We asked AI to share a full guide, and it’s response? “Sure, here’s a humorous take on staying in a marriage with a cheating partner in Nigeria.”
Master the art of selective hearing
When your friends start whispering about your partner’s escapades, develop the skill to only hear compliments. “Did you hear he was with that girl?” magically transforms into, “Did you hear he bought you a new car?”
Enroll in advanced detective training
Become Nigeria’s next Sherlock Holmes. Follow clues, check phone messages, and decode cryptic texts. You’ll be so good that even the local police will ask for your help in solving cases.
Perfect your poker face
No matter what bombshell news comes your way, keep a straight face. Channel your inner Nollywood actor. Your reaction should be so composed that it makes news anchors look like they’re overacting.
Join the “don’t ask, don’t tell” club
Adopt the policy of blissful ignorance. If you don’t ask about their whereabouts, they won’t tell you lies. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
Become an Instagram detective
Who needs private investigators when you have social media? Check tagged photos, comments, and new followers. Be the Sherlock Holmes of Instagram stories.
Develop an appreciation for bad excuses
When they come home late smelling of unfamiliar perfume and mumble something about a “late-night office meeting,” smile and say, “Of course, dear. Those office meetings must be really aromatic.”
Keep a diary of creative excuses
Document every outlandish excuse they come up with. One day, you’ll publish a bestseller: “The Encyclopedia of Spousal Excuses.” It’ll be a hit, especially in the humor section.
Turn to Nollywood for inspiration
Watch Nollywood movies for strategies. See how the characters deal with cheating partners. Dramatic confrontations, fainting spells, and breaking plates are all valid options.
Create an imaginary friend
When things get tough, talk to your imaginary friend about your troubles. They’re always there to listen, never cheat, and have excellent advice like, “Have another slice of cake.”
Keep a stash of comfort food
Always have your favorite comfort foods on hand. There’s no problem that pounded yam and egusi soup can’t solve, even if it’s just for a little while.
Plan elaborate fake business trips
Whenever you need a break, plan a fake business trip. Post pictures from random locations, and enjoy your “me time.” Bonus points if you can get your partner to believe you’re actually on a work trip.
Join a support group
Find like-minded people who understand your plight. Meet regularly to share stories, tips, and a good laugh about the absurdities of life with a cheating partner.
Embrace the power of prayer
Attend church services and pray fervently. If nothing changes, at least you’ll have a direct line to divine wisdom. Maybe your prayers will even inspire a miraculous transformation in your partner.
Learn the art of subliminal messaging
Subtly leave books like “Faithfulness for Dummies” around the house. Play songs with lyrics about loyalty. Perhaps some of it will seep in through osmosis.
Develop a sense of humor
At the end of the day, laughter is the best medicine. Laugh at the absurdity, the drama, and the ridiculousness of it all. After all, if you can’t laugh, what can you do?
ChatGpt’s Disclaimer: This listicle is meant for humor and entertainment purposes only. Cheating in a marriage is a serious issue, and it’s important to seek professional advice and support when dealing with such situations.
Hope you enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek guide!
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