Since there’s the sibling code, bro code, and we even pitched a girl code, it’s time we made the coworker code a thing. These ten rules absolutely need to be in the code.
You shall not be a busybody
Happiness is when everyone knows how to mind their business. Believe it or not, asking your coworker why they’ve been in the toilet for the last two hours won’t always be interpreted as you being “caring”.
You shall respect your coworker’s time
The work is urgent, we know. But don’t go messaging someone at 2 a.m. on a Sunday and expect them to shine teeth with you.
You’re coworkers, not their boss
In other words, no go dey do pass yourself.
Don’t expose anyone’s white lies
Even if you’re sure they’re calling in sick just to attend another interview somewhere, it’s not your business o.
Your friendship ends at the office
Unless they show they’re open to being close buddies outside work, just satisfy yourself with being the office bestie.
Don’t ask for their social media handles
If y’all aren’t close like that, just maintain your lane. Many people like to have a safe space where they can shade their office people when they need to.
You shall not eat beans in the general workspace
Or any extremely… fragrant food at all. If your office doesn’t have a cafeteria, just starve. Just don’t bring beans and egg to work.
Thou shalt not steal ideas
Never pass off someone else’s idea as yours if you don’t want thunder to fire you.
Block until proven cool
Find them on social media before they find you, and block them. Only unblock when you’ve confirmed they have sense.
Don’t call a meeting when it could’ve been an email
Just don’t do it. Sincerely, your past, present and future coworkers.
NEXT READ: Corporate Speak 101: How to Insult Your Coworker Without Losing Your Job