1. You, waiting for your mother to bring you breakfast in bed.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

2. When you try and eat breakfast without doing your chores first.

When it’s not that you’re mad.

3. Your face, when you manage to eat breakfast before 1pm:

Ah! See miracle.

4. When you ask for breakfast and your mother starts warming rice.

Is it every time, rice?

5. When you hear a hawker chanting “AGEGE BREAD” outside.

Can’t carry last.

6. When your mother uses one teabag to make tea for everyone in the house.

Hay God!

7. The Nigerian breakfast sandwich starter pack:

The absolute best.

8. What every Nigerian grew up calling “tea”:

It’s sha still tea to me. Go and teach English to someone else.

9. When your mother makes you eat the dinner you didn’t finish from last night.

Mummy, yesterday has gone na.

10. You and your siblings, dodging that first and last slice of bread like:

Can they just stop putting it in the pack at all?

11. The unofficial Saturday breakfast:

Akara is forever bae.

12. The unofficial Sunday breakfast:

You know it’s true.

13. Every Nigerian’s favourite breakfast:

Only happens when your mum is in a great mood.