1. Everyone older than you is either your aunty or your uncle.
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We are not even related.
2. What every grade means:
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The struggle.
3. Every Saturday morning is environmental sanitation.
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Ugh! The worst.
4. When you want to call any of your older siblings you have to start with “Brother” or “Sister”
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Why na?
5. When you see an adult sweeping you have 3 seconds to run and collect that broom from them.
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Hay God!
6. Your left hand is for you, your right hand is the only hand that matters.
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What did the hand do to you people?
7. When your parents call you, the answer is never ever “what?”
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“YES MA!”
8. The Morning Fresh is never finished, just add water.
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Don’t waste money.
9. University and Religion are NOT optional.
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Unless you want to go and live under the bridge.
10. You can’t date until you’re married.
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See wahala.
11. When your parents are angry every question they ask is rhetorical.
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Just keep quiet.
12. If you don’t want rice then you’re not hungry.
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Na wa.
13. Your career options:
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Chineke!