hopeless romantic

The streets have done nothing for you since you’ve been on it, so it might be time to embrace the life of a hopeless romantic so you can finally say that you’ve covered all the bases. Since it’s something you’re not used to, we’re here with a guide on just what you need to do to prepare for it.

Keep your sense in a jar

To be a true hopeless romantic, you have to stop using your sense. Turn it into a money-making scheme and rent your sense out to people who need it.

Embrace delusion

Hopeless romantics don’t deal with reality. You need to romanticise every area of your life. The way you eat bread? Important in helping you find love. The brand of tea you drink? Might be what leads you to your soulmate. Reject reality, and embrace delusion.

Consume romantic content

You need something to model your romantic self after. Receive inspiration from some of the OGs like Tony Umez or Emeka Ike or you can learn lessons from failed relationships. A great place to start is Zikoko’s Love Life, but you didn’t hear that from us.

Glasses to see shege

Being a hopeless romantic now that the streets are full of rubbish is hard. Your eyes will see proper shege, so better get glasses and clean them well.

A sleeve for your heart

You might have to take the whole wearing your heart on your sleeve thing literally.

Copy your favourite romantic comedy

We’re not just asking you to learn from these fictional relationships, but to also pattern your entire life after them. Try getting a house in the middle of nowhere, so one day, someone’s car will spoil close to your house. You offer them a place to stay, and gbam! Marriage.

Don’t do anything to actually pursue love

All the most successful hopeless romantics wait for love to find them. Don’t stress yourself with trying to look for it.