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Hosting a global event like the World Cup is a logistics nightmare. We’re talking millions of football enthusiasts storming the host country to celebrate their favourite sport.
The question is, could Nigeria ever? We attempted something similar with the U-17 FIFA World Cup in 2009, but the World Cup is an entirely different game. Nigerians know this too. That’s why they’ve had the most hilarious responses to an X user’s simple question: “What if Nigeria hosts a World Cup?”
We compiled the most hilarious responses that’ll have you going from “God, abeg” to “Wetin be this?”
Nigeria’s female national team, the Super Falcons, don’t have it easy with the Nigerian Football Federation (NFF). In 2019, the players were owed allowances and bonuses until they threatened a protest. The same thing happened in July 2023, when the Falcons planned to boycott the first match at Australia and New Zealand’s 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup. Now, they’re back home since their exit from the competition, and their battle hasn’t ended.
Super Falcons (Twitter)
On August 7, 2023, the Super Falcons lost 4-2 to England after a penalty shoot-out during the “round of 16” stage. But one would expect the team to be warmly welcomed back home after their impressive performance, appreciated for their patriotism and encouraged to go harder next time. No. They were met with unfulfilled promises, unpaid salaries and general mistreatment.
Here’s exactly what we know about this disappointing situation.
Their World Cup 2023 exit
The Nigerian-based players returned home on August 10. The diaspora players, and their foreign coach, Randy Waldrum, reportedly left the team a few hours after they were disqualified from the tournament on August 7.
During an interview with The Guardian, the Super Falcons’ forward player, Ifeoma Onumonu, lamented about the lack of utilities in the Nigerian camp. Not only were their basic living conditions subpar, according to her, they even had to share beds. She added that their joy about the great resources of England is their sorrow at home.
No camp amenities
Back in Nigeria, the Super Falcons allegedly don’t have gyms or recovery facilities. According to Ifeoma’s statement, the training fields are ill-maintained, rocks and bumpy grass everywhere. If you kick the ball towards the goal post, don’t be surprised if it lands at the throw-in line.
They haven’t seen their 2023 World Cup prize money
A 2023 payment policy change stipulated that the World Cup prize money should be sent to the players without a third party. But the chair of the Nigerian Women’s Football League (NWFL), Aisha Folade, still paid the players through the NFF. The Falcons, who are entitled to $60,000 each after entering the round of 16, are yet to receive their money.
Old dues are unpaid too
On the Whistle podcast in July 2023, Coach Randy Waldrum revealed that the NFF still owes him his salary for seven months, after they made some outstanding payments that month. He also said that there are players who haven’t received a dime in two years.
FIFPro backs Super Falcons
On August 8, the global players’ union known as FIFPro promised to work with the players to make sure their rights are respected and outstanding payments for salary, bonuses, camp allowances and expenses are made.
Ifeoma Onumonu opened up that the Super Falcons aren’t the only ones going through it. In August 2022, the Super Falconets slept at the Istanbul Airport for 24 hours after they were eliminated from the 2022 Under-20 Women’s World Cup. Meanwhile the men’s national team, Super Eagles, have less to complain about besides the exclusion of our local players.
NFF said it’ll pay the players “soon”
That FIFPro pressure must be bussing on the Nigerian Football Federation (NFF). On August 15, the Federation’s president, Ibrahim Gusau, said they will pay the Super Falcons soon. No date or how soon. But he remembered to gaslight the players for waiting two years to speak out.
Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
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In 2018, the pro gamer on this week’s #NairaLife won the first-ever FIFA competition he played. It paid ₦100k. Since then, he’s represented Nigeria in Côte d’Ivoire and Israel, and has made up to ₦5m in one day playing FIFA.
When did you start playing video games?
Omo, I’ve been gaming since primary school. I’m the last born, and I have two older brothers who had the PS1 and PS2 when they came out, so we were always playing games at home. There was Street Fighter, Pro Evolution Soccer, FIFA, Lord of the Rings, Wrestling and so much more.
Obviously, I started out chopping Ls from my brothers, but I got better as I grew older because I played a lot.
Let me guess: Your parents complained?
Ah, they did. I made sure I played every game until I was able to beat every difficulty level. So I started with the easiest and kept playing against the computer until I could defeat the most difficult level.
As you can imagine, it required a lot of playing, and my parents didn’t like it. In primary school, when exams were approaching, they seized the consoles so I could focus on reading. When I got into secondary school in 2008, they sent me to a boarding house, and sometimes seized the games when I was home on holiday because I wasn’t “socialising”.
I didn’t ask about your earliest memory of money
Throughout boarding school, I got ₦1,500 per month to spend at the tuck shop.
When did you start playing competitively?
2014. University —
Wait, what did you study?
Electrical and electronics engineering. I wanted to study computer science because I liked games and computers, but my dad thought engineering was broader and would give me more opportunities, so I studied that instead.
What I actually wanted to be was a footballer.
But…
There aren’t enough opportunities for young people who want to be footballers in Nigeria to make it. I played for my primary and secondary school, and played a lot of football in university. I even joined a semi-professional football team outside school to better my chances. But someone on the team tried to scam me because he thought I was an omo butter who just had money to give away. Like many other young Nigerian boys, the dream sha faded away gradually.
I feel you. Back to 2014
Many guys in university had games on their computers. I did too. Naturally, we started playing FIFA against one another, and it was obvious I was much better than most people. When you beat plenty people on FIFA, you become the person everyone who thinks they’re good wants to challenge, so I quickly became popular on campus. People from different hostels came to face me. I lost a few games, but nobody ever consistently beat me. If you beat me once, I’d beat you back multiple times.
During tradefairs, we did betting games. Everyone in a group of 16 people would drop ₦1k and the winner would take all. I won plenty times, and me and my guys just used the money to flex. That’s just how things were until I won my first ₦100k in 2018.
Tell me about it
May 26, 2018, the day of the Champions League final. I can never forget. There was a competition somewhere in Lekki that my friend told me about. It was free to register and the winner out of 64 people would get ₦100k. I was scared to register because I didn’t believe in myself like that, but my friend persuaded me.
The competition was played in knockout format: two people would face each other, the loser is out, and it keeps going like that until there are only two people left. I only had to play five games without losing. God, I was so happy when I won the money. For the first time, I considered myself world-class and decided I was going to play FIFA professionally.
Love it
I used the ₦100k to buy a PS4 so I could play better, and play online.
What about school?
I was on internship at an oil company during that period. The pay was ₦40k, the same amount as my monthly allowance in university, so it just felt normal.
That same year, I went for another competition in November. This one was more popular and had about 128 competitors who were all pro gamers. I paid ₦2k to register. I’m not making excuses o, but I know I didn’t play my best because of tension. I got knocked out at the round of 16.
You tried
LMAO, thanks. After I graduated in 2019, I went home, bought a router and started playing online so I could sharpen my skills. Then I heard about a company that organised gaming competitions and started going there. It was more competitive, so I didn’t win every time. I remember coming second at one big event, and I was interviewed by journalists, but there was no cash prize. I sha kept playing tournaments until I won a big one.
Which?
National qualifiers for an event in Côte d’Ivoire. I won to represent Nigeria.
Wow
Not just me sha. The second and third position from the competition also went to Côte d’Ivoire.
Did it come with money?
Nah, just an all-expense-paid trip.
How was the competition?
There were about eight countries, and almost 200 players. Other countries brought more than three players. Côte d’Ivoire had more than all countries combined. I finished in the final eight — quarter-finals.
How did that feel?
I felt bad because I dominated the game I lost, but somehow, I still lost. I knew I deserved at least a semi-final spot. It was also reassuring to get that far in the competition. Remember that tension I felt when I played pro gamers in Nigeria? Everything disappeared. I returned to Nigeria and started winning competitions. That same year, I won ₦100k, ₦50k, another ₦100k, another ₦50k and $1k.
What did your parents think about your gaming career?
They didn’t know much about it because I didn’t want them to. You know Nigerian parents. Even when I went to Côte d’Ivoire, I didn’t give them too much detail. They knew I was travelling, but it was just, “Oh, hope the people you’re going with are trustworthy. Be safe o.” It was only in December 2021, when I won big money, that I told them.
No spoilers, please
LMAO. From January to September 2020, I worked as a support engineer at an IT company for ₦30k monthly because of NYSC. Also in January, some company reached out to some of the best players in Lagos for an invitational where they paid us ₦20k per game, as a thank you for accepting their invitation. I played three games and won the competition. The prize for winning was ₦50k, so I made a total of ₦90k. I added ₦90k to it and bought an iPhone in February.
Most of 2020 was just online competitions because of COVID. I won many of them, but also came second and third sometimes. Late 2020 though, an annual LG gaming competition that takes place across different Nigerian states was held, and I won the Lagos one. The prize was an LG TV worth about ₦700k. I sold it for ₦680k.
Love it
In 2021, LG did a grand finale with the winners from all the states in the 2020 competition. I came second and won ₦500k while the winner won ₦1.5 million. I used the money to buy a PS5. I also interned at a fintech for a few months. Pay was ₦80k monthly.
Then in November, I represented Nigeria in Israel for the World Esports Championships.
Ehn?
There’s a yearly world tournament organised by the International Esports Federation, but because there were no qualifier games, they didn’t have anyone to represent Nigeria. So they just reached out to me.
How did you do in that one?
It wasn’t straight to knockouts. They first put us in groups, and then, if you qualified from your group, you got to play in the knockouts. In a group of four people, only two could qualify. Well, I didn’t qualify from my group, but I don’t feel bad about it because the two people who qualified went on to be winner and runner-up of the entire tournament.
Ah!
I sha got to travel and meet new people, and that’s what matters.
LMAO
In December, there was another competition. People flew in from places like Abuja to Lagos to play. One guy, a proper pro, even came from Dubai, so you can imagine the tension in the air.
In the quarter-finals, I faced the guy who came from Dubai, and that was by far the toughest game of the competition. It took one tiny mistake for me to beat him. The other two people I faced weren’t as tough, so I won the competition.
How much?
₦5.4m.
This is the one you told your parents about?
Yep. My dad started calling me “big boy”. He didn’t believe. I sha gave him and my mum ₦100k each as a token for their love.
Did anything happen in 2022?
This year, I’ve won two ₦500k competitions and another LG TV, which I sold for about ₦300k.
How much have you made from FIFA in your life?
I don’t have a specific figure, but it should be at least ₦15m. Apart from the competitions, there are one-on-one betting matches I play. Recently, I won ₦2m in one sitting because someone came and said they wanted to bet ₦500k per game. I won all four games. Over the years, there have been countless ₦100k betting games too.
Have you ever lost a bet?
Just one game. It was online. I don’t like playing online because of lags, and I let the guy know. Like I predicted, network was bad and he beat me, so I just paid him his ₦20k and didn’t play further.
Any future plans?
I want to take my career to the next level. I’ve won in Nigeria so many times that when I show up at a competition, people say stuff like, “Oya, give him the money. He has already won.” Many excellent players in Nigeria challenge me, but I want to take things to the next level.
Recently, FIFA made Nigeria eligible for the FIFA Global Series (FGS), so I’m looking to qualify for it. If I do, my rank will go higher and I’ll eventually be eligible to play in official FIFA competitions. So I’ve bought 5G internet, and I’m grinding to get better. I also live stream my games.
Recently, many organisations have been working to make the gaming ecosystem in Nigeria much bigger and better. Some Google-backed companies organise competitions, and the cash prizes are getting bigger. So even though I’m trying to go global, it’s still a great time to be a gamer in Nigeria.
What’s one thing you want but can’t afford right now?
To move abroad, so I can participate in the FGS. Even though it’s coming to Nigeria, I know internet lags would probably happen because the closest FIFA server to us is in Spain. Being in Europe gives an advantage.
What are your finances like right now?
I have like ₦1.2m in savings, $200 in forex trading and $500 in crypto.
Where did the ₦5.4m go?
I don’t keep all the money I win o. I have to settle my guys. I probably keep about 60% of whatever money I win. But also, I’ve bought some stuff this year.
I got a gaming chair for less than ₦100k, and I’m pretty sure I’ve spent nothing less than ₦500k partying and drinking this year.
What do you spend money on in a month?
What’s your financial happiness on a 1-10 scale?
It’s like 7. I have money I can use to get whatever I want at any point in time, and I don’t have to be in an office. I just make money playing FIFA. That’s amazing.
What if FIFA doesn’t work?
I’m sure it will, but I’m also learning how to program just so I have an extra skill.
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There’s an unmissably distinct pain you feel somewhere between your throat and chest when someone embarrasses you on FIFA. It’s like they’re stripping away your dignity. Even when you’re just playing casually indoors, it hurts, talkless of when you’re playing competitively in public where everyone can laugh at you.
If someone you consider a friend brushes you very badly on FIFA, you absolutely have to do everything on this list.
Just start fighting him
Right there and then, the fight has to happen. Once the score margin passes five goals, just drop your pad and look for the nearest bottle to break on his head. A real friend doesn’t subject his friend to public ridicule. That man is your enemy, and you must treat him as such.
Sleep with his babe
You came to Zikoko for advice and didn’t think you’d see this? You’re a joker. “Revenge is best served with strokes in the bedroom”, or whatever Mary Slessor said. The number of rounds you should go is the number of times he beat you.
Steal his console
Shebi it’s because he has time to be playing games all the time, that’s why he knows all the buttons to press. No problem. That his PS5, steal it and sell it to someone in Computer Village.
Insult his father
No time for petty nonsense. No time for, “Bro, why did you beat me like that now?” Over your dead body. Go straight for the jugular. If his father is dead, even better. “You dey win for FIFA? No problem. At least, I still get papa.” This one might even lead to the fight. We love it.
Somebody took his time to embarrass you like this, and you think destroying his relationship with his family is going too far? Nope. That way, his mother will love you even more.
Give excuses
“My eye was closing by itself”. “The controller is bad”. “My dog just died”. Anything. Just give excuses. You can’t go down like that.
Hear us out… Just get good
Practice makes perfect. Just keep letting them pipe you. That’s how you get good.
Picture this: You’re at a house party, meeting someone for the first time. There’s FIFA, and your guy who invited you says something like, “Ah Dayo, this is the guy I told you about. He’s really good at FIFA. He’ll beat you.” You look at the guy. He looks at you. You say, “Oya now, make we play.” Fifteen minutes later, everyone is on the floor laughing because the guy has spelt your full government name.
No one ever forgets that till the day you die, and even after.
How can you avoid a situation like that? How can you recognise someone that’s about to use FIFA to embarrass you? Let’s get into it.
1. They say something like, “I no too sabi like that”
Why do men lie? If you’re about to play someone on FIFA and they say they’re not good, just drop pad and start going to your house. But if you continue, anything your eyes see, take it like that o.
2. They use tactical defending
When you start doing your controller settings and you see them choose tactical defending instead of legacy defending, just start making excuses that you need to be somewhere else. What happened to holding “X” to mark? Ehn?
3. They wait for you to pick your team, then choose a lower team
These are the truly wicked people. They’ll wait for you to select your team and then intentionally choose a lower ranked team. I’ve once played someone that saw me pick Real Madrid and decided to use Girona. 5-1. He beat me 5-1!
But that was years ago. He can’t play me now. I’ll spell his name.
5. They either skip celebrations or do custom celebrations
It’s either they skip celebrations or do one of those annoying celebrations when they score. Those people are proper demons.
6. They take their time to set tactics and roles.
You see those people that take time to set roles and tactics instead of just jumping from formations straight into the game? Fear them. They will embarass you.
Playing FIFA is fun. Or at least, it’s supposed to be. But FIFA can quickly go from being a fun activity with your friends to one where you don’t even know the words to say.
If you talk too much after someone beats you, It’ll be because you’re trying to explain the pain away. If you don’t say anything, you’re trying not to cry.
Either way, there is pain.
If the person who just humiliated you is the devil, they’ll try to add insult to you injuries. Here are some of the things they might do:
1. Make videos
They’ll start trying to record the screen to show the scores and then your face while running commentaries and laughing in the background. If you’re used to this, you already know to cancel the results screen once it comes up at the end of the game. You can’t risk your reputation on Obasanjo’s internet.
2. Give hugs
After a FIFA game, you definitely do not want a hug from the person who just whooped your ass. You don’t even want them to touch you in the first place. If you start trying to hug or put your arms around someone after beating them on FIFA, you’re the devil.
3. Show concern
These people will start showing concern and asking questions like “Oh is everything okay?” “Do you want to switch pads?”. “Can you see well?” “Is the camera angle bad?” Run away from these people. They only want to humiliate you more and more. If you fall for their trap, they’ll just beat you again.
4. Call other people
These people are not the type to keep a secret. They’ll start calling other people to come and see the scores and the goals, especially if they’re world-class goals. Just know you are finished
5. Watch replays
Imagine conceding 7 goals in one game and the person scoring those goals is watching replays from all 5 angles from every goal. You’ll just be saying “Press X now”
6. Do Iconic celebrations
If you hear someone talking about all the FIFA celebrations they can do before the game, you should probably not play against them. They’ll score and have their player do annoying celebrations like dab or do some dance. Devils.
Not long after they were placed at the 61st position, the team dropped nine places and are now behind countries such as Uganda and Benin Republic at the 70th position.
In spite of this, African countries such as Algeria, Cote D’Ivoire and Ghana were among the top 40 teams in the world, holding the 32nd, 35th and 36th positions respectively.
Considering how great the Super Eagles were in the past, this ranking shows how poor the team’s performance has been recently.
Something should be done about this because most of these players perform brilliantly in their international teams.
We hope the sports ministry looks into this so the Super Eagles, who once achieved FIFA’s highest ranking and won several trophies, return to their past glory.
Following the corruption scandal that rocked the FIFA body in 2015, Senegalese Fatma Samoura, was appointed by FIFA president, Gianni Infantino, as the first female Secretary-General of the international football body.
She was appointed after the former Secretary-General, Jérôme Valcke, was banned for 12 years due to his involvement in the FIFA corruption wahala of 2015.
At 54, Fatma has worked for the UN since 1995 and served as a coordinator and resident representative of programs in six countries.
Although Fatma has not been involved in sports before this appointment, Gianni believes her experience in managing big organisations and human resources will help in reforming FIFA.
However, Fatma Samoura currently works as the resident representative for the United Nations Development Program in Nigeria where she oversees human resources and procurement while assessing political and economic trends in the country.
