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Crypto | Zikoko!
  • #NairaLife: The Software Developer Picking Himself Up After Losing $500K in Seven Months

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.


    Nairalife #261 bio

    What’s your earliest memory of money?

    I started getting pocket money in JSS 1. It was the early 90s, so I don’t remember the exact amount now. I always gave the money to my uncle — who was in SSS 3 — for safekeeping because the students in my boarding school were notorious for stealing. 

    But my uncle was the one I should’ve been careful of. He started spending my money and would lie to me that it had finished. Somehow, I believed I spent it all.

    How did you find out?

    My dad noticed I was constantly writing to him for more money every few days. He asked, “Why is your money always finishing?” And I responded, “My uncle said the money has finished.” My dad figured he was tampering with the money and asked him. My uncle was mad at me for not covering him. 

    I changed schools in JSS 2 when I kept getting bullied for my accent and started keeping my pocket money myself.

    What accent?

    I spent some of my early years in the UK with my parents, who were studying for postgraduate degrees. I was in primary two when they were done, and we moved back to Nigeria in 1991. I remember because my parents were really disturbed by the fact that a dollar exchanged at ₦14 on the black market.

    If only they knew now

    When we returned to Nigeria, my dad worked in agribusiness for a bit with the company that sent him to the UK while my mum found work as a teacher. There was a bit more money, and I was the boy with comic books in primary school. I had them all — Superman, Batman, Guardians of the Galaxy, you name it.

    But my dad left his job to become a missionary around the time I entered secondary school, and we had to tighten our belts. No more comic books, and we moved to a smaller town.

    What did your mum think about your dad’s decision?

    If there was any pushback, my siblings and I weren’t aware. My parents always presented a united front, and they cushioned us from whatever our financial situation was as best as they could.

    I entered university in 2001, and they placed me on a ₦20k/month allowance, which was a reasonably good amount. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to handle money, so I spent it on music CDs and books and was always broke before the next allowance came in.

    We’ve all been there. When was the first time you made your own money?

    2002. I was studying engineering in school but didn’t like the course. So, I put my energy into learning programming. I found this book called “Teach Yourself C++ in 21 Days” and another called  “Cryptonomicon” by Neal Stephenson and decided I wanted to be a cryptologist. But I started with programming. I spent hours in the library learning how to code on the computers.

    My first gig was to build a website for a church, and they were supposed to pay me ₦10k, but I never got anything. In fact, I didn’t get paid for the first three gigs I did. One was even my dad’s friend who promised ₦50k for a website gig but never paid. Funny enough, he saw me regularly after that and always said, “I have a job for you to help me do.” Yeah, right.

    LOL

    I quit engineering and moved to Ghana in 2004 to start my first degree afresh. I had started getting depressed because I wasn’t doing great academically, and I desperately wanted to move to the US to study. However, my parents couldn’t afford the tuition, and scholarships didn’t work out, so I settled for Ghana to study mathematics because of my cryptologist goal.

    Did you get more gigs while in Ghana?

    Yes, but they were mostly from Nigeria. At one point, I worked with about four companies simultaneously, which meant I was in Nigeria almost every weekend. The clients paid for my flights to Nigeria on Friday and then back on Sunday. I had so many airline miles I was giving it out. 

    How much were you making from the gigs, though?

    Anything between ₦100k to $5k per project, depending on what I was working on. Some clients — mostly the big ones — also didn’t complete payment. But I was making money. I also had a friend from a freelance agency who regularly threw work my way.

    In my second year in Ghana, I became responsible for myself and stopped calling home for money. My parents had also gone full-time into the ministry, which affected the family’s finances, so I occasionally supported my siblings too. I didn’t really spend on anything else apart from books and music. By the time I finished school in 2009, I had saved about €20k.

    That’s huge. Were you saving towards a particular goal?

    Yes, a postgraduate degree. I got admitted to an English-speaking German university to study for a one-year Master’s degree in Computational Mathematics. About €15k from my savings went into covering my fees, rent and living expenses for the year.

    After one year in Germany, I moved to India in 2010 for another Master’s degree in Computer Science. I chose India because it was cheaper. It only cost me $2k to cover fees and living expenses for the one-year program. 

    I’m curious. Why the double Master’s degrees?

    I just wanted to expand my knowledge. I’ve wanted to get a PhD since I was seven; I consider it one of the highest intellectual awards one could get. It’s not even to become a professor; I’m not one to teach. But that PhD? I still plan to have it before I die. Even if it means doing it at 70 with my grandkids.

    Did you do anything for money while in these countries?

    I lived on my savings for the most part. My student visa didn’t allow me to work in India. The only job I managed to do in Germany was to assist at a local food mart, where I sat behind a register. This paid like €10 or €15 per hour. It was good money for almost no work, but it wasn’t my thing.

    I also did a website for one hair salon lady for €100. I also tried bartending, but I was more interested in drinking than actually serving the drinks. 

    I left India after my Master’s and returned to Nigeria. Then, I tried to go to Poland for my PhD, but it didn’t work out. So, I decided to stay back and work for a year before returning to school. It wasn’t that easy.

    What happened?

    Applying to jobs in Nigeria with two Master’s degrees on my CV was destroying my chances. Recruiters said they couldn’t afford to pay me. So, I drafted two CVs: one with all my degrees for foreign jobs and the other without them for local jobs.

    Did that help?

    It did. I got a ₦150k/month job at a web development studio, but I only stayed for seven months because my boss was more interested in politics than paying us for our work. At the point I left, I was being owed two months’ salary.

    After that, I worked freelance between 2012 and 2013. I didn’t get as many exciting gigs as I did in university, but it paid the bills. That said, the thing about freelancing is that you can make ₦3 million today and make nothing for the next couple of months. It wasn’t sustainable.

    Plus, my tastes had changed. As a uni student, I didn’t need to spend much. But as an upwardly mobile tech bro, I started hanging out with other tech bros, and my expenses increased. At some point, I reduced how frequently I hung out because I couldn’t always afford the drinks. When your friend buys you drinks twice, by the third time, it’s already looking awkward.

    Real. Did you try applying for 9-5 jobs again?

    Yes. Fortunately, I landed a ₦200k/month job towards the end of 2013. I stayed there for only a few months before moving to another role that paid three times more. After nine months, I also left the new job because I got bored and returned to freelancing. Nine months is the longest I’ve spent at a job.

    In 2017, I returned to 9-5 for ₦450k/month and quit after four months — the boss was terrible. Shortly after, I took up another ₦300k/month job with one of the early Nigerian blockchain companies, but they crashed around March or April 2018. 

    I then moved to Maiduguri to work with an NGO. It was almost like I did it for charity because the job was below my skills and only paid ₦130k. But after two or three incidents where I ran from Boko Haram attacks, I decided I was done. ₦130k wasn’t enough for that.

    What did you do next?

    I did another four-month stint at a company I later discovered scammed its customers. They paid their developers, though, and my $500/month salary was never delayed. I left the job for another that paid me $1k/month. I was just moving like that and increasing my income.

    My savings increased with my salary too. By the time I started earning $3k/month in 2020, I was saving and investing 80% of it. Mostly because I was living with my parents and had side gigs that brought money in occasionally.


    [ad]


    What were some of the things you invested in?

    Stocks: tech, pharmaceutical, and metals through foreign investment platforms. I invested in Tesla when it was $30 per stock. When I sold most of it in 2022, it had grown to $290. 

    I also had 50 Bitcoins, which I got as a gift in 2012 when it was still around $12. I tried to access them in 2018 and realised I’d forgotten my private key to the wallet.

    Excuse me. WHAT?

    Yeah. I haven’t been able to crack it since, even though I’ve been doing blockchain bounty hunting since 2021.

    What does that mean?

    I go around different blockchain projects to find security bugs or build something for them. Bounty hunting is all in — you either make so much money or nothing at all. I once lost an $80k reward because I stepped out in the middle of solving the problem to grab drinks with a friend. By the time I returned, someone else had submitted a solution.

    Damn.

    I landed a more stable job to handle a project’s developer relations shortly after, though. It paid $7k/month with bonuses up to $5k. I did that for about four months. During that time, I took a small break from working on multiple blockchain projects to focus on the job. 

    I saved and invested aggressively, living only on $1k/month. This time, my savings goal was to get a Golden Visa.

    Why did you want a golden visa?

    I want to travel the world, which isn’t the easiest thing to do with a Nigerian passport. I wanted a passport that’d give me access to pretty much everywhere. So, I learned about the golden visa, and the most affordable option I found was the Portugal Golden Visa. It cost €350k and involved buying property, which would give me a five-year residency. Last last, I could rent out the property and make money from it. I only needed to visit Portugal for one week every year for those five years, after which I’d get citizenship.

    Plus, they don’t pay tax on crypto-based earnings in Portugal, they speak a lot of English, and there’s a relatively big Black community there. It was the perfect option, and I was going to get it. But then I lost all my savings — over $500k in total.

    Wait. How did that happen?

    I’d invested about $80k in Terra in 2021. By April 2022, it had grown to $150k. Then the Luna/Terra coin crash happened, and took my money with it. Honestly, I should’ve known the returns were too good to be true, but shit happens. It was painful, but I still had about $400k in other savings and investments. So, it was like, “Damn, I lost money. Well, I still have money.” 

    I just fell to my knees 

    The plan was to finalise my Golden Visa in November 2022. So, I liquidated the rest of my crypto and stocks in late October and put it all — about $380k — in a crypto exchange, FTX. I didn’t put the money in the bank because I didn’t want anyone asking too many questions or forcing me to fill out forms. 

    It was supposed to be there for a week. Unfortunately, FTX crashed on November 2. I didn’t even know until November 9 because I was busy with work and was ignoring my emails. By the time I found out, my money was gone. If I had heard the news earlier, I could’ve withdrawn some of it.

    Oh my God. I’m so sorry

    I was devastated. I couldn’t take a bath, eat or step outside for a whole week. My security guard even came into the house to make sure I wasn’t dead. I usually struggle with depressive episodes. I’m very sure that if I’d been in one of my low periods when this happened, I’d have killed myself.

    It wasn’t exactly the money I lost that bothered me; it was the freedom it was supposed to bring.

    Ironically, I’d quit my job earlier that year to start my own software development company in February 2022. I was supposed to get a $200k investment grant but got $50k in funding. I also only got 30% of the $50k upfront. The rest was going to come only after we delivered a particular project, so I had to put much of my money into the startup. We had more than 20 staff, and I had to pay almost ₦10m in salaries and other expenditure every month. 

    By the time I lost my savings, we’d already depleted our initial funds, and I had to take a ₦20m loan to pay salaries in November and December. We finished the funding-backed project in December, and I had to tell my staff we were taking an indefinite break till we got back on our feet. 

    Phew. That’s a lot. How did you pay back the loan?

    The 70% balance came in, and fortunately for me, the naira had fallen against the dollar. It was now about ₦700 to $1 from about ₦300 at the beginning of the year. It meant the naira value I got was far more than when we got the first 30%. I was able to use the money to settle the loans I took and still had about ₦26m. 

    I still have a few freelance developers on the payroll for another major project we’re working on, but progress is slow — we haven’t gotten to the point where we have paying customers. Maybe if the investment grant had come in and I hadn’t lost my money, we’d have a working product in the market now.

    What are you up to now?

    I’m definitely more broke than I was in 2022, and I pay more attention to how I spend money. After moping around for months, I went back to bounty hunting for a bit in 2023. Another way I make money now is by participating in crypto communities on Discord.

    How does that work?

    Once you show you’re active by helping to solve problems in the group, the owners reach out and offer you a stipend to continue giving value.

    One group pays me $1k/month. Another group gave me some Joystream coins because I was an early member, and I can always sell them if I absolutely need money. I explore communities to see where I can pitch in and make random $2k occasionally. 

    Usually, I’m sure of earning $1,800 – $2,500 monthly from bounty hunting and the crypto communities. It’s often higher. I’ve made about $8k once. The only downside is that if something goes wrong in the communities, you’re the first person people will yell at since you’re the one answering their questions.

    Out of interest, did you tell friends and family about the money you lost?

    I told my family and some close friends, but weirdly, it didn’t stop people from asking me for money. I’m usually the first person people think about when they need money, and it’s gotten worse since September 2023. Maybe I’ll blame Tinubu for it, but everyone suddenly became broke. 

    In a day, I’d get like 2-3 calls from people seeking financial assistance. It got so bad I had to change my number. I gave a few friends the new number, and now I’m even considering changing it again. Almost every day, someone asks for ₦20k or a ₦100k loan.

    What are your monthly expenses like?

    Nairalife #261 monthly expenses

    I still save 50% – 70% of my earnings monthly. Most of the crypto I got from the community is vested and worth about $40k today, but it’s imaginary money. I can’t access it yet, and crypto prices fluctuate wildly to say this is the definite amount I have. I should have access to it in 2025, and I plan to take 50% out to invest in stocks and metals. I’ll also probably invest in local property.

    You’ve been on quite a financial journey. How have your experiences impacted your perspective on money?

    It’s a two-way thing. On one hand, I’m trying to spend more conservatively. I haven’t changed my iPhone in almost two years, and I love having the latest gadgets.

    On the other hand, I’m very aware of how fickle money is. It’s like, I better enjoy this money now because it may not be there tomorrow. I feel like I didn’t enjoy my money the first time around. So, I find myself constantly trying to strike a balance. I still intend to travel the world, so that’s still on my bucket list.

    What do you imagine the next few years might look like for you?

    My current target is a startup visa to Portugal, France or Denmark. People aren’t really going through the golden visa route anymore, and this is one of the best ways to get a stronger passport as an entrepreneur. It means I’ll need to pay more attention to building my startup. I plan to do that with the help of accelerator programs later this year, provided I remember to apply before the deadlines.

    How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1 – 10?

    4. I need to get to the point where I’m making a million dollars a month. You know, to be able to buy things and travel without worrying about how to fund it or get stopped because of my passport. I’d also like to set up education trust funds for my nieces and nephews.

    Have you considered where the $1 million/month would come from?

    Income from work projects and investments, plus savings. I’m also talking to several business partners, and I’m hoping that the law of averages alone will ensure at least a few of the projects go my way.

    I’ll be able to diversify my investments once my startup starts making money. I believe that’ll happen soon because I’m serving a growing market and offering solutions for a need that has been underutilised. I’m also looking to become an angel investor for startups or maybe even venture capital within the next three to five years. 

    Interesting

    Earning $1 million isn’t just for spending sake, though. It’ll be a great financial security for me and my family, but I’m also looking to invest in lessening the effects of climate change and food and water insecurity. 

    I believe we’re on the brink of a major food and environmental problem in Africa. If Niger or Mali decide to block River Niger, our water supply is cut off. We must figure out ways to trap water from the environment, reforest our semi-arid areas and even consider renewable energy. I’m interested in these issues, and making that kind of money would mean I can contribute to solving them.


    If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.

    Find all the past Naira Life stories here.

  • How to Spot a Crypto Bro/Sis When You See One

    They have “.eth” on their Twitter handle

    It doesn’t matter whether or not they have actual Ethereum. It’s a title you get when you go from owning paper money to computer money. It comes with the funds. We didn’t make the rules.

    There’s an ape on their Twitter avi

    If you’re wondering what’ll make a grown person use a picture of an ape wearing sunglasses as their profile picture, look no further. It’s crypto.

    They talk about crypto all the time

    Once they start to mention Bitcoin and NFTs a little too often, just read the handwriting on the wall.

    They don’t talk about crypto at all

    If they never mention crypto to you at all, it’s probably because they’ve made plenty money from it and are aggressively avoiding billing.

    They’re richer than their 9 – 5 suggests

    We know we like to tell you to mind your business, but some people have money that makes you curious. If you see someone like that and you’re sure they’re not a trust fund baby, just know they’re likely a crypto sis or bro. In fact, the 9 to 5 is probably a hobby.

    They have the Luno app on their phone

    Last last, they can hide everything but they can’t hide where they keep their plenty funds. If you spot the Luno app on their phone, just ask them to show you the way because their money is long. 

    But first, you need to download the app and sign up too, so you can easily buy cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Litecoin, and Ethereum, and keep them safe till they help you blow.

  • How to Bill Abroad People the Right Way

    Call them and start crying

    Normalise calling your abroad folks in the middle of the night just to cry, so they can know that there’s fire on the mountain, and the mountain in this case is your bank account.

    Tell them you want to know what foreign currency feels like

    If you know anything about abroad people, you’ll know they’re always eager to tell you how nice everything is abroad. So, why not have them extend the gesture to what the currency feels like too?

    Remind them of when you were in the trenches together

    Make them nostalgic with throwback pictures of when you were both in Nigeria, then follow up with stories of how everything is hard and you need urgent ₦‎2k to see front. It’ll be in your account before sundown.

    Offer to send them dry kponmo

    It doesn’t even  have to be kponmo, but something that’s hard for them to find abroad would definitely slap. Stockfish and Maggi cubes  can work wonders.

    Tell them you found land in the village

    They want somewhere to tie down their dollars and pounds, and that’s where you come in. You can find them a piece of land in the village and bill them to pay for it. It might not be your money but at least it’ll touch your account.

    Make it easy for them to send you money

    Getting them to agree is one thing, but how you’ll receive the money is another. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by not planning it well. Luckily, there’s Busha to help you take away the headache of receiving money from people abroad.

    If you run a business, are a freelancer, or just need to receive crypto payments from abroad, you can easily get paid internationally using Busha Commerce. All you have to do is sign up on their website to get started.

  • You’ve Wandered Into Crypto Twitter If You See Any of These Things

    You stop seeing the typical Nigerian tweets

    So you mean no one is insulting another person’s daddy over a small disagreement? Where am I?

    But you see “.eth” everywhere

    Once you start seeing usernames that end with “(3,3)”, mentally take off your shoes and brace yourself. You’re at the entrance to crypto Twitter.

    You don’t understand anything

    Just know you’ll start seeing words that make no sense. You’ll scroll through your feed thinking “Wetin be FUD?” and “Which one is GMI again? Golden Morn?” 

    Everyone talks like they have money

    It doesn’t matter that the market is down and everyone’s wallet is in tears. Once a rich person, always a rich person.

    You start seeing “fiat” too often

    On top of that, they constantly shade the paper money you still don’t have.

    Memes… everywhere!

    Nobody makes jokes like crypto folks. So, if you start seeing too many memes, you’re probably in crypto Twitter. Even if everything else vexes you, you can at least laugh at the memes.


    They say if you can’t beat them, join them. To join crypto Twitter, you need to first own some crypto yourself. You can do this easily on the Luno app, which allows you buy cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Litecoin and Ethereum. Download the app and sign up to get started.


    Crypto Dictionary

    (3,3) – “Good morning”

    FUD – Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt

    Fiat – Paper currencies like naira, dollar etc.

    GMI – “Gonna make it?”

  • Do These 7 Things to Prepare Yourself For The Next Crypto Boom

    Get your money up

    You can’t “blow” with crypto in the true sense of it if you don’t have money to put in. So get the bag, stack up your cash, and get ready to lambo. If you don’t know what that means, You’re NGMI.

    Learn about it

    If you’ll make any money from crypto, you should at least know what it is. Do your research so the money you’re investing doesn’t turn into school fees for not knowing what you should know.

    Find friends to invest with

    You can’t find all the good stuff alone, so you need your friends to get into crypto with you. Where’s the joy in “blowing” alone anyway?

    Have a strong mind

    Crypto can be volatile, so you need to be the kind of person who won’t burst into tears after seeing their money drop 50% in one day. Because it can also do a backflip and turn into 100% in one night.

    Buy the dip

    Things are cheap now, and it’s the best time to get in. You don’t want to start running helter-skelter when people start screaming “To the moon!”.

    Wait it out

    You’re not going to blow in one day. So after putting money in, you still have to wait for the bull run to carry you “trabaye” like Asake said.

    Use a good exchange to keep your coins safe

    Safety is the most important thing in crypto. If you lose your coins, you lose everything. You need an exchange that won’t stress your life as you’re trying to lambo, and that’s where Bundle comes in. Bundle allows you to easily buy and trade over 80 cryptocurrencies, from Bitcoin to Ethereum and SHIBA. All you have to do is download the app and sign up to get started.

  • We’re All Doing These 7 Things the Moment They Invent Time Travel

    Go back and tie up Lord Lugard

    Because why will he decide to go down in history as the architect of everlasting stress? Can he see the mess he made? Does he think it’s funny?

    Or at least go back and stop Buhari

    If 1914 is too far, we should at least be able to go to 2015 and erase everyone’s memories of the name “Buhari”. Maybe the exchange rate won’t be looking like it’s ascending to heaven today.

    Buy dollars before it crashed

    We’re definitely going back in time to when $1 was ₦‎150. No complaints.

    Secure a second passport

    If those parts of history refuse to change because Nigeria’s destiny has too much strong head, we’ll go back in time and arrange japa for our parents. Let’s prevent life from leading us 1-0 by getting a second passport.

    Stop semo from being invented

    We have no choice but to find the person who first thought semo was a good idea and give them a dirty slap.

    Go back and buy bitcoin

    Some people have decided they have dream jobs. They can stay in 2023 and have all the jobs they want. As for us, we do not dream of labour. We’re going back to 2009 to buy Bitcoin for $1. WAGMI in the mighty name of God.

    Then come back to 2023 to cash it out with Bundle

    What’s the point of going back in time to buy Bitcoin for $1 if we can’t spend it? So, when we’re done, we’re taking the time machine right back to 2023 to sell it all now that it has turned into blood money.

    That’s where Bundle comes in. They have over 80 cryptocurrencies from Bitcoin and Ethereum to SHIBA. Even if a time machine never comes, you can trade these cryptocurrencies and get the bag for yourself in 2023. All you have to do is download the app and sign up to get started.

  • Cryptocurrency and Entertainment; On a New Level

    By: Oluwakemi Olamikanra – Writer, Yellow Card 

    In the past year, the sports industry has ridden the crypto wave without a summit in sight. From ambassador and sponsorship deals with athletes to sports clubs allowing fans to pay for game tickets with crypto, the sports sector seems to have adapted to crypto pretty quickly. 

    In addition, the gaming industry, media, and art industries are also joining this new wave as we gradually but surely enter into a new age of financial freedom. 

    According to an article by Ahmed Shabana, founder of Parkpine Capital, an early-stage venture capital fund – the entertainment industry is poised to reinvent its business functions and facilitate secure, transparent, and traceable transactions with crypto.

    Crypto is progressively becoming a preferred option for the entertainment sector at large and, more specifically, for the music industry.

    Collaborations between crypto and the music industry, which were at first unprecedented, have advanced in recent times as more artists and record labels join the crypto train. A few notable examples are Grammy Award-winning Nigerian artiste Burna Boy and his partnership with Chipper Cash, and prolific South African rapper; Casper Nyovest representing Bitcasino as an ambassador.

    More crypto companies like Roqqu, Luno, and Quidax, to mention a few, are joining the music partnership bandwagon.

    Crypto has even made its way into music videos. In the recent hit “Cryptocurrency” by Kuami Eugene and Rotimi – they explore a futuristic sci-fi world in which they mine cryptocurrency individually, then collaborate to mine it together.

    In this video, leading African crypto exchange and financial platform, Yellow Card is referenced, and a transaction is carried out on the Yellow Card app. 

    A partnership like this is an indicator of just how well crypto and art can be integrated for more robust expressions in the entertainment industry.

    Rachel Akalia, Regional Marketing Manager, West Africa at Yellow Card, says, “We see music as a special purpose vehicle with the potential to drive the message and acceptance of crypto for everyday use, helping the continent gain financial freedom and prosperity.”

    Other than this alliance with Kuami Eugene, Yellow Card has also collaborated with Nigerian musician; Psycho YP, who featured the company in his recently released music video for his Stronger song which features Zlatan.

    The company has other partnerships with Nigerian Urban artist; Odumodu Blvck and Ghanaian artist; Stonebwoy. 

    Through partnerships like this, Yellow Card hopes to encourage youths to embrace a new age of financial opportunities. This is keeping in alignment with its vision of enabling a continent with seamless financial inclusion across borders.

    The possibilities are endless for what can be achieved with cryptocurrency, digitisation and Decentralised Finance in entertainment. From smart contracts to automated payments, better-organised teams across borders, and more, cryptocurrency might be the key to unlocking a greater dimension of how entertainment is created and shared across Africa and the world at large.

    As Kuami says in his song, with cryptocurrency, we’re indeed on a new level. 

  • You Can Make It With Crypto If you Do These 7 Things

    Pay your house rent first

    There’s a good chance you’ll lose all your money and end up sleeping under a bridge somewhere. Pay your rent in advance so you don’t see shege.

    Have one last look at your pocket

    Whether you actually hammer or not, your pocket will never remain the same. Take one last look at it and savour the moment.

    Only invest what you can afford to lose

    If you think sleeping under a bridge is too harsh, and you want to avoid stories that touch, don’t invest more than you’re ready to lose. 

    Start famzing crypto Twitter

    Now that you have your crypto school fees in one hand, the next step is to join crypto Twitter. Steal a picture of a cartoon ape and use it as your profile picture. Change your username to “kinikan.eth”, start looking for similar accounts, and one by one, your brethren will find you.

    Learn the language

    Crypto Twitter has many abbreviations and you need to learn all of them. “GM” is “good morning”, HFSP is “Have fun staying poor” and “WAGMI” means “We’re all gonna make it”. If you enter crypto without knowing the language, you’re not going to make it.

    Learn how crypto works

    Before you actually put your money into it, learn how crypto works so you don’t get rug-pulled or watch your money go up in flames. We heard Luno has a lot of learning resources to help you get into crypto like a pro.

    Use a good exchange to buy your first crypto

    You can’t hammer if you keep your money in a place that gives you sleepless nights. Find a crypto exchange that allows you to buy the best coins easily. Luno is a good example. It lets you buy Bitcoin, Ethereum, Litecoin and other cryptocurrencies as easily as cooking noodles. Download the app and sign up to get started.

  • 8 Life-Saving Tips You Need to Survive in Crypto As a Newbie

    First, you’ll need earmuffs

    When people start screaming “10x”, “200x”, and “to the moon!” plug in your earmuffs and face your front. You’re just a beginner, and it’s all a setup to send you back to your village.

    Then, you’ll need plenty of courage

    It’s not easy to watch your money double and then fall back to half the original amount within one week without having chest pain. So if you’re going to start, come with a strong mind so nothing can faze you.

    Start small

    Don’t put your life savings inside something that can somersault you into sapa and wild riches within two market days. Start small, and build your portfolio as you go. 

    And focus on the simple stuff

    If you have a habit of doing oversabi all the time, now is not the time. You’ll see pepper if you don’t calm down. Focus on the simple stuff and learn before you start putting a lot of money in. 

    Have backup funds

    Always remember that even though you’re banking on crypto to help you leave the trenches, you still need to eat. So, have backup funds always so you don’t have to sleep under the bridge because of crypto.

    And other newbie friends

    You can’t find all the good stuff alone, you need friends who know what’s good, and who’ll find good stuff with you.

    Have a target for yourself

    As we said, it’s easy to get carried away. So, have a target for yourself so you can stay focused when the frenzy starts. If not, the market will only carry you where you don’t know.

    Trade with an exchange that makes sense

    Even though you want to “Lambo”, your funds still need to be safe in the process. That’s why you should only trade with an exchange that simplifies things for you. Bundle is exactly the kind of app you need for that.

    You can easily buy cryptocurrencies and trade them on the Bundle app. They have over 80 cryptocurrencies from Bitcoin and Ethereum to SHIBA. Download the app and sign up to get started.

  • How to Find Vex Money When Your 9 to 5 Is What’s Vexing You

    Be a trust fund baby

    The easiest way to have money in this life is to have rich parents. If you’re a trust fund baby, vex money is your birthright and you don’t need to stress to get it. But if you’re not, you’ll have to swallow your pride and look for another option.

    Have a second 9 to 5

    It’s remote work season, and everyone is working more than one job to survive. If one job is stressing your life, ditch it and focus on the other one. In many ways, it’s very similar to having a side chic or side guy.

    Collect a salary advance

    If your job has decided that it wants to stress you, isn’t it only appropriate that you should be getting paid upfront for it? Once your job starts vexing you, collect a salary advance and ghost them.

    Have a sugar daddy/mummy

    Find a sugar daddy or sugar mummy that’ll date you in a way that’ll please God. They’ll be sending you money when you need it and providing moral support when your job stresses you out. 

    Or bill your partner

    If you have a partner, rub their head, cook for them, shed crocodile tears, or even shed real tears so they can pity you and dash you vex money. Just do whatever you need to do collect money from them.

    Have a side business

    You need to have a side hustle that’s not just another job. Because, what if both of them start to move mad at the same time? Where will you run to?

    Trade crypto

    Yes, yes. We know crypto has dipped, but that’s exactly why you should buy it. Remember when you said you’ll buy the dip? Better start doing so now  so you can have “keep your job” money by the time it pops. 

    You can easily buy cryptocurrencies and trade them on the Bundle app. They have over 80 cryptocurrencies from Bitcoin and Ethereum to SHIBA. Download the app and sign up to get started.

  • 7 Nigerians Share their Rollercoaster Crypto Experiences

    Sapa is having a few words with the crypto market right now, but this year wasn’t always like this. Amidst all the “WAGMI” and “LFG” that’ve now become “God abeg”, we spoke to seven Nigerians to know what it was like for them when the numbers were on a rollercoaster.

    Thompson*, 25

    “Being involved in crypto actually changed my life. I wasn’t trading or anything like that, but I was pretty much looking for giveaways. They’re called airdrops. So I’d get some tokens from a crypto project for some reason sha. It may be for trying out a product, or for promoting it. It may even be for signing up at all. These tokens are usually worthless. But when some hype gets into the project, the tokens take off.  

    I’d gotten some worthless tokens from a project, and about four months after, I woke up to $1000 in my wallet because the token had done x80 within a day. That was just the start for me, as I became a full-time hustler for these airdrop projects. I wasn’t sleeping anymore because I had to stay alert for updates. It was a wild time. Sad that there isn’t much action anymore.”

    Dolu*, 26

    “I was in the university in 2020 when I first got into crypto. I had friends who were making money through trading, but I didn’t know anything about that. So I went to a friend for advice and used the ₦66k my dad had given me for a laptop to buy some crypto based on what theyh said. It ended up wiping out all my money, and it caused a huge fight between me and my friend. I guess it was a necessary first lesson. But they helped with some more investment tips that went on to make me over $3k a few months later. At that point, crypto felt like blood money, and I totally forgot I’d even lost money in it before.”

    Maria*, 20

    “My brother was trying to send some money home to us from the UK sometime in 2020, and the process just seemed like hell. No regular channel was working for the amount of money he was trying to send. So he told me to open a crypto wallet so he could just send it there. I did that, and we received the money within a day. That was the first time I used crypto at all, and it was a lifesaver.”

    Ibrahim*, 29

    “Trading futures wan kill me. Na like gambling. In fact, it’s like baba ijebu with a lot of financial jargon. I’ve made about ₦12 million since I started trading futures last year. But I’m pretty sure I’ve also lost more than N₦15 million. I honestly don’t even know why I do it anymore.”


    RELATED: Cryptocurrency: 9 Things You’ll Relate to if You Don’t Understand Cryptocurrency


    Blessing*, 27

    “I bought into crypto in February [2022] when there was a lot of noise and hype. Big mistake. I thought “Omo, there’s money in this thing o. Make I no dull myself”. So I bought into Luna with most of my savings. This was about ₦1m and Luna was trading at around $40 at the time. Almost two months later, it was trading at around $80. I felt like a genius because my money had essentially doubled.

    In May, Luna crashed from $80 to less than a cent within a day. I was completely wiped out. I didn’t even cry. I’ve still not cried yet. I think I’m in shock because how can ₦2m become ₦500 in one day?”

    Biola*, 23

    “I bought Ethereum with some of my feeding allowance back in 2017. I can’t remember exactly how much, but it was a lot of ethereum. I totally forgot about it because it was dormant for quite a while, until 2020 when the hype around crypto became really wild. I checked my wallet and realised I was worth $100k. I wanted to run mad. I’d never seen that kind of money before in my life. 

    I took half of the money out and left the rest so I could look for another version of Ethereum to buy. I’ve not found any sha, and I’ve lost a lot of the money already. I’m holding off until everything starts to pick up again.

    Chika*, 22

    “In 2017, I stumbled on a site I could mine this stupid coin called Dogecoin. It was worthless at the time, and I’d never heard of it. But I knew about mining bitcoin and this one felt much easier than the rest, so I decided to give it a try. My laptop was turned on for days at a stretch because I didn’t want anything to interrupt the process. At the end of the week, I think I had mined about 5,000 units of it, but I was disappointed when I saw the value. It was still less than $1. I left it and shut the whole thing. 

    After Elon Musk scattered everywhere with dogecoin hype in 2020, it went way up, and I’m sure it’d have been worth at least $2,500 at the time. But I don’t even know how to access my tokens so I just chopped my L and faced my front. It was painful sha.”


    *These names have been changed to protect the identity of the subject

    GLOSSARY

    WAGMI – The crypto version of “God go do am” which loosely translates to “We’re all gonna make it”

    LFG  – Let’s f*cking go!

    Wan – to try and do something


    ALSO READ: 14 of the Funniest Nigerian Tweets About Crypto

  • 5 Ways to Become a Crypto Bro in Nigeria

    Cryptocurrency is everywhere. All over social media, you are likely to run into TundeBTC, Amaka.Eth, Ima.sol, and similar nicknames. You want to be one of them but don’t know how to start. Or you’re simply curious about crypto as a concept. 

    This article is for you, welcome.

    Here are 5 things you need to know to be a proper crypto bro and get started as a crypto trader in Nigeria

    1. Do Your Research

    Cryptocurrency, blockchain and other related concepts can seem complex to understand, particularly with the way it is spoken about online. It often comes across as rocket science that can only be comprehended by super geniuses. We can assure you that point of view is a limited one and only exists for gatekeeping purposes. 

    This may sound overly simplistic but all it takes is a google search to start off your journey into demystifying cryptocurrency. There are tons of articles, crypto blogs, podcasts, and youtube videos explaining different terms and concepts within the crypto-blockchain ecosystem. Filter the social media crypto noise and do your own research. A great place to start is this free online crypto academy where all the crypto terms are explained in layman terms for quick understanding.

    2. Use a Reliable Cryptocurrency Exchange

    There are many crypto exchanges online, which is a good thing. The problem however is selecting the right one for you. As a crypto trader, there are certain basic criterias an exchange platform must meet such as low barrier entry, easy KYC process, affordable rates and 24/7 customer service.

    As Nigerians, we need an easier way to get into crypto and exchanges that are tailored to our reality are the best fit. Fortunately, we have several homegrown crypto exchanges like Quidax, Buycoins and Yellow card. They all have amazing features. Quidax has an order book and 0% maker trading fee. Buycoins has instant P2P. Yellow Card has quick crypto-to-cash conversion and vice versa, little to no transaction fees, best rates in the market, plus you can literally trade with just 500 Naira.

    3. Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open 

    Crypto trading requires a significant level of alertness. While it is inadvisable to dedicate every waking hour to monitoring the charts and keeping up with crypto online community discussions; It is necessary to stay up-to-date. Keep your eyes open for change in trends and keep your ears open for trading tips.

    4. Avoid Market Peer Pressure

    Peer pressure in the crypto ecosystem is very real. Even the most experienced traders have fallen prey to it at one point or another. Some might say it’s part of the cryptocurrency experience. Still, crypto peer pressure or FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) can be avoided by always doing due investigation before buying any coin, token, NFT, or investing into a defi or web3 project. The crypto-blockchain ecosystem is as full of scammers as it is full of genuine innovators. Do not let market peer pressure coerce you into staking all your money on a scam project or investing all your funds into a scam coin/token.

    5. Never underestimate security of your assets 

    Online security has never been as important as it is today. If you look up “crypto hack” on the internet, you will find over 10 serious hacks that have happened just this year alone. Your money and assets deserve to be stored in a safe wallet. You deserve to trade on a platform that values the security of your identity and assets. Exchanges like Yellow Card understand this and have fully implemented safety measures to ensure your funds stay protected.

    Conclusion

    Trading crypto is not as mysterious or as exclusionary as social media makes it out to be. 

    You just need two things – research and a solidly built cryptocurrency exchange to get you going. 

    One of the best things about choosing Yellow Card as your crypto exchange is that with just 500 naira, you too can become a Bitcoin Baddie or a Boss.eth. You also get great USDT rates, because what good is your money if you can’t get the best value for it? Sign up to sell USDT at the best rates in Nigeria.

  • 10 Types of Nigerian Crypto Bros You Will Meet Online

    There are 3 things that are certain in this life – death, taxes and the presence of crypto bros on the internet. You may have likely run into a crypto bro or you may have not. Either way, consider this an introductory course into crypto bros.

    Who are Crypto Bros?

    Crypto bros are people who buy crypto, sell crypto or work in the crypto ecosystem. Matter of fact, if you have a crypto wallet, you’re a crypto bro. This community has a very low entry barrier but is very high stress inducing. Think of it as entering a swimming pool that is also a stream, an ocean and a dried up lake.

    Without further ado, let’s meet the 10 types of crypto bros you are likely to find:

    WAGMI Bro

    WAGMI stands for “We are gonna make it”, so you already know this bro is always optimistic. His most used emoji is the rocket emoji. The market can be falling to the depths of tartarus and he will still be posting WAGMI. He’s pitched his tent in the crypto market and that’s where he will remain come hail or highwater.

    Elon Musk Lite

    Imagine Elon Musk as a Nigerian born and bred in Lagos. Now add privilege and capitalism and excess hustling and crypto enthusiasm to the mix. The Elon Musk Lite bro can be found making cryptic tweets and debating in comment sections. Best believe he owns the top 5 cryptos – BTC, ETH, SOL, ADA AND XRP. He also owns USDT and USDC. But he will never admit to owning them unless backed into a corner.

    NGMI Bro

    The Direct opposite of WAGMI bro, “Not gonna make it”. The moment the market dips even a little, he starts calling on the ancestors for help and dragging everybody that has ever tweeted about crypto or blockchain or web3.

    FOMO Bro

    Whenever new cryptocurrency is launched, this bro is right there ready to buy. He is always battling fear of missing out (FOMO) and losing. Yet, he keeps buying coin after coin, and participating in as many airdrops as he can catch.

    The Whales

    The Whales are the crypto big boys, they own and move crypto in large quantities. They rarely speak about crypto but they’re always at the backend moving the market. You’ll probably see them spending your annual salary on a Friday night at Zorya night club or W Bar.

    The Dip Buyers

    These ones wait for the market to dip then swoop in to buy coins and coins. Their motto is #buythedip come rain or shine. The bearish market is when they come alive and are most active online.

    Yellow Crypto Bro

    The chillest of all crypto bros. All they do is Sell USDT, introduce people to crypto and make threads explaining how to trade. If you need the best crypto memes, tips and market advice, they’re your plug. They also know where to get the best rates in the crypto market.

    BTC Boys

    These bros believe in bitcoin supremacy. If it is not bitcoin, they’re not interested. The amount of bitcoin they’re holding might rival that of the crypto whales.

    Founder Bros

    Founder bros are always building or announcing a new product or a new round of funding. Their twitter page has a nice balance of life wisdom, finance tweets and blockchain nuggets.

    The HODL Bros

    These bros are the no retreat no surrender of crypto. If the market likes it, it should fall to the ground, they’re not selling. It is rising to the moon? they still won’t sell.. They will hold on to their coins for dear life.


    Crypto bros can be a handful, especially to non-crypto people, but they are also quite interesting once you get past all the rocket emojis and acronyms.

    If you want a stress-free way to connect to the crypto community and understand how crypto actually works, join the Yellow Card community by checking out the Yellow Card blog or easily buy and sell crypto in Nigeria by signing up. Who knows, you just might become a WAGMI bro or an Elon Musk Lite.



  • “I Want to Die Empty” — A Week in the Life of a Workaholic Psychiatrist

    A Week in the Life is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week


    The subject of today’s “A Week in the Life” is Kelvin Alaneme, a Nigerian psychiatrist in the UK. He walks us through the heartbreaking aspects of his job, navigating a long-distance relationship with his family and juggling multiple businesses because he thrives in chaos.

    A week in the life of psychiatrist rectangle

    MONDAY

    My mornings follow a strict regimen. I’m preparing for a medical exam, so the first thing on my to-do list is to study for two hours when I wake up at 4 a.m. By 6 a.m., I hop on Telegram and Discord to follow up with my cryptocurrency communities. There’s never a dull moment in this group, and this motivates me to keep sharing knowledge and resources. 

    I have to go to the hospital at 9 a.m., but first, I post content about my career, cryptocurrency and immigration tips on my Facebook and Instagram profiles. 

    I’m a specialist doctor at the NHS, so when I get to the hospital, I resume ward rounds. If there’s no consultant around, like today, I become the most senior staff member on-site. I’ll spend the rest of my afternoon reviewing patients, preparing documentation and writing tribunal reports. 

    I look forward to studying and reviewing past questions after work for my licensing exams. I live in the UK, but my wife and kids live in the US. I can’t wait to pass this exam so I can relocate with my family. Which reminds me — I need to call my family before I sleep. It’s 6 p.m. in the US now; if my wife is still at work, we’ll talk briefly, but if she’s back home, I’ll video chat with the children too.

    After the call, all I can think about today is our long-distance relationship. My wife is also a doctor. When I left Nigeria to pursue a master’s in public health in London, she had just completed her US medical licensing exam. She and the kids joined me in the UK but had to leave for her US residency programme — something she’d always wanted to do. We had to come to terms with the prospects of a long-distance relationship. 

    But it wasn’t supposed to be for long. In July 2020, she relocated to New York with the kids. When I completed my master’s later in September, I was going to flee to the US to join them, but in the days leading up to my departure, I received three middle-grade doctor job offers here with juicy salaries and great perks. 

    We started to rethink our plan. The jobs offered me career progression, which I couldn’t get in the US yet as I had not written the US medical licensing exams.  Staying in the US meant I would have to do low-wage jobs while I waited to take the licensing  exams. That meant I would only make enough to cope and would strain my wife’s income. We decided to stay apart for a little longer.

    TUESDAY

    There’s nothing as fulfilling as helping patients with mental illness get better. I’m a psychiatrist, so my job is to diagnose, treat or help people prevent mental illness.

    This is why facing a progressively deteriorating mental illness is the heartbreaking part of my job, especially when I have to have difficult discussions with the family of the patient. I have to explain to them why a patient who initially responded very well to treatment is suddenly not responding again. Or why a patient who was supposed to be admitted for a month has been receiving treatment for six months. Then I also have to tell their families and friends that this is the new normal, that their loved ones may not return as the person they once knew — or return at all. 

    Watching families come to terms with that knowledge — denial, sorrow, pain, defeat — is crushing.  I wonder: if I feel this way for telling them, I can’t imagine how it must be for them who are actually affected. But I have to help them face it. As a professional, finding the balance between objectivity and empathy is the most difficult thing in the world. But this is what I’ve signed up to do, and it is a responsibility I must bear with grace.

    WEDNESDAY

    While I have a full-time job at the hospital, I have my hands in many other places. I run Coin University, a 20,000-member strong community that teaches crypto for free. I also founded CareerEdu, a career mentorship platform which helps skilled Nigerians emigrate to the UK. I’m also a musician running a record label. 

    Sometimes, I wonder how I have time to pursue all these endeavours. I think it’s because my wife is not around. We were talking about it last week, and it struck me that if we lived together, there would be no Coin University or CareerEdu. If I were living in the US, I wouldn’t have time to be starting new businesses up and down. 

    I look at myself and shake my head because it’s just a life of stress. But I’m grateful for my wife. She is patient; she sees the big picture and gives me massive support. Because of her, I can close my eyes and just do what I do. 

    THURSDAY

    Today I’m grateful for immigration. Moving to the UK changed my life. When I first came here in 2019, I worked as a bartender and a waiter, then I taught nursing and medical students in London for nine months until I got my licence to practise as a doctor. I’ve been practising for two years in the UK, and the quality of my life has skyrocketed. I want as many doctors and nurses to move here.

    I’m also grateful for data management: I just retrieved a patient’s medical history and records at the click of a button. I practised medicine in Nigeria for five years, and many of the centres didn’t have functional equipment or the power to run them, and it always broke my heart. Getting told there’s no oxygen when you need it to save someone’s life does things to you. I’ve been in the UK for over two years, but it still blows my mind that CT scans get done in minutes and I can receive MRI results by the next day. 

    I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.

    FRIDAY

    I can smell the weekend! On weekdays, I’m a full-time doctor; at night and weekends, I’m a serial entrepreneur chasing my passions. I’m looking forward to the weekend because I’ll have more time to pursue my other interests. After hospital work today, I’ll check in with my team of developers and designers. 

    Coming to the UK helped me get into tech — I wasn’t always interested. In 2020, I won the Voices of Tomorrow Competition for a healthcare financing solution that will help Nigerians reduce out-of-pocket expenditure. Healthcare is free in the UK, and it’d be nice to create something that’ll help Nigerians get a semblance of that. I now have contacts in Silicon Valley, which scares me as much as it excites me. 

    I love being exhausted and when I die, I want to die empty, knowing that I gave everything I could give. To me, life is an orange, and I’m squeezing out every last drop of juice.


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 a.m. for more “A Week in the Life” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill out this form.

  • What Is Web3 — in Five-Year-Old English?

    If you’ve been online recently, you’ve probably noticed all the tech bros talking about things like Web3, NFTs, etc. With buzzwords like these, it’s easy for us non-tech humans to get confused. But one thing is evident in the midst of all the white noise: something about the internet seems to be shifting.

    In this article, we’ll explore the exciting (and often overwhelming) world of Web 3.0, cryptocurrencies, NFTs, IoT, blockchain, metaverse and all the other buzzwords taking over social media.

    So, what is Web3?

    You know how apps have version numbers? Well, imagine if the internet (the world wide web) were an app.  Simply put, Web3 is the next version of the internet. And to properly explore Web 3, we have to first explain Web 1.0  and Web 2.0. Think of each version of the web as the internet’s life span through a period in modern history.

    Web 1.0 The read-only web

    In computer science classes back in primary school, we were introduced to the concept of read-only memory (ROM). Data stored on a ROM could not be modified — this is what the internet was like back then. People consumed content on the internet without any form of active engagement, and only a  few people were able to create and broadcast content on the internet. Web 1.0 lasted from the end of the 80s till around 2004.

    Web 2.0 The read-write web

    Around the mid-2000s, the internet shifted from web 1.0 to Web 2.0. Social media became a thing, and service-based applications like Uber and Netflix streamlined human communication. The world grew smaller, and the internet shifted from the old broadcast-style medium to a more creator-led system. Think of Web 2.0 as the interactive version of the internet we now use, where everyone can create and interact with content — every like, comment, share, retweet, etc., counts.

    While the internet now permits creation, interaction, and collaboration, this gift has not come without a curse.  We have to give up our data to the big tech overlords who monopolise and profit from it to enjoy the internet.

    Web 3.0 Read-write-own web

    Web 3.0 (also Web3) will distribute the power held by the corporate internet behemoths to everyone on the internet. It is the version of the internet that works for everyone without having to rely on any entity. 

    In Web3, the internet has its own native economy. You don’t need to yield data to companies to gain value on the internet. You have full ownership of your content and can use internet-native currencies (such as cryptocurrencies) to trade with other content creators.

    Think of Web3 as the internet of democracy, where no single company determines what happens to user data or content. The blockchain is free and accessible to anyone and can only be changed if an overwhelming majority of people decide to change it.

    Let’s define some popular buzzwords in Web3

    • First, what is the blockchain?

    The blockchain is a public database that maintains a list of public records called blocks arranged in a chain (get it?). The records include money transactions and other forms of information that change their state over time. The interesting thing about blockchains is that older entries are not altered or manipulated, and everyone can see the history of the information as they change over time. 

    TLDR? Here’s an explainer video:

    Why is the blockchain so important? 

    It’s simple: you don’t need any central authority to confirm the validity of any recorded information on the blockchain. For example, you don’t need a bank to send a debit alert to prove that money has successfully transferred to your friend; you can see it happen in real-time.

    • Cryptocurrencies

    Right now, we rely on middlemen payment processing companies like Paypal or banking apps to transfer money. The processes involved in wealth transfer are slow and expensive. In Web3, you don’t need no other body. Cryptocurrencies, which are based on the blockchain, cut out the middlemen. 

    • NFTs

    NFT (non-fungible tokens) is defined as “a unit of data stored in a smart contract on a blockchain.” But that’s a lot of geek-speak. 

    Simply put, NFTs are a type of cryptocurrency that cannot be changed or replaced by something identical. That said, NFTs are a sort of certificate indicating the uniqueness of a digital item. With Web3, creators have intellectual property (IP) attached to every piece of digital content they produce. What an NFT does is that it marks this IP and stores it on the blockchain. Today, NFTs are popular because they can make digital files content unique, allowing creators to sell them as scarce & tradeable assets. TechCabal has a simple explainer article diving deep into the unreal world of NFTs. Check it out!

    • Internet of Things (IoT) and the metaverse

    The Internet of Things (IoT) promises that everyday objects will have the ability to send and receive data through the Internet. Common examples of IoT devices today are smart home security systems, wearables and shipping container tracking systems. In a world where everything is going digital, the metaverse is a purely online world where people can interact, bringing us into a fully simulated virtual reality. IoT and the metaverse are pretty much digital twins.

    In conclusion: Web3 and the internet of the future

    The idea behind Web3 is to build an internet that benefits everyone. Web3 is powered by peer-to-peer networks, user-controlled data and monetisation. Advancements in blockchain technology, machine learning, the metaverse and IoT, all have vital roles in bringing Web3 to life. 

    Machine learning algorithms are already changing the way we live today through data and predicting decisions close to what a human being would make. Combined with the exciting possibilities of blockchain technology, Web3’s goal to create a more democratic, more connected internet is on the horizon.

    With that being said, the evolution of the internet from web 2.0 to Web3 will probably take decades, as much of the founding blocks of Web3 are still currently being built. You don’t have to feel left out or sink into the despair of cluelessness when you see tech and crypto bros pontificating on Twitter — there’s still a lot of trial and error to be made. However, we do hope that this article gives you an entry-level perspective into the internet of the future.

  • 5 Coins That Could Pay For Your Detty December

    Guys, get in here. We’ve got something to talk about. Believe it or not, December has come. And you know what that means – it’s time to detty everywhere again.

    This year, things will be even dettier. COVID did us dirty last December, so there were no shows or events for us to attend. Now that we’re popping again, it’s events back to back. Biz Wiz already announced. Burna Boy already announced. And we’re still waiting for several other A-listers to drop dates – Olamide, Tiwa Savage, Davido, Teni, Rema, Ayra Starr. Omo, KPK!

    If you’re out here thinking about how to get the funds you need to attend shows, trust us; you’re not alone. Burna himself said it best – “Dangote still dey find money.”

    This year, everyone has been talking mad about crypto. “Buy this coin, buy that coin.” Remember back in April when everything dipped and we were all dragging crypto people on Twitter? Well, the joke’s on everyone else right now. Crypto is back up and all the sinzus are now popping their collars again.

    If you’re still new to the whole crypto thing, you don’t have to be afraid. Several coins could easily jump in the next month or two, and you could invest in them right now to get money for your Detty December.

    We decided to do some of the research work for you, and we’ve got some interesting coins for you to consider right now:

    1. Wakanda Inu (WKD)

    So, this first one is a bit of a newbie. But hey, if everyone can have a meme coin, Africans can get one too!Wakanda Inu is a cryptocurrency that launched a few weeks ago. Even at that, at some point last week its price increased by over 700%. If you missed the gains that DOGE and Shiba Inu (SHIB) gave investors, then you would want to get in on this one.

    Cryptocurrency exchange Quidax is currently giving out 200 Billion Wakanda Inu. You can get info about the airdrop here.

    2. Bitcoin (BTC)

    Bitcoin is the daddy of cryptocurrencies. It was the first coin to be launched, and it’s still the most popular today. This year alone, Bitcoin’s price has grown by 109.4%. So, if you had put some cash into Bitcoin at the start of the year and chilled till now, you’d be sitting on a big stack of cash.

    Bitcoin has been doing some big numbers lately too. Plus, the fact that it’s the most popular cryptocurrency means that it offers the most safety. Bitcoin has a history of making big moves towards the end of the year, so we’re expecting something hooge soon.

    3. Dogecoin (DOGE)

    DOGE is what we call a meme coin. It doesn’t really have a use, but a lot of people on social media love it. And it has caught on since then. This year, DOGE’s price has increased by over 4,000%.

    It’s still making a lot of people rich, and you could invest in it to get some gains in December.

    4. Shiba Inu (SHIB)

    If you’ve got your ears to the ground recently, you must have heard of SHIB. Crypto people have been shouting about it like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. But what if it actually is?

    This year, SHIB’s price has increased by over 10,000%. So if you put just #10,000 into SHIB at the start of the year, you’d probably be rubbing shoulders with Tony Elumelu right now. But, it’s not too late. SHIB may still have a long way to go.

    5. Binance Coin (BNB)

    BNB is a cryptocurrency launched by Binance. We’re especially big on BNB because of how well it has performed this year. BNB’s price has jumped by 1,435% this year, meaning that it has made a lot of people rich for sure. Watch out for this one.

    So, Where Do I Buy These Coins?

    If you’d like to get your Detty December funds sorted, we recommend choosing a trusted exchange that won’t give you any problems. Like Wizkid said, we all want No Stress.

    You can check out a cryptocurrency exchange like Quidax. You can buy all the cryptos we have mentioned in this article on Quidax.

    Disclaimer: The information in this post shouldn’t be taken as investment advice. Cryptocurrencies are great investments, but we recommend that you do your research before buying any crypto.

  • Explaining Crypto to Your 50+ Nigerian Parents

    Telling them about it for the first time

    They’ve probably heard about it on a WhatsApp group and got curious, so they decided to put the school fees they paid to use by asking you about it.

    Then you innocently start mentioning blockchains and wallets

    They’ll follow you till the end of your speech like they perfectly understand, but just know it’s a scam.

    Then you mistakenly mention “invest”

    This sparks all kinds of red flags for them. “Is it like MMM?” “Will they run with my money?”. They somehow start to ask all the critical questions.

    They give up and say they’re not doing it again

    If anything sounds like too much risk, you can expect them to move in the opposite direction.

    But they see you making money from it

    As a wise man once said, “If you no make am, no evidence say you try your best”. They’ll eventually see you balling with the money you’re making from crypto and they’ll get interested too.

    Then they’ll invest

    Eventually, you’ll explain the whole thing one last time and they’ll pretend to understand, but they just want the money. You’ll help them sign up for a crypto exchange like Luno where they can buy some Bitcoin and Ethereum. Their money will go up and they’ll start looking at you like they’re reaping the fruits of their labour.

    Then it dips for a moment and they’re holding your shirt

    They’ll hold you like you’re the one who turned down the price. Even though you explained everything to them from the start.


    Investing in crypto can be a stressful thing. So, why not use an exchange that simplifies it for you and makes it easy to use? A perfect example is Luno, which allows you to buy and sell cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Litecoin very easily. All you have to do is download the app and sign up to get started.

  • The Life of a Crypto Bro Who Loves Living Dangerously

    They don’t own Bitcoin or Ethereum

    They’re the kind to think Bitcoin is for old and boring people who don’t want to take any risks with their money.

    They’re always looking for crazy returns

    Not even MMM can give these people the kinds of returns they want. They want to see a 100x return on their money and they want it before the weekend.

    Their life savings are in crypto

    This wouldn’t be so bad if they put all of their money in Bitcoin or USDT and not a coin they expect to do 1000x in two market days. 

    They’re at constant risk of being homeless

    They’ve risked so much that they’re always anxious about losing everything. Why would you even do that to yourself? Don’t you like peace?

    They don’t do their own research

    That’s how you know they don’t really care about their money like that. They just want to make the quick bucks, so they’ll follow other people’s lead instead. Always do your own research.

    They don’t use Luno

    How can you take someone who says they do crypto seriously when they don’t use a safe and secure crypto exchange like Luno? It’s just wrong.

    Don’t be like these people. You don’t have to live dangerously to make money with crypto. Use Luno and have your crypto transactions happen quickly and safely. The app lets you buy, sell, and store cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Litecoin. All you have to do is download the app and sign up.

  • Do You Recognise These Crypto Slangs?

    NGMI: Not Gonna Make It

    This is crypto speak for you “You no go make am”.

    WAGMI: We’re All Gonna Make It

    This roughly translates to “One day, e go better”.

    FUD: Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt

    This is crypto Twitter’s fancy way of calling someone a bad belle. They’ll usually use it when someone is trying to spread fear about something.

    GM: Good Morning

    In crypto, there’s really no morning. Whenever you wake up is your own morning. But when you do, this is how you greet everyone.

    HODL: Hold

    It’s their own twisted way of saying “Hold on to something with your life”.

    FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out

    This is what happens when you start feeling like you might miss out on the thing that finally takes you out of the trenches. It’s not only limited to crypto, but they’ve decided to hijack the slang for themselves.

    Rekt: Wrecked

    This simply means your own has “finished” and you’re going back to your village.

    Whale

    This is crypto speak for “big man”. 

    When Lambo?

    This is how crypto folks say “God when?”

    Lambo

    This is how crypto folks say “I don hammer”.


    Are you still confused? You can easily trade crypto on the Luno app without having to learn any slang. Download the app and sign up to start trading cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Ethereum and Litecoin, so you can also “lambo”.