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For every human being, there’s definitely a corresponding drink type and we’re here on this beautiful day to tell you which type of drink matches your personality. Now if you can’t take the truth, you might as well scroll to the next quiz. Otherwise, let’s get it going, shall we?
Like the millions of people across the world who work 9 to 5s, I hate Mondays. Always have, always will. At least until I’m a billionaire and don’t have to wake up at 8 am and slug it out with the masses.
Because I’m a firm believer in living my very best life, I’m always coming up with imaginative ways to make Mondays, well a little less suckish. Like calling in sick every other Monday or getting half of my deliverables done the night before if I’m sober enough and home before 8 pm. My new favourite thing, however, is working with a reward system. I set a list of goals I want to accomplish during the week and by the weekend I reward myself with something from my ‘treat yo self’ list. If I don’t meet my target I still console myself with something of my list. It’s always a win-win situation.
Here’s a couple of things off my ‘treat yo self’ list that I think you deserve to indulge in this week. Because you are doing amazing sweetie and you deserve to spoil yourself too; rent and electricity bills be damned.
The best Margherita in town
I think I’ve made enough noise about them for anyone who knows anything about me to know that Pizza-Riah is my favourite pizza place in Lagos. But since I tried the Margherita at Lagoon restaurant I’ve been torn. A friend put me on to it a couple of weeks ago. And it took me two bites to decide that he was right, they make these best Margherita in Lagos. I went back this weekend for it and also tried their ‘Lagoon Special’. I didn’t love the ‘Lagoon Special’ so pizzeria continues to hold its place in my heart. However, Lagoon does, without doubt, make the best Margherita in Lagos.
Fruit cake the best cake, especially from Cakes and Cream
I’ve been living two minutes away from a Cakes and Cream outlet for almost two years and I only discovered they make the best fruit cake in Lagos a couple of months ago. They’ve been the number one culprit for my rapidly expanding waistline, but every bite is worth it. They also make a pretty decent cheesecake. Talking about cheesecakes, I have to give Pizza-Riah an honorary mention here because they make a more than decent one. At this point, I should make a proud mum type of bumper sticker with their name on it.
A 300 naira burger
I don’t think it’s possible for me to hate anything that comes out of Tastee Fried Chicken (TFC). Including their Buristo which shouldn’t be mistaken for an actual Burrito. I’m just now realising that what I thought was a typo in their menu might just be intentional, to let you know you aren’t getting an actual Burrito. Anyway, I’m here to talk about their burger which is the best burger you could get anywhere in the country for 300 naira. It’s made up of a small patty, a fresh bun some tomato and lettuce but for some reason, it bangs as hard as anything Burna Boy puts out.
Breakfast smoothies
You deserve all the finer things of life, including breakfast smoothies, because your summer body needs some assistance to finish loading. Three weeks ago I switched out my regular breakfast for fruit smoothies and although I’m hungry all the time before lunch, I can say it’s definitely worth it and you should try it too. I’m trying to do this for a month and I’m about three weeks in, so I’ll share a little progress report by next week.
Pizza from The House Cafe
I like food way too much to ever have a favourite kind. Do you know how many options there are in this world? But pizzas are definitely some of my most favourite food. The pizza from House Cafe hits all of the right spots. Perfect crust, the right amount of tomato sauce, cheesy enough to make my lactose intolerant self almost regret having it when I’m stuck in the toilet for hours the next day. Giving that I live and work in Surulere and House Cafe is all the way in Lekki, I think it says a lot about the pizza there that I’m ready to journey all the way to get it.
A pedicure from Nail Boutique
I got a pedicure from Nail Boutique months ago and I have been to a bunch of other places since then because they are located all the way in Lekki. And each time I get a pedicure in a new place I regret not just making the trip down to get it done there. I don’t know what sort of sorcery they worked on me. But my heels were baby soft for weeks after I got it and my feet looked like they had somehow managed to take a layer off my sunburn. 10 over 10, will recommend.
Urban Fuxion ribs
I knew that Urban Fuxion had me in their clutches when I was on my way home at 3 am from 355 and turned back on Akin Adesola to chase down their food truck because I wanted their ribs. It’s a little disappointing they no longer make their curly fries but they’ll also have a place in my stomach and that’s saying a lot.
My signature pottage recipe no matter what the haters say
In last week’s episode of #VRSUS which was nothing but a smear campaign against my fine name and elite culinary skills @boyin_ and @yesmina_t tried to trash my signature pottage recipe. I’m here to do damage control and declare that my recipe is elite and definitely one of the best things you deserve this week. Unfortunately I’m a sore loser and I’m still licking my wounds so I won’t be whipping up a pot anytime soon. But you can watch the full video here.
What you most definitely don’t deserve though is this milkshake (?) from The Metaphor.
I didn’t think this needed to be said but here’s what a milkshake is made up of – actual strawberries, even if it’s just one; ice cream but I’d have even settled for yoghurt; sugar; and milk. It’s not however made up of 90% strawberry syrup and 10% ice. The waitresses retort of ‘That’s just how we make it here’ to my complaint is also one of the reasons I haven’t been back to Metaphor since.
Creativity doesn’t just happen on your computer or piece of paper. At least, not in Nigeria. Creativity here goes beyond that.
We are very similar to super heroes.
We love food and drinks, and we have figured out creative ways to experiment and make new stuff, especially with our drinks.
And guess what, they’ve banged! At least.. most.
Here are some locally made drinks that will switch up your taste buds once you try them.
Nigerian or not, you just have to respect these drinks.
Let’s start with the common ones, like Kunu.
It is made mostly in the North.
I would like you to know that a lot of Non-Nigeria have called this drink “The Nigerian Irish Cream”. Kunu is made with groundnuts and some rice, or tiger nuts. It is rich in Protein, Minerals and Fibre.
Let me just say it again, ‘The Nigerian Irish cream’. We. have. our. own. Irish. cream.
Palmwine. This drink is the daddy of all local drinks. It could be alcoholic or non-alchoholic.
So everyone and anyone can enjoy a little palm wine.
It is consumed in every part of Nigeria and is gotten from palm trees.
“No, we thought it was gotten from apple trees.”
Sorry, I was just informing you guys now.
Anyway, if you’ve ever had pap (aka Ogi) before. Then you need to try Adoyo. This drink is deceitful because it looks like pineapple juice from afar.
But It is nothing close to fruit juice. Be warned.
Even though it is made from pineapple, it is also made from Ogi, which is made from corn.
Just look at it.
If you haven’t tired it, well, now you have a reason to.
Another incredible drink is Omi Wara. It is drank majorly by the Northerners and is made from cheese and water. Some people will disagree with the fact that it’s an incredible drink.
But, one man’s meat..
Let’s talk about Nigerian Vodka for a second, aka Ogogoro. If you’ve ever heard the names; sapele water, push me I push you, I for don marry, kai kai, etc, they are all from the same family, and their surname is Ogogoro. It is made from ripe plantain.
This drink is NOT for children.
Another alcoholic drink is Burukutu. The production of this drink takes a rather long process because it has to ferment properly, for at least 48hours.
But it’s worth the wait, just not for people not old enough to drink alcohol obviously.
Finally we have something called Groundnut Milk Drink. It is is made from groundnut of course, and is very rich in protein. It’s basically groundnut and water.
It is that drink you’d want to have when the weather is cool.
There are a lot more drinks but let’s take baby steps and try these 8 first.
West African countries have quite a lot in common when it comes to food and drink. Just see how many countries are claiming ownership of Jollof rice.
But there is also a lot of diversity we can’t help but appreciate. You probably already know what to eat when you travel across West Africa, but have you ever wondered what to drink? Check this out!
La Beninoise – Benin Republic
This is the official national drink, and definitely the cheapest beer to buy in Benin.
Zoom Koom – Burkina Faso
The traditional drink of Burkina Faso, zoom koom is a flour-based drink. It sounds a little weird, but it’s so delicious!
Grogue – Cape Verde
Cape Verde’s national drink is grogue – a rum distilled from sugar cane that has an alcohol percentage of over 40%! Honestly, the country sounds lit.
Bangui – Ivory Coast
Bangui is the national drink of Ivory Coast, and it is the local palm wine. It looks milky and is both bitter/sour and sweet.
Attaya – Gambia, Senegal
Attaya is a green tea and a way of Gambian and Senegalese life. It is served extremely hot, strong and sweet.
Asaana – Ghana
Asaana is a delicious Ghanaian drink made from fermented corn and caramelized sugar. It is absolutely refreshing and it tastes great.
Ginger Juice – Guinea
This is a Guinean drink that is everything you need it to be. It is the most delicious balance between spicy and sweet. Ask for it when next you’re in the region.
Lemongrass Tea – Liberia, Sierra Leone
This drink tastes as good as it smells… maybe better lol. This drink is a favourite in Liberia and Sierra Leone.
Sweet Tea – Mali, Mauritania
Mali and Mauritania have a sweet green tea culture. It is served three times from the same pot; the first is bitter as death, the second is slightly sweetened like life, and the third being as sweet as love, as is popularly said.
Biere Niger – Niger
Although alcohol is restricted in Niger, its national drink is Biere Niger, and it is actually quite good.
Ogogoro – Nigeria
This is a very potent alcoholic drink that is distilled from fermented Raphia palm tree juice. Advance with caution.
Saint Helena – Tungi Spirit
Tungi is an alcoholic drink distilled from the cactus pear fruit. It is very strong, so make sure you’re careful with this.
Sao Tome and Principe – Palm Wine
This is a delicious sour/sweet alcoholic drink made from the sap of certain palm trees. You can pretty much find this across West Africa.
Sodabi – Togo
And finally, we have Sodabi. This is a liquor made by distilling palm wine. It’s an award-winning drink, so you can guarantee that it’s good!
What drink are you most interested in trying? And if you’re a connoisseur, what drink would you recommend? Tweet us @zikokomag!
Let’s not deceive ourselves. When a person leaves their house to come and celebrate at a party, they’re also expecting that you will fill their stomach in return. Let us now look at all the drinks you’ll find at a Nigerian party, and why they aren’t bringing the drinks you want to your table.
Cocktail.
This is the only drink you need a visa to get in some parties. You literally have to have cards, special cards. You know you’re blown when people are hustling cards to get a cup of cocktail and it’s casually brought to your table! VIP wayyy.
Hennessy, Moet & Ciroc Gang.
The Unshakable Table, aka The Gentlemen’s Club. Full stop.
Velveta, Eva, Don Simon, Andre, and friends
You’re welcome, grab a seat and join us.
Star, Heineken, Goldberg, it’s all beer!
and they love it.
Got Juice?
Which one sir? Chivita or 5 Alive?
Excuse me, Can I have a can of Malt?
Okay do you want Maltina or Malta Guinness? We also have Maltex and Amstel Malta, I also have malt liquor and…
JUST GIVE ME MALTINA ABEG!
“We only have minerals.”
Please, just drink your Coke or Fanta or Schweppes or Parle Soda, eat your food, and be going.
Nestle Life, Eva, Aquafina. Let me drink my water and be happy.
At least I’m not destroying my liver.
“See bros please just give me any Bottled Water you have”
