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  • How to Survive Without Light in Nigeria

    We’re not sure who the national grid is in love with, but it has fallen again.  Now that you have to go about your daily activities without relying on electricity, we thought we might show you a few options to consider… 

    Use the sun and moon as light sources 

    Image by Freepik

    God didn’t give you the sun during the day and the moon at night for no reason. Remember when your parents said they read with the glow of moonlight in their younger days? It’s time to test that theory. Don’t wait for Nepa when the moon is out there wasting.

    Read with fireflies

    You call them “tanatana”, I call them the future of illumination.  Let’s do something: when you’re free, catch a thousand fireflies and hang them up on your ceiling and voila! Now, you have free light 24/7. If that isn’t peak creativity, I don’t know what is.

    Try Ironing with Solar Energy

    Everything happens for a reason, including the crazy heat in Nigeria. Don’t let the sun shine in vain. Instead of waiting for NEPA, get a stove iron, your laundry and ironing just got easier. This solution is more economical than industrial irons that add millions to your electricity bill. Additionally, your clothes will come out smooth without any burns. 

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    Conduct lightning to charge your devices

    Image by Freepik

    You might not be Thor Odinson, but hey, I believe in you. If lightning obeys a movie character, how much more you? When the next thunderstorm happens, go outside with your metal rod and Dunlop slippers, ready to produce your electricity.

    No laundry machines? Throw your clothes away!

    We were born naked, and we will die naked. It doesn’t matter if you start early. If you switch to leaves, you won’t have to worry about laundry or ironing. Leaves are clean, sustainable and very affordable. Plus, you don’t have to buy them too.

    Sleep outdoors more

    So, no light to power your fan? The solution is to switch to natural breeze. Mosquitoes and other bugs will likely suck you dry, but the pain will be worth it when a cool breeze touches your soul. 

    Buy a messenger bird

    Don’t waste money on airtime or data for a phone you’ll be unable to charge. The fun part is the person you’re calling will also not be reachable because their phone is dead. However, you can’t go wrong with a bird.  An eagle, hawk or turkey works. As long as it has wings, it can deliver your messages for you. But, if someone catches your bird and throws it inside their soup, I’m not there o. 

    For more survival tips, here’s how to survive in Nigeria without cash or a functioning bank app.

    Raymond Temituro

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  • We Asked Chat GPT How to Solve Nigeria’s Electricity Problems

    Five weeks from now, President Tinubu will have been the president for a year. Yet, good power supply, one of his campaign promises,  is anywhere but realised.

    Again, while trying to move on from the realisation that we’ve been scammed by another political gamer, city boy returned to dangle another empty promise of constant electricity in our faces during his January 1st New Year broadcast.

    Well, with the national grid collapsing for the umpteenth time this year, it’s clear that Mr President and whoever is calling the shots at the power ministry can’t (or won’t) get shit done, so we asked AI for the way forward.

    Start a national dance for electricity

    How will this work? The power stays on for every hour citizens stay dancing. Now we know that Jagaban is a hot stepper. Maybe when Nigerians hit the streets recreating all his signature moves, he’ll be moved to actually give us light.

    Power Rangers program

    If your first thought is the Power Rangers, you’re not far off from what ChatGPT suggested.  But how will this work? Volunteers will dress up as their fave ranger and generate electricity through their heroic actions. Don’t know about you, but I know we’ll get constant light if Odumeje volunteers.

    National switch off day

    Are we tripping or is AI plotting with our power minister and his “managing electricity” agenda? Anyway, ChatGPT says we should switch off electricity on Sundays for a day of outdoor activities.  AI is pretty much telling us to go outside and touch grass. Think of this as a way of letting the national grid breathe.

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    Electricity Idol reality show

    Where are those people who claim their voices can send angels to slumber? AI says we should hold their necks because the longer they sing, the more electricity their voices generate. Timi Dakola, Omawumi, Waje et al, rise, please.

    Energy olympics

    At this point, ChatGPT is accusing us of having the solutions to our problems and deliberately sleeping on them. Have you seen the abundance of talented athletes we have? It’s time to put them to action because we might be able to transform all that energy brewing in them to actual electricity. Victor Osimhen, come outside please.

    [ad]

    National power nap

    Even if the national grid eventually receives deliverance, generating 24/7 electricity will only take us back to ground zero. The way out? A 5-hour national siesta to be observed by everybody. This is AI’s way of teaching us maintenance culture.

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • Nepa Has Favourites and You Might Be One of Them

    Like the 10 fingers, electricity bands are not equal. If you’ve ever wondered why the electricity rarely trips off in certain parts of the country while some areas only get light on public holidays, your answer is here.

    There are five bands according to the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC). They include Band A, B, C, D and E.

    Band A

    These are Nigeria’s true rich kids. Users who fall under this band are entitled to a minimum of 20 hours per day. With states like Lagos, FCT, Oyo and Edo receiving the highest electricity rations, it is expected to find Band A customers in this category. Areas in Lagos with this amount of electricity include Akowonjo, Abule-egba, Ikeja, Ojodu, Oshodi, and parts of Yaba whose band currently costs ₦225 per kw/h. 

    Band B

    If you’re part of this class, you are also rich and privileged. Band owners here get a minimum of 16 hours of light per day. With the national grid falling multiple times during the year, you still fall within the priority list of your electricity provider. This band costs between ₦61 – ₦64.07 per kw/h depending on their tariff plan. 

    [ad]

    Band C 

    This class of people aren’t doing too bad. Because Nigeria’s electricity generation is low, we’d probably rank them as comfortable. People who fall under this band have a minimum of 12 hours of electricity per day. At least, if you go to work for twelve hours, there’s a good chance you enjoy light for the other half of the day. This band pays between ₦48.50 to ₦52 per kw/h.

    Band D

    If you only ever get light from midnight till dawn, then this is probably your class. Folks in this class enjoy what many Nigerians would call “stable light”. But hey, you get to charge your devices and iron your work clothes just before dawn. It’s a quiet type of luxury. This band costs between ₦32 to ₦52 per kw/h depending on the tariff plan and demand. 

    Band E 

    This is the lowest band that electricity service providers offer to customers. Users have access to a minimum of 4 hours per day and honestly, that doesn’t sound like enough hours of the day. On the bright side, they only cost between ₦32 – ₦43 per kw/h. 

    Thankfully, the government is working on electricity supply. Read why Nigeria may soon be having an uninterrupted power supply. 

    Raymond Temituro

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  • Nigeria May Soon Start Having Uninterrupted Power Supply

    President Bubu has 64 days left in office, and it seems he’s looking to go out with a bang, as on March 17, 2023, he signed 16 constitutional amendment bills.

    But what might interest you the most is that a particular bill might permanently erase the phrase “Up nepa” from the Nigerian vocabulary.  

    This is the Fifth Alteration Bill No. 33, Devolution of Powers (National Grid System), which grants Nigerian states the power to generate, transmit and distribute electricity to areas covered by the national grid.

    It’s no secret that Nigeria’s power sector is dilapidating, seeing as no one bats an eye anymore when the national grid collapses every Eke market day. And despite the fact we have the potential to generate 12,522 megawatts of electricity, our poor infrastructure has limited us to only around 4000. 

    According to the World Bank, around 43% of the Nigerian population doesn’t have access to electricity from the national grid, and about 22 million small-unit generators are in use by Nigerians. This explains why we’re ranked 171 out of 190 in electricity access. 

    But with the Devolution of Power Bill, we might be looking at a new dawn very soon.

    How exactly will this bill help with power supply?

    As we’ve already said, state governments now have autonomy over power generation and distribution which means they can take advantage of the state’s resources to provide a more diverse and sustainable means of power generation. 

    Nigeria is blessed with renewable energy that is unfortunately underutilised. In the North, solar and wind energy is abundant.

    And the oil and gas in the South-South and South-East can drive electricity generation from thermal energy. 

    Lagos state already has plans to utilise its solar and gas energy to provide at least 18 hours of electricity by the end of this year. 

    This bill is the first step in our journey to a stable power supply that hopefully doesn’t end in disappointment from the state governments. 

    Tolu Omotesho

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  • How to Hold Nepa’s Cloth in 2023, According to the Law

    When God said, “Let there be light”, Nigeria blinked. The little electricity we get is for seeing shege non-stop, and that is not about to end this year.

    Despite the fact that some petrol stations are selling fuel between ₦250-300 per litre, and electricity poles are trying to kill us; Nigeria is about to show us that our situation can and will get worse. 

    Electricity year rights

    Many people have complained about the country’s electricity state for many weeks. 24-hour electricity isn’t regular for many of us, but in the last couple of weeks, there’s been little to no power supply. Those lucky enough to get blessed by the Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN) have electricity for a few minutes, at best hours, once or twice a week.

    Electricity year rights

    What are the Electricity Distribution Companies (DisCos) saying?  

    Although there has been no official statement from the DisCos, Ikeja Electric and Eko Distribution company gave the following reasons on their Twitter pages when asked for information on what was going on:

    • Low power generation
    • Some areas have ongoing maintenance work by the Transmission Company of Nigeria (TCN).

    Unfortunately, many Nigerians are in the dark about what’s happening, which shouldn’t be, and there’s a law to back this up.

    What is this legislation?

    According to the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC), Electricity Distribution Companies (DisCos) are mandated by law to notify their customers in writing before Nigeria’s electricity service disconnection. In simple terms, if there isn’t going to be light for a couple of days, it is within our rights to be informed beforehand in writing. 

    It’s not shocking that this regulation isn’t being followed, as many of us had no idea it even existed in the first place. However, this isn’t the only right we are entitled to as electricity consumers.

    We have the right to contest an electricity bill

    It’s not uncommon to hear complaints of being overcharged for electricity that was barely even available in the first place. And although we’d usually pay irrespective of the fact that it seems unfair, it is within our rights to contest the bill brought. If more Nigerians start paying attention to this, it won’t be long before we start seeing changes in the power sector in this regard.

    It isn’t our responsibility to repair, replace or buy transformers or electric poles

    This seems like common knowledge, but citizens often take this burden on themselves as the government either takes years to meet these demands or shies away from the responsibility altogether.

    With elections less than a month away, the ruling party is giving Nigerians reasons not to vote them in again. Can they pull a miracle before February 25th, or should we accept this difficult lifestyle as the new norm?

    Are you signed up to our Game of Votes newsletter yet? We help you make sense of news jargon and keep you up-to-date especially with election news. Make the subscription of a lifetime here

    Tolu Omotesho

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  • NERC To Increase Electricity Tariffs From The 1st Of April 2020

    NERC To Increase Electricity Tariffs

    NERC Issues Licences To Power Ariaria Market In Abia – Channels ...

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC) plans to increase electricity tariffs around the country starting on the 1st of April 2020.

    Even though NERC’s decision to do this was disclosed back in 2019 during its December Minor Review of Multi-Year Tariff Order 2015 and Minimum Remittance Order for the Year 2020, a source at Ikeja Electric spilled the tea to PUNCH that in light of recent events they had received no order from NERC to suspend the tariff increase.

    The government’s decision to initiate a 2-week total lockdown on 3 states with a population of like 50 million people (giving nothing but a 2 days notice) was insane enough. With NERC’s decision to carry on with a tariff increase in the middle of said lockdown caused by a damn pandemic, you just have to stop and ask yourself what exactly you did to piss off some angel in heaven that they made sure you were sent to Nigeria to be born.

    Or what we as a nation did wrong to be cursed with a line up of incredibly shitty leaders.

    Remember that power supply in most parts of this country is erratic as hell and that this increase is coming at a time when the governments of other countries are waving/subsidizing bills to make life easier for their citizens during the “stay at home” period.

    Needless to say, Nigerians are not feeling this decision and can see it for what it really is.

    https://twitter.com/kelvinBmd/status/1244909149760229377?s=20

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    Astor George

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  • The Complete Guide To Surviving Nigeria Without Fuel And Electricity
    How many weeks has it been since we had fuel and light simultaneously? Or you know, even one after the other. But you know, we are Nigerians, so we have to survive.

    1. Always remember that this period is not the time to be moving up and down.

    If it’s not urgent, you’re not going.

    2. Instead of driving your own car or paying for bus, mount a truck.

    You won’t spend money or fuel. Imagine the breeze though!

    3. Before you visit anyone, ask them if they have fuel. If they do, will their generator be on?

    Let’s not waste each other’s time.

    4. Banish the spirit of shame that will not let you charge your phone at the meeting you’re attending.

    We are all going through the same things.

    5. When you plug your phone, go ahead and plug everything else that needs charging.

    Yes. Even your rechargeable fan.

    6. When you go to a bank with free sockets, plan to spend at least two hours there.

    You need the full battery, and they have AC. This is your home now.

    7. To extend your stay at the bank, allow people that enter after you to cut the line in front of you.

    They think they’re doing you, but you know better.

    8. To make your stay at the bank look legit, withdraw N1000.

    It’s still money.

    9. Sit in the bank, watch Buhari on CNN and get upset all over again.

    This N1000 must be worth it.

    10. The next day, go back to the bank to deposit the N1000 and repeat 5, 6, 7 and 8.

    They won’t suspect.

    11. Carry a water bottle around, you cannot tell when you will encounter a cold water dispenser.

    Prepare for the best.

    12. When you go to a reastaurant, sit near the sockets.

    Take your time to select a seat, they’ll think you’re tush.

    13. Then eat as slowly as possible so you can enjoy the AC and charge your devices.

    You sha paid.

    Odunayo

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  • Our Country Didn’t Generate Any Electricity AT ALL for 3 hours Yesterday

    Yesterday, there was no light in Nigeria. Yeah, we know, we know…you probably haven’t had light in 2 weeks. Well, I haven’t had light in 4 weeks, but that’s not the point.

    We mean that for THREE HOURS, all of the power generating stations in Nigeria were generating a combined total of…wait for it…0MW!!!!

    Zero, Zilch, Nothing!

    For once, for three hours, the rich were equal to the poor. But that’s not the only thing that happened:

    1. Alhaji Putin, sorry Dangote and co were on the same level with the rest of us

    Welcome to the club!

    2. Even Linda Ikeji’s Banana Island mansion didn’t have light

    Eh ya! After she has talked about the house a lot!

    3. For those 3 hours, the depressing forex wahala didn’t even matter

    Forex can wait abeg!

    4. Power-bank owners were the most powerful people in the country, literally and figuratively

    They got the power!

    5. Some people didn’t even realize that this was happening, as per one with the darkness

    *Cries in perpetual darkness*

    6. President Buhari left on Wednesday, no light in the country on Thursday. Not saying he saw it coming but…

    We see you, Daddy Bubu, we see you!

    7. In those 3 hours, PHCN was busy selling agege bread, a la Olajumoke

    Because, that transformation is badly needed abeg.

    For Nigeria to keep up with the developmental pace of other coutries, these power issues need to be fixed. *Drops hand fan*

    Maryam

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  • Femi Adesina Suggested A “Solution” To Nigeria’s Poor Electricity Supply And Nigerians Hate Him For It
    A large percentage of Nigerians reading this right now are currently battling fuel scarcity and erratic supply of electricity.

    When NEPA refuses to bring the light and fuel for generator is also scarce.

    In a dire situation as this, you’d think Nigerian leaders would try and calm the already angry and impatient Nigerians.

    However, President Buhari’s media aide during an interview with Channels Television dropped his very ‘wise’ solution to Nigeria’s electricity problems.

    He claimed that petroleum pipeline vandals were responsible for the poor supply of electricity.

    He went on to shock Nigerians with this statement.

    https://twitter.com/Seyi__/status/714384703793590272
    “… So if some people are crying that they are in darkness, they should go and hold those that vandalized the pipelines, that’s it!”

    When there’s no fuel and light but your government still wants you to fight some people.

    Will Nigerians stand for this?

    https://twitter.com/XANTAPLUS/status/714717304550998016?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    They certainly do not deserve such betrayal.

    Should such statements be made by a Special Adviser to the President?

    https://twitter.com/_Enrikay/status/714713956888215554?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    How much more drama will Nigerians go through in the hands of government officials?

    When did civilians become responsible for tackling pipeline vandals?

    He should kuku give us all guns.

    No wonder!

    Perhaps the misyarning will stop if the President considers this idea.

    Maryam

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  • Nigerians Came For Fashola, As NEPA Is Messing Up Big Time!
    It seems like the mercy period for the Minister of Power, Works and Housing is over. As the former governor of Lagos state, Babatunde Fashola impressed Nigerians and the rest of the world with his dedication and the transformation of Eko.
    So when he was handed the mantle of leadership of not one, not two, but three important ministries in the country, on November 11, 2015, Nigerians gave him some time to do his magic.

    But now, the believe is that he’s had more than enough time to have done something tangible.

    https://twitter.com/chidiajuzie/status/705812302415712257
    Power generation initially peaked at 5,074.7 megawatts, in February 2015 — which was a new record in the history of Nigeria’s electricity generation profile. But it has, since then, fallen to an all time low of 1,580.6MW megawatts.

    Electricity supply has gotten progressively worse since 2016 began and Nigerians cannot take it any longer.

    Nigerians took to Twitter to express their displeasure.

    Some wondered if he was even in office.

    Some were not surprised by the state of things, but by Fashola’s silence.

    Some speculate that Buhari had an agenda by giving Fashola more than he can chew.

    Some say that his positions should have been given to a more qualified somebody.

    Some have ended their long-term relationship with him.

    A few laughed at the situation.

    Some believe that he hasn’t been given enough money to do his work.

    Some have learnt a bitter truth – talk is cheap.

    https://twitter.com/solomonapenja/status/707848554639986688

    And that action is better than words.

    Fashola was given way too much responsiblity. He can’t joggle them all. But we sha still want our light.

    [zkk_poll post=23073 poll=content_block_standard_format_15]

    chioma

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