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fashola | Zikoko!
  • APC’s Presidential Campaign Is In Full Swing. Where is Osinbajo?

    On October 19, 2022, the All Progressives Congress (APC) launched the Tinubu/Shettima Presidential Campaign Council (PCC). The council was chaired by President Muhammadu Buhari and included other APC heavyweights like the Kaduna State governor Nasir El-Rufai, Kano State governor Abdullahi Ganduje, Minister for Works Babatunde Fashola and the Senate President Ahmed Lawan.

    One big name was missing from the list. The vice president and former protege of Bola Ahmed Tinubu (BAT), Yemi Osinbajo. In June 2022, Osinbajo contested against BAT and 12 other aspirants at the APC Presidential primaries. BAT won with 1271 delegate votes ahead of Rotimi Amaechi, who finished second with 316 votes and Osinbajo, who finished a distant third with 235 votes.

    While the APC primaries were a coronation for BAT, Osinbajo didn’t leave without taking shots at his boss. Nigerians who followed the primaries will remember that speech.

    How have things played out since then?

    Campaigns have been going on since October, but neither Osinbajo nor several other contenders at the primaries have been seen with BAT on his campaign trail. Notable absentees include Rotimi Amaechi, Tunde Bakare and Rochas Okorocha. For Osinbajo, though, it has been a bit of a cat-and-mouse game.

    In October 2022, BAT speaking in Kano said he had forgiven Osinbajo which suggests there was some beef. However, both of them have subtly ignored each other. For instance, at the conclusion of the APC primaries, BAT saluted other APC members but skipped Osinbajo. He shook hands with him following the prompting of House Speaker Femi Gbajamiala.

    Osinbajo must have kept that snub in mind and retaliated a few months later. At the burial ceremony of the mother of Ondo State governor, Rotimi Akeredolu, high-profile APC politicians were in attendance, including BAT. Osinbajo also ”forgot” him when paying respect to the dignitaries before acknowledging his “error”.

    On December 21, 2022, Osinbajo visited BAT in Abuja. It was the first time outside public functions that the duo met since his defeat at the primaries. The meeting was described as not being a political one but in the spirit of the Christmas season.

    Regardless, Osinbajo has continued to stay away from BAT’s campaign.

    So where are Osinbajo and the others?

    Osinbajo has mostly been ‘focused’ on his work, travelling for functions and heading Nigeria’s energy transition plan. Anything to keep him far away from BAT.

    He’s not alone, either. No one has heard from Rotimi Amaechi, who was Buhari’s campaign director-general for the 2015 and 2019 elections. There are rumblings that Amaechi has not been “treated fairly” by BAT.

    Fashola seems more concerned with inspecting and delivering road projects rather than votes for BAT. 

    Okorocha who was excluded from the PCC said he has “subtle ways of campaigning” for the party.

    Bakare still believes he’ll be Buhari’s successor or “number 16” following his prediction that he’d be Nigeria’s 16th president. We don’t know how, as he scored zero votes at the APC primaries, but one can never say never.

  • 6 Crimes We Want Detective Fashola To Investigate

    Babatunde Fashola, former governor of Lagos State, now Minister of Works, Housing and Power (we should have known this guy had some serious powers; how else could he be the head of not one, not two, but three crucial ministries?) yesterday miraculously discovered a camera at the scene of the Lekki massacre, conveniently perched by a tollbooth. We must really serve a living God in this country because how else did this camcorder survive the chaos of the massacre, the burning of the toll booth, protesters, soldiers, police, at least two rainfalls and a LAWMA cleanup while sitting casually on a ledge beside a tollbooth? Glory to God.

    Nigeria is something of a circus. Every now and then, red-nosed clowns come out to tell us some inconceivable and incredible event has happened, usually when it relates to missing money. Since we’ve just discovered that we have our own super-sleuth (Sherlock Holmes and Batman are shaking right now), we humbly plead that he help us look into some of the ridiculous crimes that have been committed in Nigeria in the past.

    1. Who killed Funmilayo Ransome Kuti?

    Not a lot of people know this, but the Nigerian military, under General Olusegun Obasanjo, killed Nigeria’s foremost feminist, suffragist, campaigner and independence activist, Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti. (For some absurd reason, Nigerian history insists on remembering her only as Fela’s mother and the first woman to drive a car.) Anyway, in 1977, 1000 soldiers raided Fela’s Kalakuta Republic, trashed and burned the building and threw her from the first floor, after Fela released the legendary diss track Zombie. She died from her injuries. The military government constituted a shambolic panel of inquiry to find out who gave the order to the soldiers (sounds familiar?) The police panel opened their mouth to say that they found that an “unknown soldier” was responsible for the atrocities. We know it’s now a cold case but we hereby call on Inspector Babtunde Gadget Fashola to help us look into this case and get to the bottom of it.

    A Nigerian Finds Hard Truths — And Hope — In Netflix Series On Nigeria:  Video

    2. The snake with an appetite for cash

    In 2017, a clerk with the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board opened her mouth to tell us that a snake crawled into the JAMB office and swallowed exactly N36 million. It is still unclear whether the snake washed this meal down with palm wine or just upped and left after the crime. We hope Detective Fashola of CSI Lagos can use his skills to get to the bottom of this.

    3. The monkey that did Italian Job with N70 million

    Not to interfere with Inspector Fashola’s investigation, but it seems the animals in Nigeria have a penchant for money. A Nigerian senator, Shehu Sanni, also opened his mouth to tell us that a monkey did Italian Job in a farmhouse and made off with N70 million, swinging away into the sunset with its loot.

    Monkey Swinging through the Rain Forest | Magazine Articles | WWF

    4. Who killed Bola Ige?

    About 19 years ago, former Nigerian minister of Justice Bola Ige was murdered in his Ibadan residence. Accusing fingers pointed at a number of persons, such as former Osun State governor Iyiola Omisore. At the end of the day, nobody was found responsible for the murder, despite the confessional statement of a key suspect. Perhaps our camera-finder can visit the scene and find some cameras in Bola Ige’s house.

    5. Missing NNPC $16 billion

    Very reminiscent of the missing $2.8 billion oil money under petroleum minister Muhammadu Buhari in 1977, the NNPC came to tell us in 2016 that they didin know where they kept $16 billion of our money. We hereby implore Constable Raji to help us find our money with his super detective skills.

    6. Dasuki Gate

    Remember how Dasuki disappeared $2 billion meant for fighting Boko Haram in 2015? Can Super Fash help us find out the people who were behind the fraud? Thanks in advance.

    Read: 11 Ways Nigeria Tries To Kill You


    Hey there, Zikoko is introducing a new flagship called Love life on the 29th of October, 2020. It basically tells the love story of people from the perspective of all parties involved. So, whether it’s an entanglement, a situationship or a bad separation, we will be telling your story.
    If you and your (ex) partner are interested in featuring in Zikoko Love Life, register here.

  • QUIZ: What Will Fashola Find For You?

    Let’s be honest, not everyone has the special ability to be a world class detective. So if you’re searching for something, leave it to the experts.

    Take this quiz and we’ll tell you what (Detective) Fashola will find for you:

    11 Quizzes For The Lovers Among Us

    Are you a romantic at heart? Take these quizzes.

    Here’s a list of some of the other things we want the Lagos State Government to help us find: 12 Things We Need The Lagos State Government To Help Us “Mysteriously” Discover

  • Lagos has been rated the third most stressful city in the entire world.

    So if you live in Lagos and can still take out time to read this, you deserve a lot of accolades.

    Lagos has pushed a lot of us to the edge at one point or another. We might have adapted or in the process of adaptation.

    Whichever it is, here are some ways to know you have really had enough of this city.

    If you’ve ever been stuck in traffic that was literally on hold for hours, you would understand that patience is very important to maintain your sanity sometimes.

    See, there’s levels to traffic in Lagos.

    While you’re stuck in traffic, you turn on the radio just to hear some “wanna gonna”, while you strain your ears to catch up.

    Accents are the only things distributed free of charge in this city.

    But eating fantastic food at a low cost is an extreme sport in Lagos.

    In summary, overpriced food is a trademark

    If you happen to live on the island, rain is probably not your best friend. When it rains, it pours, and floods.

    Even you will be flooded. This is when Lagos island turns into an actual island

    Let’s focus on rent for a minute, from finding the house, to affording the bills, all I have to say is..

    ..In this Lagos if you want to enjoy, you just have to blow o

    And then if you don’t own a car, transportation is an extreme sport in Lagos. I want to talk about the cost but I also want to talk about the stress of even getting buses itself.

    Let’s just thank God we are alive

    If you have not had an encounter or know someone that has had an encounter or heard stories about Sarz officials, do you even leave in Lagos?

    If you see them, Just run.

    We always wonder why there are so many people in Lagos or why so many plan to move here? Like why is Lagos so overpopulated?

    But the real question is, why are you in Lagos? Just take a moment and ask yourself why you choose to continue suffering?
  • Is Japan Trying To Be Nigeria’s New Sugar Daddy?
    The Nigerian power situation has been especially bad this year, due to militants’ sabotaging gas pipelines up east of the country. In March, power generation capacity actually fell from 5000 MW to a miserable 1,580.6 MW. With the help of the Japanese government however, light, it seems is now at the end of this very dark tunnel.

    Brethren, it looks like our situation is finally about to change for the better! Minister of Power, Works and Housing, Babatunde Fashola is seen here inspecting the brand new solar-panels at Usman Dam, Abuja.

    The panels were donated by the Japanese government, through the Japan International Cooperation Agency, and are worth a whooping $9.7 million dollars!

    We think it’s time to actually fast and pray for this country called Japan, because these guys must be angels of the good Lord.

    The newly donated solar panels are expected to generate 1,496WH of power, and reduce electricity payment by N31.5 million per year.

    The implication is that you and I will now pay less for more electricity-we hope!

    To be honest, we are getting really tired of the NEPA wahala! Every time no light! We can’t charge phones, we can’t iron clothes for work and we can’t even watch Telemundo in peace!

    So we really hope this donation translates to tangible, visible results; a lot of companies are finding it difficult to continue operations in Nigeria because of the mess that is our power situation.

    We can’t wait for a time when we get to use clean, stable energy, and finally throw these annoyingly loud, pollution-inducing demons away.

  • Nigerians Came For Fashola, As NEPA Is Messing Up Big Time!
    It seems like the mercy period for the Minister of Power, Works and Housing is over. As the former governor of Lagos state, Babatunde Fashola impressed Nigerians and the rest of the world with his dedication and the transformation of Eko.
    So when he was handed the mantle of leadership of not one, not two, but three important ministries in the country, on November 11, 2015, Nigerians gave him some time to do his magic.

    But now, the believe is that he’s had more than enough time to have done something tangible.

    https://twitter.com/chidiajuzie/status/705812302415712257
    Power generation initially peaked at 5,074.7 megawatts, in February 2015 — which was a new record in the history of Nigeria’s electricity generation profile. But it has, since then, fallen to an all time low of 1,580.6MW megawatts.

    Electricity supply has gotten progressively worse since 2016 began and Nigerians cannot take it any longer.

    Nigerians took to Twitter to express their displeasure.

    Some wondered if he was even in office.

    Some were not surprised by the state of things, but by Fashola’s silence.

    Some speculate that Buhari had an agenda by giving Fashola more than he can chew.

    Some say that his positions should have been given to a more qualified somebody.

    Some have ended their long-term relationship with him.

    A few laughed at the situation.

    Some believe that he hasn’t been given enough money to do his work.

    Some have learnt a bitter truth – talk is cheap.

    https://twitter.com/solomonapenja/status/707848554639986688

    And that action is better than words.

    Fashola was given way too much responsiblity. He can’t joggle them all. But we sha still want our light.

    [zkk_poll post=23073 poll=content_block_standard_format_15]
  • Nigerians React To The Ministerial Inauguration

    The day has finally come! The day Nigerians have been eagerly waiting for since Buhari began his presidency.

    For months, Nigerians waited and lamented about Buhari’s non-existent ministerial list. Zikoko even created a mixtape about it.

    But today, Buhari revealed his 36 ministers to the world and Nigerian Twitter has a lot to say about it!

    Babatunde Fashola has been named Minister of Power, Works and Housing and here’s what Nigerians have to say about it:

    https://twitter.com/smugdisguise/status/664432027329011712
    https://twitter.com/Mistahsix4/status/664444694437478400
    https://twitter.com/kkdonjay/status/664416483087409152
    https://twitter.com/femiTRIPP/status/664412766736920576
    https://twitter.com/FoluShaw/status/664408930492133376

    There was even a prediction made in the month of April that turned out to be 70% correct.

    https://www.facebook.com/chrisogunlowo/posts/10153379061335579

    Some Nigerians believe Fashola holds one of the most important position in the country.

    https://twitter.com/Mistahsix4/status/664445067512422400
    https://twitter.com/AAABORODE/status/664431998052802560

    Others believe he could be our next president.

    Fashola’s appointment isn’t the only one Nigerians are talking about. The beloved Rotimi Amaechi has been named Minister of Transportation.

    And the people are divided in their opinions.

    https://twitter.com/femiTRIPP/status/664414234990780416
    https://twitter.com/Mubarak_Maishan/status/664444640117047296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
    ??? Rotimi Amaechi, we wish you God’s speed.

    While the other 34 ministers may not be trending on twitter, they are still as important. Here’s a full list of all 36 ministers.

    1. Chris Ngige – (Anambra) Minister of Labour & Employment 2. Kayode Fayemi- (Ekiti) Minister of Solid Minerals 3. Rotimi Amaechi – (Rivers) Minister of Transportation 4. Babatunde Fashola -(Lagos) Minister of Power, Works and Housing 5. Abdulrahman Dambazau- (Kano) Minister of Interior 6. Aisha Alhassan – (Taraba) Minister of Women Affairs 7. Ogbonaya Onu- (Ebonyi) Minister of Science and Technology 8. Kemi Adeosun – (Ogun) Minister of Finance 9. Abubakar Malami – (Kebbi) Minister of Justice 10. Sen Hadi Sirika – (Katsina) Minister of State, Aviation 11. Barr. Adebayo Shittu – (Oyo) Minister of Communication 12. Suleiman Adamu – (Jigawa) Minister of Water Resources 13. Solomon Dalong – (Plateau) Minister for Youth and Sports 14. Ibe Kachikwu – (Delta) Minister of State, Petroleum 15. Osagie Ehanire – (Edo) Minister of State, Health 16. Audu Ogbeh – (Benue) Minister of Agriculture 17. Udo Udo Udoma – (Akwa Ibom)  Minister of Budget & National Planning 18. Lai Mohammed – (Kwara) Minister of Information 19. Amina Mohammed – (Gombe) Minister of Environment 20. Ibrahim Usman Jibril – (Nasarawa) Minister of State, Environment 21. Khadija Bukar Abba Ibrahim- (Yobe) Minister of State, Foreign Affairs 22. Cladius Omoleye Daramola (Ondo) Minister of State, Niger Delta 23. Prof Anthony Onwuka (Imo) Minister of State,  Education 24. Geoffrey Onyema (Enugu) Minister of Foreign Affairs 25. Dan Ali (Zamfara) Minister of Defence 26. Barr James Ocholi (Kogi)  Minister of State For Labour 27. Zainab Ahmed (Kaduna) Minister of State Budget and National Planning 28. Okechukwu Enelamah (Abia) Trade, Investment & Industry 29. Muhammadu Bello (Adamawa) Minister of Federal Capital Territory 30. Mustapha Baba Shehuri (Bornu) Minister Of State, Power 31. Aisha Abubakar (Sokoto) Minister of State, Trade & Investment 32. Heineken Lokpobiri (Bayelsa) Minister of State, Agriculture 33. Adamu Adamu (Bauchi) Minister of Education 34. Isaac Adewole (Osun)  Minister of Health 35. Abubakar Bawa Bwari (Niger) Minister of State, Solid Minerals 36. Pastor Usani Uguru (Cross River) Minister of Niger Delta

    Congratulations to all 36 ministers! Oya start work quick quick!


  • Today has been a big day for Nigerians as the Ministerial Screening went live. Unless you have been living under a rock (or you are not on twitter) you  may have missed the trends #MinisterialList, #MinisterialScreening and #MinisterialConfirmation.

     

    But don’t worry! We are here to inform you.

    All day twitter has been singing the praises of Lagos Ex-Governor, Babatunde Fashola.

    CRGLT2RUcAE5v1B

    Fashola owned and schooled the senate today!

    https://twitter.com/smugdisguise/status/654268641958076416

    He turned the screening into the best lecture Nigerians have had in a while.

    He turned men into sheep.

    Caused young boys to insult their fathers.

    He turned senators into Hip-Hop stans.

    https://twitter.com/SirJourneyBravo/status/654272572171886596?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    And made Jonathan supporters cry.

    https://twitter.com/idomagirl/status/654264972680171520

    The streets are waiting for BRF’s mixtape to drop.

    https://twitter.com/seyitaylor/status/654263286939144192

    Fashola even inspired people to think before they speak.

    He made his intelligence known. In case you naively forgot!

    He dropped wise words on the senate.

    And spoke on violence against women.

    He spoke wisely on the debt and finance management issue.

    And made us think maybe he should be more than a minister.

    Lagosians even want him back as governor.

    https://twitter.com/manmustwack/status/654252518663417856

    People were willing to do anything to make sure they heard Fashola at the screening.

    Fashola of life!