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angry Nigerians | Zikoko!
  • Fuel Scarcity + National Grid Collapses — How are Nigerians Coping?

    Guys and girls, I’m writing this with 10% left on my laptop battery. 

    We’re in the part of a horror movie where someone says, “It can’t get any worse,” and then it does. It started with contaminated fuel, then unending fuel scarcity, a surge in fuel price, transportation, food and now… Nigeria’s national grid keeps collapsing. 

    The only people enjoying this are the people that like semo. They’re used to suffering. Throw the rest of us into a group chat to rant, and this is how it’ll unfold.

    Zikoko: Hey Nigerians. How far?

    Fred: Is it Friday yet? Can I drink? I feel like I’ve aged 30 years.

    David: If I start talking, I can cry. First of all, I left Lagos for Abuja, thinking electricity would be better there. But I should have known from the ridiculous flight fare that nowhere is safe. I had to enter a cramped bus all the way from Lagos. The consolation was the thought of escaping the Lagos madness. Well, I’ll tell you for free: Abuja is much worse. There’s no light. And the sun? Just cook me.

    RELATED: Airlines Are Sending Ticket Prices to the Moon. Can They Do That?

    Nkechi: Let’s not even get started with that sun. A few days ago, my generator was stolen. I’m practically losing my mind in this heat.

    David: Ehyaaa, sorry. What d’you mean your generator was stolen?

    Sarah:  I just want my mummy. I’m the real mumu for trusting that things would get better in this country. Now, look at me. First, I’ll struggle to buy fuel, then I’ll now struggle to hide it from my neighbours again.

    Tommy: I feel you. “Stay on the island,” they said. “A serviced estate is the soft life,” they said. Now, look at me. I’m in Ikoyi, and estate generator fuel price don pass rent money. 

    David: What do you mean stolen generator?

    Fav: Hug anybody you know living in a serviced apartment.

    Pam: Forget the heat. My landlady just turned off the water for the entire building because there’s no light to pump more. Not that there’s no water at all o. She’s just saving our water for her family and church members — she’s also a pastor.

    David: What—

    Uche: Family and church ke?

    Pam: I’m trying not to break down. I need to focus on work.

    Uche: With everything, deadlines at work are still choking me. There’s no motivation for me to even think.

    Fred: Pele bro. I haven’t been to the office as much as I’ve been there in the last week. Today is my third day in a row. God abeg.

    Sarah: You people have money o. Getting to work is another stress. The transport prices go up every day. I’m paying almost triple the amount we started the year with.

    Uche: Remote workers are the ones enjoying.

    Fav: You want to roll with the big boys? Uche, e touch remote workers too. What happens when my laptop dies? How many hours do I have in a day to be spending hours in a fuel queue? On Monday, I had to take all my meetings in the car for four hours to get fuel.

    Dami: Babe, imagine doing that and finally getting to the pump and the POS rejects your card?

    Fav: Omo.

    Dami: I had to go to another filling station to queue up. Again! 

    Ama: In Ibadan, fuelling stations aren’t even selling to people with jerry cans again. My only alternative is the black market. I’ve been buying 25 litres for ₦10k. I can’t take this for another month.

    Fav: Do we have a choice? The other day, I had to buy from the black market and it knocked my car and generator engine. Look, I can’t even cry. My freezer is packed with food, and I need to keep my gen running. The generator noise is also killing me. God abeg!

    Richard: Add Ogun state to the list. My only saving grace today was my neighbour’s house. I’ve never been this tired and stressed out.

    Fred: Broooooo. The power grid has collapsed more than Jean Grey whenever she tries to use her powers. It feels like we’re being punished. Every bad thing seems to be happening to us at the same time. 

    RELATED: What Happens When the National Grid Collapses?

    Nkechi: Coping isn’t even a thing. No one is coping. We’re just existing.

    Aisha: If I talk, I’ll break down.

    David: If your partner is in uni, you can’t even vent. ASUU is also choking them. It’s been three months since my babe has been stuck at home. We’re both tensed up. 

    Fav: Everybody get as e dey pinch dem for this country. 

    David: Nkechi, can we talk about your stolen generator now?

    ALSO READ: Will Nigeria’s Fuel Scarcity Be Over Soon? We Have Updates

  • Fuel Scarcity Again? Here’s the Full NNPC Gist

    Nigeria is one of the leading oil producers in Africa, but you’re probably reading this on a fuel station queue that leads to Jericho. 

    Pele dear. While we can’t help you hold the fuel attendant’s shirt when they tell you there’s no more fuel, we can tell you how this fuel scarcity mess started again. Here’s the gist, but first, a little backstory.

    Who runs things and why does the price of fuel change?

    As regulator, and resident big boys of Nigeria’s petroleum sector, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) manages the country’s refineries and is the only importer of petrol in Nigeria. 

    Before becoming the sole importers of petrol, there were other marketers importing the product. Nigeria used to run on a subsidy scheme that allowed other marketers in the country to buy fuel directly from the international oil market at the landing price (initial cost) and resell at a cheaper price to you. The NNPC made this possible by covering the cost. 

    Let me explain

    If the international market was selling petrol at ₦174 per litre and Nigerians bought at ₦142 per litre, the difference is paid off by NNPC. That’s what oil people call fuel subsidy. There are claims that this wasn’t a real thing, but it was always a part of the national budget.

    After a few years, the government had to shake things up because people were hiding subsidy money inside their agbadas. Marketers also struggled to maintain access to the international oil market as the dollar went up. These issues influenced the periodic cycles of fuel scarcity we’ve experienced over the years. So in 2017, the government made the NNPC Nigeria’s only importer.

    When the NNPC took over, Direct Sale and Direct Purchase (DSDP) was initiated. It’s like trade and barter: NNPC gives refiners an amount of crude oil and they return petrol of the same value to NNPC and selected distributors to sell at subsidised prices.

    Do you feel like an oil guru yet? 

    Now to the juicy part.

    On Monday, Nigerians woke up to knocked engines and soon the internet was host to a number of videos of angry Nigerians demanding an explanation for these issues that followed buying fuel in their cars. As tension continued to rise, the Nigerian Midstream and Downstream Petroleum Regulatory Authority (NMDPRA) confirmed  suspicions. 

    The fuel in circulation had been contaminated with an alarming percentage of methanol, above Nigeria’s approved specification. With this announcement, filling stations who believed they had received thos contaminated fuel started to sell less or not at all while the issue is resolved.  

    So, who’s taking the fall for this oversight?

    After being tagged in multiple videos online, MRS made the first move on Monday, to let us know that this saga had absolutely nothing to do with them.

    MRS put out a statement that basically said, “The NNPC is the sole importer of fuel so please don’t drag us for rubbish.” They claimed that they were not aware of the contamination when they received the petrol supply shipped from Belgium by the NNPC’s trading arm, Duke Oil. 

    Next on the podium of accusers was the Managing Director of NNPC, Mele Kyari. In his statement, Kyari claimed that MRS are dirty liars and are the ones to blame. He also threw in Oando, Duke Oil and a consortium consisting of Emadeb/Hyde/AY Maikifi/Brittania-U into the mix of people to hold accountable. 

    Who’s to blame now?

    We thought the mind games were over until a journalist, David Hundeyin, came out with incriminating details that questioned the credibility of NNPC in a tweet.

    The tweet mentioned Duke Oil again, but this time, in association with a shady law firm called Alemán, Cordero, Galindo & Lee, in Panama. From Belgium to Panama. 

    While we know nothing significant about this entity that has worked with NNPC since 2015, David Hundeyin drops the main bombshell that leaves me questioning why I’m still here typing. Apparently, the law firm is associated with crimes in Panama.

     .

    From what we’ve gathered, they have been implicated in criminal acts associated with money laundering. Allegedly, they have helped at least 160 politicians and public figures with the creation of offshore shell companies meant to hide money in a tax haven. According to the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists (ICIJ), their clients have included world leaders like Czech Prime Minister Andrej Babis, Montenegro President Milo Djukanovic and Jordanian Kind Abdulla II. Sadly, this is just the tip of the iceberg. 

    The end

    So why is Nigeria’s regulatory body for our most lucrative resource associated with a company linked to this firm? 

    There are no answers from NNPC yet.

    What do we know for certain? Crazy things are happening and you need to know them too.

  • 7 Things You Need To Know About Nigeria’s Meningitis Outbreak
    In November 2016, a Cerebro Spinal Meningitis (CSM) disease outbreak started in Zamfara State.  Almost 5 months later, the disease has killed hundreds and has now spread to other states. These are all the facts we know about the outbreak.

    1. About 328 people have been killed by meningitis in Nigeria

    CMS occurs when the thin tissue covering the brain -meninges- is inflamed.

    2. More than 5 states are currently affected including Lagos and Abuja

    According to Premium Times it spilled over from Sokoto( in map) to Zamfara, Kano, Katsina, Kebbi, Niger, Nasarawa, Jigawa, FCT, Gombe, Taraba, Yobe, Osun, Cross Rivers, Lagos and Plateau states.

    3. 4 West African countries are currently affected, but Nigeria suffers the most cases

    African Meningitis Belt includes the countries usually affected by an outbreak. Currently, Mali, Niger and Burkina Faso are also reportedly affected by the disease.

    4. CMS is caused by the Neisseria meningitides bacteria

    Symptoms include a stiff neck, high fever, rash, headache, vomiting, and confusion.

    5. It’s a COMMUNICABLE disease

    Respiratory secretions transfer the disease through kissing, sneezing, coughing, and sharing of eating or drinking utensils.

    6. CMS is curable

    The disease is treatable with antibiotics, although 5-10% of affected persons die within 24 hours. Once you notice the symptoms, present yourself at a medical centre immediately.

    7. How can you prevent yourself?

    The most effective way is vaccination. Staying away from infected people, avoiding other people’s utensils or any item that may transfer saliva or respiratory secretions, washing your hands regularly as well as eating healthy to boost your immune system are ways to prevent CMS.
  • After a long bout of silence following her accusations against her husband for giving her STDs, Tonto is telling us the full story in this heartbreaking video

    The full video shows Tonto talking about the domestic and emotional abuse she suffered from her ex-husband, Churchhill, and how she’s had to make numerous sacrifices for her son.

    1. We’ve learned a few things: Men are scum

    But then, we already knew that one before.

    2. Do not stay in an abusive relationship

    This applies to both genders. Know the signs of an abusive person(emotional and physical) and EXIT the relationship for your own peace of mind.

    3. If someone loves you, they most likely won’t hit you

    This one is self-explanatory. Shine your eyes.

    4. Don’t stay in a bad marriage because ‘I’m thinking about my children’

    Trust me, I know the troubles of a woman who’s not ‘in her husband’s house’. But it’s BS, and your children will blame you for not being strong enough to leave.

    5. Understand that giving up on your marriage is much better than getting killed in your marriage

    The slap that turned to blow will soon develop into cutlass -Pete Edochie. (Just kidding, but you get the drift).

    6. Try counselling with your spouse

    But if you don’t notice a change, forget it!

    7. We’ve realized the worst thing about assholes is they are unaware of their assholish behaviour

    Hence their continued assholery. There’s no reasoning with them!

    8. Seek help!

    Don’t suffer silently. Reach out to people who can help you.
  • We were busy celebrating TGIF and rejoicing for the weekend when we saw Oge Okoye stealing people’s pictures up and down.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRKyjl4FL1T/?taken-by=kenyamooredaily

    Apparently, the Nigerian actress stole Real Wives of Atlanta star, Kenya Moore’s dog pictures and renamed them Rob and Rosemary

    Nigerians are not here for this disgrace

    They’re calling her out for her fakeness

    They don’t even want her apology

    ‘Oge Okoye’ is officially a verb and a synonym for ‘steal’

    https://twitter.com/its_kingsauce/status/837912091080130560

    I mean, look at this

    People are wondering why she went international with her stealing

    Everyone needs to be on the lookout for the Oge Okoyes of this world

    Someone instantly updated her Wikipedia page (It has been reverted now)

    These streets ain’t safe for Oge

    Celebs are slightly shading her by posting REAL dog pictures

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRN2V9ZAWgz/?taken-by=peterpsquare

    Oge has deleted the Instagram post and we all know why

  • 1. At this point, only rich people can buy pizza.

    https://twitter.com/ItsBollyLomo/status/765574554978775040

    2. When someone is talking about one nonsense independence.

    3. When your account balance is the stuff nightmares are made of.

    4. Children are God’s gifts, but this economy is saying something else sha.

    5. It’s time to put that stubborn onigbese on speed-dial.

    https://twitter.com/Extratainment/status/735815654905806852

    6. When someone asks you to buy iPhone 7 for them.

    https://twitter.com/TheOfficialOre/status/773634007762362368

    7. Who has time for marriage abeg?

    8. The worst thing that can happen to anybody:

    9. Don’t let any 419 carry your money o!

    https://twitter.com/CheRox/status/775087227755958273

    10. No time to waste energy on yama yama relationships.

    economy_vufwau.png

    11. This one about asoebi and rice.