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gbegiri | Zikoko!
  • 10 Food Combinations Nigerians Need to Normalise

    Nigerians often like to play it safe with food. The typical Nigerian would visit a foreign country only to ask for egusi soup. It’s time to stop that behaviour. We came up with these top ten food combinations you need to try out. Brethren, this life is too short to eat boring food.

    1. Shawarma with ponmo slices.

    Hear me out: if we can eat chicken shawarma and beef shawarma, then what’s stopping us from trying out ponmo shawarma? Besides, isn’t ponmo part of beef? You people just hate local content, that’s why you are discriminating against ponmo. Free yourself from discrimination, add ponmo to your shawarma today and live life.

    2. Eba and ketchup.

    The rationale behind this is simple. If we can eat tomato stew, why not tomato ketchup and eba? Ketchup is literally tomato stew with sugar, so what is stopping us from normalising it, especially on those nights when you wake up hungry and there is nothing at home. If you have ketchup, you can just make eba and eat both.

    NB: This photo has plantain added.

    3. Plantain and ice-cream.

    If you have not tried this, I’m sorry for you oh. Sweetness overload.

    4. Golden morn and stew.

    The Yoruba part of me endorses this. I can’t eat something bland without adding a dash of pepper. Golden Morn isn’t exactly bland, but it’s too plain and sometimes, a little stew is what is needed for that extra oomph. You don’t have to try with stew on your first attempt. Start with stewed meat. Eat one spoon of Golden Morn and bite the meat. The next time you eat Golden Morn, you will be eager to try proper stew.

    5. Gbegiri and bread.

    Let me not even hear anybody shout. You people can eat bread and beans but bread and gbegiri is where you draw the line? Isn’t gbegiri beans soup? Please please please. So you can eat amala and beans but not bread and beans in soup form? Don’t vex me.

    6. Baileys and cornflakes.

    Alcoholics will love this one. And we give it to you.

    7. Garri and milk with tomato slices.

    It’s time to take your garri drinking to the next level. If you are worried that milk will make you add weight, that’s why the tomato slices are there: to help you diet.

    8. Fried yam and ice cream.

    I don’t have to preach about this for too long. The experience is in the taste. Try it and see that the Lord is good.

    9. Garri and cake.

    You can either cut your cake into bits and pour it into the garri, or you can bite the cake after each spoon of garri. Both ways work and are guaranteed to give you a throatgasm. I know, I’ve been there.

    10. Semo and Milo.

    If Semo porridge is your thing, then you will enjoy this immensely. Now, who do we have to talk to so we can sign these foods into the constitution?

    [donation]

  • 7 Foods That Need To Really Step Up Their PR Game

    PR is necessary — it is the only one thing that can make or mar a food’s reputation. And this is such a time where people can carry on a food slander without actually tasting the food itself. So, these foods need to do better if they don’t want to be wiped out of existence or become culinary pariahs.

    1. Avocado

    Avocado 101 - Benefits, Types, and Nutrition - Jessica Gavin

    The PR for this one is a cross between good and bad. Half the time, you see people who argue that it is the best thing and some others who fight for it to be cancelled. Girl, rise and defend yourself.

    2. Isi ewu

    Seven Easy Steps To Preparing Isi Ewu (Goat head) — Guardian Life — The  Guardian Nigeria News – Nigeria and World News

    This one has good PR. But the wooden bowl they serve it in is a scam. It better change its game before the secret is discovered.

    3. Gbegiri

    Yoruba Gbegiri Soup Recipe - How to cook Yoruba Gbegiri Soup!

    This one is hiding under amala and ewedu to feel good. Weyrey dey disguise. Something that people will soon start abandoning when they see that it is a dependent soup.

    4. Starch

    How to make Starch – Usi (Swallow for Banga) | Dobby's Signature

    This sweetheart is not blowing its trumpet hard enough and it’s upsetting me and my homegurls.

    5. Bounty.

    Bounty (chocolate bar) - Wikipedia

    Personally, I love Bounty. I like how it is one thing on the outside and another thing on the inside. But the chocolate itself needs to hire itself a good PR manager so I don’t have to keep hiding my face when they ask Bounty eaters to come out.

    6. Semo.

    7 Nigerian Swallows With Bad PR

    This one’s reputation is in the trash already. It will take a miracle to revive it. Here’s our interview with it: Interview With Semo: “My Slander Is So Forced”

    7. Pupuru.

    There’s very little that is known about this Ondo delicacy and I don’t like how this information is being withheld from the public. I tried pupuru once and my life was never the same.

    One year ago, we left Nigeria for an 80-day adventure across West Africa. Something is coming. Unshared stories. New perspectives. Limited series. 10 episodes.

  • Haters, Shift to One Side. This Is a Beans Appreciation Post

    1. Can your favourite meal ever look as beautiful as these akara balls?

    2. Can your fried rice give life like this Okpa?

    3. You can’t hate on this glorious Ewa Agoyin please.

    4. This moin moin didn’t come to play.

    5. Dan Wake that will make you fall in love.

    6. This ekuru that deserves its own chieftancy title.

    7. Can your favourite food ever make ewedu look this good? I guess not!

  • Watch This Hilarious Video about the Life of a Nigerian Couple
    Nigeria is made up of diverse cultures and ethnic groups who often intermarry. This short mockumentary focuses on a young Nigerian Couple who try to live together peacefully, without killing each other.

    The Igbo husband is hankering for his local food and his wife has taken her time to prepare her native food.

    He wants to eat Ofe Owerri.
    And she prepared amala, gbegiri and ewedu.

    You can imagine what happens. The accompanying voice-over is funny and makes for an even more hilarious story.