Group project | Zikoko!

A wise man once said, “When I die, I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.”

If you have ever been frustrated by a university group project, this is one article you will relate to.

1. First of all, prepare to not get mark you deserve.

If there is anything a university group work will teach you, it is that you will get marks that are not commensurate with the work you put in. Either the mark is too low, or in worst cases, the lecturer might not include it when they total all your marks after the examination. You then begin to wonder if the group work was a waste.

2. Some people will not do as much work, but will get higher marks than those who did.

It could be luck, or we could all be honest and blame the shitty lecturer who just gave out marks arbitrarily. Pick your fighter.

3. Group works will show you just how useless some of your course mates are.

Yes, everybody looks dope and cute and responsible. Wait until you are put in the same group with them. That’s when you will realise that many are useless, but it’s just obvious to a few.

4. YOU HAVE TO BEG SOME PEOPLE TO SUBMIT THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS.

For crying out loud, why do you have to beg someone to submit their contributions to a group work that is part of their course load? Why do we have to beg you to succeed? Do you not like yourself?

5. Even after all the begging, some people will not submit anything.

And then on the day the group work is due, they will manifest like a bad fart and start begging you to put their names. Excuse me dear, the only thing I will be putting your name on is the list of those who deserve to fail. Please get out of my sight.

6. Some people submit their contributions, but it is either plagiarised or completely senseless.

These ones just leave you confused. Yes, they submitted, but their submission is useless. The worst part? They usually end up getting the high marks.

7. Expect to see that one person who will not contribute or show up for meetings but will come on the last day and offer to pay for printing.

This is the Obi Cubana of university group work. Talking about, “How much is the printing, let me pay for it and you will put my name.” LMAO. First of all, may you and your money perish. Who do you think you are? Where were you when the whole group was working?

8. If you ask group members to contribute a small amount of money towards binding and printing, someone will accuse you of eating their money.

Don’t sweat it. It is a normal occurence.

9. By the way, there will always be a problem with finding who will present the work.

All of you have done the work, let one person come out to present, but nobody will. This is one major tug of war.

10. At the root of it all, you must think of how you can do the group work alone and you will get annoyed all over again.

Because, really, why did the lecturer add you to this group when it could easily have been an assignment for you alone? Just why?

[donation]

Kunle Ologunro

November 6, 2021

Inside Life

campus, Group project, group work
Your life as a student is an overload of assignments and projects, crippling your desire and plans to live your best life. Group assignments can be pretty chill sometimes, but at other times, the odds will be against you and you wonder if the grades are worth the trouble.

1. When you find out that you don’t talk to anyone in your group

What’s all this?

2. You, when someone asks you to be the group leader

Are you okay?

3. You, when the appointed group leader starts collecting names and phone numbers

Relax now, you’re not getting paid.

4. When you see that you’ve been added to a new WhatsApp group

Oh God!

5. You, toying with the idea of leaving the group

What’s the worst that could happen?

6. When everyone in the group has something to say about how to get the work done

Will you keep quiet?

7. When the group leader schedules a meeting for the weekend

Why are you so wicked?

8. When they start talking about everyone contributing money

Just kill me

9. When you see that other groups are more organised than yours

How did I find myself here?

10. When everyone suddenly takes the assignment seriously three days before the deadline

All of you are stupid.

11. You, when you see someone who didn’t come for any meetings during the presentation

Who are you and why are you here?

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Toheeb Lanlehin

March 20, 2020

Aluta and Chill

Group project, University
When the lecturer pairs you with people you don’t talk to

It stings more if two or more of your friends are in the same group.

When the group leader starts collecting phone numbers

You know what is coming; endless calls and texts.

When you get the “you’ve been added to a group” WhatsApp notification

It’s happening. You flirt with the “report as spam” and “leave group” ideas, but your grades.

When you see other groups working their asses off, but your group is still figuring out the best direction

You’ve had only one brief meeting, actually. Well, that sounds like the group leader’s problem.

When the group leader schedule a meeting for the weekend

Like don’t you have a life?

When you realise that you have to cough more money than you’d planned

You are not expecting money from home until the end of the month. Hello, brokeness. Well played, universe.

When it’s almost deadline and your group is nowhere close to being done

You couldn’t care less until you remember where your CGPA stands. Or maybe it wouldn’t be much problem; you only need to get 60 out of 70 in the exam now. Leemao.

When someone you didn’t see at any of the meetings show up for the presentation

Oh wait, a few extra bucks meant you wouldn’t have dealt with any of this? Who knew?

Toheeb Lanlehin

October 8, 2019

Campus

assignment, Group project, student
1. You, running to your squad when the lecturer lets you pick your group.

Can’t carry last.
2. How you feel when the lecturer picks the groups themselves:

NOOOOO!!!
3. When you get grouped with the class olodos.

Can’t fail with you people.
4. When you organize a group meeting and nobody shows up.

See my life.
5. Your group members waiting for you to do all the work:

Even topic idea they won’t drop.
6. This person in every group project:

See this one.
7. How you write your name when you end up doing all the work.

No time.
8. The person you didn’t even know was in your group that turns up on the last day like:

Who is this one?
9. When the person that didn’t do any work starts doing the most during the presentation.

Are you well?
10. How you look at them when they get asked a question they don’t know.

Oya talk na.
11. What group projects teach you:

The worst.
12. Your face, when they end up giving all of you the same grade.

Is it fair?
13. How you feel about your group members till this day:

The truth.

Daniel Orubo

June 7, 2016

Oldies

Africa, Group project, Nigeria, University

1. First of all, prepare to not get mark you deserve.

2. Some people will not do as much work, but will get higher marks than those who did.

3. Group works will show you just how useless some of your course mates are.

4. YOU HAVE TO BEG SOME PEOPLE TO SUBMIT THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS.

5. Even after all the begging, some people will not submit anything.

6. Some people submit their contributions, but it is either plagiarised or completely senseless.

7. Expect to see that one person who will not contribute or show up for meetings but will come on the last day and offer to pay for printing.

8. If you ask group members to contribute a small amount of money towards binding and printing, someone will accuse you of eating their money.

9. By the way, there will always be a problem with finding who will present the work.

10. At the root of it all, you must think of how you can do the group work alone and you will get annoyed all over again.

1. When you find out that you don’t talk to anyone in your group

2. You, when someone asks you to be the group leader

3. You, when the appointed group leader starts collecting names and phone numbers

4. When you see that you’ve been added to a new WhatsApp group

5. You, toying with the idea of leaving the group

6. When everyone in the group has something to say about how to get the work done

7. When the group leader schedules a meeting for the weekend

8. When they start talking about everyone contributing money

9. When you see that other groups are more organised than yours

10. When everyone suddenly takes the assignment seriously three days before the deadline

11. You, when you see someone who didn’t come for any meetings during the presentation

When the lecturer pairs you with people you don’t talk to

When the group leader starts collecting phone numbers

When you get the “you’ve been added to a group” WhatsApp notification

When you see other groups working their asses off, but your group is still figuring out the best direction

When the group leader schedule a meeting for the weekend

When you realise that you have to cough more money than you’d planned

When it’s almost deadline and your group is nowhere close to being done

When someone you didn’t see at any of the meetings show up for the presentation

1. You, running to your squad when the lecturer lets you pick your group.

2. How you feel when the lecturer picks the groups themselves:

3. When you get grouped with the class olodos.

4. When you organize a group meeting and nobody shows up.

5. Your group members waiting for you to do all the work:

6. This person in every group project:

7. How you write your name when you end up doing all the work.

8. The person you didn’t even know was in your group that turns up on the last day like:

9. When the person that didn’t do any work starts doing the most during the presentation.

10. How you look at them when they get asked a question they don’t know.

11. What group projects teach you:

12. Your face, when they end up giving all of you the same grade.

13. How you feel about your group members till this day: