I haven’t been sick since I was seven. It’s a point of pride and a conversation opener for me. While most people brag about starting families and increased investment options, you can find me on the other side — pretending to not know anti-malarias and anti-biotics apart, for how little a role they play in my life.

But living just adjacent to my pride, is a debilitating fear that this good health will one day be taken away from me. That I would, some time in the future, be confined to a hospital bed. And not just any hospital — a poorly funded, severely under-resourced and most likely striking Nigerian hospital, whose sheer out-of-depthness would require that I be flown out of Nigeria, to exchange Naira for whatever foreign currency in search of proper medical care.

And being a part of Nigeria’s middle class — whose standing is just one minor economic misstep away from being a step below, it terrifies me.

“You’re one health emergency away from going bankrupt in Nigeria”, is a repeated refrain whose message rings true where the annual salary of the average Nigeria, which ranges between ₦658 324 and ₦5 000 0000 is considered.

Consider the math where an ailment like Chronic Kidney Disease, which affects 17,000 Nigerians annually is concerned. At least 180,000 Naira is required to cover its mandatory weekly dialysis sessions. And a further 6.5 million Naira to cover the requisite kidney transplant. The earnings don’t even come close.

Even more terrifying is the spate of Cancer, which currently affects over 100 000 Nigerians – 80 000 of which pass on from the disease, annually. To fund the treatment of this disease, which includes: regular screening, clinical assessment and chemotherapy, the average Nigerian can be faced with a medical bill going upwards of 20 million Naira.

With diseases like this, it is fairly common place for individuals to first attempt self-care, wholeheartedly willing the disease to go away with agbos and other merely palliative measures. This escalates to self-funding, before turning to friends and family for assistance.

And that is where the reality of the Nigerian health sector pops up — one big crowd-funding project.

With Nigerian families being people of pride, most problems are usually kept in-house. So you can be assured of every penny being scraped, and every last Naira sourced from familial pockets, before the stark reality of incomes — communal or no — just not holding up to the magnitude of bills major illnesses accumulate.

And then comes the painful part, shedding this pride and looking to outside help, seeking assistance from friends, acquaintances and foes alike. Which is why Nigerian social media these days has taken the form of a GoFundMe extension, for every ailment from various cancers to kidney diseases, to even cleft palates. Funding for varying medications for sustenance can are not left out.

Heartbreaking images of emaciated children, grown persons with body parts over-run with cancer, others with needs ranging from aid for diabetes to appeals for assitance with amputations, assail Nigerian feeds on a daily or even hourly basis.

To add maybe authenticity to the appeals, heart-rending videos and pictures of the indisposed in their most private, most vulnerable states are put on display. Using their last vestiges of energy, in varying stages of obvious discomfort — they beckon the public, completely by-passing the government who receives taxes and aid for this very reason, to give them a renewed chance at life through financial aid.

And for those yet to be privy to the power of social media, street-soliciting and car-to-car appeals in traffic by a relative, close associate or even the ailing party themselves, are an all too common phenomenon.

And if that isn’t enough to demoralise healthcare seekers — state-run health institutions are usually plagued with strike actions. Disgruntled practitioners, fed up with the piss-poor treatment they are subjected to — where one too many instances of doctors performing surgeries with illumination provided from the torches of their mobile phones; or having to make do with makeshift incubators, composed of cardboard boxes, with a bulb and hot water bottle in the 21st century. These are problems that are sure to persist, with a government that dedicates less than 15% of its annual budget to the health sector, with 5.95% being the highest dedication, back in 2012.

And while the government’s efforts, through the NHIS holds its own for providing basic care, it remains elusive to most Nigerians, with less than 7 million of Nigeria’s 180 million being covered under the scheme. Where a majority of its enrollees are federal government workers.

Added to this is the fact that most healthcare providers under the scheme shy away from providing treatment for chronic illnesses; and where it does provide for treatment, only the initial stages of care are covered.

Presently, I guard my health with manic earnestness. You can find me religiously avoiding re-heating food in plastic containers, randomly checking my heart rate to make sure it never veers away from the 120/80 mark. Indulging in whatever indigenous concoction my mother whips to cleanse my system and rid me of bad dreams or engaging in more exercise than my lazy twenty-something body would prefer in the mornings.

While these are almost laudable for a person looking to make the most of their well-being, doing so out of fear that the health care system of my country is certain to fail me, should things hit the fan, is certainly is not the way to go.

How is it, that a relatively unknown candidate with two first names – Felix Nicholas, bested the could-have-been formiddable third force of Nigeria’s presidential candidates, to rack up the third highest votes in the whole of Nigeria?

Through the sacred art of finesse, that’s how.

There is very little actual information about Felix Nicholas on the World Wide Web, beyond his being the unexpected third-place winner of Nigeria’s elections. But we do know at least 3 things for sure.

He is 37 years old and the pastor-founder of the Miracle Center International Inc, New York — a state he resides in, and his preferred hidey-hole while other candidates painted houses and distributed bags of rice, during Nigeria’s campaign season.

He is from Edo State and has carried out at least one notable philanthropic activity there.

Most interestingly, he was formerly the 2019 presidential candidate of the interestingly named All Blended Party (who came 35th in the elections). But something must have happened, or Felix saw the finessing light, because by December 2018, they were fielding another candidate – Moses Shipi, while Nicholas had hopped on to the People’s Coalition Party. Interesting.

And speaking of the PCP, you know how they say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery? Well, they might have taken it a little overboard, going beyond flattery, to an almost crazed fan, with how worrying their similarities to the PDP are.

Foe one thing, they changed their party logo to better reflect a more PDP-aesthetic, see for yourself:

https://t.co/E74bLb2cU2

The thing about the PCP is, it is one letter short of the PDP, one of 2 most powerful Nigerian parties. its logo is a simple circle, partitioned into 3 parts, with the letters, P C P, written across them, while again, taking from the PDP, to adopt it’s primary colours of green, white and red.

To make things even more interesting, the PCP stuck with a middle ‘c’, a middle letter that comes before the PDP’s ‘D’, to make sure Nigeria’s unsuspecting, short-sighted and astigmatism affected citizens, looking to cast their ballot for the PDP are sufficiently hoodwinked.

And it worked too. Nicholas Felix only had to sit back, relax and enjoy Manhattan clam chowder while his master plan worked for him.

0n February 23rd, while many scrolled through the ballot paper, looking to find their preferred PDP logo, they happened first on that of the PCP, in all of its likeness with the PDP, robbing Atiku of who knows how many genuine votes. They raked in a total of 110 196 votes.

Not bad for a party with just a little over five-hundred likes on Facebook.

Felix has since thanked the good people of Nigeria for recognising his effectiveness as a leader, (ha!), while in this same America he is apparently loathe to leave. Same with the PCP’s party Chairman, whose identity I was convinced was entirely made up, but no, Don Harmattan is real and must be just as grateful to Nigerians for believing in the party’s vision.

Politics in Nigeria, how can you not love this game?

Remember how one of the first things they tell you in driving school is to treat every other driver on the road like they’re insane?

You probably laughed it off that day, and proceeded to try your hands at the evils of parallel parking, but you see those driving instructors — they might have been on to something.

Every day, and that’s every single day; some type of madness is unleashed on Nigerian roads, regardless of the time of day.

It could be in the morning where; energised from a quick snack, the Nigerian road rage monster that lives in us all, is just up and roaring to go.

At this time, it isn’t uncommon to find a well dressed Nigerian man, patiently beckoning to another in morning traffic to roll down his windows, only to pass the universal “it’s like you’re mad and have no one to tell you sign’ across.

Or even a Nigerian mother, patiently chiding her child to remain in the car, while she continues the business of wrapping her hands around another man’s neck for recklessly scratching her car in morning traffic.

What is this Road Rage Monster you might ask? Well, it’s that thing that makes myriad Nigerians keep a horsewhip on their dashboards, in the event that another human being might require an animal’s thrashing.

It’s the thing that makes Nigerians keep less than a centimetre of space between the car in front of them, so no other opportunist vehicle can rightfully make their way into a lane.

And of course, it’s the same monster that makes it perfectly okay for grown men, in broad daylight to engage in maniacal road-races, after being cut off while driving.

As mentioned earlier; this road rage is no respecter of hours.

Afternoons are its choicest period. The road-rage monster is hot and starved, he just wants to get his lunch, but unruly Nigerian drivers won’t let him be.

This is why Nigeria has witnessed one too many scenes of grown men sitting on the bonnets of their cars, playing a vehicular variation of Uncle — looking to see who would move for whom first at an intersection.

Or why scenes like these aren’t too uncommon if the monster is having a particularly bad afternoon.

Night time produces another kind of Road-Rage Monster, the ‘tired, and angry with your boss kind”.

He just wants to get home in time to watch the news and surrender to bed. What that means is, he’s going to toot his horn aggressively for every microsecond a driver wastes at a freshly green traffic light. He’ll make a melody out of it if necessary.

The monster is also going to do his best to make sure no car cuts in front of him, regardless of how rightful it is. That’s going to add another 10 hours to his commute, like most Nigerians reason, so we can’t have that.

And if the monster is no respecter of time of day, you should know the day of the week is equally as irrelevant.

Nigerian drivers will cuss you out on Monday and give you the finger for driving too slowly on Friday.

Decked in geles and agbadas, the many weekend road rage monsters are more than ready to dash you waka for doing normal things like observing a red light or waiting for a pedestrian to make their way through a zebra crossing. There’s an owambe with rapidly finishing small chops to get to, they won’t let you be unfortunate for them.

But if it’s any comfort, Nigerians aren’t the only ones suffering through the road rage plague.

Other countries actually have to deal with serious cases of murder over road rage.

What’s the worst thing your Road Rage Monster has made you do?

After two days of suffering through hours and hours of the soporific reeling out of election results, Muhammadu Buhari finally emerged victorious as Nigeria’s president.

This means he now has four years to make strides in education, power generation, corruption, the economy and pretty much every sector of the Nigerian state that needs help i.e all of them.

But that’s for him. What are your next moves as a Nigerian now that Buhari has won the elections? Try these on for size:

As a lawyer, now is the time to brush up on your Civil Litigation, it’s election petition season!!!

If you aren’t already one, now is the time to tight any SAN you know to your chest, don’t say we don’t give you the best advice.

If you were an opposition politician, I’m going to need you to put on your most subservient smile, and pucker up because you’re about to kiss a lot of behinds, it’s cross-carpeting time!!!

And it doesn’t matter if you called the President names or insulted the party you’re about to join. You should know all sins are forgiven soon as you join the APC.

Now, not to alarm you or anything, but if you have any naira you’ve been hiding under your bed, now is the time to change it to Dollars.

That’s because it is very likely the Naira falls to ₦400 against the Dollar, by the end of 2019 when investors retreat from emerging and frontier markets.

So get to stepping.

Please and please, if you’re excited Buhari won, or still fuming that your candidate didn’t, don’t do anything rash like naming your dog after him.

Remember what happened to the last guy that did that? Don’t let that be your story.

Best to love/hate from outside the club, than inside Kiri-Kiri.

And remember, if you want to know how the economy is doing, or how the country is faring generally, Google it.

Don’t expect any addresses from the President. There’s no election to put on a show for anymore, so that’s that.

Watch the past addresses if you start to miss his Northern lilt.

Also, if the President’s many travels upset you before, just ready your mind to unlook anything that he takes our eyes to see this year, okay?

You think it’s beans he has gone months without a long stretch in the abroad? Sometimes your country gives you bad vibes and you have to escape it.

You understand, don’t you?

It be like that sometimes.

And remember, if you were used to wilding out and eating 2 pieces of meat before, cut that down if you know what’s best for you.

This administration is bent on having people live within their means. And what’s better than living within your means? surviving below it.

I’ll let you decide.

Lest I forget, your wisest move with Buhari emerging president is to get — and I can’t stress this enough — your Canadian visa on lock.

Doesn’t even have a lot to do with the Presidency, I just want to see your skin flourishing in a country that actually works. Plus, the weather’s decent.

Buhari

He’s probably plotting his fourth televised speech of the day, to break the record for “most unnecessary consecutive televised addresses”.

His speechwriter and human teleprompter are whimpering in a corner, signaling Osinbajo to make it stop.

Atiku

You can find him currently in a serious meeting with his campaign advisors, debating the pros, cons and logistics of dropping a photo shoot in front of JFK Airport and returning to Nigeria in time to vote.

“If I lose this thing because people don’t think I can enter America, it’s on you oh” he fumes.

Dino

Melaye, who is contesting for the Kogi West Senatorial position, is home, scrolling through his Instagram, while reclined in the front seat of his rotating Cadillac, Fuji garbage blaring from the speakers.

Something comes to mind and he beckons his assistant to the car.

“Am I healthy in the media right now, or should I be walking around with a brace?”

She assures him of his health, but reminds him to brace up, a week before his court date.

He smiles, produces his handy tripod and camera from underneath the car seat, and begins the Harlem Shake. His next Instagram post is about to be explosive.

Oby

Mrs Ezekwesili just blocked the last member of the ACPN hounding her for campaign spending details.

She added all of them to a groupchat, dropped the link to her website, where all campaign spending details are present and simply exited the group.

She’s currently waiting to see what presidential candidates will RSVP to her coalition party, later tonight.

Eunice

Mrs Atuejide just parked in front of Atiku’s campaign headquarters, fruit basket in hand.

Since she has pulled out of the race, best believe she’s going to cheer her preferred candidate to victory come February 23rd.

Yele

Sowore is currently shooing off red-eyed party supporters, hanging around his residence, reminding him of his promise to legalise weed.

He’s planning his final town hall meeting, which he has been most consistent with since the start of the campaigns.

Durotoye

Mr Durotoye has three laptop screens open before him, and is feverishly refreshing his social media accounts.

If he crosses a collective 1 million mark, he’ll take it as a good sign of victory, if not…

Moghalu

Moghalu has shouted ‘ONE TRILLION NAIRA INVESTMENT FUND’ at every single mirror he can find, this election eve.

He’s incredibly pumped for the elections and can barely wait for the results to be out.

In only a matter of days, Nigerians everywhere will make the decision, from a pool of options, as to who gets to call the shots in the country for the next 4 years.

But how do they feel about this? Are they excited, will they be voting with their chests, or are completely resigned to the thought?

We decided to find out how they felt, here’s what they had to say:

Elections?

Nope, never have, never will.

It’s not worth the stress. I actually almost contemplated getting my PVC, but when I saw the queues and heard all the stories on Twitter, I fully hung my towel. It’s just not for me.

–Adebanji

INEC, Release me.

I won’t be voting in the elections, but hear me out. INEC has refused to release my PVC.

See, I actually considered taking this matter to Allah in prayer, in fact, I did. I went to their office three times, and three times they sent me back.

The last time was the most annoying. I was told to return after the elections to collect it.

So you see, it’s not by my power at this point.

–Sly

Come the 23rd, catch me outside at my polling unit.

By the grace of the almighty God, on the 23rd, or whatever date they push it to, count me in.

If they like, they should fix it for next year, one day it will hold, and that day, I will be front and center, with my thumb inked.

– Adaobi

It’s a no from me.

I won’t be voting in the elections, and there’s no real reason to it, I just don’t want to.

We asked if she thought her vote wouldn’t count, this was her response:

I think votes do count. Otherwise, politicians wouldn’t be dying on the line trying to buy them with tin-tomato and bags of rice or whatever. I just really can’t be bothered about it.

I’m only a casual observer of Nigeria at this point.

–Daniella.

My church and I will be at the polling units.

I’m so bent on voting, I made a Whatsapp group for my church members, to make sure every single youth got their PVC and will be coming out to vote.

Except they postpone the elections indefinitely, myself and my church will be coming out to vote.

Can I add you to the groupchat?

– Emmanuel Jnr

I even fought on top of this voting matter.

I will be voting, you can count on that.

In fact, as I’m talking to you now, I’m fighting with my wife because she wants me to vote for somebody, whose name I don’t even like saying.

But that’s in her pocket, we’ll make up after the elections, but I’m voting oh.

–Adesegun.

Election day that I’ve booked for sleep.

Voting? It could never be me.

I didn’t even pretend to get my PVC. But people should vote though, I just won’t be one of them. I’ve already booked sleep for the election days. We should have this thing every 3 weeks, far as me and my sleep are concerned.

–Asmau

Depends on how I wake up.

You know what? I have my PVC, I have all the facts, I just don’t know if I’ll be voting.

For one thing, I’m not completely sold on my candidate of choice. Plus, what if it’s my side looters decide to attack? I have a bad knee, I can’t be running race with anybody.

Anyway, depends on how I wake up election day, you just might catch me at a polling unit.

– Oladapo.

No! On behalf of my family and myself.

I will not be, same with my family.

It’s so deep,my family and I don’t even want to be around for the elections. This weekend, we’re going to be in Benin Republic.

Last week, it was Togo. If they move it again, I don’t know, maybe Senegal.

But come election day, and maybe the week after, you won’t smell me in this country.

–Mumuni

I will be voting.

There are no ifs, buts or maybes about it. Provided I’m alive come the 23rd, nothing can stop me from bringing this election home for my candidate.

–Jonathan.

Historically, I’ve been known to be optimistic, almost to the point of idiocy. That text asking to forward my BVN and secret pin to an unknown number? Probably legit. Instagram Green tea promising dangerously instantaneous weight loss written in pig latin? What could possibly go wrong? But when it comes to Nigeria and her politics? I pull a Beyonce and push all of my optimism to the left, favouring a long, hard stroll through Realist Avenue instead.

Nigeria is currently days away from making the decision as to who gets to be head huncho of its affairs, and then some — for the next four years. This date, as we all know was pushed by a week. While many bemoaned the inconvenience — my dour, realist self took it to be just one of many Nigerian sponsored – ‘disappointed but not surprised’ episodes.

What really should keep our attention and fan our worries is the fact that it is about to be someone’s job to hopefully take the economy from the toilet it is currently languishing in, and move our education from the cesspit of pre-civilisation it is teasingly slipping and sliding into. And let’s not forget, they’re about to be in charge of Nigeria’s insecurity problem that just won’t go away — no matter how much anyone wants to pretend it has been taken care of. Can your candidate handle this?

And not speaking from an ‘if you believe it, you can achieve it’ perspective. Do they have the tenacity required to push marauding herdsmen from the orbit of the everyday farmer just trying to get by? Do their policies, as advertised, have what it takes to keep Nigerians from risking it all for a Canadian visa, just for a shot at a better life? And godfathers? Is there a chance that their tenure will be marred by powers from above dictating the shots ? Can you beat your chest that your prospective candidate and his cabinet won’t turn Nigeria’s foreign reserves and earnings into a stylized shoulder bag, quick and easy to reach into for every personal expense? Will they abide by a government that awards corrupt politicians with added appointments and increased societal mettle? What about sparing Nigerians international disgrace and actually keep the laws of the country whose job their’s is, to preserve and uphold? With candidates for the 2019 elections crawling out of every crevice like little woodland creatures, it’s important to look beyond more Nigerians taking the time to be concerned about politics and ask the important questions. Does your guy sabi the work? Or are you voting simply to fulfill all righteousness?

Buhari Actually Running.

I mean, this was more disappointing than surprising, but as someone who takes promises with the reverence of a holy house, I’d say it was still pretty annoying.

After playing it out to read like he wouldn’t need a second term after winning because of how severely he would F shit up, our dear president did a 360 and went on to run. It is well sha.

73 People Contesting The Presidency.

We don’t know who vexed Nigerians, okay we do, but last year, eyes turned red. Popping out of every crevice and woodwork was a person who thought they could do a better job at president-ing than the man currently at the helm of affairs. So much so, we ended up with a grand total of 73 people running for the for the post of president.

Sowore The Plug.

Running for presdient and educating NIgerians one bud at a time, Yele Sowore let us know where to hit up should we ever need the loudest herb in Nigeria – and it’s on Ekiti state apparently.

He let us know the export potential of this commodity and how his government would capitalise on its potency.

Can somebody please remind him, we’re a largely pretentious and conservative society? Thanks dear.

Father Oshiomole.

While welcoming the newly defected members of the APC, an event which got press coverage by the way, Oshiomole made his secret life as a Nigerian political priest known, when he sanctioned the new life of APC members; informing them that “all sins were forgiven” once they joined the APC.

Must be nice to have a clean slate, anyone know if he can make GPAs start afresh? Asking for the newly not striking Uni students, who have probably forgotten everything but their matriculation numbers.

Buhari’s… Incidents.

Buhari had a bit of a wild ride this election cycle.

He raised the wrong hands, pretended to write down questions and actually named someone else president.

Plus, he’s staring octogenarian life, square in the face should he win the elections.

The more we think about it, what wasn’t wild about Buhari’s campaign for the 2019 elections?

Ambode Continuing His Speech Even When The Rally Was Getting Shot Up.

Not sure if we should have counted this as a cry for help, but Ambode continuing to read out his prepared speech at a rally where someone was literally getting stabbed, with gunshots were blaring and police coming to ransack the place, was definitely top 10 of the wildest things that happened during the election campaign season.

But it’s almost understandable. After all, he was speaking at a rally for the people of Lagos to vote in the guy to replace him as governor. Someone he once called a junkie, incompetent candidate, in fewer words of course.

Osibanjo Getting Into A Helicopter Crash And Powering Through Like Nothing Happened?

Thinking about this still does my head in.

While heading to a campaign rally in Kogi, the helicopter parading our dear vice-president crash-landed, but luckily experienced no fatalities.

But if the vice-president escaping a near-fatal crash wasn’t wild enough — he picked up and carried on campaigning like he had merely survived a tiny bout of car sickness.

What is this unmatched APC zeal to win the elections?

Donald Duke And All The Drama.

Looking for who had the most dramatic campaign season? Cast your eyes to Donald Duke, who — after having won the primaries for the SDP fair and square, Duke had his candidacy revoked on a technicality. He then got his candidacy re-instated, only to have his party dump him for the current president of Nigeria.

We wouldn’t wish this emotional roller-coaster on the lady that consistently supplies our office with hard ponmo at lunch.

Atiku Stunting On The Gram With His Visa.

Fulfilling the dreams of many Nigerians before him, Atiku finally got to visit America after about 13 years away.

This was newsworthy because corruption charges against him in the US, could have had him feeling cuffs around his wrist before having the chance to take a first selfie in the abroad.

But what is really wild is, that special visa? It just might have been a temporary waiver to enter the US. Hope he got all his shopping done. Welp.

PVC Struggles.

Some people are having a super unhealthy attachment to this election of a thing, so much so; they’re ready to have PVCs and INEC offices burnt, rather than lose the elections.

It is never that deep guy. Please stop turning the PVCs into barbeque, plastic really doesn’t taste good.

El Rufai’s Threats.

For some reason, El Rufai thought it would be a good idea to threaten countries with army bases, actually equipped for wars – clothing and artillery included.

While speaking on election interference from the US, UK and The EU, he threatened to have the bodies of any smack-talkers from the afore mentioned nations returned to their home countries.

Please don’t put us in trouble oh, nobody sent you this wor. Please dear.

A Whole Party Got Disqualified.

The APC section of the APC is filled with a lot of messy drama. So much so, INEC had every one of its members running for office disqualified.

SO that’s anyone from the APC running for governor, Senate, local government, everything disqualified.

Life is tough oh.

Besides Osibanjo and the lucky charm that went on to become president — Atiku Abubakar is one of the only Nigerian vice-presidents we don’t have to catch an aneurism to actually remember. Argue with someone born before 1996, please, please.

As someone who has tried for about 26 years to become the president, Atiku gives new meaning to perseverance. And it might finally be paying off. Currently, he is the strongest contender against Buhari for the number one spot in the country.

But besides internalising the very essence of perseverance, here are some of the other things Atiku has had to do to get to the posititon of having an actual shot at this presidency thing:

He became an Instagram hunny.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BpZQBAeB5jN/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading

As the child of much younger parents, still struggling with understanding WhatsApp reply quotes, I appreciate that this was no easy feat. All his #smile captions have landed him with 245k followers, so not too shabby.

He became super active on Twitter.

https://t.co/G7wDLoQ3IJ

Way before they even started selling nomination forms for the elections, Atiku was already sowing the seeds of popularity with the young folk. There wasn’t a trending topic he didn’t give his grown-up 2 cents on, he even learnt to dab.

Man, I really hope the youth vote is worth all this stress.

Speaking of nomination forms, Atiku has bought 4 of those. Can you imagine the bastard money he has spent?

My head doesn’t even want to process it, so I won’t even try.

He has changed political parties so many times, it’s giving me whiplash to think about it.

What is a party loyalty when the presidency is calling your name with an Ibibio accent?

He went toe-to-toe with someone who — rumour has it — once caused the bottom of a tea-cup to fall when he felt there was a sprinkle of jazz in his tea.

Long story short, Atiku wanted a chance to run for president and Obasanjo was interested in a third term, they butted heads and things went south.

Anyway, with this news, it’s quite clear the only thing Atiku fears is not becoming president one day.

Then he made up with this same Obj when it came time for the 2019 elections.

Even though love doesn’t win elections, it definitely plays a small, but mighty part.

See, he even risked American prison to prove he could tie Buhari for this travelling abroad thing, should he win the presidency.

Especially as he only got a temporary waiver to enter the US. Just goes to show, he isn’t playing around.

And if that wasn’t enough, he left the abroad breeze he was enjoying to rush to Nigeria for the presidential debates.

He might as well have stayed behind though, because the debate he rushed for, he didn’t attend it.

He came up with the ‘Atikulate’ slogan, and actually… stuck with it?

Look, if that doesn’t prove he’ll try anything to win this election, I don’t know what will.

For most Nigerians, the years 2018-2019 have been one big endeavour to avoid the over-exposure from candidates contesting the 2019 elections.

Not very far from the most over-exposed and over-publicised candidates, is no other than our very own President Muhamadu Bubucakes.

Having put us through everything from lazy-shaming Nigerian youth, to almost crowning some other guy with the presidency of this great state, here are 12 of the most memorable Buhari moments in the race to the 2019 elections.

When he was playing mind -games with whether or not he would run for the presidency.

We’re all for a good guessing game, but toying with our feelings with the hope that he wouldn’t be seeking a second term, that was a lot.

When he finally ruined some days and made others, with the announcement that he would in fact, be running.

You win some, you lose some.

That time that crazy rumour started that the President wasn’t our beloved Bubu, but was some random from Sudan.

But you know what they say, where there’s smoke there’s usually fire. Could it be….

That time he had to set everyone straight that he was the real OG, no fakes.

Imagine there were actually two Buharis running around Nigeria. Just imagine.

His special non-appearance at the 2019 presidential debates.

I especially loved all the points he didn’t raise, and those answers he didn’t give to prove he was worth a second term.

When he sent that subliminal message that he was tired of president-ing, and tried to pass it off to this next guy.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BsvypjCgxD1/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading

As you lay your bed, so you lie on it buddy.

When he got it all wrong with this other guy.

Is everything okay with Bubs though?

When he proved that sometimes, you really are as old as you feel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0GVN3TTXNY

He’s 76 though, these things happen.

That time the Buhari-mania was so crazy in Jos, they didn’t even let him get through his campaign.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxzip4PRG4E

Who said money can’t buy you love?

When he showed us there was a humourous side to his sometimes mean-mug, with this little quip:

I am sometimes surprised when people call Buhari a Tyrant.

Take a listen to why he will NEVER write a book. Too funny and honest.

😀😀😀😀😀 pic.twitter.com/uoK8xTtGx3

— Banqie (@AdeBanqie) February 5, 2019

People that actually still get on his bad side after 1984, you have mind oh.

Can we stan a multi-culture appropriating candidate please?

A for effort!

But perhaps the most memorable thing about Buhari’s campaign is how he stuck to his anti-corruption stance from 2015. Here’s the photo to prove it:

Don’t you just love politics?!