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celibate | Zikoko!
  • 7 Truths A Lot Of People Don’t Tell About Being Celibate

    People go celibate for different reasons (all of which should be respected), but one thing I’m tired of is people making it seem like celibacy is easy. That’s a bloody lie. 

    Here are some hard truths about celibacy that people hardly share.

    1. You are at your horniest when you are celibate.

    During celibacy, the horniness in you is 10x greater than the horniness in the world.  Do you realise how much brainpower it requires to stay celibate when omega levels of konji are rattling around inside you? It’s insane.

    2. Clarity doesn’t come immediately.

    Contrary to what people on Twitter say, clarity doesn’t come the moment you start the journey of being celibate. Infact, some people spend a long time suffering in horniness and the clarity just never comes.

    3. Celibacy can make you see double.

    This is not a joke. Celibacy can make you hallucinate and have weird sex dreams. (Don’t ask me where I got my stats from.) But for real though, you can get so horny and eventually give up your celibacy to someone you thought was “worth it”.  

    4. Celibacy won’t stop you from being a hoe.

    The hoe in you won’t pack up shop and leave because you’ve chosen to be celibate for the time being.  Your inner hoe is going to be reactivated the second you’re back to being sexually active. 

    5. Flashbacks keep attacking you like the thief in the night.

    Abstaining from sex won’t set you free from flashbacks. They’ll attack for no reason at the oddest times and in the weirdest places. The strength to stay sane while dealing with flashbacks during celibacy can only come from God. 

    6. You don’t have to make being celibate your entire personality.

    Celibate people are like vegans in the sense that they will probably pass out if they don’t let the world know that they’re celibate. We know the horniness in you needs expression, but that doesn’t mean you need to express it to everyone you cross paths with.

    7. You are actually jealous of sexually active people. 

    Between you and your private parts, you know you’d rather be sexually active and your celibacy journey is a lot harder than you imagined it would be.  You know you’d rather be getting slutted out seven ways to Sunday, but you are waiting for the gift that comes from being celibate. 

  • 10 Nigerian Songs You Shouldn’t Listen To When You Are Trying To Stay Celibate

    Celibacy can be a tough journey, at some point during celibacy, you start to ask yourself if sex is really a sin. Celibate people have no business listening to any of these songs. Face Jesus please, don’t face us.

    1. Naira Marley X Busiswa – Coming

    The only thing that is coming to you is the wave of horniness that is about to hit you. No one is coming to you and you are not cumming anywhere either. Save yourself.

    2. Naughty Girl – Wande Coal

    The only thing that is naughty right now is your decision to listen to this song. You can’t even be folded and treated like a naughty girl, why are you now tormenting your thoughts?

    3. Wizkid x Tems – Essence

    This song won’t only test your celibacy, it will make you want to text your good for nothing ex. This isn’t the first time we are warning you. There’s no one to hold your body, better hold yourself. 

    4. Ruger – Bounce

    Are you bouncing your body or are you getting bounced out? That’s entirely up to you. 

    5. Adekunle Gold x Lucky Daye – Sinner

    We are not trying to spoil Adekunle Gold’s market, oh no, that’s not what we are doing. We are simply looking out for you before you become the sinner that you’ve been trying not to be. 

    6. Lojay x Sarz – Monalisa

    Avoid this song by all means, please. Even people who are actively having sex are avoiding the song, so they don’t get too carried away. 

    7. Soundgasm – Rema

    Omo, even sexually active people shouldn’t listen to this song too much. 

    8. Wizkid x Burna Boy – Ginger

    This song won’t make you horny, no it won’t. Infact you’ll be annoyed, especially when Burna starts shouting, because of ordinary sex. 

    9. Lojay x Sarz – Tonongo

    Maybe you should just avoid Lojay completely because there is no song of his that won’t make you question your choice to be celibate. What ass cheeks are you making go tonongo? None. Only you and your bed. 

    10. Blaqbonez x Tiwa Savage – BBC

    This song is especially dangerous for celibate women. The last thing you need is Tiwa Savage singing in your ear about sex and BBCs when you’re trying to say no to sex.