Everyone has a team they’re supporting in the 2022 World Cup, and this quiz can guess who you’re supporting.
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We Ranked Our Favourite Nigerian Football Jerseys
Last week, Nike released Nigeria’s 2022 football kit. Even though we won’t participate in the World Cup later this year, we sha have a really nice jersey we can wear.
Because Nigeria has had so many beautiful jerseys over the years, I decided to rank the most popular ones.
What do you think?
10. 2002, World Cup
We didn’t win one single game in the group stage of the 2002 World Cup, and it’s because of this jersey. They just went to find neon material and threw it on our boys. Please, NFF and Nike, don’t let this happen again.
9. 2014, World Cup
They rushed to make this jersey, and there’s nothing anyone can tell me. We don’t even have anything to say about it. It’s just… not fine.
8. 2010, World Cup
Although this jersey isn’t terrible, it’s too basic. It looks like a pre-match warm up kit. Look at the collar. Just there. Adidas can’t be making our own Papilo look like this, please.
7. 1992, AFCON
1992 was not a World Cup year, but we still got this absolute gem of a jersey. The designers weren’t scared to switch things up by making it asymmetric, and I absolutely respect that. If not that Ghana knocked us out of AFCON in the semi-finals, shebi we would’ve used it to carry the trophy. At least, we have better jollof rice.
6. 1998, World Cup
I don’t like that this jersey is this low on the list. I actually really like it. It’s just that things really pick up from here. 1998 was also a very memorable World Cup for Nigerians. We beat Spain and finished top of our group. Legendary.
5. 2022
We didn’t make World Cup this year, but at least, we have this super fire jersey with ankara-like patterns that we can wear for owambes. A lot is happening on it, but that’s what makes it so beautiful. I can’t wait to buy one.
4. 2018, World Cup
This is probably our most purchased and talked about jersey ever. I got one. Everyone should get one. It’s just *chef kiss*.
3. 2020
Unpopular opinion, but this jersey is much better than 2018’s. It has the same chuku chuku motif, but this one is much better executed. I also really like the colours and the placement of the badge.
2. 1994, World Cup
Nigeria participated in the World Cup for the first time in 1994, and what a way to announce ourselves. I had a difficult time choosing between the home and away jersey, but inevitably chose the away because how can something be so perfect? It’s proper retro.
1. 1996, AFCON
I’ve seen beauty before, but this is a discovery. No flaws. Everything perfect. 10/10. Look at the neck na. We didn’t go to AFCON that year, but at least, we had the best jersey.
Also Read: How to Pass Off as a Football Fan
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How to Pass Off as a Football Fan
We don’t know what your reasons are, but if you’re reading this, you want to impress someone with your football knowledge.
There’s no judgement here. We understand the struggle. Here’s how to disguise if football just isn’t your thing.
Get familiar with the different games
You don’t want to be the one asking, “Is this a World Cup qualifier game?” when the whole world and your grandmother know it’s the FIFA World Cup final game.
Know the slangs
Then make sure to sprinkle them into your conversations.
Your boss: “How was your weekend?”
You: “I watched the top goals by my Idolo. He’s the GOAT!”
Choose a club
Just pick any club that has a reasonably good reputation and post about them once in a while. For international tournaments like the World Cup, just stick to Nigeria until they disgrace you.
Get a jersey
You don’t even need to get an original one. Visit any bend-down-select place, pick one jersey, wash it and wear it everywhere.
Twitter is your friend
There’ll always be hot takes on the TL whenever a match occurs. Pick one that everyone agrees with, retweet and then post it on your WhatsApp status.
Whatever you do, avoid viewing centres
Unless you want to be exposed as the fraud you are, avoid any gathering of hard-core football fans. You’ll be disgraced.
Participate in Coca-Cola’s Believe and Win Promo so you can win a trip to the 2022 FIFA World Cup
No one can doubt your fanship when you post your Qatar pictures.
Coca-Cola is an official partner of the 2022 Qatar FIFA World Cup and has launched a consumer-reward campaign for football fans.
Just buy any white-capped Coca-Cola product, check under the cap for the code, and dial *8014*1*CODE# to participate for free. Some lucky consumers will even witness the World Cup live in Qatar.
Check out the official announcement on YouTube and @cocacola_ng for more information.
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These 10 Pictures Will Make Any Arsenal Fan Cry
Hi there, Arsenal fan. If you think we’re trying to make you nostalgic, you’re right. If you also think we’re trying to make you cry because your club is now in shambles, you’re also right.
Just enjoy this throwback to the times when Arsenal used to be lit.
Arsenal goes 49 league games unbeaten in the 2003/2004 season
Arsenal beats Madrid at the Bernabeu Stadium in 2006
No English club had ever done this.
Arsenal plays against Barcelona in the Champions League final in 2006.
Only God knows when we’ll see this happen again.
They still lost anyway, but that’s not the point.
Bergkamp scores the goal of the season in 1997
Thierry Henry helps Arsenal to a 5 – 1 win against Inter Milan in 2003
Where did all the good times go?
RELATED: Nigerians, Here’s What the Football Club You Support Says About You
Arsenal wins the FA Cup final against Liverpool in 1971
Arsenal wins the “Battle of Old Trafford” in September 2003
Here’s Arsenal winning the league right at the death in 1989.
They hadn’t won a league title in 18 years prior.
Narrator: “and downhill they go from here”
The Invincibles of 2003/2004
Just try and hold back the tears, okay?
Appointing Arsene Wenger as Manager in 1996
Gunners will deny their love for this man but deep down, they know they want him back.
NEXT READ: The 6 Stages of Getting Dribbled in Football
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QUIZ: You Have 2 Minutes To Unscramble These Footballer Names
Do you really watch football or you’re one of the frauds that only watch the highlights? Can you prove yourself? Unscramble the names of these players in 2 minutes if you’re so sure.
Questions
This is a question
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Does Your Partner Love Football More Than You?
If your love interest is a hard-core football fan, we’re sure you’ve considered this yourself already — do they actually love you as much as they love football?
Stop wasting time thinking about “what-ifs”, and let these signs tell you for sure.
They forget anniversaries, but not their GOAT’s birthday
Your boo: “I’m sorry I forgot our one-week anniversary.”
Also your boo: “Messi’s birthday is in 312 days!”
They love posting about their favourite club and players
But ask them to post you, and you’ll hear, “Babe, I’m protecting you from the world.”
They wear their club’s jerseys
But will they wear an outfit that has your face on it? Heck no.
They support Arsenal or Manchester United
Do you know the level of love and commitment required to support these clubs? No space in their heart to love you again.
They argue about football
Have you seen where fans argue about football? Does your partner display that same passion with you? You have your answer.
They cry when their team loses
Tell them, “It’s just a game,” and see if they won’t dump you in a heartbeat.
No date nights during Premier League
Just forget about it.
But wait
What if people could actually get rewarded for loving football? And no, we’re not talking about placing bets.
Join the Syarpa Fantasy Premier League and stand a chance to win fantastic cash prizes in this Premier League Season.
All you need to do:
- Be a registered GetSyarpa user and join the Syarpa FPL.
- Compete with other users and earn cash prizes.
- Support your favourite clubs all the way.
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Things We’re Tired of Hearing From People Who Don’t Watch Football
Who’s wearing red? Where is Messi? Is that not offside? Nobody asks more questions about football than the people who don’t really watch the sport. Answering their questions is not going to make them start watching it either, so if they stress you, stress them back by giving them these answers.
Who’s wearing red?
The Babalawos my dear, they’re trying to use juju to control the ball.
Is it a friendly match?
No o. Can’t you see that the players have off shirt and are punching one another?
Is this not Chelsea playing?
No actually. It’s Enyimba o. They came to play a friendly match in the Premier League
Which one is Messi?
He’s the one wearing agbada with a cape behind it na.
Why is Messi not in Barcelona again?
Father lord. Where do I start from?
How many offsides are allowed in football?
I have no words for you.
I’m a die-hard Manchester United Fan
Someone who hasn’t watched football since 2010.
ALSO READ: All the Football Twitter Slangs You’ll See in the Coming Months, Explained
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17 Pictures You Can Relate to if You’re a Manchester United Fan
If you support Manchester United, every day for you is a fight against the club’s attempt to ruin your mood. But most times, they succeed.
If you’re a Manchester United fan, you can definitely relate to these pictures.
When there’s a match coming up and you just can’t wait for it to start
You’ve promised your haters that they’ll cry and you can’t wait to shame them
You even set a ₦10,000 bet with a friend on the outcome of the match
You remind them that Ronaldo is the GOAT and he’ll always turn up
You’re posting status updates with #GGMU every five minutes.
The match starts and you’re hyping up your players
One of your team’s players gets an early goal in
And you’re screaming “siuuu!” because your team is nobody’s mate.
Then Ronaldo gets substituted…
Because the coach wants to bring in someone else.
It starts looking like all the players suddenly switched off
Because why are they spreading their legs in the box?
RELATED: QUIZ: Can We Guess the Football Club You Support?
The opponents equalise
But you shrug it off because your boys just can’t flop.
The second goal comes in and you become oddly quiet
…And then the third
Then, one minute to the end of the match opponents score another one
Then the match ends right after and you’re in tears, like last week and the week before.
You start ignoring all the WhatsApp notifications from the people you boasted to
While trying to think of someone to blame.
You want to point fingers at the coach…
But you praised the coach before the match started.
When you see your friend and they ask you for their money
When you think about all the pepper Manchester United has shown you
But then you shrug it off and move on
Because at least you’re not an Arsenal fan.
READ THIS NEXT: 6 Reasons You Should Date an Arsenal Fan
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All the Football Twitter Slangs You’ll See in the Coming Months, Explained
No, this isn’t like Kunle’s hilarious fake list of Gen-Z acronyms and their meanings.
Football is back and that means you’ll be seeing some words you don’t understand on the TL. Let’s help you understand them.
1. W or Dub:
Simple. This means to win. Whether it’s a “W” tweet or a “W” player or a “dub you can see from 100 miles away”, a W or dub is generally a great thing.
2. Idolo
This just means “idol”. If you rate a footballer, feel free to call them idolo. But don’t overuse this term. It’s only for the real legends.
3. Clear
This one just shows that one thing or person is much better than the other. So if you see a tweet like, “Messi is clear of Penaldo”, it means the person thinks Messi is better than Ronaldo.
4. Warra
This simply means “what a…”, but in a sarcastic, mocking way. So if I, as an Arsenal fan, mocks a Chelsea fan for failing to sign good players this transfer window, they can just reply by saying, “Warra Champions League qualification for you”, and it would hurt me because my team didn’t qualify for the Champions League.
5. FT
This just means football Twitter.
6. L
This is an abbreviation for “loss”. If someone tells you to hold an L, it means your team has lost, or you lost an argument on the timeline.
7. GOAT
Greatest of All Time. There is only one. But nobody really knows who it is. I do, though.
8. Bodied
To “body” someone is to win against them in an argument, while utterly embarrassing them. So if someone gives a snarky reply to a tweet and it goes viral, it means they bodied the person. And the tweets are usually phrased like, “Bodied the virgin” just for extra violence.
9. Aired
“Aired” just means someone ghosted the other person instead of replying to them.
10. Ratioed
You didn’t know this famous slang came from Football Twitter? Do better. To “ratio” someone is to get more likes and retweets (RTs) when you reply or quote their tweets. Ratio-ing someone is a dub; getting ratioed is an L. Get it?
11. YKB/YDKB
Slangs for “you know ball” and “you don’t know ball”.
12. Nabbed
This means “stolen”. It’s when bigger accounts steal a tweet or tweet idea from a smaller account and gets more likes and RTs.
13. Merchant
Someone, or a team, who does something repeatedly. For example, Ronaldo has been an “L merchant” this summer because he’s been offering himself to clubs and nobody wants to sign him. Or Luis Diaz is a “pace merchant” because all he does is run.
14. Here we go
Coined by famed football journalist and transfers king Fabrizio Romano, this is the phrase for when a transfer deal is successfully completed — not officially announced by the club, but confirmed by reputable sports journalists.
15. Fraud
If someone is a fraud, it means they’ve tricked the entire world to think they’re great when they’re actually mid (i.e: average). A great example is Eden Hazard.
Also read: 14 Slangs You’ll Hear at Every Nigerian Street Football Field
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Football Season Resumes in 9 Days. Here’s All the Things You Can Do for Your Boyfriend
In case you haven’t heard — which is already a red flag — football is coming back on August 5 2022. Your boyfriend is primed and ready to spend his entire weekend screaming in front of his TV, and honestly, we’re excited for him.
How can you, as a person who loves him, make his life easier for the next nine months? Start here.
Buy him his team’s 2023 jersey
You should have already done this by now, but if you haven’t, it’s not too late; you still have a few days. He can’t be wearing regular clothes — or worse still — last season’s jersey to watch the new season’s matches. No way. That man has to enter the season wearing his team’s new jersey. Make it happen, queen. Not every time singlet and boxers.
Stock his fridge with beer and fried chicken
You know what goes well with football? Beer. Buy beer and spicy chicken wings for that man and see if his love for you won’t grow.
Renew his cable subscription
Times are tough. Your king can’t be running around looking for who has cable subscription or streaming links when it’s time to watch a game. Surprise him with by reneweing his subscription every month from August 2022 to May 2023. Walahi, he’ll marry you.
Also read: The 6 Stages of Getting Dribbled in Football
Don’t watch BBNaija when football is on
It’s not when Arsenal is playing that you’ll start looking for the remote to see what Whitemoney and Zinoleesky are doing? None of that, please. Let’s not fight
Leave him alone on weekends
Simple. Once it’s 4 p.m. on Friday, just leave him alone. He will be available again the following Tuesday. Your relationship can continue from there.
Don’t ask him who is wearing red
If you want to know who is playing, Google is your friend. Here’s all you need to know: it’s Arsenal that’s wearing read and losing. Please, none of the usual endless questioning. He already has enough stress in his life.
Move out
If you cannot follow the points above, just move out. There’s no point being a pest. Be his peace. Remember?
Break up with him
Yes. He may be heartbroken when he receives the news. But when you tell him the reason, he’ll appreciate you. Trust me. I’ve tried and tested this.
Take the quiz: Can We Guess The Football Club You Support?
