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These are always our favourite kinds of visitors. The big aunties and uncles that always come armed with goodies and never leave without dropping “something” in your hand when they’re leaving. Stomach infrastructure so on point it’s like they all attended the Fayose School of Stomach Infrastructure.
2. The FFO (For Food Only)
These ones will visit your house for the food. It’s all about the food. They will time it to arrive just when lunch is being prepared so that you will have no choice but to add their mouth join.
3. The Picky Eaters
These ones will refuse everything you offer them. They are either watching their weight or height, and if they even end up agreeing to take something, they will never finish anything you serve them.
4. The Poke Nosers
These ones can’t keep their opinions to themselves. They have an opinion on everything. From how you cook your food to how you discipline your children. Uncle, who asked you?
5. The Unannounced Visitor
These ones will never call or text or even “Wuzzup” before coming around. They’ll just show up, like Judgement Day, and start giving you wahala trying to think of what to offer them, getting where they will sleep ready and everything.
6. The “I Just Dropped By” Visitors
These ones are not so bad. Their visit is always quick. It usually starts and ends at the door. They just sha wanted to see your face that you’re alive and they’re gone. Finish. O pari. Shikena. No stress to go and start buying coke and groundnut.
7. The Freeloader
They might have come into your home for a visit, but before they leave they will become a part of the family. They will enter your house with one small bag, then before you know it, their possessions have full everywhere and they do not want to leave again.
And now, here’s a post on the 7 kinds of people you’ll meet at the ATM:
Sometimes, you may not be in the best moods to entertain visitors. To make matters worse, they come and start misbehaving. You are just there praying to God to hold your mouth and hands. If you have ever been in this situation you will understand these.
1. When someone comes visiting with a travelling bag
Hello, excuse me what’s all this? Visit not vacation!
2. When they come and start asking for the most random things
It seems something is wrong with you today.
3. “Why didn’t you arrange your house”
Is it your house? Is it your arrange? Leave me please.
4. When they start making food demands like asking for pounded yam
Because this is your family restaurant?
5. Guests that only show up when they know you are cooking
You are such an unfortunate fellow but you won’t hear it from my mouth.
6. When a guest changes the DSTV channel to Africa Magic Yoruba
Are you okay at all? On my own money for subscription.
7. And then proceed to state they prefer fresh fish
The people that are doing you are dead.
8. When visitors want to scold you or encourage your parents to scold you
Oshey minister of scolding, carry your wahala and go. Oversabi.
9. And they expect you to cater to their needs and entertain them
What do you think I look like?
10. When a visitor says”can I have that drink you gave me the other time”
Ths one wants to turn me to bar man. Can you please not.
11. When a guest boldly says “won’t you turn on the gen?”
As costly as fuel is? Not today Satan.
12. When guests start thinking being a guest = special rights
So you want me to serve you and clear the plates and wash them? Please use your brain.
13. When guests begin to feel too comfortable and at home
Excuse me sir, I pay the rent here.
14. Or someone starts heading to your fridge or cupboard
Where do you think you are going?
15. When a guest starts invading your room and closet
Heyss don’t be stupid my friend respect yourself.
16. When they want takeaway because the food was sweet
If you don’t get out from here before I open my eyes.
17. And sometimes when they begin to overstay their welcome
See, we have burial in the village come and be going please.
Sometimes, you may not be in the best moods to entertain visitors. To make matters worse, they come and start misbehaving. You are just there praying to God to hold your mouth and hands. If you have ever been in this situation you will understand these.
