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As kids, we wanted to become adults so we could eat two pieces of meat with our full chest. But here you are, living in the absolute ghetto of bills and stress with no way out. While you’re trapped here, you have to admit that there are some perks that come with being completely unsupervised for the rest of your life.
Here are 12 perks of adulthood that actually make sense.
Two pieces of meat is child’s play
When you’re a real adult, you can eat every single piece of meat in your pot at once if you like. Nobody can question your authority again.
Drinking beer and eating shawarma by 1 a.m. every week
As an adult, you can eat anything and at any time. You may die from a heart attack by 40 but at least you’ll be happy. And that’s all that matters as you get older: happiness.
Walking around naked in peace at odd hours
The most creative ideas happen when you’re naked between the hours of 12 a.m. and 3 a.m., so this isn’t surprising. And the good thing about being an adult in this scenario, particularly one who lives alone, is that you’re not at the risk of your parents catching you butt-naked when they wake up for midnight prayers.
Ahhhh… coffee, the Capri Sun of adulthood. Some of you are hanging on to life by a thread and the only thing keeping you alive is frothing your oat milk every morning. Love to see it. For those that are unfamiliar with the term frothing, coffee is definitely not the reason you’re alive. Move to the next entry.
Spending your own money
Your brokeness is nobody’s business. No more “Daddy and Mummy, please I want.” Those days are behind us. Now, all the financially reckless decisions you can take are completely at your disposal. If you want to spend all your annual rent in Dubai, that’s your business. If you end up spending your last ₦1k on shawarma, na still your business.
Nobody can beat you
Except you steal somebody’s wife or husband sha. Other than that, no one can talk to you anyhow as an adult. If anybody wants to fight you, they should come and meet you at home.
Stealing a sip of Don Simon had to be the bragging right of every ten year old. Now, some of us seek solace in wine once it’s 6 p.m every night. Imagine that with a mix of Ribena, a good book and some peppery suya on the side.
Your Saturday mornings belong to you
Our African mothers are somewhere gnashing their teeth. But they’ll be fine. Except you’re a slave to capitalism over the weekends, you can decide to sing Bruno Mars’ Lazy Song and actually mean it.
Don’t try this if you’re broke o. But as an adult, being able to finally talk back to your annoying aunties and uncle during family meetings has to be the best feeling in the world. There’s nothing like reminding that aunt that called you “fat” that she’s the captain of the ship.
You can also choose to pretend your family members don’t exist and block everybody. Again, approach with caution if you no get money.
Respect
Now you’re the aunty or uncle that gets to tell kids “no” without an explanation. The mad part is being able to do the exact same thing you said no to. Them go beat you?
There’s nothing as annoying as being forced to wear absolute rubbish as a child. Imagine someone’s sister forcing her to wear blazers at 14, why? As an adult, you can choose to wear two completely different pairs of shoes and call it fashion with no questions asked. That’s why corsets have the audacity to make a comeback to the fashion scene.
Curfews are not your business
Who’s coming home by 7 p.m.? Definitely not you. All the rushing-home-when-the-party-is-just-starting days are completely behind us. Now, na we dey run this town. And as the bosses of our own lives, we can stay out as long as we like. Sha be careful if you still live with your parents o!
All we wanted as kids were extra pieces of meat. But we went and grew up, and now, if we’re not dealing with the ever-increasing prices of foodstuff, it’s the national grid collapsing every other Eke market day. How do we stay sane in the insanity? As a Nigerian, these are the eleven things that are keeping you from losing your shit.
1. Juice boxes
As a Nigerian adult, juice is the only reminder we have of the good days. Those were the easiest times when all that mattered was your 2go username. Some of us can’t survive if Capri Sonne or Ribena shrinks any further in size.
2. Coffee
It’s either as black as the hearts of people drinking it or you drink it with bougie things like almond and oat milk. Whatever you choose, we’re all getting through the day with the closest thing to legal hard drugs: caffeine.
3. TikTok
Millennials and baby boomers discovered they could clap and move to the left and to the right; now they won’t let the app rest. TikTok is the only thing bringing joy into their lives so we have to endure them.
4. Alcohol
It starts with telling yourself sweet wine is basically juice. Next thing, you find yourself recommending your best brand of alcohol to your colleagues and friends.
5. Friends
Take away the two or three people you know, and it’s over for you in this life. Better cherish the ones you have.
6. Cartoons
You may deny it, but Cocomelon is the only thing keeping you sane. The older you get, the more you cling to the past.
If you take away party jollof, asoebi and small chops, some people can die. For the rest of us happening babes, it’s life jackets for weekly boat cruises.
8. Inanimate objects
Once you clock 24, it’s fascinating how receiving free curtains and chairs can brighten up your day. As long as it’s useful for an apartment or car and it makes you smile, you’re getting old, my dear.
9. Food
Especially free food. Need I say more? The only thing Nigeria has in abundance is good food. Amala and gbegiri is lowkey the only reason some of us wake up in this country.
Now that electricity is playing hide-and-seek, I don’t know how you people are doing it sha. Kindly share your tips.
11. Lies
As adults, our sanity is assured by the lies we tell. They may come back to bite us, but no one can take away the five seconds of peace we enjoyed before the storm.
They say two heads are better than one, and this article proves that Zikoko is the only head you need to be great. In this article, we’re giving you the inside gist on growing a money tree. Forget capitalism. Follow these seven steps and you’ll hit the jackpot.
1. Find a seed, obviously
It can be the seed of the womb, an agbalumo seed; just find a seed to plant.
2. Borrow holy water from your local church or find your ancestors
If you know anything about agriculture, a seed needs water to grow. For a money tree? The water has to be the ones purified by your either your village people or your local church. Whichever works for you.
3. Eat egbo (sacrifice)
This isn’t Nollywood, so we’re not asking for a blood sacrifice. Just go under the bridge or inside a bush, and look very well. Anything you see wrapped in a calabash is with food is egbo. Eat it. That’s how you’ll access your village people to bless the water.
4. Eat the rich
This isn’t a sacrifice, it’s a necessity. Money only comes to those who have it. So why not eat the ones that already do? Start with the people buying sardine. They’re all criminals.
5. Wear a “My money grows like grass” t-shirt to sleep every night
We’re going for affirmations — speak it, think it, wear it. If you don’t have, attend our events and collect Zikoko merch. No need to thank us, it’s for the cause.
6. Talk to the trees
Go into the forest and spend the night lamenting about everything going on in Nigeria. From fuel scarcity to the heatwave, some of the trees might just pity you and grow money.
Now for the final step…
7. Use the last money in your account to eat
Farming is a lot of work. That’s why Uncle Bubu wanted to send us there as lazy youths. For this tree to grow, you need strength. A hungry man cannot plant or grow anything. So my dear, eat.
Please note, these seven steps should be done within three to five working days.
If Nigerians are as broke as we say on Mark Zuckerberg’s internet, then these businesses should have collapsed by now.
1. Shawarma Stands
Everyone keeps complaining about inflation, but who are the people buying shawarma? Why are shawarma stands opening up ‘ere and there if we’re broke? These are the questions we need answers to.
2. Transportation
Nigerians say they’re broke but we all know one person jumping cities for knacks. Kudos to them for keeping God is Good transport running.
3. Petrol
Fuel went from ₦65 per litre in 2009 to ₦165 per litre in 2022, and Nigerians are still turning on generators and fuel-guzzling cars like range rovers, land cruisers and benz (criminals) every day. We should consider trekking as a protest, so the government can take our brokeness seriously.
4. Data
MTN wouldn’t have the mind to say “everywhere you go” if Nigerians were truly broke. This one has Nigerians on a chokehold. If you don’t convince yourself to buy at least ₦1k data every two days so you can read Naira Life, then you’re not a Nigerian. We won’t say you should stop sha. Keep being the bad girl that you are.
5. Hair
This hair vendor is making ₦850k on the head of Nigerians, and we’re supposed to believe you people are broke? Come off it. There’s no amount of inflation that will make a Nigerian man break up with his barber or stop Nigerian women from using land money to buy human hair.
6. Apple Inc.
The dollar is rising, the dollar is rising, but half of the country owns either an iPhone or MacBook pro. Are these people Ghanaians and South Africans? Stop telling lies.
7. Noodles
Where are y’all finding money to eat indomie in the morning, afternoon, and night? Or seeing the money to add sardine and eggs as garnish? You people need to say the truth. Bring out that ghana must go under your bed that’ll make Dangote look like a small boy.
I saw an interesting tweet about setting boundaries with Nigerian parents as an adult.
Hm, the Nigerian in me shuddered. I decided to ask other Nigerians about their experiences. Did it end in tears? Or did it end in praise? Find out what these six Nigerians had to say.
“I’d be on Zoom meetings while turning poundo yam”
I live with my parents, so this may not be the best approach for someone without thick skin. My mother is a workaholic, and it affected how she used to run the house. I have a brother with special needs, so I had to do a lot of chores. I spend a large chunk of my day either cooking or cleaning. Even God rested on the seventh day, but my mother? I’d attend Zoom meetings while turning poundo yam, because I have a father that loves his “swallow” in the morning. There were interruptions between meetings without regard. She’d complain that I was selfish when I went out.
My mind was overwhelmed and there was no mental release. I had to press pause in 2021. I decided to stop waking up to help out. I woke up to only attend my meetings and focus on chores later in the day. There was pushback, but I held my ground. Months went by and I stuck with the routine. The best I could do was buy food for the house when my mum seemed stressed. I wanted to show her that life can be easy. These days, not having to prove myself as a ”good” woman to my mother has been bliss. I’m saving to move out sha.
— Tope, 24
“Honestly, there’s no way to set boundaries with a Yoruba mother”
My mum never respected my time. She believed she could always control me — I hated it. The annoying part was how irrelevant some of the requests were. I could be in class at uni and she’d call me to come home to sort out her make-up for a party. Any objection always spiraled into huge fights and horrible words being said to me. I remember rushing out of a class after one of her calls. I thought it was urgent because she refused to tell me what was wrong. When I got home, it was about my sister talking to men and how I needed to give her advice. I was confused. That was the moment I knew I wasn’t going to live at home after uni. Honestly, there’s no way to set boundaries with a Yoruba mother unless you move out. Now that I’m no longer depending on anyone, I can say no with my full chest.
— Mimi, 26
“I had to block all of them from viewing my Whatsapp statuses and on every social media platform”
My mum and her sisters were fond of messaging me about ladies they saw on my Whatsapp statuses. Whenever I didn’t respond, they frustrated me with calls — those women were literally after my life. On one of their numerous amebo ventures, I had to cut the call. That’s where the problem started. My mum dragged me on the family group chat for disrespecting her. After that, I had to block all of them from viewing my Whatsapp statuses and on every social media platform. They probably can’t tell because I only let them view my status on Mother’s Day and on their birthdays. A while later, there was another confrontation about the women in my life, and this time it was physical. I said something I can’t repeat for other people to try. Let’s just say fire was set on the family group shortly after. My life has been at peace since sha. So I’d recommend one or two comebacks when family members want to be a nuisance.
— Segun, 27
“All I did was leave the house and go off the grid for two days”
This was pretty easy. My dad made a list of rules and curfews when I visited home during the holidays. I don’t know what was triggering him at the time but I didn’t stress myself. All I did was leave the house and go off the grid for two days. When he couldn’t call or text me, his body calmed down a bit. He never brought up curfews again
— Kingsley, 29
“I didn’t share my address with my mum or my siblings until after a year”
My mum talked carelessly to me. It affected my confidence and I couldn’t work on it in the same space with her. I had to leave. When I left, I didn’t share my address with my mum or my siblings until after a year. Whenever calls got heated or disrespectful, I politely told her I was leaving the conversation and ended the call. Honestly, if I wasn’t a Christian, I probably would never share my address with her. Now she calls before coming over and there’s mutual respect in navigating our relationship. Taking that step boosted my confidence a lot.
— Temple, 28
“Forgiveness is better than permission”
With Nigerian parents, just do it. Especially if they are as conservative as mine. My parents are deeper life members, so there were boundaries with jewelry and clothes growing up. I wanted to explore as I got older and having equally rebellious siblings made it easier. I got piercings and dressed however I wanted as I got older. Asking was only going to end with a long conversation, so why bother? My mother has learned to accept us, but my father is still processing stuff. Either way, I’m out of the house so it doesn’t bother me.
These loan apps are on a mission to disgrace you with those bulk messages they’re sending to your contacts. Fear not brethren, because as always, we’re here with a solution. Any of these ten ideas will help you avoid embarrassment and hold onto the money you borrowed without paying back.
1. Deny it
Look, there’s a possibility that this thing may not work for you, and if that’s the case, it’s clearly your village people. The next step for you should be to deny everything those messages said. All you need is a broadcast message that highlights your integrity accuse those apps of blasphemy. Post the message everywhere and look away.
2. Hack them
This is another reason to be a tech bro and we’ve already shown you how. So copy-paste some code and see your name disappear from their system. You’re welcome.
3. Use a fake ID
Trust me, Werey dey disguise can work here. Just use your enemy’s driver’s license and passport. Frustrate your enemies and cash out in their name; that’s how to kill two birds with one stone.
4. Get a lawyer
That your cousin in 300 Level studying law is your best option. Get them involved and drag those beeshes to court for defaming your character and tarnishing your image.
5. Buy the dip
When you hear crypto guys saying, “Buy the dip, buy the dip,” it’s actually not a joke. Use that loan to buy the dip and cash out. You may end up being rich enough to japa and block everyone on your contact list. It’s called starting afresh.
6. Don’t care
Take a page from Uncle Bubu’s lesson notes. Nigeria is in debt, so who are you to pay up? Have you ever seen Uncle Bubu come and explain the situation to us? No. So forget about the messages and enjoy your life.
7. Carry two odds
If you didn’t understand this term, skip to the next option. This one is for the big boys on the streets. You can get ahead of this thing and pay back with one small bet. Make sure it’s not Arsenal and you’ll probably be alright. If you lose, that’s your business. We’ve tried.
8. Diversify your loans
You’re everywhere, but you’re nowhere at the same time. How many people can believe you borrowed money from five different apps? A boss like you? That’s an insult you won’t stand for.
9. Enter politics
Nigerian politicians have hacked the whole system of broad daylight robbery. Join them. All you need to do is announce your intention to run for President. Your tag line should be Representing the youths. When you win, the rest is history.
10. Start a GoFundMe
Nigerians can be stingy, but a good story will get you the money you need. We can’t guarantee that someone won’t catch you, but at least you would have collected the money to pay back the loan in time.
Nigerian parents can sell everything they own to send us to school, but you see these seven items? They would rather jump into a lagoon than buy them.
1. Premium enjoyment
From the early days of hearing, “There’s rice at home to eat,” to, “Let me hold your money for you.,” it’s evident that Nigerian parents have made a covenant against using their money for premium enjoyment. Why?
2. Your happiness
Happiness to a Nigerian parent are the clothes on your back, roof over your and food on the table. Any other thing is your business. Go and find money for it because they’re not paying for that dear.
3. Therapy
They will never even admit that they need it in the first place, so spending their money on it is asking a bit much. The best you can do is secretly pay for a session and tell them it’s a prayer meeting.
4. Data
Anything concerning data is too stressful and technical. They’ll guilt trip you into buying data for them only to end up rewarding you by spamming you with daily Whatsapp BCs.
5. Chargers
A Nigerian parent will misplace their charger and never think of how to replace it. All they do is show up at the house, shout your name like a criminal and ask you to bring your own charger for them. That’s pretty much the end of owning a charger until you spend your money to get them another one.
6. Skin care products
A Nigerian mother will tell you how she can never waste her money on “those unnecessary things” you rub on your face. Then watch her stroll into your room to casually to let her even see the “thing” that you are using sef. Next thing, she’s coming every morning to wash her face with the same products she insulted you for. Don’t even suggest it to her to buy it; just buy your own so you can have peace.
7. Phones
Are your parents even Nigerian if they haven’t told you, “A phone is only for texting and calling?” Any phone more than 20k is a taboo in the How to Be a Nigerian Parent handbook. Trust me, your parents aren’t Nigerians if they don’t remind you about how you just waste money on gadgets. But once you buy it for them, the family group chat will be on fire.
After seven months of fasting, trials, and tribulations, we can finally log on to Paraga’s app without VPNs? Brothers and sisters, this right here, is what we call a miracle. Could all of this have been avoided if Bubu had just unlooked and focused on borrowing more money? Yes. But like Michael Jackson said, “They don’t really care about us.” To celebrate our “legal” return to Twitter streets, we’ve decided to compile memes that accurately describe the situation in the country now that the ban has been lifted.
1. People who just renewed their VPN subscription looking at the rest of us celebrate
So some of you were paying for VPN? It’s giving wealth and opulence. What happened to free VPN, dears? Well, sorry for your loss sha.
2. Banks, brands and other governmentcompliant agencies getting ready to hit the Twitter streets
They’ve already started posting cringe TikTok challenges. Must affliction rise again? Please, focus on responding to your customers on time. We don’t pay you to dance.
3. Nigerians returning from all the countries VPN took them to
Who said you can’t travel without visa? Call them a detty liar and tell them about all the trips you took thanks to your VPN. If there’s one thing we’ll miss about the ban, it’s the way we were confusing other countries’ Twitter trends during the height of BBNaija. Good times.
4. What the Nigerian government thought we would do, but we have coconut heads
Beg? Nigerian youths? It’s like they don’t know who we are. Give us fire, and we will use it to turn semo.
5. Our followers increasing out of nowhere
Please, why are all of you following us? We know we are funny and the most happening babes in town, but this increase feels a bit suspicious. We are sleeping with one eye opened.
6. A visual of us trying to revive our phone batteries after months of VPN suffering
7. Nigerian police after they realize they can’t harass because of Twitter anymore
I guess it’s time to go back to tattoos and dreadlocks.
8. Nigerian politiciansready to begin another round of detty lies
We see you. We know you. We won’t vote for you.
9. Customer service agents knowing that they’ve entered one chance
You guys were not picking our calls. Well, Twitter is back and we can drag your companies by their dirty undies in public. Get ready to start responding to tweets with “Hi Sola, how may we help you?”
10. Nigerians celebrating freedom from VPN even though we know this is decision was an campaign tactic
We know what they’re doing, but we still celebrate regardless because we have been in the trenches for too long.
Did you see that gist about the guy that got fired after asking his co-worker whether she had started breastfeeding her son? If not, here is the thread for updates.
See eh, there’s nothing as important as minding the business that actually pays you money this year. So as we unlearn this habit, here are eight other questions both men and women really need to stop asking other women this year.
1. Why are you adding or losing so much weight?
See eh, we’ve had enough threads on why we need to stop doing this. Women add weight and lose weight for different reasons and it’s not your business if you’re not a doctor. The only thing you need to know is what size they are if you’re getting a gift and even that one requires some level of familiarity.
2. Who bought it for you?
You sef, haba! Who bought that dress for you? Who bought that car for you? Who bought, who bought. Mind ya business. Just observe and focus on getting your own.
3. Why do you like wearing so much makeup?
There’s no need to to tell her how makeup makes women age or how you prefer women that don’t wear makeup. If it’s really affecting you, comot your eye.
4. Why are you pregnant again?
Womb watchers, we need you to take a break this year. Let’s give room for people to be on their own journeys without so much anxiety from people that aren’t a part of it.
5. Who wore it better?
Let beauty exist without any competition this year. If you see two women wearing the exact same thing, just tell them how beautiful they look and move on. There’s no need to do a whole collage and tag them as A or B for the world to pick every time.
6. So who got you the job?
The “this is a man’s world” mentality is so 1990. Stop! In a world with women as business moguls and industry experts, how are you still asking young women how they’re getting jobs? She used jazz, don’t worry.
7. Why are you always going out?
There’s only one response to this: Is it your daddy’s money? Go and steal it from her now.
8. Do you have a fine sister like you at home?
Why? What is the reason for this question exactly? Because it’s not what? Your business dear. Stop it.
How is 2020 looking for you, my fellow outside people? It’s day seven of January, and we still have about 100 more days to go. So while you hold on to the memories of Detty December in your current state of SAPA, I advise you to cut out these expenses this year.
1. Stop buying food
You can just disguise and join the fitfam people this month to blend grass into smoothies. Or you can join that 90 days dry fasting happening at your church. Who knows, you may even win the fight against your village people.
2. Cancel every Netflix ‘n’ Chill
You want to bam ba? You want to chill with the big boys? Lol. I honestly can’t help you. See you on day 100 of January.
3. Delete any title of boss/iyawo oga
Before they say chairman or boss, just start rolling on the floor. You are not anybody’s boss in Jesus name. You can even hang a SAPA placard on your back.
4. Block all your friends and stay at home
This is the time to avoid any catch me outside talk. Omarion is kuku there now, so just stay in your house. Anybody that didn’t see you in December should rest.
5. Go back to your parents’ house
What’s that saying again? There’s no place like home abi? Forget about being a bad bitch or tech bro, better bend down and wash the plates in the sink so you can see free food.
6. Travel with your sugar mummy/daddy
Two heads are better than one. Better answer that DM and head to Dubai to shake what your momma gave you on a yacht. At your own risk sha, because anything you see, just take it like that.
7. Dump your partner
Just tell them it’s you,not them. They won’t even question whether it was about SAPA since Valentine’s Day is still far away. You’re welcome.
8. Sell everything you own
Vanity upon vanity is vanity. That human hair and PS5 you’re looking at right now is three months of food. You better post it for the highest bidder and focus on surviving.
9. Host your own heist
What’s a little La Casa de Papel? all the money the government has been borrowing technically belongs to you.
10. Sleep
If all else fails, sleep. Is it in your dream somebody will be asking you, “Savings or current?”.
Parenting is tough work and no one can tell you what or what not to do when you have children. Except us. One of the things you can’t control as a parent is whether or not your child is going to disgrace you in public which is why we’ve come up with a list of things you can do if and when that happens.
1. Change your name.
Change your name so no one will associate you with that child.
2. Disgrace them first.
You get extra points when you disgrace them first. There’s nothing they’ll do that’ll take you by surprise since you’ve already done it and you know the blueprint.
3. Put them up for sale.
Make sure you sell them to the lowest bidder, so the person can experience a bit of what you have experienced. Make sure you sell them at a price you are willing to pay back for them.
4. Buy them oversize clothes to fit their wings.
Any child that tries to disgrace you in public has clearly grown wings and needs clothes that’ll be big enough to accommodate those wings. Suits are a more advisable option for children like that. They’ll fill into it and so will their wings.
5. Roll on the floor when you are out with them.
Don’t just roll on the floor, add a few tears too. You won’t only disgrace the child, you’ll confuse them too and make them understand what you go through when you are out with them.
6. Scream and beg strangers to pray for your child.
Make sure the strangers are also as confused and afraid as you are, so they can bring a cane and some holy water to help the child get their senses back.
7. Tell the child to try Jesus and not you.
Let the child know that Jesus forgives faster than you do and you won’t wait till the child is in heaven to pass your own judgment on them.
8. Announce that they’ve been disowned in every Nigerian newspaper.
Make sure you buy a lot of copies of the newspaper and share it with everyone that knows the child. Let the world know you are ready to correct your mistakes and focus on other positive things.
9. Give them their inheritance with a note.
Make sure the note says “We’ll meet at Jesus’ feet” so they know you are very serious.
Hearing your parents tell you they love you seems nice, but you sometimes need to work for their extra love, before they give it to other people. Here are a few perfect ways to get your Nigerian parents to love you more.
1. Get married
Nothing proves that you love your parents more than getting married and leaving their house. Taking your wahala off their shoulders is a premium example of how much you love them. They’ll love you more than you can imagine, once you leave their house.
2. Give them grandchildren
We don’t care if you pluck the grandchild or grandchildren off the tree, just find a way to give them babies. Nigerian babies love grandchildren more than anything. They might not love you as much as they’ll love your child, they’ll sha love you more than they previously did.
3. Know their passwords by heart
Nigerian parents were not designed to remember passwords, that’s just how God made them. They’ll give their last dime and all their love to you if you remember their passwords more than you remember your own name. It’s better you turn your heart into a password saving unit.
4. Help them fix their phones
Truly, all you need to do is help them fix their WhatsApp and you have won the ultimate prize of most loved. Sacrificing time out of your busy day to teach them how to create a WhatsApp group is God-level love. If they still don’t love you after this, it means they have no intention of loving you.
5. Move out of their house
Nigerian parents are the real definition of ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’. They always behave as though your presence annoys them. Move out of the house for them, so they can love you more.
6. Get a high paying job
Whatever you do is entirely up to you. Just make sure you get a job that’ll make you rich enough to get respected and loved. Nigerian parents love money more than anything, and they’ll love you once you have money.
For all the people who missed the Big Brother finale last night, there was only one winner!
Efe won the prize money of N25 million as well as a brand new Kia Sorento.
Okay he wasn’t the only one who one. Bisola was the 1st runner up and also won a trip to New York to attend a United Nations event, courtesy of ONE Campaign
And Tboss, who came 3rd, won a N500,000 gift card from Pay Porte for winning most of the Arena Games
To understand the import of the @dino_melaye Anthem,for those who do not understand the Yoruba language,we have helped with some subtitle. pic.twitter.com/J9nTAodcGc
Nigeria is currently experiencing a terrible Cerebro Spinal Meningitis (CMS) outbreak, with about 328 people killed already. We told you about the signs and symptoms here.
But Abdulaziz Yari, the Zamfara State Governor, thinks the outbreak is upon us because we’re all sinners
Zamfara State is the worst hit and has the highest number of casualties. When he was questioned about this, he blamed God instead. Read the full story here.
Apparently, this Governor has talked to God in a WhatsApp message and God has revealed the reason we’re suffering from CMS to him
You, when you realize most Nigerian politicians have low thinking capacity
Zamfara people, when they see their governor
Other saner governors be like:
Meanwhile, the Ministry of Health has said there’s no such thing and CMS is not spiritual
Meningitis is a medical emergency not spiritual. Report any sign to the nearest health facility. FMoH Advisory 👇https://t.co/l27FKoP8kT
— Federal Ministry of Health, NIGERIA (@Fmohnigeria) April 4, 2017
We true foodies know we ought to travel more, and indeed one day we shall. Top on our list of places to try is Calabar- Cross Rivers State- and it really should be top of your list too! These are some of the foods Calabar people rave about (we have this on good authority, mind you).
Of course, Edikang Ikong is first on the list
No, it’s not efo riro, and yes, the preparation is very different.
Apparently, it tastes better than efo riro
Another must eat: Editan
What can we say? Efiks loooove their veggies!
Abak Atama
It’s not exactly Banga soup, although the preparations are quite similar. Atama leaves are quite magical, we hear.
Abak Nmong Nmong
For this post, we’ve saved the best for last – Epang Nkukwo
Some people pronounce this as “Epangkwokwo” as well.
We must warn you, this cocoyam-based meal requires quite a bit of work
But this champ pulled it off
Watch the entire video here to see how it’s done
For even more great cooking recipes from all over Nigeria, check out Delicious Naija, from Maggi Nigeria
Make sure to look out for the ‘Delicious Naija’ show at these times on your TV:
7:30 pm, Friday on Arewa24, 7:30 pm, Saturday on Africa Magic (Family) ,5 pm, Sunday on NTA,
OR just watch it online right now!
Every 90’s kid remembers this legendary Royco advert from the days of Superstory and ThisLife
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVTYxBd-cpo
We all loved it, but it turns out we’d been sitting on meme material for almost a decade and we didn’t know. Now, the husband has turned into a huge curve-meme.
1. When someone is bringing their rubbish towards you
2. When telcos start with their caller tunes wahala
Traditionally, we Nigerians have always seen mental health as something that shouldn’t be discussed openly, and for men, it’s an issue ‘society’ forbids them to even acknowledge because it’s not ‘manly’.
So a lot of people-men and women- continue to live with depression and severe stress because they can’ talk about their feelings
Recently, Allwell Orji, a medical doctor, committed suicide by jumping into the Lagos lagoon from the 3rd Mainland Bridge. There are speculations he may have been depressed.
But when this Twitter user posted about her brother being depressed, people reacted quite differently
The siblings are orphans and her brother was having a terrible birthday because he couldn’t celebrate
South African artist and graphics designer, Tumi Sibambo, is making awesome pictures of people into drawings. Until the 31st of March, he’s making these kinds of portraits for his ‘Queen’s Crown’ collection for women. To have yours done from any part of Africa, just upload your photos on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and tag #SibamboPortraitsQC
1. This one he did for Women’s Day
2. This one celebrating the beauty of family
3. This beautiful portrait of Mahlalia, a South African gospel singer
4. A lovely portrait of Miriam Makeba
5. Aww, such a lovely baby
6. This one about the horrible, xenophobic killings in South Africa
Bolly is basically one of the cool kids of Nigerian Twitter but what makes him really cool is, he’s effortlessly funny and is also part of the Batta Box team.
Africans have the best sense of humour, don’t even argue! French-speaking comedian, Oscarine Mbikulu, popularly known as Tataosca, is proof. She makes the funniest videos ever and here are some of them:
On account of the 2016 break out of Lassa fever, certain preventive measures have been passed across to Nigerians to help control the spread of the virus.
Not less than 63 Nigerian lives have been claimed by the virus since its recent breakout.
The Mastomy rat is said to be the sole carrier of the Lassa virus.
Because ingestion of food contaminated by these rats aids transmission of the Lassa virus disease, the Chairman of Rivers state branch of the Nigerian Medical Association (NMA), Furo Green advised Nigerians against drinking garri.
And as always, Nigerians will find hilarity in every situation. This man shared his safe way to drink garri on his Facebook page.
I have discovered a way to drink Garri this Lassa season.
1. Put the garri in a dry frying pan/pot.
2. Place it on the fire and allow it to fry for 10mins so that the heat will kill the Lassa virus.
3. Pour the garri out on a wide tray & allow it to get cold. Make sure ur eyes are on the garri to avoid the virus coming back cos if it does hmmmm, e go worse pass the 1st tym oh.
4. Put the garri on a plate and add the necessary (sugar, salt, glucose, powder, honey, milk, Milo, groundnut, aki, water etc). This is strictly base on ur choice but if u want to add all, no problem.
Then ur delicious and tasty drinking garri is ready for consumption…
Thank me later…
#LassaFever_Gbakwa_Oku ?
Nigeria is currently experiencing a terrible Cerebro Spinal Meningitis (CMS) outbreak, with about 328 people killed already. We told you about the signs and symptoms here.
Traditionally, we Nigerians have always seen mental health as something that shouldn’t be discussed openly, and for men, it’s an issue ‘society’ forbids them to even acknowledge because it’s not ‘manly’.
