Happy Birthday | Zikoko!

Instead of swinging back and forth awkwardly while everyone sings “Happy birthday” to you at the top of their voices, here are a some better ways to spend that time.

Get started on your budget

The chances of you spending too much money on your birthday are high. There’s no better time to plan how you’ll survive on what’s left in your account until the next payday.

Pass an offering basket around

While everyone’s singing like badly selected choristers, they might as well drop a little token for you, so you can feel their love fully.

Break into dance

Try a little interpretive dance for them. This way, you’re giving as much as you’re getting, and everyone gets to behold your talent.

Plan your next birthday

If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. This birthday may be good, but the next can be better. Best to start planning now.

Mark who’s singing or not singing

It’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff. Look carefully at the people singing, those are your friends, the ones chewing mouth and just shining teeth? Bombastic side eye.

Pray

With the amount of money you spend on your birthday, you’ll need divine intervention to see you till the end of the month.

Sing along

Your friends and family don’t get to have all the fun. Join in and lend your angelic voice to the course.

Eat cake

They’ll look at you sideways, but everybody’s singing. It’s also your birthday cake. Who’s going to check you?

Apply sunscreen

It doesn’t matter if you’re outdoors or indoors, the skincare gurus have said the best way to care for your skin is by applying two fingers’ worth of sunscreen every two hours. As you work on protecting your skin, you can start thinking about where the money for your next skincare haul will come from.

Figure out how the Starks managed to win the Game of Thrones

How though? Daenerys had three dragons and at least five armies and the Lannisters had wit. How did they lose?

Think of ways to make money from corn/agbado

This is the year of the corn. Get in line, start thinking of all the way you can make money from a damn roasted corn.

Chioma Munachi

June 20, 2023

Inside Life

Happy Birthday
Hello People, today is a very beautiful day to talk about a Legend. I mean obviously.

It’s Mandela day.
Yes, Nelson Mandela was one of the greatest men in the world. Now, there was a fact most people thought they knew but didn’t really know.

This man saw into the future.
Madiba was the king of inspiration. And he said some things that not only made us think twice, but also showed that he could see into the future.

Pay attention to the next set of things you’re about to read.
When Mandela said “greed and power has turned brother against brother.” It seemed like he was just saying his own.

But just look at P-square now.
“When the water starts boiling it is foolish to turn off the heat.” Mandela please help us tell our Nigerian mothers.

If you mistakenly try to leave water boiling and waste their gas. Just start digging your grave because it’s over for you.
Have you noticed how Nigerian’s travel abroad for one week and come back with polished accent? Mandela saw that too.

“Human beings have got the ability to adjust to anything.” He said it, and Nigerians are on this high table he shook.
“I never lose. I either win or learn.” Nelson Mandela’s wisdom surpasses most but I wish he could take this statement back.

Because the Super Eagles have been learning for years now. Just learning and learning. Well done kings.
“In my country, we go to prison first and then become President.” Wow, I wish I could relate to this. But it’s different in my country.

You become president, then steal money, and still don’t go to prison. That’s how it goes here sir.
How can Nelson Mandela say “If you are poor, you are not likely to live long”. I don’t understand. What did I do to him?

It’s bad enough that i’m poor, now I have to worry about staying alive? If this is a joke can someone tell him it’s not funny?
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Are we sure Nelson Mandela didn’t contribute to Nollywood movie scripts?

Just imagine Kanayo O. Kanayo saying this.
That year Madiba said “Forget the past.” Nothing more. Did we listen? No.

We had to bring Buhari back, we just had to.
“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.” Let me break this down to you in English.

A liar should not lie about being a liar.
Nelson Madela really spoke to me when he said “A winner is a dreamer who never gives up.”

This technically means I have won in life.
We can say that apart from the historic significance Mandela has had on the world.

He has proven to be even more of a Legend with these little things. We love you Madiba

Eniola

July 18, 2018

Oldies

Happy Birthday, Madiba, Mandela, Quotes
It all started when Hon. Ayo Omidiran (who has been a member of the house of representatives since 2011) wished her daughter-in-law a happy birthday on Twitter in the sweetest way ever.

And it warmed our hearts and made us cry.
The sweetness of the birthday message made everyone wish to have a mother-in-law like her and she instantly became #MotherInLawGoals

Then one sharp girl came from nowhere and asked an interesting question.

Clearly trying to bag a good husband and an awesome mother-in-law at the same.
And then the coolest mother-in-law on the planet replied!

This caused all of Twitter to freak.
Others came to try their luck too.

No time to waste.
And again, the awesome Ayo Omidiran gave a response that blew minds everywhere.

She’s setting P in the DMs for her son(s)!COULD SHE BE ANYMORE AWESOME?!
Some guys even came to see if she had daughters who were looking to get married.

The Lord helps those who help themselves.
And she gave another lowkey epic response.

Her daughters are happily loved up. Back off y’all.
We don’t know about you guys but Hon. Ayo Omidiran just became our new favourite person.

If you enjoyed this sweet gist, read this next one about Dino Melaye (our favourite controversial politician), the book he just released and why it is freaking hilarious.

Dino Melaye Just Launched An ‘Anti-Corruption’ Book And We Are Just As Confused As You Are

Astor George

May 18, 2017

Gist

Daughter-in-law, Funny, Happy Birthday, Mother-in-law, Nigerian, Representatives, sweet, Tweet
Lamide Akintobi is not the only celebrant today. It’s also Polish Man turned Nigerian big boy, Marek Zmyslowski’s birthday, so it’s only right we gush about him too.

If you know Marek, you know he’s hot. We are completely obsessed with him. And if you don’t know him, here are 11 reasons you should strive to:

1. He looks like this.

In order to get that slick hair look: a) use gel or b) don’t wash your hair for 3 days. #vintage #bowtie #suit #glasses #mcmeka pic by @iamdmayo

A photo posted by Marek Chinedu Zmyslowski (@marekchinedu) on Apr 10, 2015 at 6:45am PDT

If you’re a man reading this, have you given up yet?

2. With that beard.

The closest I can get to “shades” and “grey”. A photo posted by Marek Chinedu Zmyslowski (@marekchinedu) on Apr 3, 2015 at 5:01am PDT

He passes for a Lagos big boy. The glasses…oh god!

3. He’s 6’4 too.

Greek god much?

4. And he Models.

#TBT The look on the face is called “You just spotted in the club someone who owes you cash and wasnt replying your calls and he’s ordering drinks”. @kinghakbal suits rock though.

A photo posted by Marek Chinedu Zmyslowski (@marekchinedu) on Jul 16, 2015 at 4:39am PDT

No one man should have this level of slayage.

5. Look at him with his puppy.

– So do you really have to go to work and leave me here all alone? #shihtzu #puppy #menanddogs A photo posted by Marek Chinedu Zmyslowski (@marekchinedu) on Jul 14, 2015 at 12:20am PDT

So adorable! Are you not melting?

6. He is incredibly smart.

He’s an entrepreneur and Seed Stage Investor; and he’s the Founder & MD of Jovago.com.

https://instagram.com/p/3ZrqO7uWOq/?taken-by=marekchinedu

And he’s only 28 years old.

7. He obviously likes good things.

I mean, he’s engaged to Kehinde Smith. She’s gorgeous.

https://instagram.com/p/1gMOBNuWAg/?taken-by=marekchinedu

And they look so cute together.

https://instagram.com/p/5IOO9KuWJ_/?taken-by=marekchinedu

Imagine the kids. My ovaries.

8. He’s not afraid to try new things.

Marek eats his swallow and efo with Ketchup.

Efo with ketchup. Sorry Nigeria but I like it that way! ?:)

A photo posted by Marek Chinedu Zmyslowski (@marekchinedu) on Dec 3, 2014 at 8:58am PST

Wonder which other new things he’s down for?

9. He’s comfortable with babies.

Alright, I think I’m ready. ?? A photo posted by Marek Chinedu Zmyslowski (@marekchinedu) on May 24, 2015 at 11:34am PDT

There those ovaries go again.

10. He works out.

Good Morning. #gym #fit

A photo posted by Marek Chinedu Zmyslowski (@marekchinedu) on Apr 6, 2015 at 1:40am PDT

Sweaty men are still in right? We are just asking.

11. He’s Nigerian by association.

You know the saying “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are. Well, it applies to Marek. How many white people do you know that have Nigerian names aka Marek Chinedu?

https://instagram.com/p/x6kBjnuWGh/

Instagram pic of him with Nigerian celebrities.

Happy Birthday, Marek! Have a great one!

Odunayo

August 19, 2015

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