Driving in Lagos state is not the same as driving anywhere else in the world m. Here’s what you need to know if you want to learn how to drive correctly in Lagos.
1) Have a spare car in your compound
Driving in Lagos means you should have a spare car in your house. Because if , the real owners of the car decide to help you bash it, will you now be left with nothing? If you want to drive and you don’t have a spare car, better enter a cab.
2) Drop your sanity at home
Lagos roads are not a place for people with sound minds. They’re for people who have nothing to lose. When you decide to drive on a Lagos road, you need to embody the spirit of someone who can do anyhow at any time. Scary stuff, but it needs to be done.
3) Always have enough food stuff in your car
With traffic that often lasts longer than the will to live, you should always make sure that you have enough to cook. As a passenger, you can sleep and pretend to not be hungry. However, if you’re driving, you need all the energy. You fit make sharp-sharp amala.
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4) Remember that you’re never wrong
In Lagos, everyone that drives is right. Even if they’re passing one-way or bashing your car, they’re right. You too need to embody the spirit of always being right.
5) LASTMA is your biggest opp
As you drive, have it at the back of your mind. LASTMA officers are out for blood, so don’t give them any. Complete papers, fire extinguisher, and whatever else they need. If not, the billing that’ll occur will wreck you.
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6) Pedestrians are a suggestion
To drive in Lagos state, you don’t rate pedestrians. The road was not built with them in mind, so why will you drive with them in mind?
7) Refresh your insults vocabulary
Every morning before you enter the road, refresh the insults in your vocabulary. Driving in Lagos means you have to be constantly innovating with your insultive creativity.
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8) Have your therapist on speed dial
Driving in Lagos will traumatise you, so you should have the person that’ll un-traumatise you. If you didn’t have a therapist before, better go and book one before you hit the road.
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