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  • APC’s Abdul-Hameed Adeshina Thinks There’s a Different Devil at Every Level of Governance

    For Navigating Nigeria this week, Citizen had a chat with Abdul-Hameed Adeshina. He’s a media and public relations expert and a proud card-carrying member of the APC. He spoke on a lot of things including his party’s scorecard over the last eight years, BAT’s gaffes, the fuel and naira scarcity and why citizens — not the government — should protect government property.

    Editorial Note: Navigating Nigeria is a platform for Nigerians to passionately discuss policies and politics with little interference to individual opinions. While our editorial standards emphasise the truth and we endeavour to fact-check claims and allegations, we do not bear any responsibility for allegations made about other people that are founded in half-truths.  

    Are you familiar with Zikoko Citizen?

    Unfortunately, today’s the first time I’m hearing about you guys.

    We hope you take the time to check us out. You claim to have been a long-time member of the APC. Why should young Nigerians vote for your party at the polls?

    Young people from the age of 15 should choose the APC as their sure banker. Reason’s that the APC is progressive. We’re a party that cares for the young and the aged. The party has a structure in place for the betterment of not only youths but all Nigerians. 

    We have a lot of young men in our party, in governance, that are doing well in life ever since they joined. We have a good template for the betterment of every youth in the country.

    This view you hold, is it a consensus as a member of the APC, or a personal one?

    We have many political parties in Nigeria. The APC, PDP, LP, APGA, and NNPP. Now, look at all these states. Which party produced the youngest governor in Nigeria? It’s APC and that person is Yahaya Bello of Kogi state. Lagos state is one of the largest economies in Africa led by Babajide Sanwo-Olu. You can categorise him as a youth. He joined us, I think, at the age of 32. He’s among the best-performing governors in Nigeria today. 

    So when I say APC has a structure for the youths, I’m not saying it to promote my party. I’m backing it with facts and figures. Go to Kogi state and see what Yahaya Bello is doing. 

    How would you rate the APC’s performance over the last eight years?

    We have a scorecard. When talking about infrastructure I’ll rate the APC 100/100. On security which hasn’t really been fair, I’ll say 60/100. On jobs, 85/100. 

    100 per cent in infrastructure? 

    Before we came on board, Goodluck Jonathan said he’d be the first president to construct the Second Niger Bridge. Funds were allocated for that project. We came on board, said we’d do it and we’ve done it. That’s number one.

    Lagos-Ibadan expressway was started and funded by the OBJ administration. They did nothing. Our administration has taken it to almost 95% completion.

    People who live around that axis won’t agree with you

    The last time the Minister for Works, Babatunde Fashola, gave updates on that expressway, he said the project would have been completed if not for some conflicting projects being done by Oyo state governor, Seyi Makinde.

    We have federal and state roads. Fashola spoke to Makinde to inform him that it’s his projects that are delaying them. We know what that road was like in 2015, so 95% is what I’d give.

    Hmm. Besides these two projects, what else? 

    Funding universities, building roads, and provision of jobs. Recently, the president came to commission a rice mill in Lagos making it the largest producer of rice. The Kaduna-Abuja expressway is there.

    When the PDP was there we travelled by road. Now we have railways working perfectly. Our administration brought back the lost glory of railways.

    The Abuja metro has been grounded. Kaduna railway has been attacked by bandits. Warri-Itakpe railway has also had its issues

    You’re bringing up a narrative of some people sabotaging the nation. Government and the people have duties. It’s for the government to provide social amenities, and it’s for the citizens to protect government property. We’re taught this in the first year of university. It’s the citizens that should be blamed for this.

    I tweeted that God’ll judge the people doing this evil to us. We cannot say because people are sabotaging government efforts we then put the fault on the government. No, it doesn’t work that way. It’s our promise that we’ll do something and we’ve done it. There’s a difference between “we will do it” and “we’ve done it”. We’ve done it.

    Security is also part of our success story.

    How?

    When we came on board we all knew how rampant kidnapping and banditry were. In April 2014 nearly 300 girls were kidnapped in Chibok under the PDP-led administration. In 2015 we told Nigerians to vote for us on two basic issues. For a prosperous economy and to fight insecurity. Before we came on board, 13-14 local governments were under Boko Haram. Today, it’s a thing of the past. 

    At every level, there’s a different devil. We’ve fought the devil of bandits, of  terrorists, but now we still have the devil of kidnappers which I believe will be resolved before May 29, 2023.

    We experienced increased herder-farmer clashes under the APC. Are you satisfied with how this government handled this issue?

    On this herdsmen issue, they’re not Nigerians.

    They operate in Nigeria

    That’s it. They’re not Nigerians but they’re terrorising our people. I don’t want to use the narrative that they’re Fulani herdsmen because there are instances where security operatives arrested them and they’re not Fulanis. You could just term them kidnappers. There’s nothing like Fulani herdsmen. We have Yorubas as herdsmen, we have Igbos as herdsmen.

    But I never mentioned that

    Ok. When was the last time you heard about this? 

    So you’re saying the government intervened?

    Not only the government, we the people. Citizens should also be given kudos for being supportive towards the men in uniform.

    BAT has spoken in recent times about fuel and naira scarcity. Do you think this will affect your party’s chances at the polls?

    It will not and it cannot. Do you know why? In 2015 there was no fuel scarcity like this, all the way till 2021. Before, we experienced fuel scarcity during festive periods but people gave us kudos for how we managed it under this administration. There was no fuel scarcity three to four months ago. Why’s it now, close to elections, that we’re experiencing this?

    Abuja has been experiencing fuel scarcity for longer than six months

    Yes, Abuja could be experiencing fuel scarcity but not as it is now. Practically every state in Nigeria is experiencing fuel scarcity and we have fuel. There’s enough fuel. The NNPC director said it. Punch published this article that some people are sabotaging government efforts to make life easy for people. You’re collecting fuel from the NNPC, why are you hoarding it? It’s not the fault of the government. It is our own evil agenda towards ourselves. 

    It’s not the fault of the government. There’s fuel, people are hoarding it. There are filling stations that have fuel 24/7 and sell as low as ₦180 per litre. Why’s the price of others different?

    The new naira design is a good approach but the timing is what I’m personally against. The APC governors met with the president who told them to give him seven days to review the decision.

    The reason for this naira redesign is to stop kidnappers from operating. We’ve tried using the National Identification Number (NIN) and tracking them with SIM cards but it doesn’t work. Ok, they collect cash ransoms. What if we try a cashless policy? How would they receive ransom when they know cash isn’t in circulation? That’s what brought about the policy, as well as to reduce the amount we use in printing money.

    Nigeria is not that developed in terms of technology to use the cashless policy. The pepper and flour sellers don’t know what technology is.

    Kenya has M-pesa, a cashless policy initiative that has appeal among the classes of people you describe. Don’t you think the implementation is the issue here?

    I’ll use this medium to apologise to Nigerians that are feeling the pain. Like I said in one of my tweets, I’ve separated myself from any policy that brings pandemonium and hardship to the people that elected us.

    BAT has made several gaffes prompting laughs on social media. Do you think this could affect his chances, and whether he’s fit to lead?

    Lots of questions but I’ll answer every one of them.

    Hahaha

    Let’s talk about the gaffes. Asiwaju is a politician and wants to be the talk of the town. In his recent one, he said, “vote for me, your eight years (in school) will be eight years.” Honestly, I don’t think that should be a matter of discussion in the public because this is Nigeria and we’ve seen a lot.

    Let me now tell you something. You can’t be working 24/7 and not make mistakes. Could be when you’re working, walking or even eating. Asiwaju was in Osun and left around 9:50 p.m., got to Ekiti where they wrapped things up and moved on to Nasarawa. It’s not easy.

    But other candidates are moving around as well

    They’re making the same mistakes. There’s no top presidential candidate that hasn’t made a funny mistake. Is it Atiku, or Peter Obi, who? Was it not Peter Obi that went to Nasarawa and said it was a very big country? How’s Nasarawa a big country? People don’t talk about that.

    Atiku that’s telling us he’s strong went to a state and told his supporters to vote APC. There’s none of them that haven’t made such errors because they’re all working hard. If you’re supposed to sleep for six hours in a day and you sleep for two, your head will be hot. Your thinking might even be different. You might be pressing your phone and dozing off. One can’t cheat nature. You can’t use these things as factors to determine who Asiwaju is.

    Lol. A former member of the APC presidential campaign council Naja’atu Mohammed, has said BAT isn’t fit for office. What’s your take on this?

    If you’ve read Hajiya Naja’atu’s profile you’ll know she’s not a doctor and has never worked in the health sector before. So her comments on Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu are false. She’s in no position to know who is or isn’t fit. The only person who can speak authoritatively about my state of health is my doctor.

    She left our camp for Atiku and she said Yemi Osinbajo was her choice. If Osinbajo believed her she wouldn’t have left our camp for the opposition. It’s a paid job. When you see a paid job you’ll know.

    We can talk about one of the former aides of Alhaji Atiku Abubakar, showing the world how corrupt Atiku is. Nobody’s talking about that.

    Well, that has been discussed a lot on social media

    This is 1-1. Someone left their camp and came to ours because they believe in us. Likewise, someone left our camp and went to theirs. Our political ideology is quite different from others. If someone brings us any evidence we show it to the world and back it up with the law. If she believes BAT isn’t fit let her come up with evidence. All she’s doing is just public relations (PR). I’m a PR expert. 

    You’re based in the UK. Some might say your support for the APC is only possible because you’re not in Nigeria

    This isn’t the first time I’m hearing this. Let me tell you something. I was supposed to go to Onward Primary School, a private school. I was given money to purchase a form but misplaced it. It was then I settled for a public school, Methodist Primary School in Iragbiji, Osun state. My secondary school was Iyana Community School in Oyo state. I went to Community Grammar School, Sasha. Then I went to the Federal Polytechnic, Offa. I also went to Kwara State University.

    Now, tell me. What’s wrong with me coming overseas for another degree? I’m not the first person to come to the UK to live or study. Why’s my case different? They’re talking about suffering. I schooled in Kwara. I had classes around 8 a.m, I’d leave Oshogbo around 5 a.m, take a bus from Otefun to Ilorin. From Ilorin to Malete. 

    I’m not an ajebutter, we’re in it together. I don’t see the UK as paradise. What I’m telling you is that in Nigeria people are enjoying themselves more than in the UK.

    How so?

    Let me tell you. If I fail to go to work tomorrow, I might become homeless in the next three weeks. Do you know why? If you don’t go to work you don’t get paid. If you don’t get paid how can you have electricity? Water? Transport? You have to work. Unlike in Nigeria where in some places it’s difficult for NEPA to disconnect you from power. People just make assumptions.

    This young man talking to you is coming home to vote. When I was in Nigeria I did giveaways on Fridays on my Twitter and Instagram. 

    So you’re coming to Nigeria to vote?

    Insha Allah. I’m just waiting for permission from my manager. Once I get it I’m coming home to vote. Let me say that ever since I’ve been in this game of politics I’ve never, in my life, received a penny from any political leader. This is going all the way back to Rauf Aregbesola who I worked for, day and night. Same with Gboyega Oyetola, never collected a penny.

    Reno Omokri came to the UK the other day to disrupt Asiwaju’s speech at Chatham House. I know what I brought on the streets (to counter him). All the things I’m doing fall under professional PR work and people pay millions for it. I do it for free, for my country. And I’m not the only one. 

    There are other people overseas who are paid millions to support Atiku and Obi and they’re not coming home to vote. Why’s my case different? It’s only when I’m campaigning for BAT that people say I’m enjoying the good life. If I’m enjoying the good life are my parents at home enjoying? We’re middle-class people and I can support my party anywhere I want. That’s my submission on that.

    One of Buhari’s legacies is the Electoral Act which he’s received commendation for. Do you think BAT will improve Nigeria’s electoral system if he gets in?

    Asiwaju, despite not being president, has fought for democracy. Asiwaju wasn’t president when he fought the PDP in Osun state when Aregbesola was being cheated. He wasn’t president when he helped a PDP governor reclaim his mandate in Oyo state. He doesn’t care what party you belong to, he just wants the rule of law. He’s the only man alive who fought the president for eight years and won.

    Are you referring to his time as Lagos state governor and his spat with President Obasanjo over federal allocations?

    Yes, with Baba Obasanjo then. Asiwaju respects the law which is why till today there’s no case of corrupt practice against him. I can say this anywhere.

    Corrupt practices he’s yet to be found guilty of, you mean

    Yes. He was charged by the code of conduct tribunal but they found nothing. Don’t forget this was when OBJ was in power, if he was guilty they’d have nailed him with whatever they had. 

    One criticism against the APC is nomination forms are very expensive which makes it hard for youths to take part

    At the beginning of this year the party leadership offered a discount. Any youth from 25-35 would get a 50% discount on nomination forms. We also made it free for women contesting. In some instances, some didn’t pay. We have the consensus and direct primaries and depending on whatever’s used some people might not even pay. 

    Does the APC have confidence in INEC’s ability to conduct free and fair elections?

    President Muhammadu Buhari has provided everything needed for INEC to conduct free and credible elections. In terms of security, the president has pledged to do his best. We experienced it in Ekiti and Osun. So come February 25, I urge everyone to come out and cast their vote. There won’t be any form of intimidation, violence or ballot snatching. I have 99% trust in the leadership of INEC led by Prof. Yakubu.

    The Citizen Situation Room and Helpline are your ultimate plugs for real-time gist and drama on the 2023 elections. Join the conversation today!

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  • How Much Does Your Loyalty Cost During Elections?

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    In the famous Harry Potter series, the villain, Voldemort, succeeded, for the most part, because he had followers who were more than ready to fight, bleed and die for him. Unfortunately, this type of loyalty doesn’t exist in Nigerian politics. The “Emi lo kan” campaign team of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) recently experienced this first-hand as they were seemingly betrayed by one of their own a month before the presidential election.

    On January 21, 2023, Hajiya Naja’atu Muhammad, a Director in the Presidential Campaign Council (PCC) for the APC, tendered her resignation letter. She claimed she didn’t want Nigeria’s affliction to rise a second time by supporting Bola Tinubu, APC’s presidential candidate, who’s too sick to rule a nation properly. Also, she said she’d be quitting partisan politics because none of them aligned with her values or beliefs. 

    This is why it was shocking to see Hajiya Muhammad, a mere 72 hours after her resignation and “quitting party politics”, smiling brightly for the camera with Atiku Abubakar, the presidential candidate for the People’s Democratic Party (PDP).

    And while we’re still trying to figure out if this means she’s now a part of PDP’s campaign, the APC recently released a statement saying Hajiya’s resignation is a scam as she was fired for incompetence and being a mole. 

    So you can’t help but wonder, was Hajiya Muhammad just someone planted by the PDP into Bola Tinubu’s presidential campaign or was she recently bought over? 

    What else happened this week?

    Woman wins ₦1.5 million for being called a witch

    In the words of the great Bobrisky, “Have you ever seen anybody on this earth that died of insurrrttt?”. Well, you can’t die from insult, but you can make money off it. 

    Naja’atu Muhammad APC elections

    On June 5, 2020, Sahura Suleiman, on her way back from grocery shopping, was called a witch, hypocrite and bastard by six people: her in-laws, neighbour and a native doctor. They grabbed her by her neck and also almost stripped her naked. 

    In turn, she filed a case against them in court for defamation and breach of her fundamental human rights. Three years later, it ended in praise as a High Court in Kano ordered the six respondents to pay a sum of ₦1.5 million. 

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the week

    We’re weeks away from the 2023 general elections. Have you gotten your PVC yet?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Nigeria experienced one of the worst flooding crises in 2022. The Nigeria Meteorological Agency (NiMet) has released a report warning Nigerians to expect early rainfall in most parts of the country. Here’s everything you need to know about this.

  • Why Tinubu Can’t Stop Complaining About APC Saboteurs

    You can call the All Progressives Congress (APC) party many well-deserved names, but the one thing they’re not is boring. Throughout the 2023 election season, they’ve made us go through many emotions ranging from pure amusement to “how are these people our leaders?”

    Tinubu APC presidential win campaign

    On June 8, 2022, Bola Ahmed Tinubu won APC’s presidential primaries, and since then, his campaign has been in full swing. He’s gone from state to state trying to convince Nigerians to vote for him.  

    Tinubu APC presidential win campaign

    Surprisingly, the greatest opps to Tinubu’s presidential run aren’t members of opposition parties but instead members of his party, the APC.

    What’s going on?

    On February 1, 2023, Nasir El-Rufai, Kaduna state governor and Tinubu stalwart, during a live appearance on Channels Television, revealed that some people in the Aso rock are trying to sabotage APC’s presidential win. Why? They’re still unhappy with Tinubu’s victory over their preferred candidates at APC’s presidential primaries. 

    El-Rufai said Emefiele’s Naira redesign is taking place at a sensitive time because it leaves the APC vulnerable ahead of the upcoming elections. 

    This isn’t the first time we’ve seen trouble in the APC camp

    Naja’atu Muhammad

    On January 21, 2023, Naja’atu Muhammad resigned from APC’s Presidential Campaign Council (PCC). And like a bitter ex, she gave us all the tea on Bola Tinubu and why he shouldn’t be Nigeria’s next President. 

    She said the APC presidential candidate has dementia, and he bribed his way to the presidential ticket. Tinubu’s running mate, Kasim Shettima, also took some stray bullets as she accused him of being in bed with terrorists. 

    Babachir Lawal

    When Bola Tinubu decided to run with a Muslim-Muslim ticket, many Nigerians raised eyebrows. Babachir Lawal, APC chieftain and former Secretary to the Nigerian government, was one of the many to voice his disapproval. 

    During an interview with the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), he stated that he had withdrawn his support from Bola Tinubu. And in December 2022, he publicly declared his support for Peter Obi, the presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP). 

    President Buhari

    President Buhari has been lukewarm towards Bola Tinubu’s presidential campaign. Although the PCC has come out to say that the president is too busy to attend campaigns, the opposition parties have picked up on this with a claim that he might be trying to separate himself from Tinubu’s presidential candidacy. 

    Tinubu has now entered full dragging mode and won’t leave Buhari’s baba’nriga. On January 31, 2023, during his campaign rally in Calabar, he called out the government over the consistent depreciation of the Naira from 200 to 800. 

    Before then, he had claimed at a rally in Ogun state on January 25, that some people in the party were trying to sabotage his campaign. Again, he said Emefiele’s redesign policy was targeted at him.

    It’s starting to look like the APC might need to regroup because, with barely weeks left until the 2023 presidential elections, the biggest hurdles to their victory at the polls might just be themselves. 

    Are you signed up to our Game of Votes newsletter yet? We help you make sense of news jargon and keep you up-to-date especially with election news. Make the subscription of a lifetime here

  • Everything About the Naja’atu Muhammad and APC Beef

    Just as Judas betrayed Jesus, so would political supporters tend to betray their parties for rivals during the buildup to every election. 

    This has been evident in the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) camp with the rise of the G5 governors and the transfer of key guber aspirants into rival parties such as the Labour Party (LP).

    Although the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) has received its fair share of defections over the past year, this woman’s case might be the juiciest because of the drama attached. 

    Naja’atu Muhammad

    Her comments on operations inside APC presidential candidate Bola Tinubu’s campaign have sparked conversation and further disgust for the APC. 

    But who is she, what happened between her and the APC and what are some of the claims she has made about Tinubu and the APC?

    Who is Naja’atu Muhammad?

    Naja’atu’s political career was boosted as a senate nominee for Kano Central District under the Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN) in 2007 before they merged with other parties and became APC. 

    Naja’atu was one of President Buhari’s biggest fans during his early days as president from 2015-2016.

    Until her resignation on January 22, 2023, she was the Director of Civil Society in Tinubu’s campaign team. 

    What went wrong between her and the APC, causing this drama?

    The Naja’atu-APC fallout 

    The first sign of ‘love gone bad’ between Naja’atu and the APC was when she filed her resignation letter to the APC National Chairman, Abdullahi Adamu.

    According to Naja’atu, she could no longer participate in party politics due to “recent developments in the political and democratic space.”

    However, Naja’atu didn’t waste time sharing the developments, as she had an exclusive interview with Whistlers the day after her resignation. 

    In the interview, she gave more context into her leaving the APC due to Tinubu’s ‘ill health’ and ‘dementia’.

    The day after the interview, Naja’atu must have decided that party politics were still ‘her thing’ after all. She pledged allegiance to her former boss’s rival — Atiku Abubakar of the PDP. 

    According to her, she chose Atiku because she didn’t have the “luxury of time” and thus had to pick between “the devil and the deep blue sea.”

    At this point, the disloyalty was too much for Tinubu’s presidential team. On January 24, 2023, they fired back by saying that Naja’atu didn’t actually resign, but was sacked

    According to Tinubu’s Adviser on Public Affairs, Mahmud Jega, Naja’atu was fired for incompetence and leaking vital information to rival parties. 

    He also said that she resigned when she found out that they knew about her disloyalty. 

    Are you for real?

    Since then, it’s been nothing but disses from Naja’atu concerning the inner workings of the APC. Let’s outline four of them:

    Tinubu’s illnesses

    During her interview with Whistlers, Naja’atu revealed that Tinubu has Alzheimer’s because “he couldn’t even hold a cup of tea.”

    She also hinted that he sleeps almost all the time and may have dementia, as he could no longer decipher simple terms and meanings. 

    “Tinubu bribed APC governors for the presidential ticket”

    Naja’atu also sat down with THISDAY Newspapers to give them more exclusive gist. 

    According to her, the APC presidential primaries were rigged, as ballot papers were already marked with Tinubu’s name on it. She also claimed that there are clips of APC governors sharing money given by Tinubu after the primaries.

    “Northerners are plotting for Shettima to take over”

    During the THISDAY interview, she also released another bombshell on why some Northerners are running for Tinubu. This is so that Tinubu’s running mate, Kasim Shettima, can become president if his health fails.

    According to Naja’atu, “Some people from Maiduguri called me asking, ‘Hajia, why did you do this? You have now punctured our interest. Our son is going to be president, and you’re talking like that? After all, look at Tinubu; he cannot do it. We’re all for Kashim.”

    “Terrorist Kabiru was arrested in Shettima’s house”

    Naja’atu in an interview with AriseTV also accused Shettima of being in cahoots with terrorists. 

    According to Naja’atu, “Kasim Shettima has been associated several times with the funding of terrorism. We should not forget Kabiru Sokoto, who was one of the most wanted terrorists in 2016. He was found and arrested in Shettima’s house.”

  • Why a Presidential Candidate Can Be Disqualified in Nigeria

    It’s one month until the presidential election. Almost everyone’s giddy about the prospect of choosing Nigeria’s next President. 

    So it’s fascinating to learn that the two leading parties, the All Progressives Congress (APC) and the People’s Democratic Party (PDP), have commenced court proceedings seeking the disqualification of their opposing principals. 

    This led us to ask, what needs to happen for a candidate to be disqualified from contesting for president? But, before we answer that, let’s see if something like this has happened.

    Is this the first time this is happening?

    No. In the lead-up to the 2015 presidential election, the current president Muhammadu Buhari was at the centre of a certificate scandal

    Section 131 of the Nigerian Constitution covers the qualifications for becoming President

    Subsection (d) reads, “A person shall be qualified to the office of President if he has been educated up to at least school certificate level or its equivalent.” The problem was, despite Buhari’s claim at the time that his school leaving certificate (WAEC) was with the military, they initially denied having it. After much back and forth, Buhari’s academic records were released to the public. However, their authenticity remains an open question.

    What are eligibility requirements to become president?

    The essential requirement needed to be President, not stated in the Constitution or the Electoral Act is money. Lots of it.

    Beyond being a joyful spender, section 131 of the Constitution provides four personal requirements, namely;

    1. You must be a Nigerian citizen by birth
    2. You must be at least 40 years old
    3. You must belong in a political party and sponsored to the office of the President
    4. You must be educated up to at least school certificate level or its equivalent

    So what needs to happen to be disqualified from becoming president?

    Section 137 of the Constitution provides grounds for disqualification to the office of President. Unlike the qualification requirements, this one’s a longer list. A person shall not be qualified for office of the president if they;

    1. Have dual citizenship, although this is subject to the provisions of Section 28 of the Constitution.
    2. Served two terms as President already which excludes Buhari and former president Olusegun Obasanjo.
    3. Have been declared to be a lunatic or of unsound mind by any law in Nigeria. Sounds fair. Nigeria’s hard enough as it is and we don’t want to worsen things by electing a mentally unfit person.
    4. Are under a death sentence, or sentenced to prison for fraud. 
    5. Are convicted of fraud or dishonesty less than ten years before the election date.
    6. Have been declared bankrupt. Because someone who can’t manage their own affairs shouldn’t be trusted to manage that of a country.
    7. Haven’t resigned from any public office at least 30 days before the election.
    8. Belong in a secret society. Because why?
    9. Have been indicted for embezzlement or fraud by a judicial commission or tribunal.
    10. Present a forged certificate to the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC).

    How likely is it for anyone to be disqualified at this point?

    There have been allegations of corruption and forgery levelled against the top two parties both within and outside. Aspirants have the right to challenge the results of primaries as provided in Section 29 of the Electoral Act.  

    However, INEC, as an umpire, has limits on how it can intervene. For example, in 2019, a federal high court in Abuja in a case between the Social Democratic Party (SDP) in Kogi State and INEC, ruled against INEC saying it had no power to disqualify a candidate that its party has cleared. 

    There’s good reason to believe that despite court cases springing up this late, the presidential candidates may still have to slug it out at the polls on February 25. 

    Ultimately, the people will pass judgment with their ballots.

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  • Will the North Produce Nigeria’s First Female Governor?

    For months, the All Progressives Congress (APC) has gone around the country hawking their candidates like fine bread. President Buhari has been missing for most of the campaigns until yesterday when he blessed Yola with his presence and endorsed Senator Aishatu Binani’s bid as Adamawa’s governor. If she wins, she will make history in Adamawa and as Nigeria’s first female governor.

    Who is Aishatu Binani?

    A serving senator of the 9th Assembly

    Aishatu aka “Gimbiyar Adamawa”, meaning the Princess of Adamawa, was a former House of Representatives member representing the Yola North/Yola South/Girei federal constituency (2011-2015). She is currently the Chairman of the Senate Committee on Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and also serves as a member of the 9th National Assembly – the only female senator from the north to do so. 

    First female governorship aspirant to represent a major political party

    On May 27, 2022, Aishatu emerged winner of APC’s governorship primaries for Adamawa state, defeating her close rival, former EFCC boss, Nuhu Ribadu. 

    You would think a female aspirant wouldn’t be out of the norm with the population of women in Nigeria. However, women have, for years now, struggled to get adequate representation in politics and government, with the House of Assembly shutting down any bill seeking equal rights and opportunities.

    Mother of all empowerment

    Aishatu isn’t known only for her political upheaval but for her philanthropy which has endeared her to her constituents. She has empowered them with scholarships, ICT facilities, and healthcare services.

    Regardless of her win at the APC primaries, she has had to fight many opps to her governorship aspiration so far.

    • On October 13, 2022, a federal high court in Yola nullified APC’s governorship primaries and annulled her victory. But her village people finally let her go when on November 24, 2022, the Court of Appeal overturned the ruling and reinstated her.  
    • Our First Lady, Aisha Buhari, was very busy last year, from shuffling Nigeria and Dubai to dealing with trolls; she also gave her two cents on a female governorship. In a meeting with stakeholders on November 18, 2022, she threw her weight behind Nuhu Ribadu and claimed Adamawa wasn’t ripe for a female governor. What happened to women supporting women?

    For some reason, it seems like the thought of a female governor makes many people uncomfortable. Here are some examples of women whose governorship dreams were shut down:

    Aisha Al-Hassan

    Many people called her “Mama Taraba” for her influence in the state. 

    In 2015, she contested Taraba’s gubernatorial seat under APC and was declared the winner in November. However, her victory didn’t last long, as the Appeal Court soon reversed the judgement. 

    Gbemi Saraki

    Sibling rivalry is nothing new except that in the Saraki family, rather than fight for food or clothes, the reason for their feud was Kwara’s governorship seat. In case you didn’t know, Gbemi Saraki, current Minister of State For Mines and Steel Development, is the sister of former Senate President Bukola Saraki. 

    After his tenure as Kwara state governor, Gbemi had plans to succeed him, but rather than pitch camp with his sister, he decided to side with the other candidate. And her attempts to win the gubernatorial elections proved futile. 

    A big conversation right now is ensuring more female representation, especially in government. And if Aishatu emerges victorious, it would definitely be a big win for women and a great way to kick off 2023. 

  • Will Tinubu’s Student Loan Plan Work in Nigeria?

    It is not news that Nigeria’s education system is drastically poor. From the frequent strikes by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) to high tuition fees by public universities, graduating from a Nigerian university has become as difficult as forcing a horse to drink water.

    On rising tuition, APC Presidential aspirant, Bola Ahmed Tinubu (BAT), said he has a solution. But let’s first understand how serious the problem is.

    The problem of education financing in Nigeria

    Nigeria desperately needs to get more money for education. A 2022 United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) report states that Nigeria now has 20 million children who are out of school, which is largely due to high tuition.

    But when it comes to meeting the yardstick for financing that could help pay for these fees, Nigeria is way below the cut-off mark. 

    In August 2022, United Nations said if Nigeria doesn’t act fast on increasing its education budget to 20%, meeting the global agenda goal for education would prove difficult in 2030.

    While President Buhari has allocated ₦1.79 trillion (which is an increase from 8.8% to 7.9%), it is still far off from the 20% ‘cut-off’ mark. Experts have predicted that the future of Nigeria’s education sector is in the hands of our future president now. And that is where BAT comes in.

    Bola Ahmed Tinubu [Premium Times]

    Bola Tinubu and the Student Loan

    BAT has been preaching consistently about his plans for student loans since 2015, when he campaigned for President Buhari.

    Fast forward the clock eight years later, and Nigerian citizens are yet to hear anything about student loans. Tinubu has also not revealed any concrete plans to the media on how the student loans will be distributed.

    According to Tinubu’s wingman and Federal Minister of State for Labour and Employment, Festus Keyamo, the promise has not been fulfilled due to a lack of revenue. 

    https://twitter.com/realuchepokoye/status/1583700679511928837?s=46&t=rxRQT9txYHxEfvwMmMppQg

    But if this is true and the country truly wasn’t gaining enough revenue, what happened to miscellaneous money received like Abacha’s loot?

    The reality of Tinubu’s student loan

    As much as the student loan may sound like a nice plan to avoid high tuition fee billings, this may not be the solution Nigerian students need. Here’s why:

    Students may not be able to pay back the loans 

    The fact still remains that a lot of Nigerian citizens are very broke. In November 2022, the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) announced that over 130 million Nigerians are suffering from multidimensional poverty.

    Just imagine suffering from not just a lack of money, but lack of good hospitals, lack of quality education, and even clean water. That’s what multidimensional poverty looks like.

    This is not to talk of the unemployment rate in Nigeria which rose to over 33% in 2022. How would Nigerian students pay their loans if they have no jobs?

    It hasn’t worked for other countries 

    America is a very good example of this. In August 2022, President Joe Biden announced his plans to cancel $10,000 worth of student loans for low to middle-income earners. 

    This was after America started experiencing loan debt of $1.6 trillion and above for more than 45 million borrowers.

    If America could suffer this much student debt with only a 3.7% unemployment rate, who is Nigeria to take the challenge on?

    Nigeria already has an education tax

    Many corporate companies are already paying for education funding in Nigeria, thanks to the Education Trust Fund (ETF) Act of 2011 and the Education Tax under it. 

    According to the Act, all corporate companies are required to pay 2.5% of their assessable profit every year to support the funding of Nigerian universities. There are even plans in the new Finance Bill of 2022 to increase the tax up to 10% for these companies. And it’s not just your regular startups. Think of companies like MTN, Dangote Group, Mobil, and many more. 

    But despite this tax increase, why isn’t this having the desired impact on education financing? These are factors Tinubu should consider before embarking on the implementation of a student loan.

  • APC’s Presidential Campaign Is In Full Swing. Where is Osinbajo?

    On October 19, 2022, the All Progressives Congress (APC) launched the Tinubu/Shettima Presidential Campaign Council (PCC). The council was chaired by President Muhammadu Buhari and included other APC heavyweights like the Kaduna State governor Nasir El-Rufai, Kano State governor Abdullahi Ganduje, Minister for Works Babatunde Fashola and the Senate President Ahmed Lawan.

    One big name was missing from the list. The vice president and former protege of Bola Ahmed Tinubu (BAT), Yemi Osinbajo. In June 2022, Osinbajo contested against BAT and 12 other aspirants at the APC Presidential primaries. BAT won with 1271 delegate votes ahead of Rotimi Amaechi, who finished second with 316 votes and Osinbajo, who finished a distant third with 235 votes.

    While the APC primaries were a coronation for BAT, Osinbajo didn’t leave without taking shots at his boss. Nigerians who followed the primaries will remember that speech.

    How have things played out since then?

    Campaigns have been going on since October, but neither Osinbajo nor several other contenders at the primaries have been seen with BAT on his campaign trail. Notable absentees include Rotimi Amaechi, Tunde Bakare and Rochas Okorocha. For Osinbajo, though, it has been a bit of a cat-and-mouse game.

    In October 2022, BAT speaking in Kano said he had forgiven Osinbajo which suggests there was some beef. However, both of them have subtly ignored each other. For instance, at the conclusion of the APC primaries, BAT saluted other APC members but skipped Osinbajo. He shook hands with him following the prompting of House Speaker Femi Gbajamiala.

    Osinbajo must have kept that snub in mind and retaliated a few months later. At the burial ceremony of the mother of Ondo State governor, Rotimi Akeredolu, high-profile APC politicians were in attendance, including BAT. Osinbajo also ”forgot” him when paying respect to the dignitaries before acknowledging his “error”.

    On December 21, 2022, Osinbajo visited BAT in Abuja. It was the first time outside public functions that the duo met since his defeat at the primaries. The meeting was described as not being a political one but in the spirit of the Christmas season.

    Regardless, Osinbajo has continued to stay away from BAT’s campaign.

    So where are Osinbajo and the others?

    Osinbajo has mostly been ‘focused’ on his work, travelling for functions and heading Nigeria’s energy transition plan. Anything to keep him far away from BAT.

    He’s not alone, either. No one has heard from Rotimi Amaechi, who was Buhari’s campaign director-general for the 2015 and 2019 elections. There are rumblings that Amaechi has not been “treated fairly” by BAT.

    Fashola seems more concerned with inspecting and delivering road projects rather than votes for BAT. 

    Okorocha who was excluded from the PCC said he has “subtle ways of campaigning” for the party.

    Bakare still believes he’ll be Buhari’s successor or “number 16” following his prediction that he’d be Nigeria’s 16th president. We don’t know how, as he scored zero votes at the APC primaries, but one can never say never.

  • The Labour Party Is Tired of Tolerating BAT’s Disrespect

    On December 1, 2022, the Labour Party (LP) held a press conference in Abuja to set off enough fireworks to go around. Among the issues raised, the party’s vice presidential candidate, Datti Baba-Ahmed, called out the All Progressives Congress (APC) and its flag bearers, Bola Ahmed Tinubu (BAT) and Kashim Shettima.

    What did Datti say?

    Datti accused BAT of being “indecorous”. That’s a fancy way of saying the BAT lacks class. Here are his words: “A few days ago, the presidential candidate of the APC speaking in Delta State, and referring to our presidential candidate, said it was a disgrace to mention his name. While our candidate is quite comfortable with not being mentioned, it is most unpresidential, indecorous and disrespectful from the candidate who claims his turn at Nigerian Presidency.”

    Datti also had words for Shettima whom he congratulated for improving his dressing but scolded for bringing shame to his heritage. 

    The response was so scathing, it even referenced BAT’s alleged links with narcotics.

    “Little wonder that their vice presidential candidate has consistently put to shame the noble heritage of the great Bornu Empire, in his unguarded and uncultured public pronouncements, which expose his intellectual laziness and discomfort with empirical facts and arguments. 

    “Regular insults, which have now become his trademark, haven’t spared the current vice president whom he directed to go and sell ice cream, or the former vice president whom he described as a pure water seller, a noble venture which serves the populace better than a certain white substance.”

    What else did Datti say?

    Datti accused the APC of promoting falsehood and discrediting the candidacy of Peter Obi by spreading lies about the former governor demolishing mosques, deporting northerners and being against the production of oil in the North. 

    He also took digs at the government whom he accused of abandoning its responsibility to safeguard the lives of citizens. Datti referenced the recent assassination of Victoria Chintex, an LP women leader in Kaduna State. He also spoke against the alleged battery and arrest of a student, Aminu Mohammed, over a social media post directed at the first lady, Aisha Buhari.

    Has the APC responded?

    Not yet. The APC has most recently been on a campaign trail in Bayelsa State. But they’re probably cooking their response. If we know anything about the APC, it’s that they don’t believe in turning the other cheek.

    What should we expect?

    More fireworks, obviously. Nobody cares that we’re approaching the festive season as things will only get more intense with the February 2023 election looming. We only hope all the dogs in this fight reserve some respect for the peace accord they signed. Political banter is unavoidable but it should only be that — banter. Otherwise, Nigeria could be teetering on the brink of electoral violence. And we definitely don’t want that.

  • What BAT’s Tompolo Visit Tells Us About Nigerian Politics

    Unless you’re very new to Nigerian politics, Tompolo is a name that rings many bells. He’s been trending online since the All Progressives Congress (APC) candidate, Bola Ahmed Tinubu (BAT), visited him on November 25, 2022. 

    When a frontrunner for the presidency is showing up on your doorsteps then it’s clear you wield some clout. So we need to understand who Tompolo is, and why this visit is significant.

    Who’s Tompolo?

    Tompolo’s birth name is Government Ekpemupolo. That’s not a typo, his name is really Government so we aren’t shocked he grew up to become a government unto himself. Tompolo was born in 1971, to a royal family in Okerenkoko, Gbaramatu Kingdom of Warri South Local Government Area in Delta state.

    In 1993, Tompolo dropped out of school to join a resistance group in the Niger Delta. He was a member of the Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND) and was later invited to join fellow militant Asari Dokubo’s Niger Delta People’s Volunteer Force (NDPVF). He rose through the ranks to become a high commander at MEND and used his influence and wealth to fund the powerful militant group. 

    Tompolo led several raids against oil facilities in the Niger Delta, blew up pipelines and crippled Nigeria’s oil production in a bid to call the government’s attention to the degradation of the Niger Delta — by degrading the Niger Delta. There’s an expression for this kind of behaviour: “Cutting your nose to spite your face.” 

    Naturally, he caught the attention of the federal government. After negotiations with the administration of President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua in 2009, Tompolo and other groups agreed to lay down their arms in exchange for amnesty and cash. For the time, the destruction in the region ceased.

    Buhari goes after Tompolo

    After Yar’Adua’s death, Goodluck Jonathan took over as president and the Niger Delta was relatively stable. Jonathan’s loss in 2015 however, upset the status quo. Tompolo became a wanted man again. 

    Remember that Muhammadu Buhari campaigned to fight corruption to a standstill? Tompolo became a priority on his list as he was under a lucrative contract by the previous government to secure pipelines in the Niger Delta. In 2016, the EFCC declared him wanted over the illegal diversion of ₦34 billion belonging to the Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency (NIMASA).

    In response to the court warrant for his arrest, Tompolo allegedly blew up more oil installations in the Niger Delta. The battle was on between Government and the federal government.

    Tompolo goes into hiding

    With the full force of the real government bearing down on him, Tompolo went into hiding. In 2016, the Nigerian army raided his village and arrested the traditional ruler. Tompolo cried out from hiding to deny responsibility for the attacks on oil facilities, and blamed another militant group, the Niger Delta Avengers (NDA). 

    In July 2020, a federal high court dismissed all charges against Tompolo. He made his first public appearance after six years in October 2020.

    Why is BAT’s visit significant?

    The same man who was declared wanted under the administration of the APC has now become the beautiful bride. BAT’s campaigner, Festus Keyamo, who was the prosecutor in the case against Tompolo, embraced him warmly during the visit.

    The BAT also visited the traditional ruler of Gbaramatu. He bagged a chieftaincy title and promised the kingdom a deep sea port, university and industrial park.

    If Tompolo’s story points to anything, it’s that there are no permanent enemies in Nigerian politics, only permanent interests. Whether this visit will translate to sizable votes for Tinubu in the South-South remains to be seen. For now, let’s just sit back and watch Nigeria’s political drama unfold.

  • How Tinubu Won the Support of Goodluck Jonathan’s Kinsmen

    The 2023 general elections are right around the corner; you can almost taste the growing tensions in the air. The presidential candidates are running everywhere begging for votes in places they’ll never visit again if they win and voters are trying to decide who’s the most qualified for the job. 

    Various interest groups are also aligning with these candidates because, after all, who wouldn’t want to be in the good books of the future president? 

    How Tinubu Won the Support of Goodluck Jonathan's Kinsmen

    Ever since Bola Tinubu won the presidential ticket of the All Progressives’ Congress (APC) and kickstarted his campaign, it’s almost as though he’s playing three-dimensional chess. Because despite his many gaffes, concerns about his health and unanswered questions about his academic credentials, more followers from across the country keep falling at his feet. 

    Who joined the bandwagon recently? 

    The members of the Citizens Network For Peace and Development (CNPDN) are the latest group to declare their support for Tinubu who they believe is the candidate with the best structure and capacity for victory. 

    How Tinubu Won the Support of Goodluck Jonathan's Kinsmen

    The CNPDN was part of the coalition of Goodluck Jonathan’s kinsmen who tried to convince the former president to contest for a second term in 2023 as a candidate of the APC. There were mixed reactions to this possibility which looked like it was going to happen until Jonathan abandoned ship because he wants nothing to do with Nigeria’s mess again. 

    This setback forced the CNPDN to throw their weight behind Tinubu because they think he’s the best thing since Jonathan. In their words, the next president of Nigeria needs to be a southerner and Tinubu possesses a wealth of political experience and intellectual sagacity. 

    How Tinubu Won the Support of Goodluck Jonathan's Kinsmen

    With the political climate right now looking like a real life Game of Thrones, we can only anticipate what’s in store for us in the weeks leading to the 2023 elections. It may be difficult to predict which candidate has the upper hand right now, but it’s interesting to watch  different alliances form. 

    Regardless of who comes out victorious, we hope the odds will be in the favour of those that matter the most: the people.

  • It’s 100 Days Until the 2023 Elections. What Has Happened?

    Today, November 16, 2022, makes it exactly 100 days till the general elections scheduled for February 25, 2023. A lot has happened since campaigns officially kicked off on September 28, 2022. 

    Here are some interesting things that have happened so far, and what you can expect in the coming days.

    PDP flags off campaign with Obi chants

    Despite the many internal squabbles happening in the People’s Democratic Party (PDP), the party’s campaign took off in Uyo on October 10, 2022 and there were reports of a massive crowd. However, the standout moment came when PDP supporters were singing Obi kerenke chants at the rally. A truly forgettable moment for PDP’s Atiku Abubakar.

    Labour Party kicks off campaign with low turnout

    It was the turn of the Labour Party (LP) to kick-start its campaign which it did on October 29, 2022, in Nasarawa state. While the PDP had Obi supporters turn out in good numbers at its rally a few days earlier, they somehow managed to hide their faces where they were truly needed.

    Doyin Okupe, an LP spokesperson, said the state government employed tactics designed to frustrate its supporters, including scheduling an environmental sanitation on that day to limit movement. 

    He claimed that this was the first time in seven years that the state was doing such a thing, reducing its available supporters by 90 percent. Looks like there’s enough breakfast to go around.

    APC gets a hostile reception

    APC kicked off its campaign on November 15, 2022, in Plateau state. While other interesting things took place, there was also the unfortunate matter of boos and stones being reportedly hurled during the campaign.

    To be fair though, the APC in 2015 asked us to stone them if they fail to perform. So there’s that.

    What can we expect in the next 100 days?

    Things are bound to get very exciting. Expect funny soundbites, epic fails, more gaffes and mudslinging. 

    Meanwhile, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has said that while all that is happening in the background, it remains loyal to Nigerians. Already it has published its voter register online for Nigerians to make claims and objections. You can head over here to learn more.

     ALSO READ: Embarrassing Moments from 2023 Presidential Candidates so Far

  • Embarrassing Moments from 2023 Presidential Candidates so Far

    It’s the World Cup in a few days and while Nigeria won’t be taking part, there are no hard feelings as there’s enough drama at home to keep us occupied. With things getting intense ahead of the 2023 elections, we’ve seen presidential candidates buckle under pressure with twists and slips. 

    Being the troublemakers that we are, we’ve compiled the top four embarrassing moments  of the presidential campaigns so far.

    Atiku has his “emi lokan” moment

    We start with the unifier. Atiku Abubakar of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP), had his first major gaffe at an interactive session on October 14, 2022. Addressing the Arewa Joint Committee, Atiku was asked what his plans were for the North. 

    We should have known he was up to no good when he turned up in sneakers. He took the mic, and the words that came from his mouth were in stark contrast to his goal of unifying Nigerians. 

    His words: “I think what the average northerner needs is someone who is from the North, and who also understands the other parts of Nigeria, and who has been able to build bridges across the rest of the country. This is what the northerner needs. He doesn’t need a Yoruba candidate, or an Igbo candidate. This is what the northerner needs.”

    Nigerians had interesting reactions to this online.

    BAT loves bad things

    Bola Tinubu (BAT) of the All Progressives Congress (APC) is no stranger to controversies. If anything, he delights in them. At a summit in Kaduna, around the same time Atiku was pulling his “emi lokan” stunt, BAT reminded us that he’s the true king of comical errors. 

    In what was supposed to be a compliment to Nasir El-Rufai, BAT still found a way to throw a jab at him. He said: “I’m begging Nasiru El-Rufai not to run away for (an) additional degree. Your vision, creativity and resiliency in turning a rotten situation into a bad one is necessary at this critical time.”

    His spokesman called it a “slip of tongue”. But as you’ll find out soon, that would be one of several slips to come.

    Obi and his unverifiable facts

    Peter Obi (The Rock) of the Labour Party (LP) has no doubt captured a lot of supporters, building his Obidient army. And if there’s anything he is famous for, it is quoting statistics to back up his claims. However, not all rocks are solid, as Obi has shown us.

    His most prominent gaffe came in an interview on Channels TV. On July 25, 2022, he claimed that of the 150 players playing in the National Basketball Association (NBA), almost 100 are Nigerians. 

    You know how Obi always says “Go and verify”? Well, fact-checkers did and they found his claim to be untrue. Turns out that among the 109 international players registered for the league’s 2021-2022 season, only five — and not “almost 100” — are from Nigeria.

    The BAT strikes again

    BAT’s most recent gaffe places him head and shoulders above the presidential pack. At a rally on November 15, 2022, in Plateau state, the BAT lost track of his own political party when he asked God to “bless the PDAPC”. We checked, and there’s no party by that name. 

    Naturally, we have questions.

    And theories.

    And a winner.

    Are there any other moments you think we left out? Let us know in the comments.

    ALSO READ: Atiku Joins Tribal Olympics and BAT’s Lips Are Loose Again

  • Bola Tinubu Is Too Shy to Share His Plans With Nigerians

    There are certain traits voters look out for in a potential president: a strong vision for the future, the ability to get things done, some swag, and effective communication skills. 

    On top of all that, it’s also crucial that a potential president isn’t so much of an introvert to the point of shying away from engaging the people whose votes he needs to get into office.

    Bola Tinubu Is Too Shy to Share His Plans With Nigerians

    Nigerians already have experience with shy presidents who don’t engage enough with the public —  one of them is still sitting in Aso Rock Villa communicating with press statements and pre-recorded video broadcasts. 

    To avoid history repeating itself, Nigerians must start to question the dodging pattern of the All Progressives Congress (APC) candidate, Bola Tinubu. 

    Bola Tinubu Is Too Shy to Share His Plans With Nigerians

    Here’s a quick rundown of his public engagement record since he won his party’s ticket.

    NBA conference

    The annual conference of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) was the first public gathering of presidential candidates after political parties concluded their primary elections in June. 

    The NBA offered its platform to six candidates, including Tinubu, to address Nigerians on their big plans. Everyone showed up, except Tinubu who sent his running mate, Kashim Shettima, to represent him. Shettima himself raised some eyebrows for showing up like this:

    Bola Tinubu Is Too Shy to Share His Plans With Nigerians

    Shettima further goofed by implying he would be in charge of the armed forces as the vice president. Tinubu’s failure to attend the conference predictably caused some backlash and possibly even made it more likely he’ll miss future public gatherings with his opponents. 

    Peace Accord

    The National Peace Committee (NPC) invited all the presidential candidates to sign a peace accord in Abuja on September 29th, 2022. As you can already guess, Tinubu failed to show up there. He sent his running mate one more time to represent him. Shettima’s fashion didn’t ruffle any feathers this time around.

    Bola Tinubu Is Too Shy to Share His Plans With Nigerians

    Tinubu missed the signing because he was away in the United Kingdom “resting”. This rest period stretched into two weeks and prompted rumours that he was sick and receiving medical treatment.

    To keep everyone’s mouth shut, he released a short video of himself riding a gym bicycle:

    Back to Nigeria

    After his gym bicycle stunt met widespread mockery online, Tinubu made what we imagine he considers a triumphant return to the country, fully energised to start his campaign. 

    Bola Tinubu Is Too Shy to Share His Plans With Nigerians

    He thinks he’s James Bond

    When he launched the APC’s Women Presidential Campaign Council in Abuja, he said whoever’s demanding a change of party at the national level should keep their dirty mouths shut. 

    Finally, the presidential candidate was well and truly ready to kick things off and engage with Nigerians, right?

    ICAN conference

    On October 12th, 2022, presidential candidates appeared at the 52nd Annual Accountants’ Conference of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) in their third public gathering since August. Guess who didn’t show up again? Bola Ahmed Tinubu.

    Bola Tinubu Is Too Shy to Share His Plans With Nigerians

    He didn’t even send Shettima to represent him this time. A moderator of the event mentioned that Tinubu’s team promised he’d be at the event before it ended, but he never showed up.

    What’s Bola Tinibu hiding?

    Out of three high-profile public engagements Tinubu has been invited to share his plans with Nigerians, he’s not shown up once. He’s also the only one of the three yet to sit down for a TV interview, whether live or pre-recorded. And he also doesn’t have a campaign manifesto for a comprehensive discussion of his plans. 

    Bola Tinubu Is Too Shy to Share His Plans With Nigerians

    Tinubu’s pattern of behaviour has raised concerns that he also won’t turn up for the presidential debate when it’s time for that. We’d hate to speculate the reasons for his dodgy behaviour but it should worry voters.

    Tinubu’s claim to Nigeria’s Iron Throne is that it’s his turn to become president but every time he gets a chance to make his point, he turns up missing. It’s up to Nigerians to decide in 2023 if they want to reward that kind of behaviour.

  • Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria’s Iron Throne

    It’s simply impossible not to have noticed the presidential campaign of Bola Ahmed Tinubu. He’s not just the candidate of the ruling All Progressives’ Congress (APC), he’s one of those faces that have lasted in Nigerian politics as long as that stubborn piece of corn stuck in your teeth.

    Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria's Iron Throne

    Tinubu’s long game

    Tinubu first won an election in Nigeria in 1992, a year that millions of people voting next year had not yet been born. His tenure as a senator didn’t last long due to General Sani Abacha‘s military takeover in 1993. But like yeast, Tinubu didn’t stay down.

    He contested and won the election to become the governor of Lagos in 1999 and was a thorn in the side of the Olusegun Obasanjo-led Federal Government for much of his eight-year reign.

    When Tinubu finished his tenure in 2007, he might have felt he was ripe for the presidency, but he had a problem: Olusegun Obasanjo, a fellow Yoruba man, had just finished a two-term tenure at the Aso Rock Villa

    The political climate was calling for a northerner to replace him in fulfilment of an unwritten gentleman’s agreement to rotate the president’s seat between the north and the south. 

    Tinubu realistically couldn’t make an immediate run for the presidency, and so his plotting began.

    Operation Emi Lokan

    Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria's Iron Throne

    Tinubu’s 2023 campaign has been standing firm on an entitled slogan that it’s his turn to sit on Nigeria’s Iron Throne. “Emi lokan” was the soundbite of his infamous rant in June 2022 when the APC was considering choosing a consensus candidate that would likely not be him. Nigerians mocked him for his rant and the soundbite in particular, but Tinubu has turned around to make it the tagline for his presidential bid.

    Where exactly did the sense of entitlement come from? Let’s go back to 2007.

    2007

    In 2007, Tinubu was in control of the Action Congress (AC), a party with enough clout to contest a national election. But since he couldn’t compete because of his limited chances of victory, he needed a northern ally to use his formidable platform. 

    For the 2007 election, he found Atiku Abubakar, a vice president and outcast who left the ruling party to fulfil his own presidential ambition.

    Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria's Iron Throne

    It was a plot convenience that worked for everyone

    It would appear that Tinubu’s plan in 2007 was to ride a northerner into Aso Rock Villa. The payoff for him would be the northerner’s support for his own shot at the presidency after eight years. He even tried to be appointed Atiku’s running mate, but they’re both Muslims and would have upset the typical religious balance of a presidential ticket. So Atiku said:

    Even though Atiku finished in the third position at the polls, Tinubu had hacked a formula to plot his way to Aso Rock Villa through delayed gratification. It was the perfect plan.

    2011

    By 2011, Umaru Musa Yar’Adua, the northerner who won the 2007 election, had died and Goodluck Jonathan, his vice president, stepped up as president. Jonathan, a southerner, contested for his first term in office in 2011, spitting in the face of the PDP’s rotational arrangement because he already had a taste of presidential power and wasn’t willing to let go.

    Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria's Iron Throne

    But Tinubu failed to run yet again, offering up the platform of the AC, already renamed Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN) at the time, to another outcast northerner, Nuhu Ribadu. In fact, all the four aspirants who contested for the ACN’s presidential ticket were northerners even though southerners dominated the party. 

    Again, the gambit failed and Ribadu finished third. But even before that election concluded, Tinubu’s ACN was already plotting with a more established northerner for a merger.

    In the search for a solution to his presidency problems, Tinubu found one Muhammadu Buhari.

    Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria's Iron Throne

    2015 and 2019

    By 2015, Tinubu’s ACN had merged with other established opposition parties including Buhari’s Congress for Progressive Change (CPC). This merger gave birth to the APC we know today.

    Buhari had been running for the president’s seat since 2003 with little success. But with Tinubu’s political “structure”, he made new inroads to southern votes and the APC rose to power on the promise of change.

    Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria's Iron Throne

    Even then, Tinubu was desperate to become Buhari’s vice president. The only problem, again, was they’re both Muslims and that made the ticket politically-radioactive.

    And even though Tinubu didn’t get what he wanted then, the only thing that sustained him was the thought of biding his time for what the future held for him. In 2015, he did his part and put a northerner in Aso Rock Villa. All he had to do was wait eight years for his turn.

    Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria's Iron Throne

    2023: Emi lokan 

    According to the permutations of the unwritten rotation policy which has now been thrown inside the dustbin, 2023 is the time for another southern president after eight years of a northern one at the helm of power.

    When Tinubu had his infamous “emi lokan” rant in June 2022, he didn’t just weaponise it for himself, but also for his ethnic Yoruba group. This is despite the fact Nigeria already had a Yoruba president for eight years, unlike the southeast region which has produced none. 

    Emi Lokan: Why Tinubu Feels Entitled to Nigeria's Iron Throne

    Irrespective of his attempt to make it about the south, it’s clear that Tinubu’s ambition is solely about him and the long game he’s been playing down the length and breadth of Nigeria for years, just so he can retire in Aso Rock Villa

    Tinubu now has what he wants: his name on the presidential election ballot, his very own Muslim-Muslim ticket and a shot at Nigeria’s Iron Throne. But will he ever sit on it?


    ALSO READ: Atiku Can’t Stop Running for President Despite His Record


    Wouldn’t you like to read a newsletter that helps you dig into all the good, bad and extremely bizarre things happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you? Then you should sign up for Game of Votes.

  • Who Could Become Nigeria’s First Elected Female Governor in 2023?

    Even though Nigerian women are just as involved in elections as men, they have very little representation in government. Some women have over the years made it into elected legislative seats, but Nigerians have never elected a female governor.

    These are the women that want to change that in 2023.

    Aishatu Ahmed — Adamawa State

    Who Could Become Nigeria's First Elected Female Governor in 2023?

    Senator Aishatu Ahmed beat a very crowded field of challengers to win the governorship ticket of the All Progressives Congress (APC) in Adamawa State. She defeated a former governor, a former EFCC chairman and a serving member of the House of Representatives to land on the ballot.

    She was a member of the House of Representatives between 2011 and 2015 and has been a senator since 2019. 

    Senator Ahmed is a favourite to win the election and become the first ever elected female governor in Nigeria.

    Nnenna Lancaster-Okoro — Abia State

    Who Could Become Nigeria's First Elected Female Governor in 2023?

    Nnenna Lancaster-Okoro is the governorship candidate of the People’s Redemption Party (PRP) in Abia State.

    She’s had unsuccessful runs in senatorial elections in 2015, 2016 and 2019 with APC and the Young Progressives Party (YPP). 

    She isn’t the only woman on the ballot in Abia.

    Ngozi Ogbuleke — Abia State 

    Ngozi Ogbuleke is the governorship candidate of the Social Democratic Party (SDP) in Abia State. 

    Obiang Marikane Stanley — Cross River State

    Obiang Marikane Stanley is the governorship candidate of the Action Democratic Party (ADP) in Cross River State.

    Beatrice Itubo — Rivers State 

    Who Could Become Nigeria's First Elected Female Governor in 2023?

    Beatrice Itubo is the governorship candidate of the Labour Party (LP) in Rivers State. She beat a former member of the House of Representatives to win the party’s ticket.

    Itubo is also the chairperson of the Rivers State council of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC).

    Sophia Cookey — Rivers State

    Sophia Cookey is the governorship candidate of the Zenith Labour Party (ZLP) in Rivers State.

    Tina Barde — Niger State 

    Tina Barde is the governorship candidate of the Labour Party (LP) in Niger State.

    Khadijat Abdullahi-Iya — Niger State

    Who Could Become Nigeria's First Elected Female Governor in 2023?

    Khadijah Abdullahi-Iya is the governorship candidate of the All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA) in Niger State. She was a vice presidential candidate in the 2019 presidential election on Fela Durotoye’s ticket for the Alliance for New Nigeria (ANN). 

    Sufiat Adekemi Iskil-Ogunyomi — Ogun State

    Sufiat Adekemi Iskil-Ogunyomi is the governorship candidate of the Action Alliance (AA) in Ogun State.

    Kassim Jackie-Adunni — Ogun State

    Who Could Become Nigeria's First Elected Female Governor in 2023?

    Kassim Jackie-Adunni is the governorship candidate of the New Nigeria People’s Party (NNPP) in Ogun State. 

    She was also on the ballot for the 2019 governorship election as the candidate of the defunct United Democratic Party (UDP) but finished with 861 votes.

    The 2023 general elections are expected to usher in a new direction for Nigeria, and these women could break the glass ceiling for that future. May the best woman win.

    ALSO READ: Who Are the Biggest Onigbese Governors in Nigeria?

  • What Everyone’s Saying about APC’s Muslim-Muslim Presidential Ticket

    Nigeria has a long shopping list of campaign issues, heading into the 2023 presidential election. Some of the most burning revolve around insecurity, the economy and inflation that’s swelling the price of bread

    What Everyone's Saying about APC's Muslim-Muslim Presidential Ticket

    But another issue high on that list is the composition of the presidential ticket of the All Progressives Congress (APC). Bola Tinubu, who’s a Muslim, picked a fellow Muslim, Kashim Shettima, as his running mate for the election.

    What Everyone's Saying about APC's Muslim-Muslim Presidential Ticket

    Nigeria hasn’t had two Muslim candidates on the same ticket since 1993, so the APC ticket has caused some stir nationwide. Here’s what some prominent voices have said about it:

    Edwin Clark — elder statesman

    “There’s presently a sharp division in the country, even on religious lines, and all patriots are seeking ways to salvage the situation. Therefore, Alhaji Tinubu’s decision to take a fellow Muslim as his running mate will further worsen the situation in the country. He should know that patriotism is a quality of a good leader.   

    “There are rumours of an attempt to Islamise the country. Are all these pointers to the confirmation and actualisation of such rumours?”

    Festus Keyamo — Minister of State for Labour and Employment

    “The government doesn’t exist to assuage the egos of religious leaders, but to bring about development for everyone. There’s no country in the world where history tells us that its development was a result of ‘balanced’ presidential tickets (in terms of religion) over the years. Countries developed as a result of visionary leadership and not because they pandered to some religious sentiments.”

    Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN)

    “We have stated it clearly that the situation in the country now is not suitable for a Muslim-Muslim ticket. It’s up to Nigerians to accept or reject.”


    ALSO READ: Imposters, Mechanics and Bola Tinubu’s Catholic Bishops


    Rotimi Akeredolu — governor of Ondo State

    “Muslim-Muslim ticket has nothing to do with performance. Let’s vote for someone that can do something. The work stops at the table of the president. It’s the president that you’re voting for. He decides what happens. Whether it’s a Muslim-Muslim or Christian-Christian ticket, it shouldn’t matter to us in the South because we fought for this.”

    Babachir Lawal — former Secretary to the Government of the Federation (SGF)

    “Nobody should aspire to be president of this country if he ignores the religious dichotomy in the system. We know that religion is a major factor in this country and it’s a divisive factor. And anybody wishing to lead this country, ought to be concerned that he’s going to kickstart his government in a manner that’s divisive and antagonistic to a certain segment of society.

    “It doesn’t matter whether it’s Christianity, or Igbo tribe, or Hausa tribe, or Muslims or so on. You are supposed to, first of all, seek to unite the people you intend to rule. Whatever else you will do, without this unity, nobody will appreciate it.”

    Elisha Abbo — senator (Adamawa North – APC)

    “It’s very irresponsible of Tinubu to take his political survival over the stability and peace of Nigeria. We cannot work for such a man. I’ll oppose a Christian-Christian ticket because I’m invested in the stability of this country. A Christian-Christian ticket will be insensitive to Muslims of this country.

    “The country is evenly divided among Muslims and Christians. So any government that’s Muslim-Muslim will be illegitimate and will never gain the respect of Christians.”

    Ohanaeze Ndigbo — Igbo socio-cultural group

    “Nigeria is a multi-religious and multi-ethnic country and any attempt by one religion to dominate the political structure can only widen the gap of mistrust and destroy the delicate sense of tolerance cultivated over the years. The APC has undermined the efforts of well-meaning Nigerians over the years to bridge religious differences and promote ethnic harmonious co-existence.

    Pastor Tunde Bakare — former APC presidential aspirant

    “We dream of a Nigeria in which every woman, as well as every man, will be able to aspire to any political office at any time without playing the ethnic card and without recourse to, “It’s our turn,” or “It’s their turn.”

    “What we need is a New Nigeria that works for every Nigerian, Christian as well as Muslim. Nationhood, rather than divisiveness, must be the objective of every engagement.

    “For the Christians in Northern Nigeria who feel marginalised by the choice of a Northern Muslim as running mate, the time has come to upgrade the conversation from politics to governance. The time has come to interrogate the impact of politics on development.”

    Youth Wing, Christian Association of Nigeria (YOWICAN)

    “We clearly want to emphasise that this isn’t healthy for the highly diversified Nigerian space, especially in the face of the growing and alarming insecurity in our nation at the moment. Any well-meaning presidential candidate will focus on the all-inclusive federal character.

    “A Muslim-Muslim presidential ticket insults the sensitivity of Nigerians and the Christian youths are saying a big NO!”


    ALSO READ: Who Are the Candidates for the 2023 Presidential Election?


  • Imposters, Mechanics and Bola Tinubu’s Catholic Bishops

    There’s a balancing act that’s necessary in the politics of a country as diverse as Nigeria. It’s the reason behind written codes like the federal character principle in the constitution and unwritten codes like the controversial zoning of political offices. Many Nigerians agree that balance is important to satisfy as many groups as possible.

    But Bola Tinubu isn’t many Nigerians — he’s even shipping a Muslim-Muslim ticket for the 2023 presidential election. The All Progressives Congress (APC) candidate caused a stir when he announced former Borno State governor, Kashim Shettima, as his running mate. 

    Controversy over Tinubu's catholic bishops

    A presidential ticket in Nigeria should typically have one northerner and one southerner filling the slots for president and vice president. It also helps that one of them is Christian and the other one is Muslim — sorry to the traditionalists and atheists who have zero representation in these permutations.

    Tinubu’s departure from this balanced convention has earned him heat from Christian organisations, the opposition and even members of his own party. But because he still needs balance in public perception of his ambition, he’s shopping for prominent Christian support. There was even a made-up story of endorsement from big hitters like Pastor Enoch Adeboye that was later debunked. 

    But what happens when you can’t secure the Christian endorsement you desperately need to boost your chances? Well, you get as creative and dramatic as possible.

    Tinubu’s Red Wedding

    When Tinubu officially unveiled Shettima as his running mate at a ceremony on July 20th, 2022, red flags went up all over the place.

    Controversy over Tinubu's catholic bishops

    Some of the invited guests at the ceremony immediately drew attention for wearing outfits that suggested they were Catholic bishops. Their presence immediately sent up red flags online as it was considered an endorsement of Tinubu’s controversial ticket.

    The only problem was no one seemed to recognise them as Christian leaders of any sort. Nigerians were naturally curious about where they came from.

    The improper manner some of the “bishops” were dressed suggested they’d only been Catholic bishops for like 30 minutes. It almost felt like they arrived at the venue in their everyday clothes and changed into their wrongly-themed and badly-fit Catholic outfits at the venue.

    Journalists at the event were eager to interview them but the “bishops” weren’t feeling very chatty. They maintained a wall of silence and kept waving off invasive questions like, “May we meet you?”, “What’s your name?” and “What’s the name of your church?”

    Catholic bishops didn't talk to press

    The only person on the team that agreed to speak to a journalist identified himself as Prince. He also introduced himself as the president of the “Muslim and Christian Love Foundation” — which isn’t suspicious at all. 

    Did the church say Amen?

    The Catholic Church immediately announced that it didn’t send any representatives to the event. The church described the “bishops” that showed up there as “imposters” based on the way they dressed and conducted themselves. 

    The Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) also described the “bishops” as hired mechanics who were given clerical garments. CAN official, Rev. Joseph John Hayab, said it best when he described the whole situation as “another Nollywood movie”. 

    It didn’t help their case that some of the “bishops” were caught on video changing into regular clothes after the show was over.

    Who are these people?

    The Tinubu campaign has assured everyone that the “bishops” at the event aren’t mechanics or yam sellers as everyone suspects. According to the campaign team, the “bishops” are just not big names in Christian circles yet.

    Since he’s struggled to secure the endorsement of A-list clergymen not named Tunde Bakare, Nigerians are supposed to believe Tinubu went to scrap the bottom of the pot for upcoming bishops.

    As it stands, no one can positively identify many of these “bishops”. But we found Prince and can confirm he’s sha a pastor of a church somewhere in Abuja:

    Controversy over Tinubu's catholic bishops

    But he’s also an APC party man:

    The bishop episode has further stoked anger about Tinubu’s disrespect for Nigeria’s huge Christian community. His campaign may be able put the scandal to rest by producing a list of names of the “bishops” and the addresses of their churches. But we continue to wait.

    Or, since Shettima himself gave a special shoutout to the “30 bishops” during his speech, maybe he can help with that list.


    ALSO READ: The 2023 Presidential Campaign Promises We Already Find Laughable


  • What You Should Know About Osun Governorship Election

    In democracies worldwide, an election is usually the best chance for groups of people to determine their own future. The Osun State governorship election will present voters with such an opportunity on Saturday, July 16th, 2022. 

    Here’s everything you need to know about this election.

    Why’s it taking place before 2023?

    Just like the June 18th, 2022 Ekiti State governorship election, the Osun State governorship election is one of a handful of governorship elections in Nigeria that doesn’t happen at the same time as the nationwide general elections. The Osun election fell out of sync with the regular timetable after the Supreme Court overturned Olagunsoye Oyinlola’s 2007 victory in favour of Rauf Aregbesola in 2010. 

    Is an incumbent governor involved?

    Yes. 

    Gboyega Oyetola will participate in the Osun governorship election

    The incumbent governor, Gboyega Oyetola, is contesting for a second term in office as the candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC). His biggest obstacle, yet again, is Ademola Adeleke of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) whom he narrowly beat in 2018.

    ALSO READ: Why These Nigerian States Have Off-Cycle Governorship Elections

    How many candidates are contesting?

    Nigeria has 18 political parties; 15 of them will participate in the Osun State governorship election. The three parties that won’t participate are Action Alliance (AA), All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA) and African Democratic Congress (ADC).

    All 15 governorship candidates are male, but there are six female deputy governorship candidates in the race. No woman has ever been elected governor in the history of Nigeria’s democracy.

    Osun governorship election candidates

    Osun governorship election candidates

    Source: INEC

    How many people are voting?

    There are 1,955,657 voters eligible to vote in the Osun State governorship election. But only about 1,479,595 (75.7%) have collected their permanent voter’s cards (PVC) as of Sunday, July 10th, 2022. 

    Number 7

    The upcoming contest is the seventh governorship election in Osun State since its creation in 1991. The Nigeria Police Force (NPF) has deployed 21,000 police officers to the state to ensure a peaceful process. 

    When will the winner be sworn in?

    The winner of the Osun State governorship election will be sworn in on November 27th, 2022.

    INEC advise voters on Osun governorship election

    ALSO READ: A Reminder That 2023 Is Not Just About Who Becomes President

  • Lessons We Learnt from APC Presidential Primaries

    We had to stay up all night to watch 22 presidential aspirants speak and then wait for over 2,000 delegates to vote using paper like it was 1980. But the All Progressives Congress’ (APC) national convention has finally ended after three days. 

    We observed a few things.

    Everybody loves kissing Buhari’s ass ring 

    If you took a shot each time an aspirant mentioned Buhari’s name during their pitch to delegates, you’d be blind drunk before the first 10 of them had spoken. Actually, you’d have liver damage if you took those shots during Ikeobasi Mokelu’s speech alone. Most of the aspirants were neck-deep in Buhari’s rectal sanctum, so it’s understandable the president’s face looked like this for most of the night. 

    Lessons We Learnt from APC Presidential Primaries

    Everybody hates bulk SMS

    When he climbed the podium for his final address to delegates, Pastor Tunde Bakare switched on his best Martin Luther King impression to toast them. But while his opponents were sending credit alerts in dollars to these delegates, he announced that he sent bulk SMS to them instead. 

    No one was surprised he got zero votes, but he got some online love for remembering the victims of the massacre in Ondo State.

    Ben Ayade is basically Shakespeare

    The bar is underground, but Senator Professor Ben Ayade, the governor of Cross River State — as he loves to be called — is easily the Shakespeare of his generation. In his speech to delegates, he talked about the “concept of Afghanistanism” and how he intends to fight insecurity with “satellite videography”. We don’t know what any of those things mean, but they were provocative and got the people going. It was giving a secondary school debate. 

    Tein Jack-Rich talks too much

    When he climbed the podium to address delegates, not a lot of people knew who Tein Jack-Rich was. By the time he was done, we discovered his mother’s natural brilliance brought all the boys to the yard, three different men promised her marriage, impregnated her and all abandoned her. Then, a man who would later become his father, who retired early from the Army because of a bullet wound, rescued her from the streets, but also left her eventually because, well, everyone leaves. Jack-Rich was also in primary school till he was 15 years old before he moved to the city and then became a rich man. 

    Lessons We Learnt from APC Presidential Primaries

    All of this could have been a Twitter thread or a smashing Asaba Nollywood hit, but Mr Jack-Rich paid ₦100 million to tell it to delegates who said, “Touching story, but you no do transfer.”

    ALSO READ: The Wildest Sob Stories Ever by Nigerian Politicians

    Ahmad Lawan thinks he’s Joe Biden

    Senate President Ahmad Lawan’s pitch for the presidency was that developed countries usually elect senators as presidents. He pointed to Joe Biden and Barack Obama as shining examples of senators who became presidents. The only thing he forgot was that he’s not Joe Biden, and no one thinks about Nigeria at the mention of “developed countries”.

    Osinbajo wants to send black people to the moon or something

    Lessons We Learnt from APC Presidential Primaries

    Vice President Yemi Osinbajo is proof that you can get away with anything as long as you have a sweet mouth. When he shared his vision with delegates at the convention, you’d be forgiven for forgetting — for a moment — that he’s been part of the current government for the past seven years. One of the highlights of his address was sharing his vision that Nigeria could become the first country to send a team of black astronauts to space by 2040. We don’t want to be accused of being small-minded so we won’t laugh at that vision. But hopefully, we can hack 24/7 power supply first so that our ship doesn’t get stuck in Mercury retrograde.

    Nigeria remains motherless

    Other than calling delegates “Naijas”, Uju Ohanenye stood out at the APC convention as the only woman in the race. “Mama don come on board. Everything go better,” she said with the air of someone addressing their starving children at the dinner table. She said she only joined the race because Nigeria needs a mother, but then stepped down for… Tinubu just moments later. The search for Nigeria’s mother continues.

    We can’t trust anything Onu says

    Remember how Buhari’s campaign team promised to make ₦1 the same as $1 only to deny it after winning the election? We didn’t think anyone would make that mistake ever again, but the former Minister of Science and Technology, Ogbonnaya Onu, took a step further: he promised to make the naira even stronger than the dollar. This is the same man who promised to localise the production of pencils and failed to deliver that after seven years. We believe him as much as we believe in the government’s poverty alleviation schemes.

    Lessons We Learnt from APC Presidential Primaries

    Tinubu wants to carry Nigeria’s problems — even though his hands can barely hold anything

    Lessons We Learnt from APC Presidential Primaries

    Tinubu’s ideal candidate for Nigeria’s next president is someone who’s willing to carry Nigeria’s many problems on their head. And, of course, he nominated himself to be that person, even though his hands were shaking like a mini Tiger generator for the herculean task of flipping the page of his written speech. He won APC’s presidential ticket at the end of the convention and we frankly don’t know what to learn from that other than when it’s your turn, it’s your turn. Good luck to everyone involved.

    Lessons We Learnt from APC Presidential Primaries

    ALSO READ: Lessons We Learnt from PDP’s National Convention

  • Which Nigerian Song Accurately Describes Our Presidential Candidates?

    Can we all agree that the DJ who kept dropping bops was the best part of last night’s APC convention? While we sat and watched contestant after contestant come on stage to either step-down or drop hot lies, the DJ turned each break into a dance party. Inspired by his incredibly shady playlist, we’ve decided to give each presidential candidate a song that accurately matches their chaotic energy. 

    1. Bola Ahmed Tinubu — Buga (Lo Lo Lo) by Kizz Daniel 

    This election has given Tinubu more nicknames than your local up and coming rapper. The self-declared kingmaker who’s decided that he must be president before he turns 100, was welcomed to the APC convention stage with “Collect your money. Wake up” from Kizz Daniel’s Buga (Lo Lo Lo), playing loudly. After hearing the lyrics to that song, we’re not surprised other candidates started withdrawing from the race. It’s almost like the ₦100 million they spent in buying the presidential form was shawarma money. 

    2. Professor Yemi Osinbajo — Playboy by Fireboy DML 

    No other song describes our BDSM king like this banger from Fireboy DML. A true Yoruba demon tune, Professor Yemi Osinbajo is the biggest political playboy of the presidential race. He has the swagger, the white agbada, the sweet mouth and most importantly, the gaslighting tricks. This man promised to change Nigeria and literally give us the moon like he hasn’t been a part of the current government for seven years. We see you, Christian Grey. Ooof!

    3. Atiku Abubakar — Stand Strong by Davido 

    This has to be Atiku’s morning devotion song. After running for president five times, this man is still standing strong, even though most of us would prefer it if he just sat down. It can’t be that deep, sir. It’s almost like he forgot something in Aso Rock, because why has he been running for president way before we even had Nokia 3310? On Stand Strong, Davido sings about having more than nine lives, which might mean Atiku has three more elections if he loses the one in 2023. Wahala. 

    4. Rochas Okorocha — Levels by Flavour 

    It’s only in Nigeria that a presidential aspirant will confidently announce at the primaries that less than a week ago, he was in detention based on corruption charges. Rochas came on the stage to shade all the other aspirants and remind them that he was rich before he even went into politics, unlike the other brokies using government funds to run. With that type of energy, there’s no way Levels by Flavour isn’t this man’s theme song. Shade aside, that statement is rich, coming from someone who allegedly stole over ₦2.9 billion from public funds. Glass houses, Rochas, glass houses. 

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    5. Peter Obi — Gentility by Melvitto and Wande Coal 

    Peter Obi definitely listens to Gentitility, and we aren’t talking about the sped-up TikTok version. The former Anambra state governor has moved from vice presidential candidate to presidential aspirant at the PDP and now, Labour Party presidential candidate. He may not have the initial ginger of all the other presidential candidates, but he has managed to become an underdog ahead of the 2023 polls. You can definitely tell that this man recites the lines “Gentitlity oshey stupidity” every time he wakes up. 

    6. Nyesom Wike — Free Madness by Terry G 

    Is there anyone Nyesom Wike hasn’t fought with? From Bubu to Edo state governor, Godwin Obaseki, this man is famous for giving you gbas gbos if you mistakenly breathe in his direction. Since he lost the PDP ticket to Vin Diesel Atiku Abubakar, we doubt we’ll be seeing that energy in Aso Rock. Either way, Free Madness is definitely his morning alarm song. 

    7. Uju Ohanenye — Sweet Mother by Prince Nico

    We should’ve known something was wrong when she started her speech by saying,” Naijas”. Where is the “s” from? Who says that? Because her motivation to run hinged on the assumption that Nigeria needs a mother, it feels apt that her official theme song be Sweet Mother by Prince Nico. Thanks for coming ma. 

    8. Rotimi Amaechi — Kilometre by Burna Boy

    Why Kilometre by Burna Boy? Amaechi was the Minister of Transport, and he also ran a lap around a stadium to prove he’s fit to run for president. We didn’t even have to dig deep for this one. He repeatedly asked delegates not to vote for him if they didn’t think he was qualified. Quick question, sir, are we voting for a president or someone to represent us at the Olympics? 

    ALSO READ: Ranked: Top 15 Burna Boy Songs of All Time, According to Album Release

  • Lessons We Learnt from PDP’s National Convention

    If history has taught us only one thing about Nigerian politics, it’s that we can always expect to be entertained. Even when the public officials are robbing the country blind or banning things for no sensible reason, there’s always something entertaining we can use as a coping mechanism.

    The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) became the first major party to elect its candidate for the 2023 presidential election. It’s a pivotal event that many Nigerians have been looking forward to for weeks because of its significance to next year’s contest. The PDP national convention has come and gone, and we learnt a few lessons. 

    Atiku won’t rest

    Atiku won big at PDP's national convention

    Let’s start with the biggest winner. Former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar, won the PDP’s ticket at the national convention that took place between May 28th and May 29th 2022. His win makes him a motivational speaker’s wet dream because he still won’t stop aspiring for Nigeria’s highest office 30 years after his first try.

    He’s been a presidential aspirant/candidate or vice-presidential candidate in elections in 1993, 1999, 2003, 2007, 2011, 2015, and 2019. We bet he mumbles, “Desire, aspire, perspire, inspire but don’t expire,” before he sleeps and when he wakes.

    Breakfast goes around

    Nyesom Wike lost at the PDP national convention

    Atiku defeated a dozen other aspirants, but the biggest loser is Rivers State governor, Nyesom Wike, the man who finished second behind him. The governor had by far been the loudest of the party’s aspirants and taken potshots at everyone else. He built his campaign solely on the claim that he’s the only one capable of winning the presidency back for the party. 

    Lessons We Learnt from PDP's National Convention

    Hard to argue against a guy who does this

    When aspirants battled for the PDP’s ticket for the 2019 presidential election, Wike heavily backed Tambuwal against Atiku who eventually won the ticket. Fast-forward to 2022 when Wike could have done with some reciprocal support, Tambuwal dropped out of the race and announced his support for Atiku instead. It was a turning point of the contest, and it’s not a secret that Wike is salty about how it all went down.

    Fayose is obsessed with Buhari

    Ayo Fayose lost woefully at the PDP National Convention

    Look, we get it. Buhari doesn’t have many fans in the opposition party, but can someone please tell Mr Ayo Fayose that the president won’t be on the ballot next year? While giving his final address to delegates, the former Ekiti State governor kept praising himself as a man with a track record of defeating incumbents. He specifically asked delegates to make him the party’s candidate so he can defeat Buhari who it turns out won’t be contesting at all in 2023. No wonder he got zero votes by the time the convention was over.

    ALSO READ: Delegates: The Real Cabal That’ll Determine Nigeria’s Next President

    PDP misses the chance to make history

    Tari Diana Oliver was a highlight at the PDP National Convention

    Tari Diana Oliver was the only female aspirant in the race for the PDP ticket. And since Nigerians have never elected a female president, it was no surprise that her pitch to delegates was to make history and make her the first. 

    “I’m standing here as Esther in the hands of Mordecai. It’s in your hands to vote for me and make history,” she said in a passionate appeal to delegates before voting commenced. Her message got through to only one delegate that voted for her, but at least that’s one more than the zero votes that aspirants like Fayose and Dele Momodu got.

    Death to zoning

    Lessons We Learnt from PDP's National Convention

    Much has been made about if Nigeria’s next president should come from the north or south. The Southern Governors’ Forum (SGF) even threatened that whichever party elects a northerner will lose at the polls. It’s an issue that threatened to tear the PDP apart until the party decided to play it safe and make the contest open to whoever can spend the most money win. 

    Many Nigerians have kicked against the idea of a northerner, like Atiku, replacing another northerner (Buhari) after eight years, but that’s a real possibility now. Because it’s not a properly documented arrangement, it was only a matter of time before zoning met its end at the presidential level. The lesson here is to document everything.

    EFCC is always watching

    Lessons We Learnt from PDP's National Convention

    A lot has been made about how presidential primaries can become a money-making venture for delegates that elect the candidates. Delegates use the opportunity to cash out and take dollars from every aspirant willing to part with their money in exchange for votes. It was no surprise then that agents of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) were seen sniffing around at the PDP’s convention

    No one (that we know of) was arrested, but the message is clear that the eagle is always watching, even if only for the camera.

    APC boxed into a tight corner

    Lessons We Learnt from PDP's National Convention

    The PDP and the All Progressives Congress (APC) have been playing a game of cat and mouse trying to see the candidate that the other one elects for the 2023 presidential election. With Atiku’s victory, the APC has one week to think long and hard about who they have in their lineup of aspirants to battle against an election veteran who clocked over 12 million votes in the 2019 election. 

    Contrary to Fayose’s crank theory, Buhari won’t be on the ballot, so the APC needs someone that can battle for the huge voting figures from the north. While that may automatically mean electing a northern candidate, good luck explaining that to southerners in the party who have been expecting the ticket to be zoned to the south. We can think of one southerner in particular who wants to be rewarded with a lifetime ambition. Should be fun when the convention happens between June 6th and June 8th 2022.

    ALSO READ: Time Is Running Out for You to Register for Your PVC

  • What’s the Big Deal About National Conventions in Nigerian Political Parties?

    After many battles, the All Progressives Congress (APC) will finally hold its national convention on March 26th 2022.

    The ruling party’s road to the national convention has been paved with enough drama for a TV miniseries. There have been postponements, an attempted palace coup, a dramatic comeback and a state governor even publicly called his fellow governors Yahoo boys.

    National conventions are usually divisive

    National conventions aren’t always this eventful, but they’re big deals for political parties in Nigeria. What exactly makes them such a force?

    It’s the head of the house

    National conventions are usually divisive

    A national convention is at the top of the food chain in the internal structure of a political party. It’s the organ that formulates the policies of a party and reviews the constitution that guides its operations. 

    The national convention is the only one with the authority to come late to a meeting and say, “Let’s start again from the beginning.”  It may also delegate some of its powers to other organs of the party as it sees fit.

    It’s the party’s glucose guardian

    As the head of the house, the national convention of the party is also principally responsible for raising adequate funds for the party to survive. It’s responsible for auditing the accounts, by appointing external auditors, to ensure no one is doing any funny business with the party’s purse.

    Election of national officers and presidential candidates

    National conventions are usually divisive

    What national conventions are most popular for in Nigeria is the election of national officers of political parties. Party officers voted into the National Working Committee (NWC) of a party are responsible for its day-to-day running at the national level. Parties elect these officers and their presidential candidates at national conventions.

    ALSO READ: Why APC’s Things Are Falling Apart

    It’s the Intro-tech teacher

    National conventions are usually divisive

    The national convention of a party is also the Intro-tech teacher of the party. It ratifies disciplinary actions against officers that bring shame to the party. If you do anyhow, you see anyhow.

    It holds every four years

    It’s usually a party.

    One of the things that makes a party’s national convention special is that it rarely holds. National conventions typically take place every four years. A special national convention can be convened for the election of a party’s presidential candidate. Special conventions can also be convened by the National Executive Committee (NEC) which is the party’s second most powerful organ. 

    In the times that the national convention doesn’t convene, the NEC supervises and directs the operations of the party.

    Membership

    The membership of a party’s national convention cuts across its organs from top to bottom — it’s a very long list. It includes members of the NEC, NWC, members of the party that are currently president, vice president, governors, deputy governors, and federal and state lawmakers. Membership also includes members of the party’s Board of Trustees, Zonal Working Committee (ZWC), state party executives and elected Local Government Council chairmen.

    INEC is always watching

    A party’s national convention is a big deal, but the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) wields a bigger stick. INEC must get at least 21 days notice for any convention, else the conveners would just be wasting their time.

    ALSO READ: Why’s Everyone Fighting Over Section 84 of the Electoral Act?

  • Can a Court Sack a Nigerian Governor for Being a Traitor?

    The feeling of being betrayed is not the best. It can be as basic as finding egusi inside an ice-cream bowl, or, if you’re a political party, getting served breakfast by an ungrateful politician that you helped to win public office.

    Can you sack a Nigerian governor for jumping around parties while in office?

    “Defecting” and “cross-carpeting” are terms that have become mainstays in Nigerian politics because politicians love to backstab their lovers parties. And as we all know, betrayal leaves the betrayed shocked, bitter and cold.

    This feeling of betrayal is one that the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) knows all too well. The party lost three state governors to the All Progressives Congress (APC) between November 2020 and June 2021. Dave Umahi of Ebonyi, Ben Ayade of Cross River and Bello Matawalle of Zamfara all jumped in bed with the APC.

    Can serving governors just do that?

    The short answer is yes.

    Can you sack a Nigerian governor for jumping around parties while in office?

    Section 68(1)(g) of the 1999 Constitution is very clear that a federal lawmaker shall lose their seat if they move to a new party before the end of their tenure. That lawmaker can only keep their seat if the party they left was experiencing internal division or merged with another party. This constitutional instruction is usually ignored when lawmakers defect in Nigeria, but at least it’s there.

    However, the clear constitutional provision against betrayal does not affect governors. That’s why Umahi, Matawalle and Ayade can serve PDP breakfast with their full chests. 

    Who will stop them?

    When Umahi defected to the APC, we imagine PDP felt like this: 

    And on March 8th, 2022, Justice Inyang Ekwo of the Federal High Court, Abuja, ordered Umahi to vacate his office. The PDP had argued before the court that votes that helped the governor win the office were cast for the party, not the candidate. This position is backed by many past court judgements.

    Justice Ekwo agreed and ruled that Umahi cannot carry PDP’s mandate over to the APC that lost the governorship election. Umahi refused the legal justification for his dismissal and appealed against the judgement.

    ALSO READ: Why APC’s Things Are Falling Apart

    Will he succeed?

    Can you sack a Nigerian governor for jumping around parties while in office?

    Umahi has based his defence on the fact that the case filed by the PDP is not a pre-election matter. A pre-election matter is one filed in court about how a candidate was elected as their party’s flagbearer. A governor can be removed by a court if it’s determined there was something illegal about how they were elected.

    However, the PDP’s betrayal case was filed after Umahi was already governor. He believes he should be protected by Section 308 of the constitution that grants him immunity from prosecution.

    With that established, the constitution outlines only three ways in which a governor can be removed from office — death, resignation or impeachment.

    Where will this end?

    Even Justice Ekwo admitted in his ruling that the constitution is not clear on what to do with a traitorous governor, but he applied the provision of Section 68 that only deals with lawmakers anyway. Many legal experts expect that his ruling on Umahi will not hold up at the Court of Appeal and/or Supreme Court because there’s no clear constitutional backing. For now, the Ebonyi governor remains in office.

    When a constitutional amendment bill was proposed on March 1st, 2022 for political office holders to lose their seats upon defection, National Assembly members rejected it. Until that part of the constitution is fixed, it appears governors will continue to serve their parties breakfast.

    ALSO READ: What National Assembly Got Wrong About Amending Constitution

  • Why APC’s Things Are Falling Apart

    The All Progressives Congress (APC) is currently the living proof of “uneasy lies the head that wears the crown”. Before we begin, it’s useful to remember that the party was created in 2013 when some existing parties merged to become one. Something like this:

    The APC was scrapped together like a knock-off Avengers with the simple goal of snatching power from the People’s Democratic Party (PDP). Skip to 2022 and the APC has been in power for years, but its bid to remain in power first needs to survive a civil war that’s ripping it apart. 

    POV: You’re watching APC’s internal politics

    Civil war ke?

    When Adams Oshiomhole was removed as APC chairman in June 2020 after months of internal crisis that stressed President Buhari enough to step in, the party created a caretaker committee to manage its national affairs until a national working committee (NWC) can be elected.

    That committee can only be elected at a national convention which the caretaker committee was also charged with organising. The caretaker committee was led by Mai Mala Buni who is also the serving governor of Yobe State. The committee was supposed to conduct the national convention before December 2020. That was two years ago, and the party is yet to have a national convention or new leadership.

    What’s causing the delay?

    The short version of why the APC has not conducted a national convention looks like this:

    Imagine a very noisy room.

    The delegates that vote for new leaders at the national convention are mostly officials elected at congresses of state chapters. But many of APC’s state chapters have their own mini civil wars going on. More than a dozen of them have two different sets of elected executives claiming to be in charge of the party’s structure. 

    ALSO READ: Why Is Buhari Using Nigerias $1 million to Do Giveaway for Afghanistan?

    Buni’s slice of heaven

    The APC was really close to conducting the national convention on February 26th, 2020 but it was postponed to March 26th. Many people were not happy with the postponement.

    Buni is considered the biggest factor for why a national convention has not happened. The popular theory is that he enjoys the warmth of the seat too much and wants to stay in it for longer. Many people within the party have raised dust about his continued stay in office and tried to uproot him. Even the PDP has tried. But Buni has enjoyed Buhari’s support so he’s stayed on. Until now.

    A palace coup

    The governor of Niger State, Abubakar Sani Bello, suddenly announced himself as the acting chairman of the caretaker committee after a meeting with other members on March 7th, 2022. He made the announcement while Buni was out of the country on medical leave. 

    And this is where the story gets confusing. Strap in.

    Kaduna State governor, Nasir El-Rufai, announced in a televised interview that Buni will not be returning as chairman. He accused his colleague of scheming to keep postponing the convention. The message was clear — Buni out, Bello in. But when Governor Bello invited the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) to the emergency meeting of the APC’s National Executive Committee (NEC), the commission said:

    INEC recognises only Buni as the party’s chairman and has refused to accept Bello’s invitation. This wrinkle means APC may need Buni to quickly recover from whatever he’s treating abroad and return to steer the party to the convention.

    Where does this end?

    Things have moved fast in the APC since Governor Bello took over. Ondo State governor, Rotimi Akeredolu, sparked some anger when he said “Yahoo Yahoo” governors in the party helped Buni overstay his welcome. The situation has been so chaotic that Buhari, all the way from London, has had to tell everyone to chill out. He also rebuked the Nigerian media for focusing too much on the crisis, in which case we imagine he’s not too happy with this extra article talking about it.

    The APC is in a delicate position. There are over 200 active cases against the party, including at least nine that are trying to block the convention. If the APC messes up the crisis, the party could be ineligible to present any candidates for the 2023 general elections.

    ALSO READ: Will Nigerian Prisoners Be Able to Vote in 2023?

  • Nigerian politicians are corrupt. This statement isn’t news to any Nigerian. But yesterday two video of the governor of Kano, Abdullahi Ganduje surfaced. In the videos, he’s seen collecting bundles of money one at a time from someone we can’t see. Even with the levels of corruption we experience, the videos still managed to surprise us and we have so many questions.

    What was the money for?

    Was Ganduje helping them change it to naira? Was he collecting it for safe keeping?

    Why hasn’t anyone in leadership said anything about it?

    It’s not as if we expect them to say anything sensible, but why the silence?

    Why was he collecting the bundles one by one? Is that how it’s done now? What happened to ghana bag?

    Was he counting the money to see if it’s complete?

    Why did he put some bundles in his agabada and put some on the floor? Is that why so many of our politicians like to wear agabada?

    Is agabda banking the new one? What happened to cap banking?

    According to Daily Nigeria, these two videos are the first of 15 which show the governor collecting a bribe. So what’s in the remaining 13?

    Watch out for all new episodes of ‘How to get away with dollars’.

    For the people saying the video is fake, is it not Governor Ganduje who’s in the video?

    Abi it’s someone else we are seeing?

    According to his Special Adviser for media, the governor was framed but the video is fake. Which one is it? Is the video fake? Or was he framed?

    #FakeNews: Some key facts to look into critically and objectively on the alleged video of Governor Ganduje receiving kickbacks. pic.twitter.com/L2XE1u2ze9

    — Salihu Tanko Yakasai (@dawisu) October 15, 2018

    The special adviser also goes on about how the people trying to set his poor governor up couldn’t fake his voice. But isn’t this his voice we hear in the second video?

    But the most important question of all, is why is he still in office?

    This won’t be the first time we’ll see politicians get away with such blatant acts of corruption.  But we are still hoping something is done about this.
  • Yesterday Aunty Oby declared her bid to run for presidency. Now, this might be the best news we’ve gotten since Burna Boy dropped Ye (our new national anthem).

    As expected what is likely to follow after this announcement is a slew of interviews and press runs.

    So here’s a public service announcement for all the members of the Nigerian Press. There are a thousand and one questions we should be asking Oby Ezekwesili right now, but they shouldn’t include any of these.

    May we meet you?

    So what we will call your husband if you win? Is it first husband?

    If you become president where will you find the time to be cooking for your husband/will you still be cooking for your husband?

    What does your husband think of you running for presidency?

    Do you think Nigeria is ready for a female president? Don’t you think you should wait a few years for your turn?

    Don’t you think you’d stand a better chance running alongside a man as Vice President?

    You can never win, so why are you running?

    So if you win how are you going to balance being president with your family life?

    If you become president, how do you think it’ll affect your home?

    Do you think as a woman you are up to the task of being president?

    Did you ask for your husband’s permission before you declared?

    What of your pastor? Did you ask for his permission?

    As a woman do you think you have what it takes to become the president of Nigeria?

    You know you should be asking? About her plans to fix the country’s debt situation, or how she’s going to provide more jobs, or improve national security. Thanks and God bless.

  • We were doing some research and to our surprise, APC and PDP are not the only registered political parties in Nigeria. According to INEC, there are actually 68 registered political parties! We are pretty sure you’ve never heard of these ones.

    All Blending Party (ABP)

    From the name, you’ll already know these ones came to play. What does All Blending Party mean?

    Abundant Nigeria Renewal Party (ANRP)

    Is this a political party logo or the logo for a Yahoo boy’s side hustle?

    All Democratic Peoples Movement (ADPM)

    I like how they’ve already packed themselves inside bus. They better keep driving until they reach Cotonou, because we don’t want them here.

    Citizens Popular Party (CPP)

    These ones had the liver to put ‘popular’ in their party’s name. Why tell such lies?

    Freedom and Justice Party (FJP)

    ‘Freedom and Justice’, as if any Nigerian politician knows the meaning of those words.

    Green Party of Nigeria (GPN)

    I like how there’s a hand telling us ‘your father’ in their logo. At least they are straightforward.

    Independent Democrats (ID)

    If we put all Nigerian politicians together in a room we are pretty sure none of them can spell ‘Independents’ or ‘Democrats’ but there is a political party called Independent Democrats?

    Justice Must Prevail Party (JMPP)

    Is there anywhere in this country that justice prevails?

    Masses Movement of Nigeria (MMN)

    These ones what to use ‘we the people, for the people’ to deceive us. Stay woke, they are all the same.

    National Conscience Party (NCP)

    I’m pretty sure we all know that if there’s one thing all Nigerian politicians lack, it’s conscience.

    New Generation Party of Nigeria (NGP)

    Just look at these wicked people that don’t want us to progress as a country. How can they use hand fan as their logo? So they are praying for us to never have light?

    National Rescue Movement (NRM)

    It took a bit to convince me this is a political party. What’s the bee doing there, please?

    Re-build Nigeria Party (RBNP)

    Please, there is nothing to rebuild we need to start from scratch. We have to lay foundation again.

    Socialist Party of Nigeria (SPN)

    So there are people who are socialists in this country?

    Young Progressive Party (YPP)

    So there is a Young Progressive Party in this country and Buhari is still president. Wawu.
  • To say that we are tired of Nigerian politicians, might be the understatement of the year. But our biggest problem with Nigerian politicians might be the fact that they don’t seem to know what their jobs entail. Here’s every time we’ve caught them doing everything but their jobs.

    Rauf Aregbesola playing dress up in school uniform

    We asked around and nobody could figure out why this picture came to be. Was he trying to show the primary school students that he was one of them? Or helping them model their school uniform?

    And here’s Rochas Okorocha roasting corn because what else is left to govern in Imo state.

    You know all the roads are fixed, there are enough schools and hospitals the next thing the governor needs to be doing with his time is roasting corn.

    Here’s Okorocha again in a school uniform supposedly teaching children.

    What’s the need to employ qualified teachers to teach the children of Imo when he can do it himself.

    Iyiola Omisore taking a joy ride on an okada

    How else can Iyiola Omisore show that he’s truly a man of the people other than riding around on an okada?

    When Rotimi Amaechi decided that being a governor wasn’t challenging enough for him, he decided to add hairdressing to his C.V.

    Then there’s the time Dino Melaye decided that being a video vixen was his true calling.

    You people are the ones forcing him to continue being a senator.

    When Buhari decided that being president is merely a side gig and being a travel blogger is what he really wants to be in life.

    Lagos today, London tomorrow. Baby boy goals.

    When Fayose decided to become a tailor.

    What a humble and hardworking politician, sewing his own clothes.

    Here’s Fayose again selling ewa-agayin

    At this point, we need to recognize that Fayose’s antics are a cry for help. Someone is clearly forcing him to continue being a politician.

    When they decided to turn the senate building into a wrestling ground.

    Can you see that their role models are Mohammed Ali and Bash Ali.

    We know you as tired as we are of all theses Nigerian politicians as we are.

    So if you still haven’t collected your PVC you had better go now, the deadline is August 17, 2018, so you know you don’t have a lot of time left.
  • We were going about our business this beautiful morning, wondering why $1 is still over 360 naira and why a bag of rice is 20k when our Senators decided to come and disturb us with their drama.

    As is with all things Nigerian we honestly don’t know exactly what is going on. But here’s the gist of what we at least know.

    The DSS barricaded the entrance to the NASS complex and prevented staff and legislators from entering. 

    The State Security Services in #Nigeria (DSS) have blocked the entrance to @nassnigeria, this morning, and are turning away staff and legislators.

    A complete assault on Nigeria’s democracy. pic.twitter.com/TWmY7PQLfZ — Chxta (@Chxta) August 7, 2018

    No one knows who the order came from, it apparently came from ‘above’.

    Did Baba Bubu send a text from London? We’re still trying to figure out who this Oga at the top is.

    In fact, a Legislator stood up to the DSS, daring them.

    This is quite fascinating, that the Legislators have this kind of energy, but they couldn’t use this energy to help us looking into #EndSARS.

    After hours of standing up to the DSS and fighting to uphold democracy in Nigeria, the senators were finally granted access into the complex.

    For a group of people who are supposed to be under siege, they seem pretty cheerful.

    All the APC legislators were nowhere to be found.

    What a coincidence.

    The DSS operatives were also masked.

    Muzzbe action film.

    In what might or might not be connected news, Senator Goodswil Akpabio also officially resigned as senate minority leader today.

    Another coincidence. Fascinating.

    Because this is Nigeria we won’t be surprised if the narrative changes in the next couple of hours.

    Next thing we’ll hear is that the DSS were actually there to protect the Senators.

    In a twist of events that can only happen in Nigeria, Ag. President – Yemi Osinbajo fired the DG of DSS, Lawal Daura.

    This might be the most epic way anyone has ever said ‘I am not involved’.

    All this drama, and you wonder why Nigerian politicians are not getting nominations for AMAA awards

    Look at this list. No Nigerian Politician.

    Anyway, all of them will still go to the back and be hugging each other in private.

    Because really, that’s all they care about mostly. Themselves.

    If you are as tired as we are of these people using us to play ten-ten and you still haven’t collected your PVC, you can’t be a serious person.

    Head on over to getyourpvc.com to find the answers to learn how to register to get your Permanent Voter’s Card. Don’t forget, the deadline is August 17 to register if you want to vote next year.
  • Politics in Nigeria is forever a source of humour for us. With the likes of Dino Melaye occupying seats of power, it’s a wonder this country is still running. When it comes to Nigerian politics and humour though, one of the funniest things we’ve come across in a while are these political party logos:

    Abundant Nigeria Renewal Party (ANRP)

    We tried our hardest to decipher this logo but we still have so many questions. Why is a plant growing out of the laptop? Why is the laptop in a map of Nigeria?

    Sustainable National Party (SNP)

    We thought very hard about it and we couldn’t come up with a single reason a bell will be used as a party logo. Must be closing time.

    United Democratic Party

    There’s nothing you want to tell us. Whoever came up with this logo just went home and told their child to draw anything on paper then used it as party logo.

    Peoples Democratic Movement (PDM)

    Please, what’s the torchlight for? Is it to remind us that there is no light in Nigeria? Are they trying to shine a light on Nigeria? What does it mean?

    All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA)

    We know how much Nigerians love anything that signifies enjoyment but we don’t understand what a chicken is looking for on a political party’s logo.

    All Progressives Congress (APC)

    We’ve always wondered what APC’s broom signified. Over the last three years, we’ve discovered that their plan is to sweep all Nigerians out of the country. How else will you explain the rate at which Nigerians are leaving the country under this government?

    National Conscience Party

    We don’t know which is funnier, the name of this political party or the logo. As if any Nigerian politician has a conscience. If you don’t close your eyes there.

    Socialist Party of Nigeria (SPN)

    No political party logo vexed us as much as this one. Where is the light to put on the light bulb? They should have just put a generator next to it so we know they are serious.

    Re-build Nigeria Party (RBNP)

    We are willing to bet this month’s salary that this logo was picked out of one of those old Macmillan textbooks.

    Fresh Democratic Party (FDP)

    What does the clock signify? Why is the time at 8 o’clock? Was that the exact time Okotie had his vision of becoming the president of Nigeria?

    New Generation Party of Nigeria (NGP)

    This is how you know the people who don’t want us to progress. 2018 but you don’t want us to be using AC to cool ourselves. We should still be using hand fan? In the end —all these parties, relevant or not, ugly logos or not, the one thing that gets to decide whether or not we keep them or kick them, is getting your PVC.  If you still haven’t gotten yours, do you really want Nigeria to be better? If you are confused as to how to go about it then check out our handy guide to getting your PVC here.
  • Everything has gone from 0-100 since Vice President Osinbajo stepped in as Acting President once again. The promises have begun, again, my friend…

    giphy.gif

    After delivering that Democracy Day speech from yesterday (where is President Buhari though?), news is agog today with this interesting video from Osinbajo:

    The TL;DR version is this: “The World Bank and the AFDB have raised a fund to enable Nigerians get mortgages to own homes.’

    giphy.gif

    DID YOU HEAR THAT? If you can pay N30,000 every month, you too can own a home in Nigerian home!

    giphy.gif “YASSS we all need our own homes!” – 2019 campaign slogan loading.

    This is all so exciting, atink, but Nigerians are like ‘er, hang on a minute.’

    37211670.jpg

    The emojis reflect disbelief

    Then there’s this brief comment

    This…interesting…economic viewpoint

    Whoa whoa whoaaa there

    Heh. It almost sounds like Nigerians have been victims of unfulfilled promises in the past. Hm.

    giphy.gif

    Well. Here’s to hoping this is one promise that actually gets fulfilled!

    giphy.gif

    More on the Osinbajo adventures:

    https://zikoko.com/list/10-top-quotes-from-osinbajos-democracyday-speech/
  • Nigerian Politicians And Foreign Politicians Have A Lot More In Common Than We Thought And Here’s Why

    Let’s go a little back in time to the elections period in Nigeria.

    To when realistic and unrealistic promises were made, and “generous”politicians suddenly remembered the hungry, starving, Nigerian masses.

    And since honesty isn’t necessarily a Nigerian trait..

    Many politicians shared branded food items (and other gifts) which were eagerly received by some greedy voters.

    Packaged rice.

    For those that place Jollof above necessary infrastructure that should be provided by Nigerian leaders.

    Odourless Fufu

    In case the smell of mainstream Fufu gets in the way.

    And recharge card to call the love of your life.

    Aren’t our politicians just thoughtful?

    Let’s flip the script and go to Europe where this politician is going to spend two years in prison.

    Florin Popescu, a Romanian politician is being jailed for a crime he committed in 2012 while he was lobbying for votes for his re-election into office as a  council leader.

    He used his political position to secure an order of 60 tonnes of fried chicken worth $85,000 and shared it to voters in a bid to make them vote for him.

    He loaded the chicken packages into trailers and distributed them at several locations. Although he resigned earlier in February 2016 and claimed it was for the “good of the country”, Florin currently nicknamed the Chicken Baron will be cooling off in prison for two years as part of Romania’s crackdown on Kwaraption!

    Will this kind of crackdown ever happen in Nigeria?

    We wait. [zkk_poll post=24520 poll=content_block_standard_format_8]