Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121 Bridgerton | Zikoko!
If you aren’t tired of kissing frogs and rolling around with goats, we’re tired on your behalf.
We’ve studied all the Bridgertons and their love matches, and here’s how you can tell you’ve found the one for you so you can stop wasting your time in these streets.
Watching them eat gets you hot and bothered
Something about them indulging in sugary treats has to appeal to the less proper side of you. If they’re truly the one for you and your very being burns for them, then you should be jealous and want to take the place of every spoon, fork, or treat that makes its way into their mouth.
They vex you
We’re not talking about full-on hatred o. Just something light where sometimes the words that leave their mouth make you roll your eyes, but also makes you happy because at least you got to hear their voice. However, if the sound of their voice makes you feel like pulling your hair and ear out, then they’re most likely not the one for you.
They make you happy
It doesn’t matter if you’re just sitting in silence or arguing about something utterly ridiculous, all that matters is that you’re doing it with them and that’s enough to make you smile like a Nigerian politician that has just successfully rigged an election.
If you’re dreaming of them every night then we suggest you tell them to take your name out of their jazz man’s mouth. But, if the love of your life is making an appearance in your dreams every now and again, then it’s safe to say that they’ve taken full ownership of your mind and heart.
Your family loves them
If your family members move like Satan’s step-children then this one’s not for you. However, if they’re sensible and you know they always have your best interest at heart then by all means show them your potential beau and hope your family falls in love, like you have.
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You feel physically sick when you fight with them
People in love fight all the time. But, if you and the person you think is “The One” get into a fight and you’re both able to breathe and be functional members of society, then they might not be the one for you.
They’ll think the world of you
Naturally, the one for you has to think stars shine out of your ass, they need to genuinely believe you’re the sole reason the galaxy shines so bright. If they’re not of this opinion then you need to pack your load and continue your search for love.
You’ll do anything to protect them
When you find “The One” they’ll mean the world to you, and you’ll do anything to make sure no one hurts them, even if that person is their mother or yourself.
You’re obsessed with them
When we say obsessed, we mean things like sniffing the air after they walk past you and keeping every letter they’ve written you – you know, normal things people in mutually loving relationships do.
After giving us the epic line, “I burn for you”, Netflix’s Bridgertonis back with another interracial couple (Shonda Rhimes, I know what you are) for us to root for.
Taking us back in time, Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story sheds some light on the love story between King George III and Queen Charlotte, who were side characters in the first and second seasons of Bridgerton. The show opens with a message that it’s not entirely factual, so we couldn’t help but do some digging to find out where exactly the writers added Maggi and salt. Here’s what we found out.
Was Queen Charlotte biracial?
Source: Netflix
On the show, Charlotte’s arrival into British court is groundbreaking, bringing about the Great Experiment, which saw her mother-in-law, Princess Augusta, introduce other black people into court. While this storyline is a big slay for black people, no historical evidence supports the gist that Queen Charlotte was black or biracial.
That being said, art historian, Mario De Valdes y Cocom, who started studying portraits of the late Queen in 1967, believed she was indeed biracial and of Portuguese descent. If this is true, it means our good sis, Meghan, wasn’t the first melanated royal to step foot in Buckingham Palace.
How did Charlotte arrive from Germany speaking English with a British accent?
Source: Zikoko Memes
Last I checked, German was the official language in Germany, so how did a German princess show up in England spitting in Adele’s accent? The show obviously took creative liberties as the real Queen Charlotte had to learn English and the customs of her new country.
Why did King George marry Queen Charlotte?
Source: Netflix
On the show, we hear the young Charlotte ask her brother why the King of England would want to marry an unknown princess like her.
The truth is King George didn’t have plenty of fish in his marriage sea. The King had to marry a princess, and there were none in England then. He also had to marry a Protestant, which meant choosing from Germany or Scandinavia. The King himself is also of German descent, with his great-grandfather being German. So, sis, this man was just marrying from his village. That’s all.
Did the King and Queen marry immediately?
Source: Netflix
Yes, King George and Queen Charlotte married just six hours after meeting for the first time on September 8, 1761. But it wasn’t because of love-at-first-sight. Their families had already signed off on the marriage ahead of their meeting. The future Queen was 17 (She should’ve been writing JAMB, to be honest), while King George was 22.
We’ve already established that the Great Experiment was created to entertain us messy bitches who live for drama. Unfortunately for Lady Danbury stans, her story is as accurate as Father Christmas’s. However, England did have a relationship with Lady Danbury’s country, Sierra Leone, and it has to do with slavery.
One of the saddest plotlines of Queen Charlotte happens to be true. Historians say King George battled with an unnamed mental illness throughout his reign, from 1788 to 1789 and again in 1801. It was so bad, he was nicknamed the Mad King. King George was eventually declared unfit to rule in 1810, allowing his eldest son, George IV, to act as Prince Regent from 1811.
Wait, so Queen Charlotte actually had 15 children?
Source: Zikoko Memes
Queen Charlotte had not one, not two, but 15 children. She had nine sons and six daughters, but their two youngest sons died at ages one and four. Despite having all these children, the King and Queen struggled for heirs. Two of their daughters never got married, while most of their sons focused on scoring away matches, making the King and Queen’s grandchildren unfit for the throne. This changed when their son, Prince Edward, and his wife, Princess Victoria, welcomed their daughter, Alexandrina Victoria, or simply Queen Victoria.
An interesting connection between King George and Queen Charlotte and Harry and Meghan
Source: The Times
As shown in the series, King George III bought Buckingham House, which later became the famous Buckingham Palace, as a gift for his wife in 1762. While living in the palace, the couple commissioned the construction of Frogmore Cottage for quick summer getaways (their own private Ilashe without the ocean). Guess who rented the cottage while living in the UK? Yes, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. If you look at it, King George and Queen Charlotte were Harry and Meghan’s original landlord and landlady.
The love stories on Bridgerton might seem unrealistic, but if you follow this guide, your chances of getting a relationship like Kate and Anthony’s move from a 5 to a strong 25%.
Both of you must swim in money
Credit: Tenor
First and most important: you and your partner must come from insane money. You’ll need the time to actually be each other’s “bane of my existence, and object of my desires.”
Choose to love the person
Credit: Zikokomemes
People are annoying, we know. But the only way to get love like in the story books is by choosing to love them deeply every single day. With that much passion, they’ll have no choice but to love back.
Big declarations of love
Credit: Zikokomemes
Not every time, “Have you eaten”. Sometimes, “I cannot breathe when you are not near. My heart calls your name.” So they know how deep your love is.
Overcome a challenge together
Credit: Zikokomemes
It really doesn’t matter what it is. As long as you both get through a life-or-death issue as a unit, you’re one step closer to being the Charlotte to their George.
Be bad communicators
Credit: Zikokomemes
For some reason, the only way to have a fairytale romance is to be a shit communicator. So the next time you want to talk and iron out an issue with your significant other, shut your mouth and let it stew.
Unresolved trauma
Credit: Zikokomemes
This shouldn’t be hard. Just think of your daily life as a Nigerian. Something’s bound to trigger you, and there you go. Now, you have a reason to avoid your partner and have them fight for your love.
Be the Wonder Woman to their Superman
Credit: Memondo
You must have a strong desire to save your significant other from themselves. This might require you to yell out the occasional “I will stand with you between the Heavens and the Earth”. But what’s love if you can’t continuously pull your partner from the edge?
Steamy hot chemistry
Credit: Pinterest
What did you think Daphne Bridgerton meant when she said, “I burn for you”? You both have to be able to burn down the room with a single stare.
I’m not the biggest fan of fashion reviews, but since Nollywood has refused to let me rest, I, too, will not let them rest.
Source: Zikoko Memes
This week, I’m breaking my fashion silence to review looks from the 2023 screening of Netflix Bridgerton prequel, Queen Charlotte in South Africa. The theme was “Regent Era” just like the show, and you know Nollywood actors live for themed premieres.
Let’s get into this ranking.
Erica Nweledim
Source: Instagram/EricaNweledim
I love me some Star Girl Erica, but no amount of love will make me stand for this look. What is going on with the dyed baby chicken feathers? Don’t even get me started on that helmet on my girl’s head. Is this the new Gokada uniform? Do I need to call my estate gate to let in delivery girl Erica? Miss Mamas probably heard there was a Bridgerton character called Lady Featherington and decided to run with it.
Bimbo Ademoye
Source: Instagram/BimboAdemoye
“My skirt of many colours that my father made for me,” or whatever Dolly Parton sang. No, but seriously I don’t have a problem with the style of this dress or the layering. My problem is how cheap the fabric looks. As someone who’s worn a satin suit to dance to Diana Ross’ He Lives in Me in primary school, this fabric is giving me PTSD. The top half looks great, but the bottom half is a wonderment.
Nancy Isime
Source: Instagram/NancyIsimeOfficial
Nancy Isime saw what Tems did at the Oscars and said, “Hold my cup”. This dress is stunning on its own and works perfectly with the regency theme of the event. But once again, why are Nigerian stars pulling up with different structures on their head? Everything else looks stunning, but this satellite dish she has on her head keeps throwing me off.
Sharon Ooja
Source: Instagram/SharonOoja
Sharon Ooja is a fashion girl. People can debate everything else about her, but when it comes to looks, Sharon never misses. That is, until now. I’m obsessed with this dress and the corset transition that reminds me of Zendaya’s look from the 2019 Emmys:
Source: Fashion Bomb Daily
But just like my other fashion girl, Zendaya, Sharon should’ve kept her accessories to a minimum. Girl, the dress is already a statement on its own, why do you have the big hair? The fascinator? And those “I will worship the Lord for he is worthy” choreography gloves? This look is a classic case of doing too much, yet doing absolutely nothing at all.
Can we give Kunle Remi a round of applause for redeeming Nollywood men, especially after that condom look Deyemi pulled off at the Domitilla red carpet?
Source: Twitter
I really hope this redemption for Nollywood leading men lasts. But then again, I remember this magazine cover from 2021, and I know it’s only a matter of time before one of them strikes again.
Source: ThisDay Style
Lily Afe
Source: Instagram/LilyAfe
Lily Afe’s dress is a classic example of how styling can elevate what could’ve very easily looked like a boring aso-ebi dress. The hair, earrings and sceptre are the only accessories here, and they do their best to compliment, not overpower the dress. This look isn’t the most memorable on the carpet, but it’s stunning enough to get a second glance and make a statement.
Mercy Eke
Source: Instagram/Official_MercyEke
Look at this dress and tell me Mercy Eke doesn’t look like a Disney princess who’s broken free from the clutches of her evil stepmother, and is ready to use her prince’s money to order an entire collection from Monsieur Fashion De La Nova? She’s giving regency, but with an edge. The pulled back hair and minimal accessories allows focus on her dress and her lantern since there’s no power in South Africa. Love it.
Priscy Ojo
Source: Instagram/Its.Priscy
I love it when a new fashion girl enters the scene and snatches everyone’s wigs, frontals included. Priscy Ojo ate down. This look licked the plate and not one grain of Egusi could be found. The dress, ate. The hair, ate. The jewellery, ate. And finally, someone wore gloves that actually slayed. Priscy Ojo, the woman that you are. It might be too soon to pull out the Wendy gif, but who cares? I’m sold on Project Priscy.
Have you ever watched a TV show to impress someone you like? Well, you’re not alone. These seven Nigerians can relate to your desperation to off someone’s pant with TV show references, and they spoke to me about how it all went down.
Bridgerton, Netflix
— Tobi, 28
I used to make fun of people who watched Bridgerton back in 2020 because It looked boring and unnecessarily horny — why was that guy licking a spoon like a whore in those memes? But this year, I met a girl on instagram, and obsessed doesn’t even cover how much she stans the show.
I forced myself to watch Bridgerton because of this girl and started posting videos of me pretending to enjoy it on my Instagram story. The girl ended up sliding into my DM and doing all the toasting for me. I wouldn’t say I like the show, but we’re dating now, so don’t be shocked if you see me watching season three next year.
Stranger Things, Netflix
— Cynthia, 23
God knows I don’t like scary shit or playing with demons, but I watched Stranger Things, and it was because of a man. A guy I liked in my gym was wearing merch from the show one day, and since I’d been looking for a way to talk to him without sounding desperate, I figured this would be a subtle move. I spent a whole week bingeing all three seasons of the show, and the next time he wore the shirt, I told him, “I can’t wait to see how they bring back Hopper.” That’s how we started talking.
I ended up inviting him to watch the fourth season’s premiere with me; let’s say, some things went down. Shoutout to The Duffer Brothers for getting me good dick.
The Men’s Club, REDTv
— Jeremiah, 30
The show might be called The Men’s Club, but I feel women watch it more than men. I got into the show because there was this girl at my office I really liked who wouldn’t stop talking about it. I knew if she found out I liked the show, we’d hit it off, and we did. We’d talk about the show throughout our lunch break, and I even pretended to ship Louis and Lola, only to find out my “office wife” was engaged to someone else.
I get not bringing your personal life to work, but there’s no way this babe didn’t know I liked her. Anyway, I still watch the show; I just don’t trust Lagos babes anymore.
Anime in general
— Ehi, 25
I met this cute guy who was really into anime during my NYSC service year. Omo, this guy was such an anime geek; he had a demon slayer sword, as per Ikeja Samurai Jack. But, like I said, he was cute AF. We used to gist a lot, but our conversation wasn’t moving towards fornication, so I thought getting into the shows he liked would help me secure my future orgasm.
I tried Bleach, She-Ra, Yuri on Ice, Naruto and Sailor Moon, but nothing clicked. I hate animation, and even though I wanted that knacks badly, I couldn’t move past this hatred. Maybe I should just tell him I want to chop his work.
Spartacus was a sure way for me to get steady sex back in the day. I used to live in an apartment off campus when I was in university, but I had this coursemate who lived at home with super religious parents, so he couldn’t watch shows with violence or sex in them. He used to come to my apartment to watch Spartacus after classes, and every time he was done, we’d have sex. I hated the show but knew it was a necessary evil, so I endured it. I always looked at the bigger picture.
RuPaul’s Drag Race, LogoTV
— Abdul, 30
Let me start by saying I used to be one of those gays who were happy to announce that he didn’t watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. It gave me this weird feeling of superiority, like I was better than other gay men. Until I met my would-be ex, who was a big Drag Race fan. This man watched all the different shows from America to Australia. I resisted at first, but by the time he started repeatedly showing me clips and talking about it, I just had to give in.
I was shocked by how good Drag Race was. It’s hilarious and smart. The show also helped me build a community with other gay men who I wouldn’t have gotten to know if it hadn’t come up. I miss my ex, but I’m glad he helped me deal with my internalised homophobia and accept the beauty of drag.
Insecure, HBO
— Tomiwa, 35
Insecure is my favourite show ever, and it took trying to impress my wife for me to see that. In 2016, when I was still dating her, she mentioned Insecure in passing as a show she loved. I’d never heard of it, and since it was just starting, I thought, why not? I fell hopelessly in love with the show just as I was falling in love with my wife.
Insecure was a massive part of our relationship. I proposed while Girl by The Internet and Kaytranada played in the background (we discovered it on the show). We both cried when the show ended last year. My next goal is to get my wife to meet Issa Rae.
We’ve watched the second season of Bridgerton and thoroughly enjoyed it. The plot, the enemies to lover trope and the intense chemistry between Kate and Anthony.
Watching the show made us wonder what it would be like if the characters were replaced with Nigerian actors and here’s what we came up with.
1. Eucharia Anunobi as Queen Charlotte
It’s almost as though Eucharia was made for this character. From the brows to the way she speaks, there’s no better Nigerian actress and veteran who can body this role.
2. Joke Silva as Lady Danbury
Joke Silva embodies wisdom and class, very much like Lady Danbury. She has a readily available personality to carry the role and succeed at it.
3. Bimbo Akintola as Mary Sharma
The range of this woman. We need to tell Netflix to give her a call if they ever get the bright idea to give us a Nigerian version of Bridgerton.
4. Ireti Doyle as Countess Bridgerton
She’s the perfect dotting mum who wants the best for her children in terms of marriage and happiness. Countess Bridgerton is an unproblematic fave, very much like Ireti Doyle.
5. Sola Sobowale as Lady Portia Featherington
Conniving Lady who’d do anything for her family? Almost reminds of us our own king of boys. It’s either aunty Sola or no one else.
The older self-made woman who doesn’t conform to societal norms and has chosen to work hard to make a name for herself seems like the perfect description of real-life Nse.
7. Jemima Osunde as Penelope Featherington
To be very honest, Jemima Osunde seems like someone who has all the tea on what’s going on in Nollywood but decides not to speak. Jemima Penelope Featherington Osunde
8. Susan Pwajok as Eloise Bridgerton
We surprised you with this one, didn’t we? Susan’s character on The Johnsons is already similar to Eloise’s. We’re not trying to put her in a box, we’re only pointing out how perfect she’d be for this role.
9. Uzoamaka Aniunoh as Edwina Sharma
Uzoamaka has proven herself in all the roles she’s ever been in. Her beauty and talent are so surreal. There’s no better person to play Edwina than her.
10. Meg Otanwa as Kate Sharma
Nollywood is filled with a lot of talented actors, but none of them is like Meg. She has the beauty and charm to deliver the best performance in this role.
11. Nonso Bassey as Anthony Bridgerton
Nonso Bassey playing Viscount Anthony Bridgerton? Yes, please, count us in. Even in his music, you know Nonso is the ultimate lover boy. If it’s not him, it’s no one else.
12. Jim Iyke as Lord Jack Featherington
Poor businessman turned scammer who eventually got played by a woman sounds like a role created for Jim Iyke.
13. Efa Iwara as Colin Bridgerton
Colin can’t see the love of his life right in front of him same way Efa can’t see all the women who’ve been trying to marry him.
14. Adesua Etomi-Wellington as Duchess Daphne Basset, née Bridgerton
Just Imagineis a Zikoko weekly series that takes fictional pop culture icons and reimagines them as chaotic Nigerians.
Bridgerton, Netflix’s most-watched series, captured our hearts for many reasons. From the set to the story, costumes and actors — especially that Duke that wanted to separate us from our Lion of Judah chastity belt.
Anyway, while we loved Bridgerton, we decided to make it even better and imagine them as Nigerians. In our version of the story, Daphne and Simon have been renamed Dunni and Siju Owonikoko.
AT THE LOCAL TAILOR’S SHOP
Dunni is at the village tailor’s shop examining her dress for tonight’s party.
Dunni: (picks up the dress) Wetin be dis?
Tailor: Aunty, na your cloth be that oh.
Dunni: (scowls) Why e get three hands?
Tailor: Na your head go enter that place.
Dunni:
Dunni: (turns the dress around) Why the hand no equal?
Tailor: Na ironing go do that part. Wear am first.
Dunni steps into the dress.
Tailor: (smiles) Ehen! See as e stand for your body!
Dunni: E stand?
Tailor: (admires Dunni) Ehn!
Dunni: Why the shoulder pad con dey reach my ear?
Tailor: Na the style wey I see for magazine be that oh.
Dunni: I no dey give you any money until you do am well.
Tailor: You don pay me the one wey you owe me for last month? Abeg, off cloth for me.
A man bursts into the tailor’s shop and quickly locks the door. He bumps into Dunni in the process.
Dunni: Are you mad?!
Tailor: Uncle, wetin happen?
Man: (smooths his agbada) No vex. One person was chasing me.
Tailor: Na my shop you go come dey enter anyhow?
Dunni: (eyes him and turns to the tailor) You go do this cloth again o.
Man: (laughs) Hope this is not what you want to wear to Olori’s party tonight. Because walahi, you cannot see husband.
Dunni: Who put your mouth in this matter?
Tailor: I no go do anything until you pay my money.
Man: How much?
Tailor: N27,500.
Dunni: Kuku carry gun now. (to the man) I am owing her N12,000, but I am not paying because she spoiled my dress.
Tailor: Abi you no get money?
Man: (looks outside)
Dunni: Are you owing people money? Why are you looking left and right?
Man: Look, I’ll pay for your dress if you will pretend to be my girlfriend at the party.
Dunni: (looks suspiciously) Are you looking for who to kidnap?
Man: Do I look like I want to kidnap you?
Dunni: They usually write it for face?
Man: See, if I pay for your cloth, you don’t have to wear that nonsense to the party and the women in this village will stop chasing me.
Dunni: What’s your name?
Man: Siju, Son of Chief Owonikoko. (adjusts agbada).
Dunni: Who be dat?
Siju: Chief Owonikoko, the village chief.
Dunni: The one that they caught masturbating with cocoa?
Siju: That was 12 years ago, and that is my uncle. My father is Chief Owonikoko, the one with Ilaje tribal marks.
Dunni: Ohhhh Oh! I know him!
Siju: (smiles)
Dunni: The one that did ritual and turned to goat for 2 years.
Siju: (frowns) Do you agree to the deal or you don’t agree?
Dunni stretches her hand to shake his hand but her fabric rips. She turns to the tailor.
Dunni: You know your head is not correct for this cloth that you sew?
NIGHT OF THE PARTY
Dunni steps out of her house wearing a traditional iro and buba. At that moment, the women of the Faworaja household, led by Mr Faworaja, walk towards her.
Dunni starts to walk faster towards her okada.
Mr. Faworaja: Dunni!
Dunni: (walks faster).
Mr. Faworaja: Dunni oh!
They reach Dunni before she reaches her okada.
Dunni: What happen again?
Mr. Faworaja: Help me carry my wife and daughters to the party, abeg.
Dunni: On this okada? where will all of them sit?
Mrs. Faworaja: We can lap.
Dunni: On top where? What happened to your car?
Mr. Faworaja: It is at the mechanic’s place.
Dunni: Abi you used it to play two odd?
Mr. Faworaja: Is forex!
Dunni: (sighs) Everybody can enter.
The Faworajas manage to squeeze on top of the okada and they start to move, but it breaks down two seconds later.
Everyone: …
Dunni: …
Mrs. Faworaja: You don’t have petrol?
Dunni: Please get down from this thing. Everybody get out!
AT THE PARTY
The Olori is sitting and watching everybody dance and socialise. Dunni is a small distance away, admiring a small decorative pot when Siju comes to stand next to her.
Siju: They say they made it like 500 years ago.
Dunni: So that means it will be very expensive.
Siju: Only the Olori can touch it. Do you want to dance?
Dunni nods and they go off dancing.
Dunni: I need to go to the bathroom.
Dunni comes back.
Dunni: I want to be going.
Olori: Who carried my pot here?
Silence.
Olori: Who is the unfortunate person that carried my pot from here?
Dunni: Bye Bye.
Siju: Ahnahn now now? See, let’s help her look for it and sneak into the palace grounds.
Dunni: I have fellowship this night.
Olori: The person that carried that pot will bark until they die.
Dunni: Ehn?
Siju: Come on, let’s go.
Siju gently pulls her and the pot falls from under her wrapper and breaks.
Siju: Where did you put it?
Dunni: (smiles awkwardly) Will I still bark?
DUNNI’S HOUSE
Dunni is sitting on the couch, looking downcast. Mrs. Faworaja is standing next to Dunni’s mother and Eniola, Dunni’s sister, who is pouring her some water.
Mrs. Faworaja: I read on Laide Wobi’s blog that they chased you away from the palace. Is it true?
Dunni: Haven’t they chased you people too?
Mrs. Faworaja admires the house and touches the colourful curtain.
Dunni: Mummy Wa. Leave the curtain, don’t use it to sew cloth.
Mrs. Faworaja drops the curtain. A scuffle is heard outside. Mrs. Feathrington looks outside the window and her eyes widen.
Eniola: EFCC has finally come to pick your husband.
Everyone rushes out to see what is going on except Dunni. Siju enters the house.
Siju: How are you feeling?
Dunni shrugs.
He sits next to her and touches her hand. They look into each other’s eyes and start to kiss. Ajaka, Dunni’s brother, walks in on them kissing.
Ajaka forcefully separates them and punches Siju.
Ajaka: You dey crase?!
Siju: No vex, abeg.
Ajaka: You must marry her or we will fight!
Siju looks at Dunni. Dunni looks back at him.
Siju: Well??? Say something!
Dunni: Well, do you have gun?
THE DAY OF THE DUEL
Ajaka and Siju are both pointing guns at each other. Dunni rides an okada into the venue.
Siju: (heaves a sigh of relief) Thank God you came. I don almost die.
Dunni: (offloads speakers from her okada).
Siju: What is that?
Dunni: (presses play)
Speaker: Ta lo so pe ko po ke?
Ajaka: So you want us to fight?
Dunni: (nods and chews groundnut) I want to see who will first die.
Siju: I will marry.
WEDDING DAY
Siju and Dunni are standing before an alfa. The alfa is reading the vows.
Alfa: Dunni, are you sure you want to marry this man?
Dunni nods.
Alfa: I now pronounce you husband and wife!
The congregation cheers. A collective notification ping is heard and everyone checks their phone. They gasp. Siju checks his phone too.
Siju: (screams) WHAT?
Dunni: What happened?
Siju: Laide Wobi said you’re owing people up to ₦44 Million?
Dunni: Let me check.
Siju shows her the post.
Dunni: Is true.
Siju: What? Why?
Dunni: I booked Wizkid for concert.
Siju: And?
Dunni: It was not Wizkid that came. It was one guy that use Wizkid as profile picture
Siju:
Dunni: And it is 49 Million. I used 5 million to bet.
Siju: Bet on what?
Dunni: Bet that my brother will shoot your leg at that fight.
Siju: Alfa, I want a divorce.
Alfa: We don’t do divorce here.
Another notification comes into the phone and Dunni checks it.
Dunni: What?!!
Siju:
Dunni: You’re impotent?
Siju: It’s not that much.
Dunni: Did they swear for you people?
Siju: Why are you shouting?
Dunni: Alfa, I want the divorce.
Alfa: Then go to court. This is a place of peace.
Dunni: Maybe, we should just be going home.
Siju: Why? Let’s go to court now!
Dunni: I used otapiapia to mix bleaching cream for court staff and they are looking for me.
Alfa: Didn’t you sell cream to me yesterday???
Siju: She sold cream for my mummy too.
Alfa:
Check back every Friday by 2pm for new stories in the Just Imagine series.
