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On the 9th of June 2018, Linda Ikeji put out an announcement. She was launching a streaming platform which would feature a ton of movies and reality tv shows. The announcement was met with a lot of hype and some ridicule. What did a gossip blogger know about TV? Turns out, enough to get 10,000 subscribers in 3 days, according to Linda’s publicist.
Before the launch of the platform, Linda went on an aggressive marketing campaign. Teaser after teaser was released across social media for what promised to be entertaining, ratchet TV; not unlike her blog.
It took me 4 months to get sold, but I finally signed up. What was supposed to be a couple of hours of TV turned into a 24-hour binge of LiTV.
Reality TV?
The first thing that drew my attention to Linda Ikeji TV was the numerous shows which she touted as Reality TV. I dove into those first, starting with Girls Squad.
Girls squad is about 6 girls with an average age of 20, who somehow move in together into a fully furnished flat in Lekki, in what seems to be a 48-hour period (?).
The show chronicles their lives as they navigate living together. It is highlighted by endless hours of mindless chatter amongst the stars of the show. Asides an introduction in the first episode, we have no real clue as to who they are, what they like, what they do.
The whole two-episode season spans a little over an hour and nothing happens. Absolutely nothing. There’s no build up or climax or any form of character development. Where is the drama? Why aren’t wigs flying? Why aren’t faces being clawed at? Where is the drama I was promised?
From watching the show, you do get a sense that the conversations are genuine and non-scripted. Whether they do live in an apartment they paid for or whether they were just thrown together in a house big brother style is what I’m not sure of.
Most entertaining? Oyinbo Wives of Lagos
The first season of Oyinbo Wives starts slow. It opens with Kenny. A Nigerian woman married to a French man having breakfast with her husband. Who happened to be her French tutor before they somehow ended up in the bedroom. Right off the bat, we see her tell her husband the breakfast is just a ruse to get money from him. This is followed up with an aside where she says she was surprised he used a condom the first time they have sex. And that sets the tone of the whole show.
Next up is ‘sexy feisty’ Mitchelle, who sounds an awful lot like Bobrisky. Next is Linda with a y, the resident diva. And then Beatrice who dominates in the bedroom because apparently – “when you’re married to an expat the competition is crazy”. Then there is Oby who is married to a Croatian and isn’t after her husband’s wealth. We meet Oli later who has just come back from vacation later in the episode. The episode is highlighted by a series of dramatic face-offs between the wives. Unlike with Girls Squad, you are guaranteed to be thoroughly entertained.
King Tonto is here.
I went from Oyinbo wives of Lagos to King Tonto, which starts of with the star of the show–Tonto Dike, promising a drama filled show. Disappointingly the most dramatic thing to happen in the first episode is Tonto Dike reacting to an interview (which just happened to air on Linda Ikeji TV). In the interview, the split between her and her ex-husband was discussed. We are then made to suffer through a grating clip where we hear Tonto Dike’s manager telling her to ‘just move on’ and ‘let it go’ instead of speaking out on domestic violence. Tonto uses the opportunity to speak against domestic violence.
Throwing it back with ‘The Classics’
‘The Classics’ is an interview show with some of our favourite music and movie legends. From Sunny Nneji to Baby Fryo to Segun Arinze. And it’s arguably one of the best things to watch on LiTV. Even though the first episode I watched started with the Interviewer mispronouncing Baba Fryo’s name then asking where he was from, I’m looking forward to more episodes.
Magodo Moms And Their Single Friend
Linda Ikeji is not the Queen of Clickbait for nothing, and LiTV is proof. And it’s the only reason I found myself watching ‘Magodo Moms And Their Single Friend’ at 2 in the morning. As you already guessed it is about 4 mums and their single friend. I was hoping for an ‘Oyinbo Wives of Lagos’ level of entertainment with the show. Turns out your life is a whole lot less exciting when you are not an Oyinbo wife.
Nigeria’s Tallest Man
Another personal favourite is ‘Agoro’ a documentary focused on the life of Nigeria’s tallest man. Growing up I’d run into him during supermarket runs with my mum or stops at the filling station and stare in awe. It was a pleasant surprise to see that someone had finally decided to tell his story.
By the time I was done I had so many questions for the team at LiTV? Who did the casting for these shows? When did shooting happen? Where did she find the cast? How can so much bad TV exist in one space? Could she be modeling her strategy after Netflix’s ‘bad TV strategy’?
It was super annoying that one episode didn’t run into another on the mobile app. And I had to go back to the home page to select the next episode. Felt a lot like a bootleg version of Netflix.
I was however impressed by the fact that Kannywood was given its own section, with more than half a dozen movies.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat entertained. Will I be renewing my subscription? Maybe for the Second Season of Oyinbo Wives of Lagos.
It’s a packed hall of about a thousand people, and an M.C. is speaking in an accent that he probably acquired off binging American shows. One side of the Hall is a streak of turquoise blue Gele and caps, the other end is Burgundy.
The MC’s jokes aren’t as funny as they were 30 minutes ago, and it’s not because he’s run out of good ones.
It’s the guests who have run out of patience.
An aroma is sifting through the hall, but no waiters come bearing good news. People are putting their hand fans to work, even though the air-conditioning is doing a decent job.
And in a seemingly random moment when the MC hands over what is left of the audience’s attention to the live band, the waiters start rolling in.
Huge trays holding fistfuls of beef, coleslaw, and mede-mede. All of them, sitting pretty on small heaps of Jollof Rice in plates.
The party has now began proper, the music will sound better, guests will aww more, because Jollof Rice is libation to Enjoyment.
But this is not where the Jollof Story begins—you’d have to travel westward, out of Nigeria, to a small Island off the Coast of Senegal, St. Louis.
Djolof a.k.a. Wolof Empire
West Africans disagree on many things about Jollof—especially on who has the best—but on the origin of Jollof Rice, there is no debate.
The Wolof Empire was a West African State that ruled over Senegal and Gambia sometime between the 1350s and 1540s. A 1549 Battle of Danki—which had nothing to do with rice—led the four vassal states of the Wolof Empire to become mostly independent.
And so, Djolof—which used to be the old metropolitan capital of the Empire—became a kingdom by itself.
“Give me a pot and I’ll cook up a storm.” – Penda Mbaye (Not exactly her words, but they’ll suffice.)
Fast forward to the 1800s, there lived a chef, cooking meals at ceremonies, experimenting as she went. Penda Mbaye wasn’t exactly a Jollof woman. In fact, she’s believed to have come from Walo, another one of the four vassal states from the old Wolof Empire. As White People came into West Africa with their colonialism, they also brought a wide variety of food from their travels, mainly from South America. They came with food like cassava, pineapples, and even tomatoes.
For Penda Mbaye, fresh food meant fresh opportunities to experiment. One recipe led to another and Penda landed a job as Chef at the Colonial Governor’s Residence in St. Louis.
One meal had a reputation in the governor’s residence; it was a one-pot combo of barley, fish and vegetables cooked together.
A barley shortage came around the time that Asian rice was landing on Senegal’s shores, and in typical Penda fashion, she substituted rice for barley. The magic is created, Penda called it Thiéboudienne (Cheb-oo-jen).
And so, Jollof Rice as we know it was born. It went on to become Senegal’s pride.
Senegal to West Africa
There’s another theory about Jollof’s origins. According to Mamadou Diouf, a Professor of African History at Columbia University, Jollof Rice is military.
Look at it this way. You’re a Colonial Officer, how do you feed a large Senegalese Colonial Army? You get rice, tomatoes, fish or meat, and throw all of it into a big pot.
According to this theory, it’s probably how Jollof travelled across West Africa, militarily, as colonial forces found effective ways to feed their soldiers, especially around the World Wars.
What is certain of course, is that Jollof Rice diffused across West Africa, just like everything else diffused; fashion like the Senegal fabric or music. It could also have been the Djula people, a tribe of merchants who travelled across West Africa, selling goods, and leaving bits of their culture everywhere they went.
There are few accounts of its footprint in Nigeria, the oldest that we know of being in the Kudeti Book Of Yoruba Cookery, first published in 1934.
“I suspect the original recipe for Jollof was in there,” Ozoz ‘Kitchen Butterfly’ Sokoh says. Ozoz is a culinary wizard and food enthusiast and she has a 1947 “The Ibo Cookery Book” to back this original recipe theory up. In fact, the recipe from this book included “Cabbage or Spinach (tete)” as an ingredient. It also used to be spelt ‘Jolloff’.
“It references the Kudeti The Kudeti Book of Yoruba Cookery in its forward,” she says. “I don’t have that (1934) edition, but I do have a 2002 repackaged edition that can still be purchased at the CMS Bookstore.“
Jollof Rice evokes a different nostalgia for the generation at the heels of this book. Take Maimuna Atta-Ahmed, who was a teenager at the dawn of an Independent Nigeria.
“When I lived in Kano, there used to be canned Jollof Rice,” the septuagenarian says. “And it was made in Kano. In the 60s, Kano had everything you can imagine. There were the groundnut pyramids, there were textile and hide industries. The canned Jollof Rice was popular.”
But even as Jollof Rice had a reputation, it wasn’t exactly a party choice.
“Jollof Rice wasn’t at parties when I was young,” Sherifat Hassan, a 51-year old caterer in Abuja says. “What was common was Pounded Yam, Amala and all that.”
Imagine this;
You’re planning a wedding party in the 60s. It’s not a big ceremony, so you’re expecting 200-300 people. “Let’s cook rice,” someone suggests. You think about it for a moment and know it’s never going to happen. Not rice.
The problem that stood in the way of people and their Party Jollof was stones.
“In those days,” Sherifat explains, “the rice had stones. Even some local rice these days still have stones. The only rice that didn’t have stones were Uncle Ben’s and Aunt Caroline Rice.” But the price of Uncle Ben’s mostly kept Jollof Rice in family kitchens, and on special events like Sunday afternoons and festival menus.
By the late 60s and early 70s, oil had become more attractive for the Nigerian government, and agriculture was taking a backseat. One consequence of this, besides the disappearance of the industries and groundnut pyramids, was higher importation. In fact, the share of rice in the Nigerian diet went from 1% in 1960 to 7% in 1980, and that rise is mostly because we imported more.
The Asian Flood
Uncle Ben’s was a luxury choice and especially sold in retail quantities. Asian rice, on the other hand was cheaper, especially since there was a drop in imported rice tariffs in the mid-70s.
And with cheaper and stoneless rice, came Party Jollof.
Since Asian rice came into our lives, it has never left. As long as it powered our Jollof Rice, we chose it above all else, even at the expense of local rice.
Soft Jollof. Soft Power.
You’re a Nigerian or Ghanaian, living or studying in the West, most likely the U.S. or U.K. You have a small get-together with your friends, some of them are White. You offer them Jollof Rice.
They try the first spoon, and their mouths are on fire. The heat is nothing like they’ve ever tasted, and by the time they’ve gotten used to it, they love it. This is most likely how modern Westerners first experienced Jollof Rice, although their ancestors already tried it from the ones their slaves made.
The world might be a harsh and cold place, but it still deserves good things, and so Jollof Rice has been gifted to the world, just as West Africa has gifted it Afrobeat.
Jollof Rice on Twenty-twos
When something is a big deal, you pick a date and throw a party for it every year. But how did the 22nd of August every year become the date?
“In 2015, I woke up to see the date set on social media,” Ozoz says. “I had no idea who created it. We just stuck with it.”
It turns out there was an origin, and Ozoz found it. Or them.
In 2015, Queen “AsoebiAfrica” thought it’d be a great idea to pick the 3rd Saturday of August as a good day to celebrate Jollof Rice. That day was the 22nd.
Her friend WestAfrikanman loved the idea, and so it stuck.
And even though they didn’t have a permanent date in mind, brands like Etisalat and Maggi jumping on it made August 22 stick.
Despite how removed Queen felt from the date being the permanent choice at first, she says;
“I’m so glad I was able to create a special day for my darling Jollof!”
And so August 22 has become the day we gather around the pot and celebrate Jollof.
Nigeria’s culinary map is diverse, with Tuwo as Warden in the North, Starch making its strongest mark in the South-south, Akpu in the Southeast, and Amala the rockstar of the Southwest. But when we gather round to sit at a table as one people, it will be Jollof Rice making the rounds. Because Jollof Rice is libation to Enjoyment.
It’s impossible to drive through Enugu and not think of food. The entire city just says “come and eat” and with two free days to spend in Enugu, I planned to do just that. When exploring a new city in Nigeria, guides are great but no one knows the city like a Keke rider, a curator at the museum or the bellhop at your hotel. If you plan on eating your way through a city, ask them. It’s how I got the best and most diverse food in two days, ever.
I wasn’t going to be doing all of it alone. My friend, Omesham came in from Abuja to join me on this.
Abacha at Fire For Fire
My first plug was a Keke driver, who I picked up from the front of my hotel on Independence Layout. His name is Arinze, but everyone calls him Terry G. Keke riding is how he makes a living, but dancing is how he wants to make a life. “Where can I get the best local food?” “Timber!” he said, excited. “They have the best Abacha in the East.” He sounded so sure, you’d know for sure it was his fave. My next stop was the National Museum. By the time the guide took me around and I asked her the same question, “where can I get the best local food,” she knew we were new in town. She dragged everyone around that she could into the conversations, and the suggestions didn’t stop coming. What to eat, where to go. The most recurring place? An Abacha place called Fire For Fire. One museum worker even offered to take us there in his car. All of Fire For Fire is one large canopy and two umbrellas, somewhere off Abakaliki road in Enugu G.R.A. It’s a blend of mismatched chairs and tables, with the magic being made at the center of it all. Several people were crammed beneath the canopies and spilling out of them. Another constant stream of people continued to come and go. Business is obviously going great for them. I’d had Abacha before, but now I know that you haven’t really had Abacha until you’ve had Enugu Abacha. Being born, raised, and currently living in Lagos, all I’ve really had is Lagos Abacha. The textures and tastes were different. The Ugba in the Abacha is fresher than any I had ever had, and I’ve had a lot. By the time I cleaned up my plate, I knew I’d never again be able to have Abacha in Lagos without longing for ‘Fire for Fire’.
Ofe Onugbu and Akpu at Mama Onyinye
If you ask ten Enugu people to recommend a food joint, eight will recommend Mama Onyinye and ten of them will ask you to try out Agbugbu. Agbugbu is a porridge made out of a kind of beans and yam, something Enugu is proud of. I headed to Mama Onyinye wanting to have Agbugbu, but by the time I got there, sold out. Why do bad things happen to good people? I settled for Akpu and Ofe Onugbu, mostly because I’d never had it before. I’d always been put off by the strong smell of fermented cassava, so I tried to go with the safer option; Eba. “If you want to enjoy Onugbu, you have to use Akpu,” Mama Onyinye insisted. Discovering the gloriousness of this Akpu is probably the highlight of my trip. The light, fluffy, and sweet aftertaste will make you keep going until you are done, even if the mound is almost the size of your head. Akpu and Onugbu is like bread and butter, like Jollof Rice and dodo.
Ofe Aku and White Rice at Ntachi Osa
Mama Onyinye might be great, but a carousel operator at the mall wasn’t so impressed. “Nobody dey cook pass Ntachi Osa,” KC argued. “Go there, buy correct Agbugbu and step down with one Coke”. And so I did, first thing the next morning, but unfortunately, the Agbugbu that KC swore will change my life, wasn’t ready. Strike two. I settled for Ofe Aku and white rice. Ofe Aku is just like Banga soup, but there was a difference in taste that I couldn’t place. “Curry”, Omesham said.That was it.
I could definitely taste a bit of curry and a healthy dose of pepper. I’m Urhobo and very loyal to Banga soup and although Ofe Aku was admittedly tasty I couldn’t get past the extra ingredients which felt off for me. Ofe Aku and White Rice is an interesting twist, but now I know I’m definitely going to try banging Banga with White Rice.
Ukwa at Open Sheraton
Before heading to Enugu I had a friend put out an open call on Twitter for people to point me in the direction of the best local food in Enugu. One response I really liked was from Lekan, who pointed me to Open Sheraton.
Checkout Celebrities just beside ShopRite Enugu, Open Sheraton in New Haven also
I had Ukwa with a side of dodo and fried yam. I tried my best but I couldn’t get past two forks in. Although it looked like beans and kind of smelled like beans, turns out Ukwa is actually made out of breadfruit. Only reason I didn’t already know this was because I promised not to Google anything I ate, just so I’d be surprised. It’s safe to say I was. I’d never had breadfruit before and I’m not sure what in the name led me to believe it was a sweet and supple fruit, maybe like a peach.
Akidi at Open Sheraton
We were already at Open Sheraton and I couldn’t for the life of me manage to stomach the Ukwa. Ukwa is not bad, it’s just not for me. So I decided to try something else off my list. Akidi was up, and it turned out to be beans, albeit black beans. The irony. I couldn’t place all the ingredients so I asked one of the food sellers. Turns out they add spinach and Ugba. By the time I finished, I knew I wanted to have it again.
Ofe Nsala and Akpu at Odi Okwu
Odi Okwu was my last food stop. Even though I was spoilt for choice, I ended up going with it. I took Odi Okwu which literally translates to “it’s fire!” as a good sign. I’d asked for Agbugbu, and it was unavailable, again. I had to ask. “It’s hard to make, and many places don’t bother making it,” the manager said. “The places that make it do so early in the morning and it’s usually finished by noon.” I’d heard my Igbo friends rave about Ofe Nsala so I was excited to try it. I paired it with my new love – Akpu. If the smell is why you haven’t had Akpu, you need to get past it and get familiar with the greatness that it is. Ofe Nsala had me asking myself why it had taken me so long to explore Igbo food. I could have been having Ofe Nsala all my life, instead I’ve been drawing Ogbono. And Ogbono is great, but it’s just not Ofe Nsala.
Ofe Oha and Akpu at Odi Okwu
Omesham had been on the lookout for Oha the whole trip. I had also never had Oha so I dug into her food too. The cook was a little heavy handed with the salt and my taste buds closed shop at the very first taste of the soup. Because I’m Urhobo I had subconsciously keyed into the Nigerian stereotype that culturally I was very similar to an Igbo person in terms of dressing, which is true, but false as regards local food. My palette wasn’t prepared for the cultural shock and it’s going to take some adjusting for it to go back to eating rice and stew in Lagos every day, right after a diverse food explosion over in such a short time. Why do all good things come to an end? When I go to sleep at night, there’ll be a bittersweet feeling at the back of my throat, because as much as I ate through the old city, canopy restaurants, and gracious Abacha, I didn’t try Agbugbu. Now, I’ll have to find someone who’s Enugu enough to make me some Agbugbu.
Over the past decade, whenever a news story on Northern Nigeria is released, it almost always features images of Boko Haram’s destruction or images highlighting poverty and extremity.
But there is so much beauty that the media just doesn’t show us and these images captured by Editi Effiòng prove that Northern Nigeria just might be the most underrated tourist location for travel lovers.
Check out some of Editi’s shots below.
The absolute beauty of Gubi Lake in Bauchi.
This perfect picture of the game trail at Yankari National Park that captured butterflies basking in the sunlight.
This picture taken underwater at the Wikki warm spring that shows it’s possible for Nigerian waters to be clean, clear and blue.
This serene shot of Wikki warm spring.
Blue sky and blue water at Gubi lake in Bauchi.
This image that beautifully captured the vegetation and mountains at Dass, Bauchi.
The picturesque landscape at Fufore, Adamawa.
The heart-stopping sunset in Bauchi.
The architecture of the 2nd Babban Gwani in history, built in 1869 for the Emir of Bauchi.
More stunning shots of Gubi Lake.
This breathtaking view.
This image that captures the true definition of untamed wild beauty.
The sky at Dass in Bauchi after a night of rainfall.
So, thinking of planning a holiday? Maybe Northern Nigeria isn’t such a bad idea.
Let’s face it, when you think – or talk about being fit, Oats become a big part of your diet. But variety is the spice of life and we wouldn’t want you to quit your fitfam diet due to boredom. Taking oats daily in form of porridge, baked goods, drinks has a wide range of health benefits.
So here are ways you can enjoy your oat-based meal:
Why have eba or pounded yam when you can have good, healthy oatmeal in swallow form? Find the recipe here.
3. Oatmeal Cookies
via Afrolems
For people with a sweet tooth, giving up cookies might be a problem. But that can easily be solved by oatmeal cookies. You can choose to limit the sugar or use a substitute like honey in this recipe and you can roll in a small amounts of your best goodies so you don’t give them up completely.
4. Oatmeal Bread
It tastes really great. I should know, I’m a fan. The bread is made with oat flour and sweetened with honey or low carb sweeteners, plus it has no dairy content whatsoever. If you’re still worried, you should know that the calorie content is 56 (when-cut-into-10-slices) and it is available for purchase here.
5. Oatmeal Bars
via vegannigerian
It’s not every morning that you’re in the mood to make oatmeal porridge from scratch – even with the wonderful invention that is the microwave. Sometimes, have an oatmeal bar or two. You can make them yourself following this recipe or you can get the store-bought ones from grocery stores in Nigeria.
6. Oatmeal Pancakes
via omnomlagos
I’m not going to beg you to try these. They’re seriously the best-tasting healthy snacks I have ever eaten. I’m not kidding. Wheat-free Lactose-free Oat Pancakes are the truth. Never mind what the name suggests. Make your own!
7. Oatmeal Cakes
via whatscookingworldwide
This rich, moist and lovely scented cereal energy bar is high in good fibers from oats and wholewheat flour and its absolutely delicious! Its a nice healthy family meal. And it doubles as energy bars when taken in small quantities. The recipe for it is here.
8. Oatmeal Smoothie
via pulse.ng
The oatmeal smoothie is rich and creamy, and it balances your love for chocolate with the need to be healthy and fit. It’s incredibly easy to make. I know what I’ll be doing tonight.
9. Oatmeal Cupcakes
via raise healthy eaters[/caption]Ever dreamed of cupcakes without a lot of sugar? These get enough sweetness from the brown sugar and banana. And you can manipulate the fruit fot your desired flavor. The possibilities are endless! Learn to make your dream cupcakes here.
10. Oats with Plain Yoghurt
via KitchenButterfly
A simple, healthy breakfast can consist of just raw oats into yogurt, topped with fruits.
I think the guys whose recipes were featured here are rockstars. And you will be too once you start your journey to fitfam and oatmeal fandom! Have a great weekend!
If you’ve ever been on a weight loss regimen that included going on a strict diet, then you know that the hardest part is always feeling hungry (Like ALWAYS). So I gathered a list of 7 foods that can all play a pretty big part in helping you feel fuller longer, and just generally keeping you healthier.
1. Oats
I honestly cannot sing the praises of Oats enough. They are seriously rich in fiber, so half a cup for breakfast can help you feel full throughout the day. It also contains Resistant Starch, a healthy carb that boosts metabolism and burns fat.
2. Brown Rice
Think of brown rice as white rice’s nice big brother. Brown rice is a low-energy-density food, meaning it’s heavy and filling, but unlike white rice is actually low in calories. It also contains Resistant Starch, which means it will help boost your metabolism and burn fat.
3. Pear
Just one pear contains a quarter of your daily recommended fiber intake; and when weight loss is your goal, fiber is basically your best friend. But don’t peel the skin, that is where all that awesome fiber is.
4. Green Tea
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Green Tea is the healthiest drink in the world. It hydrates like water, but it also contains antioxidants that will help you burn serious fat and feel fuller significantly longer.
5. Banana
A slightly unripe, medium-size banana will fill you up and boost your metabolism thanks to it’s generous helping of Resistant Starch. Even a ripe banana still contains a sufficient amount of Resistant Starch if you are craving something slightly sweeter
6. Dark Chocolates
Yes, chocolates can be great for you too. Small helpings of dark chocolate here and there can slow down digestion so you feel full longer and end up eating less. It is also full of healthy fats that can boost your metabolism to help burn fat.
7. Oranges
When most people think Oranges, all they think is Vitamin C, but they are also really rich in fiber, meaning you’ll get a nice dose of vitamin C while also feeling fuller longer, helping you eat less throughout the day.
So throw these into your diet and you won’t feel the need to snack on foods that are bad for you during the day. But remember exercise and eating healthy go hand in hand, so don’t ignore one for the other.