for a candidate in Lagos to relocate to Abuja instead. Someone came in the next day for the interview and his answers were just off point from the first two questions. I had already gone through 600 resumes and interviewed 107 people for the role in Abuja, so I was already just exhausted from hearing rubbish. I decided to ask one last question to make my decision: “What are some of our projects you find exciting?” He started talking about another organisation with the same name. That was my cue to pack my bags and go home for the day. I was angry. How can you be coming in for a business development role and not be clear on the projects the organisation runs? Please, do better.

4. Don’t complain about your former boss

Augusta, 43

A guy came in for a supervisory position for our food and beverage unit in the hotel. I expected it to be a really quick interview, but it turned into a therapy session. He went on and on about how his former boss cheated him and never paid his salary. He also talked about disliking his colleagues and the struggle searching for another job before getting this particular interview. Honestly, I had never been so confused at an interview. There was no indication of his relevance to the role or strengths he could bring to the company. Trust me, after the first five lines from a candidate you already know whether they’re even worth the stress, so this guy was definitely not making it through. The whole interview revolved around his former employer and that’s always the fastest way to lose any job.

5. Don’t cry, please

Sam, 24

Dear job applicants, please don’t cry at an interview. I was excited to interview a lady for a role as a HR personnel at the firm — she had a background in oil and gas. I asked her the first question and she didn’t get it. So I put her through the right answer and moved on to the next question. Next thing, she blanked out and started sobbing. I spent the last 20 minutes of that interview consoling her — I felt bad, but I wasn’t going to offer her the job after that.

6. Don’t overeat or go in hungry

Daniel, 35

I’m just grateful for virtual interviews now. Before then, I always had to deal with candidates who either fainted from hunger and needed medical attention or spent half the time shitting in our toilets because of overfeeding.

Ortega

January 20, 2022

Hustle

hustle, job recruitment in Nigeria, work
The Business Man Flirting With the Idea of a 9-5 — A Week in the Life

A Week in the Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a businessman who sells electronic gadgets for a living. He talks about his unconventional approach to business, being dealt with by the exchange rate and why he’s considering getting a 9-5.

MONDAY:

Today was a rough day. I woke up late, got delayed in Lagos traffic and had to pursue dispatch riders up and down. On top of that, I also had to figure out where to buy dollars at an affordable rate so I could restock my goods.

Between clueless bank officials, CBN’s ever-changing policies and dispatch riders, I had my hands full in fire fighting mode.

Frustrated by the bank, I spent a huge part of the day on the internet looking for someone who wanted to send naira home. Then I also spent some time recalculating the cost of my goods and giving room for price fluctuations.

In the middle of this, I kept on getting calls from customers asking for their goods, and dispatch riders complaining about one problem or the other.

When I could no longer bear the information overload, I put my phone on silent, paused all notifications, and went to cool my head.

I just told myself that tomorrow is another day to try again.

TUESDAY:

I run my gadget business unconventionally. I don’t own a physical store, nor have social media presence or even hold on to stock for long. I work mostly based on word of mouth referrals. I take custom orders to help people buy phones on eBay, Amazon or from trusted dealers. And when I buy stuff for myself, I sell everything off at computer village. I don’t keep any stock.

I don’t know why I’m like this. Maybe it’s because I’m not crazy about the idea of owning a store, or perhaps it’s because I dislike the processes that come with keeping stock.

My method is less stressful because I can fulfill orders on my phone. I also have a car to drive around for pickups and occasional deliveries.

I’ve been running this business like this for over 10 years, so I guess I’m doing something right. In recent times, though, the business hasn’t been as good as it used to be. I’ve gone from making 10-20% on a phone sale to making 5-8%. This means that if I used to make ₦25,000 on one sale, I now make around ₦8,000.

I blame two things: high exchange rates and losing my customer base to japa. While I don’t have the answer to stopping my customers from running away, I’d rather not dwell on the dollar matter. I don’t want to sound like a broken record.

Today, I’m going to personally deliver all the goods the dispatch riders failed to deliver yesterday. The thought of the traffic I’m going to face is discouraging me from leaving the comfort of my bed.

WEDNESDAY:

Well, I guess that there’s something in the air this week. First, I woke up to an email from Amazon saying that they had blocked my account and frozen my money. According to them, I had too many “suspicious” card activities. They didn’t even give me a chance to explain that because I’m always sourcing for affordable dollar rates, I have to use different cards from my family and friends abroad.

This afternoon, my agent called to say that my goods were experiencing delays at the port. A few minutes later, customers who had paid upfront started calling me to ask for their property. There I was, caught between not wanting to lie and not wanting to give excuses.

Well, since you asked, my day went perfectly well. How was yours?

THURSDAY:

I’m up early today, not for work but to think. In recent times, business has been slow. What was once a sweet business with highs and lows now has a lot more lows. And the hoops to jump through keep on increasing.

Now, I’m considering getting a job that serves as a safety net.

But what are the prospects out there for someone who hasn’t worked in a formal job for more than 8 months in 10 years?

I’m definitely not doing anything that requires me to submit a CV or write one foolish essay or test. . Tech sounds nice but I don’t want to code. Maybe I’ll do hardware…

Truthfully, my ideal job is one where I’m helping people solve their gadget problems. Just text me that your laptop has a problem or you’re unsure of what laptop to buy and watch me light up. Not sure what phone to get? I’m your guy. You want someone to give IT support? Na me.

I’m honestly a bit confused and my head hurts from all the thinking I’ve had to do this week.

Wo, I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m grateful for the life I currently have.

Regardless of how my job search turns out, I know I have no regrets about running a business.

Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

Hassan Yahaya

January 18, 2022

Hustle

businessman, computer village, dollars, gadgets, hustle
“I’m a Minister of Enjoyment” — A Week in the Life of a Pastor

A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” lives two lives. She’s a trader during the day and a pastor in between/when she’s not trading. For today’s “A Week In The Life”, she talks about her decision not to be a full-time pastor, balancing a 9-5 alongside her divine calling, and the many ways she enjoys herself as a human being.

MONDAY:

No matter what time I sleep, my body automatically wakes up at 7 a.m. The first thing I do after waking up is to prepare a light breakfast of tea and yellow crackers biscuit.

Breakfast ends at around 7:15 a.m. and I spend some time replying to WhatsApp messages from the night before. At around 7:30 a.m., I’m back in my bed preparing for round two of sleep.

Because I live two lives, both as a pastor and a trader, my day starts and ends at interesting times. On most days, I’m up till 3 a.m. praying and so I don’t leave for my shop until around 11 a.m. Luckily for me, the business I’m into — buying and selling of children’s bags, water bottles etc — doesn’t pick up until around noon so I’m good. If I was a full-time pastor my schedule would have been way more flexible. Sadly, I love my independence and I’d rather not be at the mercy of my congregation for money for food, clothing or school fees.

That’s why at 7:45 a.m. I turn off my data, put my phone on “do not disturb” and start my second round of sleep. When I wake up from round two of sleep, then my day will fully begin.

TUESDAY:

I’m feeling nostalgic today and reminiscing about the past. It’s funny that there was a time when I wasn’t ready to serve God. At the time I received my first divine calling, I was running a fairly successful frozen food business in the heart of Lagos, and so the idea of leaving enjoyment for God seemed impossible to me.

God “called” me almost nine times, through people and directly, and I just let that phone ring and ring. At the time, I was certain that I was built for enjoyment alone.

However, calamity struck my perfect life. The abridged version is that the person who gave me capital to set up and run my business collected everything I had built and left me out to dry.

And so, like the prodigal son, I ended up returning to my father’s house. Ever welcoming, I was received with open hands where I enrolled into various schools under the church.

Since that experience, I learnt to put God first in all my dealings. I didn’t complain when I had to stop wearing trousers and weave on. I also accepted to live by the doctrine of the church.

In fact, when I wanted to start my trading business, I put a list of 10 businesses I was interested in with the boutique business at the top of the list. But a spirit kept on telling me that the boutique business wasn’t for me. To be sure, I gave this list to a few pastors to pray for me and a large majority ended up picking my current business.

As a now loyal servant of God, I let his will be done in my life and followed suit. I can say without any doubt that following God has been the best decision I’ve made. I’m not wealthy but he always makes a way for me.

What more can I ask for?

WEDNESDAY:

I’ve had an interesting Wednesday. My day started as usual; I slept late, woke up to eat, went back to bed and opened the shop by 11 a.m.

However, today was the first day this month where I made over ₦50,000 revenue in one sale. And to think that minutes before the customer walked in I was flirting with the idea of going to the market because the day was slow. I was in the shop from 11 a.m. till 3 p.m. and not a single customer came in. Just as I was about to start packing, the man came to restock new bags, water bottles and socks for his kids. When he paid for the goods, I screamed internally.

Almost immediately after he left, I got another call from someone in my congregation asking me to send my account number. I told the person not to bother but they kept on insisting and blowing up my phone with calls. According to the man, I was the only pastor who prayed for him without collecting money. Instead, I even gave him transport fare after each prayer session.

Reluctantly, I sent my account number to prevent him from blowing up my phone. When I saw the alert, I screamed out and shouted Jesus!

This person who was having challenges at one point sent me ₦150,000 as appreciation. I still couldn’t believe it even when I called to thank him later in the day.

Although the day is ending now, I’m still excited about how much of a good day I’ve had. I hope the rest of my week is also filled with unexpected good tidings.

THURSDAY:

I don’t go back to sleep when I wake up today. In fact, I wake up at 6 a.m., have a bath and leave my house by 6:30 a.m.

Today is different because I’m going to Idumota market to buy goods for my shop. It takes roughly two to four hours, without traffic, to make the journey from my house at Iyana Ipaja to Idumota.

With traffic, I might as well sleep on the road. Out of the many options available to me, I prefer entering a straight danfo from the park to my house. Although it’s more expensive, it’s the most convenient. The other options drop me way off from my intended destination and usually involve trekking. Me, I no dey for Israelite journey.

At the market today, I received a shock. The goods I last bought from the market at ₦1,800 and sold at ₦2,500 are now being sold for ₦2,500 in the market. This means that I didn’t make a profit from the last batch of goods I sold. I have no option but to still buy a new batch like that.

It seems that nowadays, it takes the grace of God for businesses in Nigeria to thrive. Although I feel a little pessimistic, I’m deciding to trust in God’s plan for me.

I’m tired and overspent both physically and financially, but I’m grateful when I finally buy the last item on my list. The next stop is home sweet home.

FRIDAY:

People always ask how I deal with the expectations that come with being a pastor. I tell them that as long as I honour God, respect the doctrine of my church and remain a good ambassador of the religion, I’m fine. These requirements don’t stop me in any way from being myself.

I’m not afraid of any man as long as I know that my behaviour is in line with God’s teaching.

Let me tell you something, I’m a minister of enjoyment. On days when I decide not to go to church or attend to customers or my congregation, I’ll run to Godly parties where I can enjoy myself.

Today is one of those days. For a few hours today, I’m closing my business and pastor life to attend a friend’s 50th birthday party. I’ve been looking forward to this party because my friend promised me that the DJ will play old school classics. Personally, I’m looking forward to screaming “Last night, I dreamt of San Pedro,” followed by “Hello, is it me you’re looking for.”

Whether it’s prayer, business or advising people, my guiding philosophy in life is that whatever I lay my hand on shall prosper, even if it’s enjoyment. Whatever I do, I must do it well and enjoy it.

Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

Hassan Yahaya

January 4, 2022

Hustle

hustle, Life, Pastor, Religion, trader
A Week In The Life: 10 Of The Most-Read Stories Of 2021

A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

2021 was a long year. I know it and you definitely know it. I wrote my first “A Week In The Life” story of 2021 on the 5th of January. It was about an interstate driver who had a girlfriend in almost every Nigerian state he visited. This awe-inspiring, mind-boggling, larger-than-life, yet commonplace story would set the tone for some of the episodes in the series.

As the year comes to a close, and with over 36 stories under the “A Week In The Life” flagship, I’ve picked 10 of the most-read stories from the series. These stories were picked based on the number of page views they had, the conversations they sparked and the general audience reaction to them.

Whether you started reading this series last year, this year, or even last week, here are some stories that our audience definitely enjoyed reading and sharing.

Dive in:

1) When I’m In Front Of A Camera, I Feel Like Wizkid Or Davido — A Week In The Life Of A Pornstar

Forget everything you know because this story will challenge it. After failing to get into Nollywood, Juliet, the subject of this story decided to go into acting porn. She talks about the stigma involved in her job, not being ashamed to show her face in her videos and how powerful she feels in front of a camera.

According to Juliet, “During video shoots, I tell my men that it’s acting we’re acting so they shouldn’t get carried away thinking it’s their girlfriend they’re fucking. I also make it clear that they must not cum in me — they can cum on my laps, face, tummy but not inside me.”

Read more here.

2) Manager By Day, Sugar Baby At Night: A Week In The Life

The subject of this story has gone from swearing not to sleep with married men to not refusing their advances.

The result? A lot of gifts and houses. Why did she suddenly change her mind and go down the sugar baby route?

Click here to read her origin story.

3) A Week In The Life Of An Unpaid Full-Time House Wife

What’s it like being an unpaid full housewife? It’s a lot of thankless hard work, unnecessary suffering and acceptance in the grand scheme of things.

The heaviness in this story still haunts me today. See why here.

4) My Life Ended When I started NYSC” — A Week In The Life Of A Tired Youth Corps Member

If you’ve done NYSC, this story will make you angry, sad, and confused. Why? Because the suffering is relatable and pointless. For this episode, a youth corps member without a place of primary assignment talks about the bleakness of her days, being frustrated by the NYSC scheme and the ways she sparks joy in her life.

Continue here.

5) Nigerians Call Strippers So Many Dirty Names — A Week In The Life Of A Stripper

The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is Debbie, a stripper. She tells us about how stripping changed her life, why she wants the Nigerian police to do better, and how she plans to fund her dreams of living an expensive life.

Read here.

6) I Feel Like I’m Juggling Two Identities — A Week In The Life Of A Dominatrix

Fair warning: This story has everything from drugs to sex to everything your Nigerian parents warned you about. However, if you want to get lost in a story, you should settle down and read this. Definitely worth your time.

Read more

7) I Almost Lost A Knee Cap — A Week In The Life Of A Drug Dealer

The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a drug dealer. He talks to us about his process for baking edibles, how he almost lost a knee cap, and his plans to set up a cartel if his japa plans fail.

Satisfy your curiosity here.

8) For 2 Years I Didn’t Win A Single Bet — A Week In The Life Of A Gambler

The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a writer and gambler. He talks about how earning in dollars makes gambling in Naira bearable, selling his properties to offset gambling bills and the adrenaline rush betting gives him.

Dive in.

9) A Week In The Life: The Interstate Driver With Girlfriends In Many States

“To be honest, I’m even changing. I’m not bad like that. If I count my girlfriends, I have only five consistent ones. I’ve removed the inconsistent ones from my list because no time. I’m also thankful that God take libido bless me to be able to keep everyone satisfied. It’s grace. I be pure Igbo guy, I strong die.“

This long-distance driver has gone from having a girlfriend in almost every state in the country to having “just” 5. Why does he do it? What’s his motivation? and is he not scared of the risks involved?

Click here to find out.

10) “Remember You Left Home To Feed Home” — A Week In The Life Of A Bus Driver

The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is Jimoh Adamu, a 27-year-old bus driver. Jimoh tells us about the inspiration behind the famous quotes on his bus, how the Lagos state Keke ban set him back, and his quest for a better life.

Finish up here.

Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

Hassan Yahaya

December 28, 2021

Hustle

a week in the life, best of 2021, drug dealer, hustle, Jobs, Most Read, Nigeria, pornstar, work