Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121
Alcoholic drinks | Zikoko!

Quizzes

Stacks

Shows

Podcasts

Newsletters

Naira Life

Love Life

Hustleprint

Love Currency

Sunken Ships

What She Said

My Bro

So You Don’t Have To

Interview With…

Zikoko Memes

Jollof Road

Cholera Outbreak Update

Follow our socials

  • Interview With Tequila: “I am a Legend”

    Zikoko stares at their phone as they walk into a bar.

    Tequila: Zikoko?

    Zikoko: Hmm? 

    Tequila: Zikoko!

    Zikoko: 

    Tequila: Join me

    Zikoko: No, thank you.

    Tequila: Ahan, are we not friends again?

    Zikoko: When did we become friends?

    Tequila: Zikoko!! Feel free, relax.

    Zikoko looks around the full bar.

    Tequila: It’s for me. They’re here for me.

    Zikoko: Is it your birthday?

    Tequila:

    Zikoko: 

    Tequila: You’re joking, right? Obviously, you know why they gathered for me.

    Zikoko: 

    Tequila: Ahan. My album just dropped na. Hot stuff, fire music.

    Are you hearing that song right now? That’s me.

    Zikoko: Actually, that’s AG baby.

    Tequila: What’s the name of the album?

    Zikoko: That doesn’t matter. 

    Tequila: Just say it.

    Zikoko: Tequila Ever After.

    Tequila: Gbam. That’s it. The album and I are namesakes, which means the album is mine.

    Zikoko: That’s not how it goes.

    Tequila: Tequila Ever After. I’ve become a legend.

    Zikoko: Because Adekunle Gold put “Ever After” beside your name?

    Tequila: I’ve been a legend before then. Don’t look at me with small eyes, I’m big. Big buzz, if you try me, you go loss.

    Zikoko: Who dashed you?

    Tequila: 

    What’s your favourite liquor?

    Zikoko: Wine

    Tequila:

    Tequila pours a clear liquid into a shot glass.

    Tequila: Drink.

    Zikoko sighs and takes the shot.

    Tequila: How was it? Shebi it was smooth?

    Zikoko: That doesn’t prove anything

    Tequila: It does. I do my work, and I do my work well. No complaints.

    Zikoko: (under breath) Gin does her work well too.

    The music in the bar stops and everyone turns to Zikoko.

    Zikoko: 

    Chioma Munachi

    ,
    , ,
  • Try These 8 Hacks to Make Your Alcohol More Interesting

    The weekend is here, and if there’s one thing I’ll do, it’s recommend different ways people can drink alcohol. Today you’ll be discovering ways to make your alcohol more interesting. 

    Vodka gummy bears 

    I like to call this the lazy and fast way of making a cocktail because you don’t have to do a lot of mixing, and you still get some colour and flavour in your drink. All you need is a bottle of vodka, a bag of gummy bears and a medium-sized bowl. 

    You can try this with one or multiple-flavoured gummies. Put the gummy bears in a bowl, pour in vodka, then leave for about 5 hours. For a deeper flavour, you can leave it overnight. Once it’s done, you can chew the gummy bears (which have soaked up alcohol) and drink the vodka. 

    Add Ribena to your dry red wine 

    This was something I tried yesterday. I was about to drink Ribena when I remembered that I had some leftover red wine in the fridge. My decision to combine both is one of the best decisions I’ve made this week; it’s like heaven on your tongue. Works best with dry reds such as Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon and the likes. 

     ALSO READ: Interview With Red Wine: “Why are Nigerian Women Lying Against Me” 

    Pour alcohol into your watermelon

    I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time you’ve heard about this. So why haven’t you tried it yet?  Just cut a narrow but deep hole (it has to be deep so that the drink will seep through) into your watermelon in the shape of your liquor bottle, turn over the bottle and put the mouth in the hole and let the alcohol pour into the melon. 

    Leave it until it’s empty or until you think the alcohol poured in is enough. Put the watermelon in the fridge to chill for about four hours, then cut it up when you’re ready. 

    Use alcohol to make ice cubes 

    Normally, when you want a really cold drink, you tend to add ice cubes. To do things a little differently this time, make your ice cubes out of whatever alcohol you’re drinking. If you’re having whiskey, fill your ice tray with whiskey. That way, when the ice melts, it’s not diluting your alcohol, it’s just adding to it. 

    Experiment with Skittles 

    Have you ever tried adding Skittles to, say, tequila? Here’s your cue. . Just put Skittles in a cup, fill the cup with tequila, and leave it overnight. You can do this with one or different flavours of Skittles. A fun way to have tequila shots, it won’t stop it from burning your throats though. 

     ALSO READ: What Your Favorite Alcohol Says About You

    Tequila and pasta

    A good way to eat and drink at the same time, don’t you think? This recipe doesn’t necessarily contain that much tequila, but it’s a good way to mix alcohol and pasta and end up with a delicious recipe. If you’re interested in seeing how this goes in detail, find out how to make it on All Recipes.

    Try Baileys and coffee

    Instead of adding milk or cream to your coffee, add half a glass of Baileys instead. What better way to kickstart the morning? Besides, Baileys is a lot creamier. 

    Heineken and sprite

    I genuinely think beer is bitter, and that’s why i’ve included this combination. To make things interesting, you can add whiskey. That way, the alcohol content increases and the taste also gets better. 

    Liked this, you can try out these other cocktails: These are 7 Simple Cocktails You Can Make in Your Kitchen

    Dammy Eneli

    , , ,
  • Weird Homemade Cocktails Zikoko Writers Are Making

    I like my drinks, but as a broke girl, I don’t have money to spend on cocktails at Lagos restaurants. So I like to make them myself at home. I’ve been looking for new recipes to try, but the internet is only suggesting giving me expensive stuff to try. So instead, I made the mistake of asking my colleagues. One thing I can tell you is that I definitely wasn’t expecting the answers they gave me. 

    I decided to share their answers with you, just in case you’re looking for ways to mix your alcohol this Friday.

    Kai has the potential to become a bartender

    I love Kai because he likes to try weird shit. 

    Kai recommends mixing blended watermelon, coffee rum and Smirnoff beer. I’m definitely trying this one. The blending of watermelon and sieving requires a bit of work but I’m pretty sure it’ll be worth it. 

    He also says you should try sweet red wine and Schweppes virgin mojito. 

    Ama is addicted to gin

    I worry for Ama, our dear editor. He recommends trying gin and chamomile tea. I mean, howwww? And when I asked him how to make it, he said, “Just pour gin inside.” 

    Apparently, you just infuse your chamomile tea as you normally would, then add as much gin as you want.

    He also mentions cold milk and gin. But for the sake of my lactose intolerance, I will not be trying this one. But if you do, let me know how it goes. 


    He also recommends trying rum and pepper soup, for adventurous people. If you don’t like cooking, just buy pepper soup and pour rum inside.

    Ifoghale is a big fan of beer

    Ifoghale says he doesn’t really drink, but he 100% recommends mixing Fayrouz and Heineken.

    Dwin drinks like an old man

    I expected more from Dwin to be honest. I don’t know why, I just did. But as the 40+ man that he is, the most he’s done is rum and cranberry juice.

    Itohan likes hard liquor

    Itohan likes to drink most of her alcohol straight, so she didn’t have any interesting mix. But she loves mixing gin with pineapple and coconut juice. Sounds interesting, and I should probably try this too.

    Tega is basic with her mixing

    The wildest thing Tega has ever mixed is apple juice and pineapple vodka. But she promises you’ll fall in love with the mix.

    Dammy mixes Bailey’s and hot chocolate

    I need you to please try Baileys and Hot chocolate. This is basically like adding milk to any hot chocolate beverage. If you’re a coffee drinker, you can also do this.  

    Add powdered hot chocolate to half a mug of boiled water and stir. Next, instead of adding milk, add Baileys as the other half of your beverage. Gbam! You have the perfect drink. Enjoy a glass on a rainy day and thank me later. 

    Ribena, gin and tequila

     Get concentrated Ribena — the type you have to dilute with water. But instead of water, you’re using tequila and gin to dilute it. All you have to do is mix Ribena, tequila and gin in a cup and pour it into a glass with ice. Adjust for alcohol strength. 

    Ibukun

    Ibukun told me to leave her alone, that she’s not an alcoholic like the rest of us in the office. 

    ALSO READ: These Are 7 Simple Cocktails You Can Make With Ingredients in Your Kitchen

    Dammy Eneli

    ,
  • QUIZ: Getting 20 on This Quiz Means You’re a Certified Alcoholic

    Are you an alcoholic? Well, because adulthood is the fucking ghetto, the answer is probably yes. But let’s not jump to conclusions. Take the quiz and see your report card.

    Select all the ones you’ve had:

    Don’t be shy, select everything you’ve drank from this list:

    Niola

    ,
    , , ,
  • What Your Favourite Alcohol Says About You

    This is an accurate judgement system, because nothing tells you more about a person than their favourite alcohol.

    1) Wine

    You’re a social drinker. You never really drink for the sake of being drunk, but because you want your muscles to relax and you need the confidence to send that risky text.

    May all your shots hit their target.

    2) Tequila

    You like to have fun, but you wouldn’t put your body through hell to get there. You’re a good time and everyone likes hanging out with you. You also probably have a lot of friends, and you don’t need alcohol to do silly things.

    3) Vodka

    This is the Gemini of alcohol, so anyone that likes it probably doesn’t like themself. If Vodka is your favourite type of alcohol, you need therapy and your liver needs to be checked. You’re chaotic, dangerous and will probably get arrested for public indecency once in your life.

    Vodka drinkers every time they wake up
    If you’re into memes, check out this mind-blowing Nigerian meme site we created. Click Here

    4) Beer

    If beer is your favourite alcohol, you’re probably an Igbo woman or a south-south woman. Either that or a Yoruba man named Femi. Beer drinkers don’t like stress and probably also eat fufu. They’re there for a good time.

    5) Gin

    How it feels every time you come across a gin drinker

    Going to start this by saying that if you drink gin willingly, you should talk to someone. You’re probably going through a lot physically, mentally and spiritually. Honestly, your friends should have staged an intervention for you already. Especially since you’ve probably been offering your demon juice to them too. You’re also either an NURTW member, Chelsea fan or a law student. Sometimes, you’re all three. It’s a drink for the streets.

    6) Whiskey

    Nobody likes you. You also think you’re better than everyone because you drink “rich”, expensive liquor. If your favourite alcohol is whiskey, your friends are probably gossiping about you right now. You’re also probably a forex trader.

    If you’re into memes, check out this mind-blowing Nigerian meme site we created. Click Here

    7) Rum

    You’re the kind of person that’s easily forgotten, but once you’re remembered, you’re a wild ride. You know your worth, so you don’t chase, you attract.

    8) Brandy

    You’re what whiskey drinkers think they are. Sophisticated, rich and intellectual. If your favourite alcohol is Brandy, then you’re doing a lot of things about life right.

    For more on what’s inside this life, please click here

    [donation]

    Itohan Esekheigbe

    ,
  • 5 Alcoholic Drinks Guaranteed To Make You Say Nonsense

    Shayo na bastard – believe me that’s a timeless quote. Because if you’re not careful, some alcoholic drinks will really make you look up to the sky and tell God to come downstairs.

    If you don’t want to misyarn, please and please, avoid from these drinks. Don’t say we didn’t warn you – before you look your boss in the eye and complain about his tie.

    1. American Honey

    Contains 71 proof (35.5%) alcohol. Will make you speak in tongues even if you have never stepped into a church. Only for strong people.

    My advice? Caveat emptor, that meins, “let the buyer beware”.

    2. Bourbon Whiskey

    The Bourbon Whiskey is a type of American Whiskey or distilled spirit made from corn, going as far back as the 1850s.

    A lot of whiskey brands are classified as Bourbon Whiskeys, and the average alcohol content is 62.5%. If you near it and end up calling your gateman “Zaddy”, that’s on you.

    3. Gordon’s London Dry Gin

    People are currently dragging someone on the bird app because of what Gordon’s Dry Gin did to her:

    Gordon’s is a type of London’s dry gin that has been produced since 1769. Contains 37-43% alcohol, depending on location. If you have anger issues, DO NOT TASTE.

    4. Captain Jack Cafe Rum

    Ah, Captain Jack. Agba. The cause of many a needless vituperation. Manufactured in Lagos, Nigeria, and contains 40% alcohol, including caffeine.

    My advice? Pour to the ground and appease the gods before drinking. Or else…

    5. Wasalaye Comprehensive Bitters

    No, this is not the name of a high school. This is Wasalaye comprehensive bitters. Meaning: “You will explain comprehensive bitters”.

    Contains 44.7% alcohol content. Of course, you will explain. You will sit down in a gutter and explain. Wa shalaye. Sh’o lo stupid ni?

    Doyin Olagunju

    , ,