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12 Food Questions To Ask A Girl

What are the important questions to ask a girl about their food choices, tastes and habits before a relationship begins?

1. Ask her what kind of swallow do they love: Amala vs Pounded yam and other sorry tales.

While I personally do not have anything against both swallow meals (in fact I wouldn’t choose one over the other) people are constantly fighting over which is better, even going ahead to make crazy statements like: “amala must be banned”.

https://twitter.com/aanuadeoye/status/1220973075254194177?s=20

You wouldn’t want to get stuck with a partner who doesn’t rate your favorite swallow meal. I mean you could decide to do it, but do you really want to?

2. Ask her what goes in their cereal bowl first: The cereal or the milk?

There are two types of people on this earth, those that pour the cereal before the milk and those that pour the milk before the cereal; both never see eye to eye. Imagine waking up one day and discovering that your partner is the former? You don’t need that kind of energy. You had better ask your prospective partner this before popping the question.

3. Ask her if she eats semo:

If the girl you’re talking to eats semo, just throw them away because I don’t see why any human being should be eating food that was not meant to be eaten.

4. Ask if they prefer green apples to red apples:

There are some people that eat all kinds of apples and aren’t picky. It’s fine if you end up with them, but there are the ones that are super picky and eat only green apples. And I’m just like, WHAT? I mean, can’t you have some taste and like red apples? Sorry for you if your prospective partner is a green apple stan.

5. Ask about their weird food combinations:

If a girl you’re talking to tells you that they eat Indomie and beans or golden morn and groundnut, my dear, run for your dear life.

6. Ask what temperature they eat their food in:

You’ll find out that some people say, the colder the food, the better it is, and some others must warm every single thing they eat and would rather starve if their cereal is going to be cold.

7. Ask about their love for pepper:

I once met a girl who could eat pepper with anything. She ate pepper with crackers and I was stunned. If they love pepper, they’ll probably love pepper more than they love you.

8. Ask about their love for bread:

Because anyone that loves bread is the greatest kind of partner to have. I mean, even Oprah loves bread.

9. Ask if she loves pineapple pizza:

Pineapples are great, don’t get me wrong. But the truth is don’t really belong with pizza. Imagine it’s date night and your partner order or stops at the pizza place to buy Pizza, but they buy the pineapple pizza. Imo, top three things that could lead to a break up. Be sure to find out if they love pineapple pizza and if they do, create a system where you buy seperate packs of pizzas. Fini.

10. Ask how they pair their swallow combinations:

Simply because amala belongs to ewedu and gbegiri, the way pounded yam belongs to egusi and you belong to someone who has great taste.

11. Ask what kind of rice they love:

This is the heirachy: Jollof rice, fried rice, white rice. Every other thing can go and get their love from elsewhere.

The king of Nigerian rice.

12. Ask about their love for plantain:

The love for plantain is the beginning of wisdom.

I used the word love because no one in their right mind hates plantain. So all you need to know is what degree of love they have for plantain. You’ve chosen the right person if they can die for plantain.

These are some of the valid food questions to ask a girl. Anything about whose responsibility it is to cook (as a gender norm) is okoto meow.

Ope

January 28, 2020

Chopist
Quiz: Which Food Combination Are You and Your Partner?

Don’t get it twisted. This quiz isn’t just for the people in relationships. Look at it as predictive. You might not have a partner now, but surely, you want to know what badass food combination will match your future relationship? And even you’re boo-ed up, all the better.

For this quiz to work sha, you must answer all the questions with your full chest.

Ope

January 11, 2020

Chopist, In Your Feels, Quizzes
Quiz: Which Street Food Are You?

We have like a ton of street food in Nigeria and these street foods all have different kinds of personalities that sort of pull us or repel us. Now we’re going to take the liberty of telling you which street food you qualify as. Good vibes only, no worries.

Ope

January 4, 2020

Chopist, Quizzes
Quiz: What Kind Of Rice Matches Your Personality?

In Nigeria, the good Lord of food blessed us with rice as a staple meal. That would’ve been all well and good if we Nigerians were not extra, experimenting and creating all sorts of recipes out of rice. From the king of rice itself: Jollof rice, to bottom of the barrel, white rice, take this quiz and we’ll tell you which type of rice you are.

Ope

December 14, 2019

Chopist, Quizzes

Jollof RIce, Rice
5 Things That Have No Business Being On Cakes

Much like that fat child in the movie, Matilda, who Miss Trunchbull forced to eat a giant tray of chocolate cake in front of the entire student body, I fucking love cakes. People fight for food and meat at parties, I fight for cake. I once punched an aunt in the stomach during a light scramble for cake at a birthday party my own family was throwing.

I’m digressing.

My point is, I feel like I’ve been through enough cakes to call myself a cake connoisseur. Which is I’ve put together this list of cake toppings/decorations that are low key abominations that people have become accustomed to.

1) Cookies:

Because cakes with cookies on them are usually left out for too long before being served, leading to the cookies becoming stale and weirdly soft. No one wants to eat cookies that feel like all the crunchy-goodness has been sucked out by someone else.

2) Popcorn:

Because eww, gross. Popcorn, on its own, tastes like vaguely caramel-flavoured cardboard pieces tinged with sadness. So it doesn’t actually do anything as a cake topping. From an aesthetics POV, it’s still pointless. I mean. take another look at that cake above and see my point.

3) Dried fruits:

Dried fruits are a staple when making fruit cakes and I can’t eat fruit cakes because dried fruits are disgusting AF. The texture is hella weird (thick and chewy) and they’re usually too many of them. I CAN NOT EVEN.

4) Wafers:

Same complaint as cookies. They’re left out for too long and become too soft.

5) Tiny people:

All I want to do is go to a wedding and eat cake without disrupting the proceedings because I ended up choking on the tiny plastic people at the top of the cake and someone had to call an ambulance. Make them edible, dammit! This also goes for flower decorations on cakes.

Astor George

November 18, 2019

Chopist

cake, toppings
Ranked! Nigerian Snacks

Having something to it eat between meals can be great especially when they are sweet edibles that can sustain you for a while.

Plaintain chips, popcorn, sausage roll and more are some of the most popular food to snack on, but there are some unique local Nigerian snacks that are just as great–even better than them. So, I decided to rank these local snacks, from my least favourite to my favourite.

9) Kulikuli:

It is made from a mix of peanuts, spices, salt and ground pepper. Kulikuli is one of the most popular Nothern Nigerian snack and it is mostly eaten alone or with garri; it also used as an ingredient for suya and kilishi.

However, considering the fact that many local food merchants who make it are known to roll the paste between their unwashed bare hands in the process of making it, I get highly skeptical of the hygienic conditions of where it is made and would rather go without.

8) Cocoyam chips:

This is a poor substitute to plaintain, coconut and sweet potato chips because it is tasteless. It looks really good and smells nice too but it is simply tasteless; although, you can train your tatsebuds to love it eventually.

7) Coconut candy:

This snack is made with shreds of coconut and sugar, fried in oil. This sweet delicacy can be eaten alone, drank with garri, or dipped in honey–if you have a sweet tooth.

Unless you make it yourself, I’d advice you not to buy it anywhere else, except you buy it fresh off the fire, because most street coconut candies are congealed and disgusting; usually because the vendors refry old stock, trying to pawn it off on unassuming costumers.

6) Dankwa:

Also called tanfiri, this local snack is made from corn and groundnut paste. It usually has a slight spicy taste and a melt-in-your-mouth feel. But, one has to carefully select the vendor that sells this snack so you don’t end up buying a stale one that tastes like dust; that is something nobody should experience, trust me.

5) Roasted yam:

Roasted yam is great with a side dish of sauce, ponmo, fish, meat, chicken and other thing you want to throw in there. Roasted yam is bae.

4) Abacha (African Salad):

This is just a sublime meal. Yes, I know it’s more of a meal than a snack but it had to make this list because of its unique taste. Abacha can take some getting used to on the tastebuds but one gets hooked once it does, indulging more often than not. This Eastern Nigerian delicacy is made with shredded cassava, vegetables, onions, dried fish, ponmo and more.

3) Corn:

Roasted or boiled corn are a staple snack in Nigeria, when corn is in season. One can eat it with coconut to bring out the flavour. Although, eating too much corn can leave you feeling parched and in need of water.

2) Tiger nuts:

Both the fresh and dry ones are sweet edibles that have a chewy texture and creamy taste. Although the fresh Tiger nuts are seasonal, you can get the dry ones at almost anytime and the health benefits are really great.

Roasted plantain is one of the best things to snack on when you are on the move and just need something to fill you up before your next meal. It is a great substitute to gala and buns; it costs the same but is way healthier–it’s fresh and straight off the coal. One can eat it alone or with groundnut, palm oil, sauce and more.

Which of these is your favourite snack?

Gabriella Opara

November 7, 2019

Chopist

Nigerian Food, snacks
5 Must-Have Food Items For University Students In Nigeria

Leaving home for university can be fun until you get hit with the realization that you are really alone, even when you are actually never alone. Then it dawns on you that the stress of getting an education might not be worth it, particularly when you consider the adulting that it requires which includes, COOKING YOUR OWN MEAL.

If you are the kind of person who would rather starve than go into the kitchen to cook at all–aren’t we all though? Then your lazy bones will totally relate to these food items that have been making life easy for students since, forever!

1) Garri:

This just had to top the list, I considered making it last but nah. Garri is bae and it goes with anything, well almost anything. You can eat it (dry), drink it, make eba with it and fry it–if you’re adventurous enough.

2) Indomie:

I know its proper name is noodles; the Japanese call it ramen but Nigerians just call it Indomie, for some reason every noodles is Indomie and we can’t stop calling it that. And this food item is a no brainer and a fave because it is fast to cook.

It can be eaten raw, YASS. It can be cooked in different ways, with different condiments but if suffer head is catching you, just put it into hot water, and eat it like that when it’s cooked.

3) Beans:

Ha, this is the king of all. It is sweet and nutritious. It is usually cooked when there is no money because that’s the only reason someone will wait for five hours for it to get cooked o!

If the allowee situation is really dire, consider adding a drum of water in it, it will be sure to last you a while that way. No worries of eating too much of it though, it regulates itself–or you, more like.

4) Bread:

This is sometimes a luxury food item in school but it remains essential. Bread combos are always nice; bread and tea, bread and akara, bread and beans, bread and butter, bread and fish, bread and groundnut, bread and water or bread and coke–some people actually pour the bread into the coke.

Bread is really great when you are on a tight budget, it seems to rise in your stomach, keeping you sustained all day long.

5) Rice:

Because, who is a Nigerian without rice? White rice, fried rice, jollof rice, concoction rice, improptu rice, atagungun rice–all join to sustain your diet.

Which of these is your favourite?

Gabriella Opara

October 24, 2019

Chopist

Food, Life, list, student life, University
Five Meals To Try In Benin Republic

Benin Republic is one of the closest to the sister from another mother that Nigeria has. Even though it’s official language is French and ours is English, there remains a strong connection that even the language barrier can’t break.

The bond is so strong, even our culture, Pidgin English, and food are similar! Don’t believe me? Just try these meals when you visit Benin and you’d know.

Igname Pile:

This swallow dish is so similar to Pounded Yam even Google sometimes shows results of the latter when you search for Igname Pile. It’s just as white and tasty. Perhaps even tastier.

Pate la maize:

Think of Tuwo and you’ve got an idea of how this tastes like.

Pate de manoic:

This is really similar to lafun, white amala. It goes with basically any soup you can think of.

Massa:

This is basically a pancake meal, with millet flour and rice mixed in the dough being the only difference.

Tapioca:

This is a pudding made from tapioca seeds. It’s basically a staple breakfast meal. Add in sugar and milk to it and you’re good to go. Think oatmeal or maybe ogi and you’ve got an idea. It’s actually really amazing.

Gabriella Opara

September 27, 2019

Chopist

Benin Republic, Food
Algae in My Food? Yuck!

There I was, minding my damn business, watching television to catch up on the news I might have missed during the day when I heard, “Algae is used in medicine, food, body lotion…”

You mean gutter water? Yes, biologist in the building, I know it’s an aquatic plant and yada yada but still-gutter water. How am I’m supposed to be fine with that?

All I see when I think of algae is that green, slimy looking, yucky stuff in gutters. That one that is the evil step-sister of the water lilies. That one that makes me cringe when I think of putting my feet into the water that it lives on.

If I can’t even put my feet in water that has algae in it, how dare anyone tell me that I actually drink it as yogurt or eat it as meat? I should have listened when I was told to stop eating processed food.

I’m still tryna wrap my head around the fact that snail slime is a constant active ingredient in most body products and now I have to cope with algae in my cooking oil, body cream, drink and cereals?

But it’s true sha. If there’s one ridiculous thing I learned yesterday, it’s the fact that algae is actually good. Apparently, algae are used in the food industry as food supplements and an addition to functional food. Algae are also added to meat products, such as pasty, steaks, frankfurters and sausages, as well as to fish, fish products, and oils, to improve their quality. With 60 percent of algae made up of protein, scientists say that it is full of health benefits

Gabriella Opara

September 25, 2019

Chopist

Algae, Food, Healthy, Yuck
Best Places For Late Night Eats In Lagos

Even with its booming restaurant scene, getting good food in Lagos is a struggle. Mostly because Lagosians tend to focus on aesthetics more than giving quality service but that’s an article for another day.

So getting good food in Lagos is a struggle, but even getting any food at all past 10 pm, damn near impossible, especially if you live on the Mainland. For a city that never sleeps, it’s surprising that there are so few late-night food options. But there are at least some options that will keep the hunger pangs at bay till morning, and won’t give you food poisoning.

Olaiya

109 Akerele Street, Surulere
Closes: 11:00 pm

I don’t know what heaven might look like to you, but any place I can get Amala 24/7 comes pretty close. You can’t get that with Olaiya but I’m pretty content with being able to walk in and by Amala at 10:30 pm. And if you are about to ask why anyone would be eating Amala at 10:30 pm, this is where I tell you to mind your business.
Even though their official closing time is 11:00 pm, on very busy days like Friday nights they can be open till about midnight.

The Place

Admiralty Way, Lekki Phase One
45 Isaac John Street, Ikeja GRA, Ikeja
Open 24 hours

The only place (no pun intended) with the most to offer in terms of variety on this list has to be the place. Not all of their outlets are open round the clock but I’m a hundred per cent certain their outlets at Lekki Phase and Ikeja GRA are open 24/7. I like how at least one outlet on both the Mainland and Island offer this service. Representation matters guys.

Midnight City

Online service
Open from 9:00 pm to 4:00 am

The whole point of Midnight City is to cater to Lagosians looking for late-night eats. That’s why they don’t even bother opening till 9:00 pm. Even though they have an address listed online, I only know them to be an online service. The great thing about them is that everything from Burgers to rice is on their menu. The downside though is that they only operate on the Island.

Drinking game idea: Take a shot every time you try to engage a service and they tell you they only deliver on the island.

Urban Fuxion

Food truck
Monday – Thursday: 11:00 am to 11:00 pm
Friday & Saturday: 11:00 am to 5:00 am

I’m such a huge fan of Urban Fuxion and if you’ve been reading these Chopist articles you’d know that. Urban Fuxion is perfect for those hazy nights when you stumble out of a club with way too much alcohol in your system and not enough food in your stomach. They are a food truck, so they are not always in one place, but you can find their schedule here.

Domino’s

Some outlets stay open till 12 am

It’s very interesting that I didn’t know this about Domino’s until I started researching for this article. Domino’s might not be my top 3 favourite pizza places, in fact, it’s not even in my top 10 but the fact that there is an outlet in almost every street and corner is beyond convenient. They’ve also changed the game with their new smallie pizza, which means you are not stuck having to buy a whole box of pizza when you are feeling peckish at 11:00 pm. You can find out when the Domino’s near you closes here.

Road Chef

Admiralty Way, Lekki Phase 1
4 Ologun Agbaje Victoria Island
Open 24 hours

Given that the phrase ‘best places’ is literally in the title of this article, I was torn about including Road Ched on this list. The first and only time I ate at Road Chef I got severe food poisoning. However it was one time, and I’ve never seen anyone else complain so I guess the odds of it happening to you are slim enough to risk it when you find yourself hungry at 3:00 am. I’d stay away from their RoadChef classic with cheese though.

Prime Chinese

860A Bishop Aboyade Cole St, Victoria Island
Open 24 hours

Prime Chinese is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They also deliver round the clock and delivery is free. Which is why I’m so bitter that they are only available on the Island. Even though delivery is free, they do have a 4,000 naira minimum spend for deliveries which you’d barely notice if you are ordering with a group of friends.

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

August 9, 2019

Chopist