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This one goes out to the people who won the genetic lottery with one or more physical features and have now refused to let us hear word because those features are now desirable and have been declared the standard of beauty by society.
1) Blue Eyes
People with blue eyes stare at you with the intensity of the sun as if they’re trying to burrow into your soul and extract your deepest, darkest secrets. They’ll keep doing this until you mention their eye colour; at this point, they’ll blink and break the hypnosis that began with the conversation.
2) Dimples
There’s nothing funnier than watching someone who has the faintest hint of a dimple take a picture while doing all they can to make sure the dimple shows, not unlike the guy in the picture above. I’m always concerned for them because it’s like if you squeeze your muscles any further, you’re gonna shit yourself.
3) Cheekbones
It’s nice that your cheekbones are sitting high and pretty, but do you have to mention them in the caption of every picture you post? Any small thing, “#Sunkissed #ModelFace #CheekBonesSharpAsHell #AngelineJolieHasNothingOnMe #IWasTheBluePrintForMichaelaCoelsCheekBoneSurgery”. Please rest.
4) Long legs
You have long legs. We get it. Also, do you know that taking your pictures from below to make your legs look even longer makes you look like the giant from Giant and the Beanstalk? You didn’t know? Well, now you do.
