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confused | Zikoko!
  • 16 Things Nollywood Still Owes Us An Explanation For

    Nollywood has thrown a lot of things our way, from insane storylines to confusing subtitles, and we rarely get any kind of explanation. Here are 16 things in particular that we really need answers to.

    1. This Jim Iyke flashback:

    I can’t even hate.

    2. This insane movie title:

    The answer: Rihanna *looks away*.

    3. This doctor casually using cooking gas as oxygen:

    Well, she is certainly dead.

    4. This movie poster with North West:

    She is coming for that AMVCA.

    5. Kanayo O. Kanayo in JSS 3:

    Not weird at all.

    6. This babalawo’s jazz:

    Later you will tell us Santa Claus isn’t real.

    7. The fourth cast member’s name:

    Aunty Suzuki!

    8. This guy’s pounded yam:

    9. This helicopter:

    Haters will say it’s photoshopped.

    10. This movie’s synopsis:

    Who doesn’t want to know “the surprise”?

    11. This ghost on the phone:

    Totally legit.

    12. This confusing gunshot:

    13. This not-so-little mermaid:

    No words!

    14. This “sympathetic” cast:

    We simpertize with the producer of this movie.

    15. This intense conversation:

    I mean, I guess.

    16. These cultists:

    Why are these ogas wearing Lakers jerseys, please?

  • Dino Melaye Just Launched An ‘Anti-Corruption’ Book And We Are Just As Confused As You Are

    Our favorite controversial politician, Dino Melaye is in the news again. If you don’t remember what he looks like, here’s a picture to refresh your memory.

    Remember him now?

    He just released a book called “Antidotes For Corruption”, a book about how Nigeria can properly fight corruption. This is hilariously ironic for one reason.

    Because he’s a NIGERIAN POLITICIAN, that’s why. You know what we mean by this. Don’t pretend.

    Wait! That’s not even the best part! The most entertaining first lady Nigeria has ever had, Patience Jonathan, was the guest of honor at this event.

    It’s worth pointing out that Mama Peace is currently embroiled in a court case regarding almost $6 Million she might have gotten through shady means.

    Also present at the event was Senate President, Bukola Saraki, who is currently on trial for false declaration of assets.

    Which probably explains why his face was like this when this picture was taken.

    Saraki even gave a speech. Talking about how the fight against corruption shouldn’t be sensationalized because it is ‘unnecessary and counter-productive.’

    Basically that was him saying that he doesn’t want to be dragged on the front pages of newspapers and social media for being corrupt.

    He even congratulated Dino Melaye for writing such a lengthy book despite Dino’s busy schedule.

    We at Zikoko can bet all our reproductive organs that Dino Melaye didn’t write that book himself.

    Also, there was NO representative from the EFFC.

    They know this whole thing is a sham. LOL

    All this put together, gave Nigerians the chance to do the thing they do best.

    DRAGGING!

    Nigerians went in hard! Let’s start with this tweet from The Sahara Reporters that came with epic shade.

    This tweet from this guy who can’t wait for everything to end.

    This tweet about an epic showdown.

    This tweet from this guy who makes a valid point.

    This tweet about the dream team.

    This tweet from this person that REALLY wants you to see how much of a sham this whole thing is.

    Even the grammar nazis came out to play.

    This tweet about about how the book launch left corruption confused.

    We have no idea who Dino and his people think they’re deceiving but it’s sha not us.

    Because we’re not stupid.
  • So this woman said she had a migraine one day

    Then slept and woke up speaking chinese the next

    You heard me right, my brother…CHINESE

    You don’t believe me? She even went to see doctors over it

    Me, I no believe sha, but you watch it and be the judge

    https://twitter.com/aroueno/status/800786415172911104
  • 1. When someone asks you a yes or no question, you’re like:

    2. When your date asks you to choose a place and you can’t decide

    3. When you’re going out and you just can’t pick something to wear

    4. You, when your homework and TV is facing you and you don’t know which one to choose

    5. When your mom asks if you want amala or rice and you have to think for days

    6. You, when you see your friends making instant decisions

    7. When two people are toasting you and you can’t choose one

    8. You, when someone says you should make a decision on the spot