Everyday deserves to be celebrated and we’re here to help you figure out what you should be celebrating next.Take this quiz to find out what it is.
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If you aren’t a fan of celebrating your birthday, then you’ve most likely done a couple of these:
1) Turned off your phone on your birthday.
Leave me alone.
2) You’ve explained that it’s just your birthday you don’t like celebrating.
“It’s me, not you.” I like your own birthday, I just don’t like mine.
3) You’ve begged friends not to throw a surprise party or shenanigans.
Please, guys.
4) On your birthday, you’ve probably thought about getting one year closer to death.
Alexa, play Born To Die by Lana Del Rey.
5) Over and over again, you’ve explained it’s just like any other day.
Guys, why the fuss?
6) You’ve never posted on social media that it’s your birthday.
Because who will perform all that fake happiness for people? Let’s be guided.
7) Additionally, you’ve also never done photoshoot.
Over your dead body.
8) Or birthday countdown.
It’s one day, not a month abeg.
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Now the week is over, Friday rocks are drawing nigh! Congratulations on surviving five days of cursing alarm clocks, beating traffic to get to work on time and sneaking out successfully before the close of day.
As it’s the start of the weekend (and salary week), you might be wondering if the week’s accomplishments call for a night of debauchery and raising hands with a bunch of strangers in a much too crowded open-floor plan. To help you make your decision, we called upon certain Nigerian politicians to employ their life philosophies to guide your decision making. Pick your choice.
There’s Rice At Home – Bashir Ahmad
You mean Nigeria is producing all this rice Abbah exaggerated about and you’re still going out to club? What is this life please?
Ajeku iya ni o je – Dino Melaye
Are you still owing Escape from last month, but plotting how you’ll shut down Quilox later tonight? Mr Melaye has a word for you. If you’re wondering what this translates to, it means, “the bottom of suffering is what you’ll get”. Trust me, that’s not a good thing.
I am not one of them – Jimi Agbaje
Do you want to be like everyone spending their Fridays drunk and disorderly? It could never be Jimi.
Live within your means – President Bubucakes
He literally said this one too. Don’t spend your Friday outdoing the next guy, slay in your financial lane.
Lol, or not – Again, President Bubucakes.
Go hard or go home.
Step up in the club in two bullion vans – Bola ‘RicherThanYourNext’ Tinubu
If you’re doing it, do it big. That is all.
Buy Nigerian to grow the naira – Senator Ben Murray Bruce
Now, nobody said you shouldn’t go clubbing, but make sure to do it for Nigeria’s progress. That said, if your bottle of Hennessey has “Made in Nigeria” inscribed at the bottom, we’re going to need you to take ten steps back from it.
We will not take it – Godsday Orubebe.
Godsday Orubebe has a word for you this fine Friday, and we’re inclined to second him. You mean you survived this whole week, battled traffic to get to work on time, met your deadlines and still won’t go out to celebrate? Sorry, but that ain’t right.
And remember, All your sins are forgiven – Adams Oshiomole
You might not be a party defector, but whatever happens on Friday night (with consent) stays in Friday night. Go and sin no more.
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1. Today is International Women’s Day, and we are very excited!
2. We know many people are going to celebrate important female figures from past and current history and we love that!
3. But today we want to let all the regular ladies know that they deserve celebration too!
4. First of all, we slay hard at school, getting that education and conquering all those textbooks.
5. And we slay hard at work, breaking stereotypes and doing our part (and more) for the growing global economy.
6. Did we mention the millions of women that push out babies every day like it’s nothing.
7. Then go on to be primary caregivers, nurturing young minds and bodies to do and be better than them.
8. There’s also our amazing homemakers, who provide trillions of dollars worth of services for free! Often ignored and derided in society.
9. Not to talk of the women out there combining work, school and motherhood!
10. There are women breaking cultural moulds and doing it quietly, today is for you!
11. Choosing to be more than just an appendage to a man, forging their own path even when nobody approves.
12. And to the women out there that feel under appreciated, worn out, tired and defeated on many days, today is for you!
13. Happy International Women’s Day
