civil war | Zikoko!

Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

How did you meet?

Pius: Our first meeting was brief. In 1965, I’d come back to town for a two-week Christmas break from Budapest, where I was studying town planning. My father and uncles said they’d narrowed my potential wife down to two women from our village in Emekuku. I was to meet them so a final decision could be made.

Clementine: My father really wanted him to choose me because his father was the village head and I was the oldest of six girls. Our marriage would bolster my sisters’ chances greatly. He even put my immediate younger sister as an option too. But she didn’t make the shortlist.

At the time, I was more focused on getting my teachers training. I was just about 18 years old when these conversations were had.

Pius, how did you make your decision?

Pius: The two final women were both city girls. I met with each of them in their father’s houses, but I clicked with Clemen more. She was beautiful, modern, and you could tell she had a mind of her own. I admired that about her. Back then, people used to call her “Oyibo” because she was tall, slim and had fair skin. She was also fashionable, putting on her English skirt suits and fine jewelry.

My family agreed with my choice, and I travelled back to school in January 1966 as scheduled — just before the famous coup. After they did the traditional marriage, they sent her on a plane to meet me at my university in Hungary.

Clementine: We both still keep in touch with the other woman, who married a good friend of his.

What was a proxy wedding like, especially during the heat of political unrest?

Clementine: The wedding took place in the village, early in April. It was just as big and exciting as any wedding would’ve been. His youngest uncle acted on his behalf during the rites. Then we ate, danced and laughed till nightfall. By the time I left Nigeria, I don’t think the northern killings had started coming to light yet.

Pius: The common Igbo man was still in blissful ignorance till well into May/June.

How long before you got on that plane to Europe?

Clementine: Not up to a month. Both families had to put money together for the trip. In the meantime, I stayed in his father’s house, where they treated me very well, and went to work in the state school every day from there.

I longed to finally reunite with him, but I distracted myself with work and social activities, so I don’t remember ever feeling down. I left that same April.

Pius: When the telegram of her arrival got to me days ahead, I was excited. I couldn’t wait to meet my new wife properly.

But how could you accommodate a wife as a student in another country?

Pius: We managed in my studio apartment. It was just for about ten months till the end of my program. I got stipends from the government as part of the scholarship I was under. Our family sent us an allowance as regularly as they could, and I worked part-time too. The naira was still a strong currency then.

Clementine: Those were some of the happiest days of our marriage. We were young, independent and happy to manage resources together. I don’t think I wanted anything and didn’t get it, and that’s how it’s been throughout our marriage.

Would you say you fell in love at that point?

Clementine: Love? It wasn’t something we really thought about. Were we in love? I don’t think it was one of the parameters that existed when evaluating one’s marriage. But we were happy, committed and felt very responsible for each other’s welfare. I also didn’t mind spending time with him… when his head wasn’t buried in a site plan or book.

Pius: I cared for her deeply then and always. But I fell in love when I saw her black and white portrait and met her for the first time way back in ‘65. I was glad the community chose someone as pleasant as her for me. And being alone in a foreign land together drew us closer. We learnt to lean on each other a lot.

Clementine: But alas, I had to return to Nigeria to set up our home, as he was wrapping things up for graduation.

I found out I was pregnant with our first child a week after I arrived back in Owerri in March 1967. I also found out about the mass killings and unrest, but the East was still mostly safe at the time.

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When did things change?

Pius: As soon as Jack declared war on the East.

I returned to Nigeria in April and went straight to the Lagos state bursary for some paperwork concerning my just concluded university programme. The hostility against me was clear even there in the government office. An official told me I should’ve remained in the safety of Europe. But his meaning didn’t sink in until I got to Owerri some days later.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t have stayed abroad even if I wanted to. My programme was done, and my permit had expired.

Clementine: In Owerri, people celebrated the May announcement of a sovereign state. It was like a grand unending festival in all the major streets. You could see that Biafran flag flying everywhere. It was this fanfare that welcomed my Big Darling back into his city after so long in a foreign land.

I still remember the potent joy and relief we all felt as a people. People were sharing food anyhow. You could be by yourself in your verandah and someone from down the street would come to you with a pot of soup and large pieces of meat.

Pius: But when we went to our village in Emekuku, none of that mattered. They didn’t know or care about the city politics there. All they knew was that their children had been butchered in their thousands for a long time now. They’d seen some of the dead bodies and were satisfied to hear that would no longer happen. That was it.

They would never have imagined what was coming.

Did you settle back in the city or village, and what was that like?

Pius: I was often in the village, as the firstborn son of the village head. But we stayed in Owerri town.

As soon as I got in, I reported to the Eastern State Ministry of Lands and got my posting into the civil service. We got a flat in the government estate and a substantial transport allowance separate from my wages. Everything was all well and good. Then, the war started four months later.

Clementine: My only brother was forcefully enlisted and never returned. But thankfully, Big Darling’s position in the ministry kept him from having to engage in combat.

Before the war started, something happened. Soldiers were usually shuffled across the different regions such that southern soldiers were mostly in the north, and northern soldiers were posted in the south. So the soldiers around Owerri at that time were mostly northerners and some Yorubas.

One day, an army van hit Big Darling’s car, but they still pulled him out and arrested him. When he came home the next day, he was so badly wounded he fell sick for a long time. That period was very trying for me, especially after the simple happiness of our brief stay in Hungary. I was nursing a first-time pregnancy and a convalescent husband, while the talk of war was getting louder.

Pius: By the end of 1967, when Jack’s army started gaining ground, I had to move Clemen to Umuahia, closer to the seat of Ojukwu’s power. I returned to Owerri for some months but went back to meet her when the situation got even worse. When Clemen gave birth to our first child, we named her Mercy because she was such a peaceful baby who didn’t give us much stress as we struggled for our lives.

We eventually had to move into a bunker for several months, and it became impossible for me to travel back and forth.

What was it like nursing a baby in a bunker?

Clementine: She was an easygoing baby. The good thing was we didn’t have to worry about food since there was breast milk. I breastfed her exclusively for almost a year, but not by choice. The labour was hard, but I was fortunate to have had access to a hospital before things got really bad.

Every morning, Big Darling would leave the bunker with the other men in search of food. And the women would start praying and singing praises to God so we’d get to see our husbands again, and if He was extra merciful, they’d have food with them. At night, we once prayed for Ojukwu’s victory, but it soon turned to desperate cries for an end to the war.

Pius: We were starving, and Ojukwu wasn’t intervening. At some point in 1969, he hardly even addressed us. Going out in search of food while our so-called messiah seemed more and more out of reach made me feel shortchanged, like our people had been deeply betrayed by all involved.

We’d spend the whole day queuing for the limited supply of basic food from foreign charities, or searching empty farmlands for even an inkling of crops, or even hunting wild animals. All the while, I’d remember my father’s large farmland in the village, and how we took eating store-bought food for granted.

When we returned at night, I and Clemen would stay tucked in our little corner of the hot shelter, with a sobbing baby in our arms. We’d be quiet while we ate. After they managed to sleep, I’d do my own sobbing. We talked sometimes — about God, faith and hope. To keep hope alive, we made plans for after the war. We talked about the many children we still had to have.

Clementine: We now have six, exactly as we promised ourselves in that bunker. The only thing is we have four girls and two boys, instead of three girls and three boys.

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I’m so happy you made it. What was life like after the war?

Pius: I went right back into the Nigerian civil service, and the new Eastern Central state governor became my friend. He was one of the group of first non-military governors Jack appointed at the time. I worked with the governor’s administration in the efforts to rebuild the state. That made me useful to the government and made my family’s recovery from the war easier.

I became permanent secretary in 1976, and after 15 years in that role, I retired in 1991.

Clementine: I went back to teaching in the ministry. When he became permanent secretary, I went to the UK for my master’s degree. He promised I would, and he kept his promise. It didn’t matter that we’d had three more children by then. My mother took the youngest ones to take care of them while I was away.

My degree was in special education, so on my return, I was promoted to a senior role as coordinator in the State Ministry of Education. I was a pioneer in the field, so I was tasked with setting up a new department. Then I got my UK school to partner with the state government on the project.

They sponsored my trips to attend conferences all over the world, and Big Darling would pay for him and the kids to accompany me. At different times between 1981 and 1984, we went to Paris, London, Florida, Berlin and more. In the evenings, we’d all go out to eat and tour the cities.

It was like the honeymoon we never had, but with our kids. We even went to Disney World once. I’m very fond of these memories.

Pius: I feel blessed that we were able to get a new lease on life after the war. And I got a chance to really take care of my family.

And how has your love life been in retirement?

Pius: It’s been good and peaceful. We’re still in Owerri North where we have all our properties. Our four girls are in Lagos, so we get to visit with them in rotation. Let them be the ones to spoil us now that the tables have turned. One of our sons is in the UK, and the last is here with us in Owerri. Me and Clemen don’t spend as much time together anymore.

Clementine: In the first few years of my retirement, our age difference caught up with us. It became clearer as he entered old age, and I was still middle-aged, that he was no longer willing or fully able to be as social as we were used to. I still very much needed to attend my outings, so I started going alone more.

We also argued more during this time, about everything from the children, our investments, the house decor and travel plans to religion. He was devoted to the catholic church, but I’d found Apostolic Faith.

Pius: In the 70s to 80s, our relatives used to call us each other’s handbags. But from the 2000s, we started growing apart and had to make compromises to stay committed. We decided we’d respect each other’s changes. One cannot expect to be married for close to 60 years and still be the same people we were in our youth.

We’ve made peace with that and continue to care for each other as we always have.

How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1 to 10?

Pius: At this age? 10. What else could I possibly want?

Clementine: 10 for me too. I’m grateful to God for preserving our lives and keeping us together.

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Lolade Alaka

April 13, 2023

Love Life, Ships

civil war, love, Nigerians, relationships
Several decades after the Biafran war happened, very little is being taught about it in schools today. What this means is that there is a large part of our history that will remain unknown if we don’t seek to learn about it ourselves. Over the years, this part of the history of Biafra has been documented in books. If you are looking to get a better understanding, we have provided this list of books as a place to begin.

1. The Nigerian Revolution and The Biafran War by Alexander Madiebo.

Published in 1980, this book presents an account of the Civil war from the point of view of Alexander Madeibo, a retired general of the Biafran Army and one of the right-hand men of Odumegwu Ojukwu, the leader of the short-lived Republic of Biafra.

Here’s an excerpt from the book:

“This book is not intended to serve as political propaganda material for the beneﬁt of any section or group of individuals. It is rather a genuine attempt to render a dispassionate account of the Nigerian revolution and the civil war which took place from January 1966 to January 1970.”

2. Because I Am Involved by Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu (1989)

The leader of the Republic of Biafra, Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu’s perception of the war is considered important. In this text, he reflects on his own role in the war and speaks on the political situation as well as the problems in Nigeria and proffers solutions to these problems. Here’s a notable quote from the book:

Until we are prepared to modify, and sometimes to abandon, our primordial attachments in favour of a new Nigerian relationship, we cannot unite.

3. Sunset in Biafra by Elechi Amadi (1973)

Sunset in Biafra is often dubbed “A Civil War Diary.” This is because it provides a personal account of the civil war. It highlights the experiences of Amadi as an Ikwerre man in the Igbo-dominated Eastern region of the civil war years. Here’s an excerpt pictured from the book.

Source: Twitter.

4.There Was A Country: A Personal History of Biafra by Chinua Achebe (2012)

There Was A Country is a personal account of the secession of Biafra in 1967 and the subsequent civil war that exploded in Nigeria. The book is considered one of the defining works of modern African non-fiction.

5. The Biafra Story by Frederick Forsyth (1969)

This book, written by Frederick Forsyth, an English journalist and author, is an eyewitness account of the war. The first edition of the book was published in 1969, about seven months before Biafra surrendered. In a review for The Spectator, Auberon Waugh touts it as “probably the best [and by far the most complete account] we shall see on the war.”

6. Surviving in Biafra: The Story of the Nigerian Civil War By Alfred Obiora Uzokwe (2003)

When telling the story of a war, the stories of women and children do not receive enough attention or are often left untold. This memoir by Alfred Obiora Uzokwe fills this gap. He tells the story he experienced the war as a child.

7. Biafra: The History and Legacy of the Secessionist Republic of Biafra during the Nigerian Civil War by Charles River Editors (2017)

This book details “details the complete history of Nigeria, dating back to its inception, civil war, and the aftermath of warfare. It incorporates contemporary accounts, online resources, a bibliography, and a plethora of photographs.”

8. Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (2006)

This is the only work of fiction on this list. But it doesn’t detract the quality of the work in any way. The book, written by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie who was born seven years after the war ended, uses a lot of material from interviews and works about the war to paint a humane and honest picture of what life in Biafra was like, and how a war can completely alter a people.

Kunle Ologunro

May 31, 2020

Inside Life

biafra, civil war
If you grew up in Nigeria and aren’t Igbo, chances are that you probably heard about the Nigerian civil war in detail at a later part of your life. This is because shockingly, an important part of our history is left out of the school curriculum. Seeing as we are entering the decade of intense adulting – marriage, and other serious responsibilities are going to spring up. It is important that we don’t let down the next generation as we have been let down. Therefore, it is necessary we all know what happened so that we may tell the people coming after us. To better understand what transpired and to make sure it never repeats itself, here are some books to guide you on that journey.

1) The Making of an African Legend – The Biafra Story.

This an excerpt from the book:

” This book is not a detached account; it seeks to explain what Biafra is, why its people decided to separate themselves from Nigeria, how they have reacted to what has been inflicted on them. I may be accused of presenting the Biafran case; this would not be without justification. It is the Biafra story, and it is told from the Biafran standpoint. Nevertheless, wherever possible I have sought to find corroborative evidence from other sources, notably those foreigners (largely British) who were in Biafra at the start of the war.”

This book paints the transition from independence to the coup that led to the war. It also paints a total picture from where the country started, where it was headed, and how it veered off track. It is told from the perspective of a seasoned war journalist.

2) Oil, Politics, and Violence – Max Siollun.

A gripping excerpt:

“Underestimating the win-at-all-costs mentality of the Nigerian National Alliance (NNA), the UPGA unwisely decided to boycott the elections on the ground that the NNA was planning to rig it… Due to the widespread electoral malpractices, President Azikiwe refused to call Balewa to form a new government following the elections. For several days, Nigeria teetered on the edge of an abyss as the President and the Prime Minister tried to scheme each other out of power”.

3) Why We Struck – Adewale Ademoyega.

Told from the perspective of one of the main coup plotters of 1966, this is an excerpt to show you how gripping the writing style is:

“It was the dramatic end of the regime of deceit, bad faith, ambivalence, misdirection, and misrulership. Ironsi’s regime was a colossal failure”

4) The Nigerian Revolution and The Biafran War – Alexander Madiebo.

The book starts with this excerpt:

“This book is not intended to serve as political propaganda material for the beneﬁt of any section or group of individuals. It is rather a genuine attempt to render a dispassionate account of the Nigerian revolution and the civil war which took place from January 1966 to January 1970.”

5) The Tragedy Of Victory – Godwin Alabi-Isama.

Excerpt:

“My attraction to the army was rather unusual because there was nothing military about it. It was not borne out of the usual big talk of love for the fatherland to fight to save the country in the face of external aggression, or against centrifugal forces aiming at getting the country disintegrated. I was 19 years old in 1959 when I first saw the army march past at Oke Bola in front of Ibadan Boys’ High School (IBHS). I neither knew nor even suspected any potential threat to our country’s socio-political stability. But with the benefit of hindsight today, I can say that some important people might have known that real challenges confronted the nation and so did some senior military officers at that time.”

The best part of this book is the use of pictures to tell stories and the way the author takes you in the transition from peace to war using his life to map timelines. You also go from boyhood to manhood and from peace to war.

6) Surviving Biafra: A Nigerwife’s Story by Elizabeth Bird and Rosina Umelo.

The book draws you in with this introduction:

“One cold morning in 1950s London, Rosina (‘Rose’) Martin struck up a conversation with a young Nigerian on a station platform—Royal Oak, she recalls. The two were worlds apart; John Umelo, born in Eastern Nigeria, had come to London in the waning days of colonialism, ‘thinking the streets were paved with gold’. Rose was born and raised in Frodsham, Cheshire, a small market town of barely 5,000, about sixteen miles south of Liverpool. Over the next days and weeks, their relationship grew; defying social norms, they first lived together, had a son, and then married in 1961.”

This book is important because it tells the story from a civilian point of view and it is therefore apolitical, unlike many stories that are told by participants of the war. It is also from the perspective of one of the few women who have written about the war. It narrates what it feels like to be caught up in the war as an ordinary person.

Did we miss any book that paints an objective view? Let us know in the comments section.

Hassan Yahaya

January 16, 2020

General

books, civil war, Nigeria
You have to be sleeping on a Keke not to know this badass Ugandan actress called Florence Kasumba.

She’s the woman that slayed our lives with just one line in Captain America: Civil War.

Like seriously, this was our reaction when she delivered that line.

And because the whole world has recognised her awesomeness, the 40-year-old actress is set to feature in the 2017 DC movie, Wonder Woman.

Florence is set to play the role of Senator Acantha, one of the notable characters in Wonder Woman’s comic universe, Themyscira.

However, details of Senator Acantha’s role in the movie haven’t been revealed by the movie producers.

While seeing her in Wonder Woman would be an amazing experience, abeg she should feature in the forth-coming Black Panther movie so she can give us life one more time.

Maryam

July 21, 2016

Gist

Captain America, civil war, florence kasumba, wonder woman

How did you meet?

Pius, how did you make your decision?

What was a proxy wedding like, especially during the heat of political unrest?

How long before you got on that plane to Europe?

But how could you accommodate a wife as a student in another country?

Would you say you fell in love at that point?

When did things change?

Did you settle back in the city or village, and what was that like?

What was it like nursing a baby in a bunker?

I’m so happy you made it. What was life like after the war?

And how has your love life been in retirement?

How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1 to 10?

1. The Nigerian Revolution and The Biafran War by Alexander Madiebo.

2. Because I Am Involved by Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu (1989)

3. Sunset in Biafra by Elechi Amadi (1973)

4.There Was A Country: A Personal History of Biafra by Chinua Achebe (2012)

5. The Biafra Story by Frederick Forsyth (1969)

6. Surviving in Biafra: The Story of the Nigerian Civil War By Alfred Obiora Uzokwe (2003)

7. Biafra: The History and Legacy of the Secessionist Republic of Biafra during the Nigerian Civil War by Charles River Editors (2017)

8. Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (2006)

You have to be sleeping on a Keke not to know this badass Ugandan actress called Florence Kasumba.

She’s the woman that slayed our lives with just one line in Captain America: Civil War.

Like seriously, this was our reaction when she delivered that line.

And because the whole world has recognised her awesomeness, the 40-year-old actress is set to feature in the 2017 DC movie, Wonder Woman.

Florence is set to play the role of Senator Acantha, one of the notable characters in Wonder Woman’s comic universe, Themyscira.

However, details of Senator Acantha’s role in the movie haven’t been revealed by the movie producers.

While seeing her in Wonder Woman would be an amazing experience, abeg she should feature in the forth-coming Black Panther movie so she can give us life one more time.