Chill | Zikoko!

1. This pastor’s interests:

Oshey new age pastor.
2. This unforgiving lender:

See this one.
3. This unsatisfied wife:

8 rounds? When it’s not tennis.
4. This film poster with North West:

From where to where?
5. This vengeful ghost:

Lmao. They didn’t even try with this ‘ghost’.
6. This very descriptive madam:

*COUGHS*
7. This effective metaphor:

Well, that’s an interesting way to phrase it.
8. This incredibly weird request:

We don’t even want to know.
9. This scene that defies explanation:

We have no words.
10. This honest confession:

He is just speaking his mind sha.
11. This insanely weird question:

Wait, WHAT?
12. The case of the missing pant:

Cynthia has a point.
13. See ehn, we are done.

Lmao. What is this, abeg?
14. This creepy threat:

Ah! Just like that?
15. This brand new word:

‘Sexically’ is our new favourite word.

Daniel Orubo

July 21, 2016

Oldies

Chill, Nigeria, Nollywood, yoruba movie
1. When your relatives give you money and your parents collect it from you immediately.

Wow, no chill at all.
2. And when you ask for it, you’re ungrateful because “All the food you’ve been eating here nko”.

I didn’t even know I had to pay for food, but okay!
3. When they say “Tell me the truth, I won’t get angry” and then proceed to start shouting.

I thought we had a deal!
4. When you tell your mum you’re in love and she calls a family meeting.

I’m not even here.
5. And these are your parents every Valentine’s day till you’re 21.

But they want you to marry o!
6. According to them, every bad thing that happens to you is because you’re always pressing your phone.

How??
7. When you say you want to visit your friends and they proceed to almost ruin that friendship by asking “How many times have they visited you?”

Thanks for that.
8. When they miss no chance to compare you to your ‘better behaved’ friend.

“Just look at how polite Mrs. A’s son is…and you you will be shouting like a conductor”.
9. When you tell them you want to study Theatre Arts and they just breakdown because you have disgraced the family.

You want all my hard work to be in vain?
10. When you make the mistake of enjoying yourself after failing an exam.

“Is this how you want to live your life?”
11. When you’re rude to your mom and she starts reporting you to everybody.

I’m so very sorry. Please.
12. When you ask for a little freedom and they start giving you examples of people who had freedom and are now misbehaving in society.

Okay! Okay! I’ll stay inside.
13. How they look at you when you bring your friend that is smarter than you home.

So do you people want to give me away now?
14. When visitors come to the house and your mom has downloaded your progress to them in less than five minutes.

WYD, ma?
15. When you’re gisting with your dad and he suddenly turns the joke into a lecture.

Every damn time!
16. When you’re sick or sad, but your mom tells you that the pot won’t wash itself.

WOW!
17. When you wear ripped or distressed clothes and attempt to leave the house.

What were you thinking?
Because our parents have #ZeroTolerance, best to have Orijin Zero to step down.

At least they can’t complain that it has alcohol…

Odunayo

April 11, 2016

Oldies

Chill, orijin, parenting, Parents, sponsored, youth
Ever heard music is everything? There are certain times you really need music especially Afrobeats to either get you hyped, confident, relaxed or less nervous. We made a list of Afrobeat songs you should listen to before a job interview. Come thank us when the interview goes well.
1. Wizkid – Ojuelegba

Considering you are coming from a rough past and you need something to relate to, to get you determined to get the job.
2. My Woman – Patoranking ft. Wande Coal

Are you in a relationship and trying to get a better paying job to cover expenses properly? This is the song to motivate you.
3. Adonai – Sarkodie ft. Castro

Quite the religious person? And you need something with a steady tempo to relax your mind and remind yourself “you know what time it is”. This is your song.
4. Owo Ni Koko – Davido

Is the money your motivation to succeed? You heard you will earn twice what you were earning previously? This is the pre-interview song for you.
5. Ashimapeyin – Wande Coal

Sometimes you may get ahead of yourself and skip the line, because you are too eager. Chill, calm down listen to this and relax.
6. Hol’ It – Shatta Wale

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMZBKA4amYw
This steady paced Afrobeat song will put you in the groove and ready for your interview. Going to have you ready to Hol’ it (the job)
7. Godwin – Korede Bello

This is probably the best Afrobeat song to listen to before an interview. Makes you confident you already landed the job.
8. Shoki – Lil Kesh

This is a motivational, hype, energizing song to put you in the mood! *Disclaimer: we said “listen to” before your interview, not dance to.
9. All Eyes On Me – AKA ft. Burna Boy, Da L.E.S., JR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc3b-G4NPx8
Put yourself on the spot by listening to this. If you work better under pressure, this song will get your adrenaline levels up for action.
10. Dorrobucci – Mavins

The hit single from the Mavins has everything to do with getting you ready for a job interview.
11. Don Gorgon- Burna Boy

This song puts you in the “Don” mood. What else do you need to put your confidence level on a 100?
12. Soke – Burna Boy

This perfectly paced song will put you in a very relaxed mood, ready and calm enough to wow the interviewing panel. What are your own favorite afrobeat songs to listen to before a big event?
What are your own favorite afrobeat songs to listen to before a big event?

Tobi Smith

January 15, 2016

Oldies

Afrobeat, Calm, Chill, Hype, Job Interview, music, nigerian music