1. That deep freezer full of stockfish and goat meat:
Probably 2 freezers sef, if there is space.
2. A stack of buckets nobody is using to do anything:
WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY BUCKETS?
3. Ghana-must-go bags filled to the brim with nonsense:
That thing you think you misplaced 5 years ago? It’s inside one of them.
4. Old cans of paint no one will ever use:
For what ehn?
5. At least 3 fuel kegs because NEPA is an enemy of progress:
Can’t risk it.
6. Mattress for the relatives that come and “visit”:
“Visit” that turns into living sha.
7. Every broken gadget that has ever passed through that house:
AC oh, VHS player oh, EVERYTHING!!!
8. The dynamic duo of Nigerian foods:
As if we are storing for the Apocalypse.
9. That Christmas tree and dead Christmas lights that are older than you and your siblings:
Buy new ones ke? For what?
10. All your old textbooks and report cards from primary school to secondary school:
Because that 1999 Ugo C. Ugo might still be useful one day.
11. Old shoes they swear they’ll still wear, even though one leg is missing:
“It just needs polish.”
12. All the plates, bowls and umbrellas from all the Owambes they’ve ever attended:
And there have been A LOT of Owambes.
13. The special cutlery you only use during christmas and when really important guests come:
Not for you people oh, you’re not special enough.
So, basically EVERYTHING is in that garage except their actual car:
Our parents are special, abeg.
