Eating | Zikoko!

From owambe jollof to Lagos babe pasta and Iya Basira amala, food has proven to be more than something merely eaten to survive. It’s a love language, a coping mechanism, a way of life— God’s gift to humanity. But you can also make money from just eating, and these helpful tips will show you how.

Work as a home economics teacher

Check the meaning of “enjoyment” in the dictionary, and you’ll probably see a home economics teacher holding a big cooler of rice and jug of freshly pressed juice. This job is especially perfect if you hate cooking because all you have to do is share recipes for the students to make the meals. It’s like having a private chef, only at the end of the month, you’re the one getting paid salary.

Work at a restaurant

Trust us, the only reason you think working from home is better than working from the office is because you haven’t worked at a restaurant before. Because how can anyone turn down an offer to be surrounded by free food? Just be praying they don’t get plenty customers sha, so you’ll have plenty leftovers to take home.

Become a judge on a cooking show

This one is easy. All you have to do is sit down and wait for people to try and impress you with their cooking. If you’re hungry and the food is taking time to be ready, just remind them that their clock is ticking and watch them move at twice the speed. You also never have to worry about getting small meat because they want you to like them.

Crash a wedding

Looking for where to find the two things you love — food and money — in one place? Try a Nigerian wedding. Dress up nice so no one will figure out you’re doing mogbo moya. After eating to your heart’s content, you can proceed to dance with the couple and pick money as people are spraying them.

Become a content creator

Content creation is the in thing now, and you need to hop on it. Apart from the money and fame you’d enjoy as an online celeb, you also get invited to restaurants to review their menus and post about it — it’s giving food critic. But make sure you focus on the food niche, not TikTok dances and skits.

Apply for food competitions

We’re not sure how the selection process works, but do whatever you can to be in these competitions. Not only do they give you food that’ll last you for two days, but they’ll also give you prize money if you eat it all on time. Enjoyment no pass like this.

Cook with Knorr

Imagine spending money to buy food when you can be cooking equally delicious meals in your house and getting ₦5k when you use Knorr.

Knorr has launched the Unwrap and Win Promo to reward users for basically cooking and eating foods they already love. And all you need to do is check the wrap of your Knorr seasoning cube for a hidden code, send the code to 8011 and win ₦5k cash or ₦1k airtime instantly.

Visit the website to purchase your Knorr packs, and Instagram to follow the conversation online and secure your own urgent ₦5k.

Meyimi O.

December 19, 2022

Chopist

Eating, Food
Christmas season is here, and I’m excited for all the food I’ll eat this period. I’m doing this thing where, for 12 days of December (any 12 consecutive days before Christmas), I’ll make a different thing to eat and drink. I want you to join me, so I’ve written a list of the 12 recipes we’ll be trying. Let me know how it goes.

Day 1

Turkey and plantain pepper soup

I made this meal after a long ass day at work, and after eating it, I felt instant relief. I no longer wanted to throw hands at my colleagues or cry out of frustration. This is exactly why you should use this recipe to start your Christmas holiday; it’s deliciously soothing. After a long work year, it’s exactly what you need. Don’t try it when the weather is too hot sha.

Get recipe at Sisi Yemmie

Day 2

Tropical fried rice

The normal fried rice you cook at parties with a twist. This one is a bit more festive and includes coconut and pineapple. Before you open your mouth and say, “Who puts pineapples in fried rice?” Try it first.

Find recipe at All Nigerian Recipes

Day 3

Zobo Martini

Time to open the Zobo that’s been in your fridge for a few days, and use it to make a unique martini. I’m not a fan of Zobo, but I’d gladly drink it when mixed with vodka.

Find recipe at Guardian Life

Day 4

Peppered cow liver

I believe the liver is one of the most delicious parts of the cow. If you disagree with me, argue with the cow. Instead of the usual hard chicken piece, small chops should include peppered cow liver. It’s that delicious.

Find the recipe at Ada’s Recipes

Day 5

Yaji chicken pops

Image credit: Dobby’s signature

On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, fiiiiive chicken pops! Nigerians have found a way to make chicken pops better, and it’s by adding yaji pepper to it. They can be eaten alone or with fries, yam chips or anything you want honestly. They can be addictive, so good luck.

Find the recipe on Dobby’s Signature

Day 6

Hot chocolate Baileys

We don’t have winter in Nigeria, but you can put on your AC, or sit in front of a fan, and have this hot drink while watching a cliche Christmas movie. It’s Milo with a bit of alcohol inside.

Find recipe on Marley’s Menu

Day 7

Puff puff and Ice cream

Photo credit: Folahan

The fluffiness of hot puff puff mixes so well with cold vanilla ice cream and makes it so sweet. If I had my way (and a fast metabolic system), I’d eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner. In case you don’t want to buy puff puff…

Find a recipe on how to make it at Immaculate Bites

Day 8

Ponmo sauce

This is basically low-budget Nkwobi; instead of cow leg, use ponmo. It still slaps.

Find recipe at Ada’s recipes

Day 9

Pineapple and watermelon mocktail

I’m actually begging you, take a break from that pack of Chivita and try something different today. The watermelon and pineapple mocktail is a really sweet drink that can be made in minutes. Make it in a large batch and just drink it over the week — or in one day, if you’re like me.

Find the recipe at Times of India

Day 10

Chocolate fudge brownie ice cream

Go back and read the name of the recipe again. If you ever want to taste happiness, try this recipe. The Christmas holiday is for eating all sorts of junk food in the name of celebration, and this ice cream, is the right place to start from.

Get the recipe at Cravings of a Lunatic

Day 11

Mkpafere soup

Mkpafere soup looks like oha soup but tastes different. Just put back the ingredients you’ve brought out for the okra soup you want to make, and start preparing for Mkpafere. I promise you’ll love it. If you have money, add prawns inside.

Find recipe at Sisi Yemmie

Day 12

Bee’s Knees

The Bee’s Knees is a cocktail made with gin, lemon and honey. It’s actually kinda sweet, and that’s why you’d love it. Plus, the name is weird; the weirder the name of the drink, the better.

Get the recipe at Cookie+Kate

ALSO READ: How to Eat Like a Food Blogger on a ₦30k Budget This Detty December

Dammy Eneli

December 4, 2022

Chopist

christmas, Eating, Nigerians, Quick recipes
If you ever happen to have a Nigerian woman in your life who refuses to eat or can’t decide what to eat — which is almost every time — here are six tried and trusted ways to convince her.

Bring the food directly in front of her

You’re using the food to trap her in her seat or bed. By the time the only way she can move is to eat what’s in front of her, you won’t have to tell her twice.

Eat beside her

She don’t want her own, but knowing it belongs to you will make her want to eat. She’ll keep picking at your plate until she’s finished everything in it.

RELATED: 6 Reasons Why Nigerian Women Don’t Iron Their Clothes

Pay her to eat

One thing women love? Money. I can’t believe we’ve gotten to a point where we have to pay women to take care of themselves, but here we are.

Cook the food for her

If she refuses to eat, remind her that you spent hours in the kitchen cooking for her. Don’t be above using guilt to get her to take care of herself better. So enter kitchen and start cooking.

RELATED: 7 Reasons Why Women Love Bodysuits

Seize her coffee or tea

It’s become transactional. If she doesn’t eat, deny her access to her drinks. The love Nigerian woman have for those drinks will force her to eat, even if it’s a little.

Gist her and just give her food

There’s something about gist that makes a woman not even realise she’s eating. Just invite her over because you want to give her sweet gist, and be dumping the food into her lap. It’ll be gone before you know it.

RELATED: 7 Reasons Why Nigerian Women Love Pockets

Itohan Esekheigbe

September 4, 2022

Her

eat, Eating, Food, Her, Nigerian women
You can’t shame the shameless, but you can protect yourself from being disgraced by them. If your crush, or someone you just met displays any of these wired eating habits, jejely remove them from your radar.

They will disgrace you without remorse.

1. They spread their legs first

If you sit near these people and expect them to cross their legs while eating, they’ll disappoint you. Those legs will be spread wide like a bedsheet. You have been warned.

2. They unbuckle their belt first

Flat tummy who? Wait till they want to consumea mountain of eba. If they unbutton their jeans too, just stand up and be going.

3. They take off their cap/wig first

Especially if they do this when they want to eat hot Amala. They will take off at critical times like when your bank moves mad and you need to pay for an Uber urgently.

4. They unhook their bra first

If they can ditch their bra for food, a support system, Is it your case that’ll be different. Their breasts will be fine, you won’t by the time they finish disgracing you.

5. They reuse plates

Instead of washing dirty plates in their kitchen, they prefer reusing. Don’t tell them you know their secret sha. Just delete their number fro.your phone.

6. They drop plates under the bed after eating

Before you conclude that someone is nice and innocent, check under their bed. You might see dirty plates from two years ago. God forbid that they should carry that disgraceful habit to the outside and drag your name in the mud.

7. They licking all five fingers or more

Asides fingers, they can even lick the plate clean. Do you want that same tongue in your mouth? Disgraceful something.

8. They eat straight from the pot

If plates are not enough for them, just know that nothing can satisfy them again in this life. Don’t plan public surprises or attend events with them oh because: disgrace.

9. They use fork to eat swallow

Especially in public. This is a cover up for all the disgraceful things they will eventually do to you.

10. They use bare hand to eat rice

You think people are cute and stuff until they start displaying their disgraceful colours in the outside.

If they also display these cooking habits, then it’s from frying pan to fire.

Susan Nwaobiala

October 9, 2021

Inside Life

Eating, Habits
As you are eating this holiday period to make up for all the 2020 accumulated stress, we have brought you effective ways to enjoy your food.
1. Eat and watch something
If you eat while watching an interesting movie, you’ll most likely not know when your plate of Jollof will finish. Why do you think they give a big box of popcorn at the cinema?
1. Share
We know you are going to get extra food this period, share your food with other people. Remember they say “eat alone and die alone”.
1. Remember to mute Twitter Doctors
Twitter Doctors will not stop shaming you for eating one type of food, thereby making you feel guilty for eating. This holiday season, mute all of them and eat your stomach’s fill. But eat responsibly.
1. Eat in small amounts
Don’t eat everything at once. Eat small amounts over a long period. This way you can eat with ease and still enjoy every meal.
1. Use Gaviscon
In case you’re worried your stomach will stop working, Gaviscon is your padi. Gaviscon is a medication that helps to relieve heartburn and indigestion. You can even carry Gaviscon along with you wherever you are going.

Use Gaviscon today and eat all the Christmas and new year food without worry. Remember to put Gaviscon in your hamper packs. Let your friends and families eat without worrying about heartburn and indigestion too.

Read also: 5 Nigerians Share What They Love About 2020
Muhammed Akinyemi

December 31, 2020

Chopist, Inside Life

Eating, eating healthy, holiday eating
1. When you consider just quickly packing the food to go and then think you are more than you are.

2. When you have less than 5 minutes to finish a massive amount of food.

3. When you start eating so fast you’re sweating.

4. When you abandon the use of your teeth and just start swallowing all the food.

5. When the meat gets stuck in your throat and you almost join your ancestors.

6. When the food is peppery and your suffering is now double.

7. When you start choking but can’t find water.

8. When you finally finish the food like the champion that you are.

Jola Ayeye

December 5, 2016

Oldies

Eating, Food, Funny
1. When your friends finish their food and you’re still on the second bite.

How do you people eat your own food, abeg?
2. How your friends look at you when you’re still eating after one hour.

Please, I can’t be rushed o!
3. When you’re at a restaurant and the waiter keeps coming to clear up before you’re done.

Can’t you see I’m still enjoying my food?
4. You and cold food are always like:

Your food always feels like ice block before you finish eating.
5. When your ice cream melts before you even get half way.

The pain!
6. You, when people ask why you eat so slowly.

Because I can, oya come and beat me.
7. When you now try to change and eat fast, you’re like:

I have done myself!
8. When your fast eater friends start begging for your food like:

“Let me help you finish the food now.”
9. You, every time the ‘food over’ bell was rung in secondary school.

You only took two spoons of rice…
10. When you’re eating with bae, and he asks if you’ll finish your food.

My friend, leave me alone!
11. When you finally meet a slow eater like you.

You can talk and gist over lunch!

Shola

November 3, 2016

Oldies

Eating, Food, slow eaters
On Sunday July 31, the mother of turn ups happened in Lagos. If you missed the 500dishes Foodfest, you really dulled yourself.
Because food was just flowing like river Niger, just ask the people that bought Eat-It-All tickets.

And there were so many baby boys and girls.

The slayage was unrivalled!

Even though the rain didn’t want us to prosper, some of us just opened our umbrellas and continued to slay.

And while the DJ was blasting quality gbedu, one sister was forming bigz girl and was listening to music on her phone. Na wa o!

As you already know that Zikoko makes everything better, we hosted the Zikoko Hunger Games.

The first game was pepper soup battles, and the competition was simple. We wanted to know how fast the competitors could finish a plate of pepper soup.

When the game began, they sharply downed their pepper soup in seconds.

And some of them didn’t even care about their fleeking make up.

After eating the pieces of meat in her bowl at the speed of light, Mary proved to be a pepper soup warrior and won the competition.

And because we wanted everybody to be happy, we launched our second game, First To Finish.

This time around, the game was a food relay where a team of 3 had to finish 3 different food courses on time.

As expected, the players were ready to die on the line as per there was Shawarma, small chops and Jollof rice to be devoured.

Instead of quickly eating her small chops, this aunty in the corner was forming shakara and hiding her mouth from us.

When it was time to eat the Jollof rice, some people were still forming ajebutter.

Eh ya! The ajebutter crew dropped out of the competition when they couldn’t keep up with the rest.

At the end, Segun, Tomi and Chukkie won the game!

And because we aren’t stingy koko, the winners went home with 10,000 cash, food vouchers and other gifts.

We had plenty fun and can’t wait for the next food festival.

This was how many people left the food festival after eating everything on their ticket.

All images credit: Antoss Photography

Maryam

August 3, 2016

Gist

500 dishes, Eating, Food, food fest, Nigeria, Zikoko, Zikoko games
Shawarma, originally an Arab meat preparation, which could include lamb, beef, chicken and/or frankfurters if you want the luxury of it. Prices usually range between N900-N1500 or more. Spending that much on Shawarma and being disappointed is tragic. We made a list of places to go to get good shawarma in Lagos.
Best Shawarma

This is one of the few good places to go for dope shawarma. People say they live up to their name; Best. It is totally worth a try.
01 Shawarma

It seems its becoming a war of names; 01 we see what you guys did there. There are so many branches of this business you have them wherever you are either on the mainland or the island. Its a lot of Lagosians favorite place.
Titto’s Shawarma

A lot of people that talk about this place don’t even know this is the name. It is located at the Ebeano Supermarket hence “ebeano shawarma”. This is also one top spot for people on the island to get satisfying shawarma.
Shawarma & Cor

They took it to another dimension here with their suyarma. They also have branches both on the mainland and island. They also have a lot of options to include in your shawarma.
Charcoal

At Charcoal, they have a lot of dishes on their menu but their shawarma stands out and is highly sought after. Trust there is usually a long line for it but its worth the wait.
Goodies House

This restaurant/store located on the island has a very wide menu from pizza to pasta to shawarma but yeah, we are particular about the shawarma. They give you your sharwama the way it is meant to be eaten. Perfect.
Claypot Kitchen

https://www.instagram.com/p/6DZcX4uyV-/?taken-by=claypotng
Claypot is an amazing place to get shawarma as well. They have all the basic variations of shawarma and you can also get it delivered to you.
Shawarma Express

https://www.instagram.com/p/zEAHsUkYQA/
At this place they have like a hundred different variations of their shawarma and countless options so you have no excuse not to get something.

Tobi Smith

January 17, 2016

Oldies

Eating, Eating Out, Food, Lagos, sharwama
Going into traffic could be a really risky idea, especially when you have a stomach that is a bottomless pit. Getting hungry in traffic is something many of us have experience and will understand these situation.
1. When you are about to head out and notice a slight hold up.

Good Lord, not today again.
2. So you start to look for the faster lanes.

Can this thing please move quickly?
3. But every other driver is trying to get ahead of you.

Why can’t these people just be kind for once.
4. And the traffic has plans for you.

It seems we are going to sleep here.
5. And your stomach also has other plans for you.

Why do I have to be hungry at this time and place.
6. So you start searching for food vendors.

In this whole Lagos not one seller, where are all these people?
7. And you find one in your line of sight coming towards you.

What a time to be alive! Finally!
8. But they all stop 10 cars short of your own.

*groans in dashed hopes, dreams and aspirations*.
9. So you have to obey your stomach and do what needs to be done.

HAYYYYYSS GALA, LACASERA!! Because it is better to be ashamed than die of hunger.
10. But first you have to make sure it is good food.

Is it fresh? Is it “today’s own?’ Is it not 200 Naira for seven again?
11. When you make your purchase with N1000 but you don’t want to be swindled.

I have budgeted this money for three days traffic food.
12. And the vendor is wasting time as traffic eases up.

It’s not my time you are wasting. When you are ready bring the change.
13. And finally you can settle down and feast.

I am not dying of hunger today. Praise God.

Tobi Smith

December 6, 2015

Oldies

Buying food, Eating, Hungry, Traffic, Vendors