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dino melaye | Zikoko!
  • We were going about our business this beautiful morning, wondering why $1 is still over 360 naira and why a bag of rice is 20k when our Senators decided to come and disturb us with their drama.

    As is with all things Nigerian we honestly don’t know exactly what is going on. But here’s the gist of what we at least know.

    The DSS barricaded the entrance to the NASS complex and prevented staff and legislators from entering. 

    The State Security Services in #Nigeria (DSS) have blocked the entrance to @nassnigeria, this morning, and are turning away staff and legislators.

    A complete assault on Nigeria’s democracy. pic.twitter.com/TWmY7PQLfZ — Chxta (@Chxta) August 7, 2018

    No one knows who the order came from, it apparently came from ‘above’.

    Did Baba Bubu send a text from London? We’re still trying to figure out who this Oga at the top is.

    In fact, a Legislator stood up to the DSS, daring them.

    This is quite fascinating, that the Legislators have this kind of energy, but they couldn’t use this energy to help us looking into #EndSARS.

    After hours of standing up to the DSS and fighting to uphold democracy in Nigeria, the senators were finally granted access into the complex.

    For a group of people who are supposed to be under siege, they seem pretty cheerful.

    All the APC legislators were nowhere to be found.

    What a coincidence.

    The DSS operatives were also masked.

    Muzzbe action film.

    In what might or might not be connected news, Senator Goodswil Akpabio also officially resigned as senate minority leader today.

    Another coincidence. Fascinating.

    Because this is Nigeria we won’t be surprised if the narrative changes in the next couple of hours.

    Next thing we’ll hear is that the DSS were actually there to protect the Senators.

    In a twist of events that can only happen in Nigeria, Ag. President – Yemi Osinbajo fired the DG of DSS, Lawal Daura.

    This might be the most epic way anyone has ever said ‘I am not involved’.

    All this drama, and you wonder why Nigerian politicians are not getting nominations for AMAA awards

    Look at this list. No Nigerian Politician.

    Anyway, all of them will still go to the back and be hugging each other in private.

    Because really, that’s all they care about mostly. Themselves.

    If you are as tired as we are of these people using us to play ten-ten and you still haven’t collected your PVC, you can’t be a serious person.

    Head on over to getyourpvc.com to find the answers to learn how to register to get your Permanent Voter’s Card. Don’t forget, the deadline is August 17 to register if you want to vote next year.
  • Nigeria is a country blessed with an extraordinarily diverse set of people. Our politicians are a different breed of their own.

    Let’s talk about of the distinct types of politicians in Nigeria.

    The first type of politicians are the calm ones, believe it or not, some of them fall under this category.

    Whatever the situation, they remain calm.

    Then we have the CEOs of trouble making.

    From jumping fence to tearing cloth, these ones can scatter anywhere.

    You know those types of people who can lie their way out of every situation?

    No comment.

    There’s the special ones who have Ph.Ds in dancing.

    They play a very vital role in the Nigerian politics.

    Let’s not forget the ones who have refused to fully retire.

    Help us beg these baby boys o. It’s okay.

    This category is for the ones who grace us with their beautiful grammar once in a while.

    Higi Haga. Crinkum Crankum.

    The ones who are always in the news for one drama or the other.

    We know the people we’ll send to Big Brother next year.

    What of the ones that change party like SIM cards?

    Home is where the power is.

    There are the ones that are just doing House of Cards with Nigeria

    Will the real Frank Underwood please stand up?

    What about the ones who do everything but their job?

    Is that why we’re here?

    Is this list even complete without the Keyboard Warriors?

    Lion on the Internet, but meow-meow when it’s time to solve our problems.

    Finally, we have the ones who are ready to change Nigeria.

    We’re still waiting for the change sha.

    So if you’re tired of all this nonsense, perhaps the first step is to:

    Make your voice heard. Visit getyourpvc.com and learn how to register to get your PVC ASAP.

    What type of politician did we miss out on? Tell us in the comments below or tweet us @zikokomag!

  • Dino Melaye – you must have heard of him if you’re Nigerian. Or even if you’re not, because he’s that big of a star. Still, let me give you a brief introduction. He’s a Nigerian senator, an accomplished actor and musician, as well as the ultimate baby boy. Here’s just a few of Dino’s most iconic moments.

    Just look at that smize! This is the level of baby boy I aspire to.

    Ajekun iya ni’oje

    Ah… This one is a classic. No Dino Melaye story can be told without adding his rather iconic diss song to Kogi State governor Yahaya Bello, after it was confirmed that he is indeed, educated. The details of their battle might be fuzzy, but this song is evergreen to us.

    His entire music career.

    Just in case y’all didn’t know, Dino officially entered the music scene not when he performed ‘Ajekun Iya’ live, but when he appeared in the music video…of a hit song about himself! You can’t tell me nothing – he’s living his best life.

    Showing up in a stretcher to court.

    Moving on from music, Dino has also tried his hand at acting. This was originally his true love, and he has a few acting credits under his Gucci belt. One of his most famous and challenging roles was when he abandoned his fleet of exotic foreign cars, and pulled up to an Abuja court on a stretcher for allegedly breaking the windshield of a police vehicle and threatening to kill himself. A revolutionary.

    Jean-Claude Melaye.

    The action hero none of us realized we needed, Dino actually performs his own stunts. He was arrested in Abuja in connection to a murder case and other criminal activities, and apparently assumed he would be interrogated there. However, the police had a few tricks up their sleeves and started heading towards Kogi State. Terrified of what awaited him, Dino took a leap of faith out of the moving police vehicle.

    The Nightcrawler.

    Call me naive, but you tell me how else someone whose passport was supposedly seized could leave Nigeria and mysteriously appear in the abroad. I choose to believe he’s actually Nightcrawler because it makes no sense. Baba actually posted this picture with his chest, with the caption “Happy to be away from the joke going on in Naija today.” as his caption to really pepper Nigeria. Teach us your ways, sir.

    THIS outfit!

    Dino’s sense of style is just as vibrant as his personality. He is truly a style icon of our time. Dino actually broke the internet this day that he stepped out in designer, looking like the African Red Ranger.

    A ladies’ man.

    Although Dino has not been known for his empowerment of the Nigerian woman, he came to our defense like the knight in shining armor that he’s really not, when he went on a really shady rant on the Senate floor. Perhaps guilt-triggered by the former Edo State governor’s appeal to support more made-in-Nigeria products, Dino infamously asked Nigerians to ignore the governor, whom he said chose not to “patronise ‘made-in-Nigeria women but a foreign one”, referring to Oshiomole’s Cape Verdean wife. Yikes.

    No vex, na God.

    At the end of the day, you can’t even vex for Dino and his antics, because last last, na God.
  • Dino Melaye Just Launched An ‘Anti-Corruption’ Book And We Are Just As Confused As You Are

    Our favorite controversial politician, Dino Melaye is in the news again. If you don’t remember what he looks like, here’s a picture to refresh your memory.

    Remember him now?

    He just released a book called “Antidotes For Corruption”, a book about how Nigeria can properly fight corruption. This is hilariously ironic for one reason.

    Because he’s a NIGERIAN POLITICIAN, that’s why. You know what we mean by this. Don’t pretend.

    Wait! That’s not even the best part! The most entertaining first lady Nigeria has ever had, Patience Jonathan, was the guest of honor at this event.

    It’s worth pointing out that Mama Peace is currently embroiled in a court case regarding almost $6 Million she might have gotten through shady means.

    Also present at the event was Senate President, Bukola Saraki, who is currently on trial for false declaration of assets.

    Which probably explains why his face was like this when this picture was taken.

    Saraki even gave a speech. Talking about how the fight against corruption shouldn’t be sensationalized because it is ‘unnecessary and counter-productive.’

    Basically that was him saying that he doesn’t want to be dragged on the front pages of newspapers and social media for being corrupt.

    He even congratulated Dino Melaye for writing such a lengthy book despite Dino’s busy schedule.

    We at Zikoko can bet all our reproductive organs that Dino Melaye didn’t write that book himself.

    Also, there was NO representative from the EFFC.

    They know this whole thing is a sham. LOL

    All this put together, gave Nigerians the chance to do the thing they do best.

    DRAGGING!

    Nigerians went in hard! Let’s start with this tweet from The Sahara Reporters that came with epic shade.

    This tweet from this guy who can’t wait for everything to end.

    This tweet about an epic showdown.

    This tweet from this guy who makes a valid point.

    This tweet about the dream team.

    This tweet from this person that REALLY wants you to see how much of a sham this whole thing is.

    Even the grammar nazis came out to play.

    This tweet about about how the book launch left corruption confused.

    We have no idea who Dino and his people think they’re deceiving but it’s sha not us.

    Because we’re not stupid.
  • Remember how Dino Melaye clowned himself in a music video after his certificate scandal was cleared and resolved?

    We told you guys about it here.

    People had to seize the opportunity to do the #Dinochallenge

    Nigerians don’t dissapoint

    Chanels TV spiced it up with subtitles

    Royal Arts Academy, one of Nigeria’s leading institutes for the creative arts just made the their own remix, and it’s lit!

    Of course, people are loving it

    Because Nigerians are too much

    Some only noticed their facial expressions

    But others are just tired

  • Dino Melaye Is Acting Very Weird And We’re All A Bit Worried

    Actually, scratch that. Dino Melaye is acting exactly like Dino Melaye over a certificate scandal, and no, we’re not worried about him

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzfXGm3dHWk
    The video shows Nigerian senator, Dino Melaye, rejoicing and shaming his ‘enemies’ after accusations came up that his educational certifications may have been forged. How many people can dance like this?

    How did we get to this? Let’s go back to Mon 20th, March, when it all started

    Sahara Reporters allege that Sen Dino failed some compulsory courses and so could not have graduated.

    The same platform also alleged that his London School of Economics (LSE) degree was a fake, and they had receipts

    On March 21st, the Senate Committee on Ethics led by Senator Ali Ndume called for a probe of the allegations and invited the Vice Chancellor of ABU to defend the school

    The committe also called for probes into allegations that Senate President Abubakar Saraki evaded customs duty on a Range Rover Sports SUV, which caused it to be impounded by Customs officials.

    March 27th. Vice Chancellor of ABU, Prof Ibrahim, appeared before Senate to confirm that Melaye indeed graduated as ‘Daniel Jonah Melaye’ in 1999

    The professor confirmed  he graduated in 2000, with a 3rd class in Geography.

    Meanwhile, Dino posted his NYSC certificate on his Twitter and that only caused him more trouble

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BSLMvtyALnO/?taken-by=dinomelaye
    Somebody explain why he’s producing a black and white certificate? Where is the original? Where is his ABU certificate? Somebody? Anybody?

    But where did the line under ‘2000’ and ‘2001’ go to?

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Also, the logical arrangement of the code should carry ‘2000’, not 1999. If Dino graduated 2000 and started service year in 2000, where is the ’99’ coming from?

    So trust Nigerians to investigate things by themselves

    https://twitter.com/TytbonesCEO/status/846683270851039232
    People of God, Dino started and ended NYSC on Sunday.He also posted that embarrassing video shaming his haters.

    And what did Dino do in response? Of course he wore his gown to a plenary session in true clown fashion

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BSLncb1g8Ml/?taken-by=dinomelaye

    What will Dino wear next? NYSC uniform?

    Anything can happen at this point.

    We are not even surprised. In 2011, allegations surfaced against Senator Andy Uba for forging his Ph.D certificate

    It’s a damn shame, but if you take a good look at this pattern and if indeed some senators have been lying about their qualifications, you’ll begin to understand why almost everything they do is a mess. Logically, learned people would be more productive and less clownish.
  • Dino Melaye Wrote A Book On Corruption And We Just Have Some Questions

    Our Nigerian senators have come with another one.

    This time, Senator Dino Melaye has written a book on corruption.

    Wait, are we the only ones seeing the irony in this matter?

    And you’ve not heard the funniest part o.

    He now let Senate President Bukola Saraki, write the forword for the book.

    Are these people playing us, or they’re playing themselves?

    Or don’t they know their name is corruption? Just look at these people!

  • King Of Controversy, Dino Melaye, Drops Yet Another Sexist Tweet

    You may have seen this video of Dino Melaye comparing women to products during the March 2nd sitting at the senate.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv0W5aQhqMc
    Where he also asked the members on the floor  to “patronise made in Nigeria women”. He asked them to stop paying dowry in dollars and pounds and even shamed his colleague, Governor Adams Oshiomhole, for marrying a foreigner (who is actually African and from Cape Verde).

    Even little children should take knocks for that statement.

    Maybe the heat and fuel scarcity made people forget how wrong that comment was.

    And as if he thrives on making such comments, he went on a shade trip after his long time opponent, Senator Adeyemi, joined his party APC.

    His anger isn’t misplaced sha. Just imagine if your teacher forced you to become seat partners with that student you hated so much in your class.

    After ranting and ranting.

    Na wa oh! Aren’t they supposed to be working together for the progress of party and country?

    Throwing shade…

    Only a scared person would go on a Twitter rant when a former opponent joins his party sha.

    Upon shade…

    He’s even trying to be deep, nice one senator!

    He ended things with this tweet.

    WOW!

    Wait…

    WHAT???

    Is he trying to say he flogs his wife?

    Is he even serious?

    Does that mean he doesn’t see anything wrong with physical abuse against women?

    He has kuku compared women to products before.

    Why is he comparing the defeat of another man to flogging his wife?

    Dis tew much!

    Why is he comparing someone he obviously dislikes so much to his wife?

    Does he even regard his wife at all?

    But we have one prayer wish for the senator so he can be cured of sexism and misogyny…

    Amen! [zkk_poll post=27882 poll=content_block_standard_format_13]