Aluta and Chill | Page 26 of 28

The Struggles Every Nigerian Student Will Understand About Getting Up For an 8 AM Lecture

You would think that getting into the university or any other tertiary institution, really means you’re about to have the wildest time of your life. This may be true, depending on your energy and the company you keep. However, the school system, in some ways, is designed to take your life (not literally), and you would understand this if you have to or have had to go for early morning classes – usually 8 AM. It’s actually really hard to keep up with them, especially considering the fact that you never go to bed as early as you should.

You will relate to this if you’ve ever had to deal with the evils of 8 A.M classes:

You set about 5 different alarms because when is one ever enough?

Your 8 A.M classes make you doubt the control you have over important things such as sleep. You want to get to your class as early as you can, but your relationship with sleep is a hurdle you have to cross. This is where the alarm comes in; you try to be proactive and set up different alarms, usually 10-20 minutes apart to avoid stories that touch.

When you wake up sometime and realise that you still have some time

Nothing gives you greater joy than when you wake up sometime in the earliest hours of the morning and realise that you still have some more time to bury yourself deep inside the covers. The time you have left is not that much, but you will take it. You will take anything.

The irritation that hits when the first alarm goes off

Now, it’s 6 A.M – time to get up, but you just got to the sweetest part of your sleep. It’s funny, but at that moment, you wonder why you set up the alarm in the first place. You fall into the “I have more time” trap and turn on your side to another part of the bed.

You do a mental analysis of everything you stand to lose

The thing is you can’t go off to actual sleep anymore. All you now do as you toss from one side to the other is to try to decipher if you really have more time or if you are just setting yourself to fail. Or if you should just forget about going to class totally; you only need 75 % attendance anyway.

You hit the snooze again and will the alarm not to go off anymore

You are in doubt now, and if anything, that should be enough reason for you to get up. But no, not today. The alarm goes off again and you let your forefinger or thumb do the work and you slide to snooze.

At this point, your fingers are literally wrapped around your phone, waiting for the next time you will have to slide and snooze.

You eventually open your eyes wide enough to see the amount of light in your room

When your bed sorts of releases its hold on you, you realise how much time you’ve lost playing dead. The first pointer to that fact is the streak of light that filters into your room. You dreamily check the time and it’s 7:30 AM.

The rampage that follows

Finally, you have a reason to jump out of bed. The following minutes are usually a blur because you will work yourself into a frenzy to make up for the lost time. You might get lucky and get to your lecture room just in time. Or not. If the universe is really out to get you; your lecturer could be in a bad mood, refuse you entry, and give the early beds a test.

You promise yourself not to take such risks anymore, but that’s a promise you’re going to break sometime. It’s a cycle you can’t end.

Toheeb Lanlehin

November 6, 2019

Campus
Four Stages of University Relationships

Your parents had a lot to tell you when you were going off to the university, but the one thing they kept hammering on was the need for you to face your academics squarely and not allow some boy or girl to make you lose focus. Deep inside you were like LOL. You had a lot of exploring to do, and you would be damned if you let your parents, who wouldn’t be there, by the way, stop you. You were on a mission to meet the love of your life.

And yes, you tried to do that. But most of them followed a pattern, something like this:

The Introduction

The universe brought you together; that was the only way to explain it. You didn’t understand how, but the readings were off the charts. Contact was made and numbers were exchanged. Subsequently, there were lots of late-night calls and texts, evening walks, and a load of spontaneous stuff.

The Honeymoon

You had gone out a couple of times, and every date had been near perfect. You were almost inseparable now. Your friends knew you were a thing already, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Doses of Reality

You had your first fight. You made up. The second one happened, you made up still. But things were not as smooth as they used to be. You were always at each other’s throat now, finding faults in almost everything. You tried to work things out every time, but the routine was becoming way tiresome. You wondered what the attraction was in the first place. Slowly, you began to realise how much you’d played yourselves.

The Big Fall-Out

It turned out that the fights you had earlier were preparing you for the big one. This was the grand finale; the sum total of every shit you’d made each other go through. You decided to talk it out like the adults you were. By the end of the conversation, the words were said: “I think you are amazing, but we need to take a break”

And that was it. Hearts were broken. Your parents were right. But hey, it was fun while it lasted, and so did the others.

Toheeb Lanlehin

October 22, 2019

Campus
Six Things Only Class Reps Will Understand

Class representatives are important to lecturers and students. For the lecturers, this role and the person taking it solves most of the problem associated with managing the sheer number of people taking their courses. For the students, they could really use someone to submit their assignments and take the fall for anything that happens.

It might seem like a good gig to you, and it is – but as they say, it is not a bed of rose. If you currently take this post or have taken it, you will understand this:

Most of the contacts on your phone are not your friends

You become a property everybody owns the moment you take the class rep post. This means you need to have everyone’s number to add them to the WhatsApp group. it may not seem like a big deal at first, but it hits when you need some help and you realise that 80 % of the numbers on your phone are people you don’t really have a relationship with.

When everyone treats you like you’re the enemy

You are the errand boy – the messenger – but when the lecturer do some shit like giving an impromptu test or bringing the assignment deadline up to a closer date, everybody turns their anger on you like you had anything to do with it. Sucks.

When you realise that the lecturer thinks you are available at all time

You have to deal with your class, but you also have to deal with the lecturer, and that includes having to be at their beck and call. You are on a service to humanity level, so you can’t escape this.

The accusations (sometimes abuse) you get when someone didn’t get an information

Do university students like to have someone to blame? And you are an easy target. So, you get all the blame when a member of your class doesn’t get a memo. It doesn’t that matter that you passed the message across all the channels the class uses.

You wish your phone would stop blowing up

The life of a class rep is chaotic at best. Your phone has to be on at all times, and the frequent buzz is enough to make anyone run mad. But you can’t. You have a job to do.

You still have to study for exams like everyone else

Everyone in your department might know you, but that is not enough to pass you. You still gotta get down to studying. And this is a big challenge because you hardly get the time to do this.

Toheeb Lanlehin

October 15, 2019

Campus, General

Representatives, students
All The Times Group Assignments Proved To Be University’s Agenda Against You

When the lecturer pairs you with people you don’t talk to

It stings more if two or more of your friends are in the same group.

When the group leader starts collecting phone numbers

You know what is coming; endless calls and texts.

When you get the “you’ve been added to a group” WhatsApp notification

It’s happening. You flirt with the “report as spam” and “leave group” ideas, but your grades.

When you see other groups working their asses off, but your group is still figuring out the best direction

You’ve had only one brief meeting, actually. Well, that sounds like the group leader’s problem.

When the group leader schedule a meeting for the weekend

Like don’t you have a life?

When you realise that you have to cough more money than you’d planned

You are not expecting money from home until the end of the month. Hello, brokeness. Well played, universe.

When it’s almost deadline and your group is nowhere close to being done

You couldn’t care less until you remember where your CGPA stands. Or maybe it wouldn’t be much problem; you only need to get 60 out of 70 in the exam now. Leemao.

When someone you didn’t see at any of the meetings show up for the presentation

Oh wait, a few extra bucks meant you wouldn’t have dealt with any of this? Who knew?

Toheeb Lanlehin

October 8, 2019

Campus

assignment, Group project, student
Seven People You Are Bound To Meet On A Nigerian Campus

The University and other tertiary institution campuses are the melting point of all sorts of experience. At the forefront are the people in their different elements. You can try and escape some, but there are others you can’t miss. The list is exhaustive, but here are some of them:

The Wannabe Politicians

No worries if it took you some time to realise that your campus mirrors the country in many ways. At the helm are the students politicians. You might have campaigned for them or belonged to one of their many WhatsApp groups when you were fresh, but by the end of your second year, you’d realised how identical they are with the ones you’ve known all your life.

The Religious-Centric Folks

If you are like me and you’ve tried to count the numbers of fellowships in your school, there is a chance that you gave up mid-way. It is not all about the fellowships, but the people — they are usually on the hunt for new members. They are reminiscent of the Jehovah Witness guys your parents liked to avoid when you were younger. The thing is you are not quite sure how to deal with them – on one hand, they are calling you to God (heh), but again, they can be really unrelenting. They could stop you at times when it is not convenient for you to talk, or knock on your doors during periods you aren’t intent on receiving anyone.

The Hall-Porters AKA Monitoring Spirits

One of the downsides of living in a school-managed hall of residence is the presence of the porters. This shouldn’t be a big deal, but some of them are the absolutely worst; bent on making your life miserable. They are always watching closely, waiting for you to slip and make mistakes so they can fully ease into their element, threatening you with eviction and other forms of sanctions.

At the same time, some of them can be pretty chill, especially if you grease their palms with something.

The C-T-Y Squad

For many male students who have been in the school system for some time, the beginning of every session means it is time to scout for new babes, and their targets are usually the fresh female students. You will see them prowl fresh students-congested areas. They have a mission, and they will do anything to get that number and everything that comes after it.

The Attendance-Obsessed Lecturers

They really care about numbers. Their first mission at every lecture is to pass the attendance register around. The extra ones will closely monitor the sheet of paper as it is being passed to make sure no one is signing in proxy

And oh, God help everyone if the class is not filled up as they would like – that means one thing—impromptu tests.

Miss-Me-With-This-Lecture-Thing

These are the reasons lecturers are extra with the attendance thing. The only times you are sure to see them is during course registrations, tests, and exams. A few sporadic appearances on some days, and that’s it.

Hey, Look at me, I’m brilliant

You don’t have to lie; these people lowkey make you rethink your desire to get a education – like why do you even bother? They have all the answers and will engage or debate topics with the lecturer effortlessly. You, on the other hand, can only contribute blank stares and occasional nods. Pele.

Toheeb Lanlehin

October 8, 2019

Campus

campus
All The Different Types Of Roommates in A School Hostel

When you got admission into university, you were excited about a whole new life. You were ready to revel in a new kind of freedom, away from your parents and the annoying curfews and rules they set to curtail your movements. You thought about a lot of things: what to do, when to do it, how to have the most kind of fun in your new life without anyone overshadowing your movements or moments.

You thought about your prospective roommate(s) too, but you didn’t give them much thought. How bad could it be? Who could be as horrible as the sibling you shared your room with? If only you had known that there was horrible and there was horrible. Once the life started, you started to amass stories because of these people, these roommates and their varying behaviours:

The Annoying Cleaner

You always thought you were clean enough. Growing up, you always heard that cleanliness was next to Godliness. You had that shit on lock – or so you thought until you met your roommate, and started to wonder if they were overdoing it, or you were only not as clean as you thought. At first, you couldn’t care less, so you watched in amusement when they complained about a sock on the floor, or plates you hadn’t washed in days.

Then, it got real. You started to lose your stuff. At first, you thought you were tripping and blamed it on your forgetfulness. But it was happening way too much. You couldn’t be that forgetful. You did a little digging and found out your roommate had been moving your stuff because they thought they were what? Trash!!!

“How dare you call my #500 recharge card trash because it was on the floor? Stay in your lane, puhlease!”

You learned your lesson, though. Anything you needed was kept out of plain sight. Life could be easier, but you had to adapt.

The Irritating Slob

You probably thought your “please-this-place-could-be-cleaner-roommate” was the worst kind of person you would have to deal with. Heh! It was only a matter of time before you realised how wrong you were. You changed rooms and was prepared to settle into a new life. Your new roommate wasn’t overbearing as the last one. They didn’t trouble you over the littlest things. Ha, life was getting better.

Then you started to notice a strange pattern; how the room would not be swept for days at a time if you didn’t do it. How making the bed in the morning was not a concept your new roommate was comfortable with. How your new roommate was not a fan of washing the dishes they used until weeks or months had passed. How their shoes were strewn around in the room, and their clothes were in a heap in a corner waiting to be attended to. And the worst of all, how they were so comfortable in the mess they lived in – thriving even.

You realised what a fast life this was, because now, you were the irritable, overbearing one who needed to take things easier.

The Turn-up Freak

At this point, you thought about living alone, but it wasn’t up to you. Your account balance said no, so you forged on, ready for whatever came next. Again, you thought the worst had passed.

You met your new roommate, and they seemed okay. You even had a honeymoon phase when everything was perfect. The new roommate was outgoing but it didn’t bother you. Soon, it became your problem. They started keeping late-nights or early-mornings, disrupting whatever you thought was fun during these moments e.g sleep. They had lost their key too, so you had to be the designated, irritated, and unpaid doorkeeper. Again, you stayed because you didn’t have a choice. That too shall pass you said to yourself.

The Roommate Without A Leash

At this point, you had given up. You were ready to face anything. You switched roommates again, and in came the new one. You knew something was off immediately you saw them. Their “over-friendliness” signaled an ominous feeling. You would find out soon enough. It started from borrowing little things you didn’t care about like your pen or something.

Then, your clothes, shoes, and every other thing you cared about stopped being yours. All your talk about respecting boundaries fell into the void.
You weren’t your own person, anymore. They owned you.

Your Twin Personality

Now, your spirit had been broken. You were going to have another roommate. You knew what to expect now; something about them would make your life miserable. Well, if that was it, it was it. You were only a pawn in the game. Things started smoothly, but you started to count down to when things would go horribly wrong.

Nothing happened. Not in the first week, second, or third. Nor in the first month, second, or third month. You started to let yourself believe that nothing would go wrong, and for the most part, you were right!
It took some time, but you found a match. One experience you could reminisce about without a dry taste hanging in your throat.

Toheeb Lanlehin

September 25, 2019

Campus

Aluta, campus, freedom, hostel, roommate, University
“When I Saw The Exam Questions, I Started Crying”

“I’ve hated exams since I was a child. Studying Law just made the hate a whole lot deeper. All my courses are 4 units so I know if I fail, I’m finished. When I sit in the exam hall, it seems like everything just goes away and I’m in a blank slate until I get myself again.”

“One time in 100-level, I looked at the questions and assumed I didn’t know anyone so I started crying. Nobody saw me, and I just cried for a long time. When I was tired, I stopped and did the exam, I didn’t fail.”

“The most dramatic thing I did during exams was when I wanted to write Contract Law. I sat in my room on the day of the exams and started crying. But that wasn’t enough, so I broke my chain. But even that wasn’t enough, so I cut my hair for the first time since I was a child. When I got into the exam hall, I cried some more, and then I wrote my exam. I didn’t fail.”

Segun Akande

May 15, 2019

Aluta and Chill

Anxiety, Exams, Nigerian student, Unilag
“I Wrote JAMB again after NYSC”
“I cannot remember when I decided it was medicine or nothing else. I got admission to study medicine at the University of Benin twice but Uniben was not accredited so I couldn’t study it. Losing that admission twice before I finally settled for Biochemistry didn’t deter me from my goal.”

“The stress, pains and disappointment that came with Biochemistry didn’t deter me from my goal either. When I was done and I said I wanted to go back to school, I had little or no support. Frankly, I don’t know why I kept on pushing but I’m glad I did.”

“I wrote UTME twice after NYSC and four times in a total. Today, I don’t have just my Medicine degree but the support of my family and friends as well as some really good grades. Some days it’s hard, especially when your secondary school mates keep on sending you their Wedding IVs and your present university classmates are not even as old as your youngest sister.”

“But then I remember this has always been what I wanted and the inner peace I get doing this. I truly believe this is my calling. All that makes up for whatever sadness or momentary depression I may find myself in from time to time.”
- Anon. University of Medical Sciences, Ondo State.
Segun Akande

May 14, 2019

Aluta and Chill

Aluta And Chill, Course Code, medicine, University of Benin
“School lasts four years, after that you can do whatever you want…”
“I lost my dad in 2002, it’s been hard for me since then. I struggled to make it into school and now my motto is simple: “School lasts 4 years, after that, you can do what you want.”

“That’s why I’m super focused. I’m trying my best to graduate with the best grade I can. Another thing that drives me is my hatred for ignorance. I read everything, on every topic. I don’t care if it’s not related to what I’m studying, I’ll read it. Because I hate being left out of conversations and I believe knowledge is key to solving every problem.”

“So people might not understand why I’m so ‘serious’ but I have so much to prove and I hope I do.”
- Bassey, University of Lagos.
Segun Akande

May 13, 2019

Aluta and Chill

Aluta And Chill, Course Code, University of Lagos
“What If This Thing Doesn’t Pay Off?”

“I’m a Medical student with a focus on Dental surgery. I’m also obsessed with programming and deep learning; self-taught. My classmates are always like, “why are you wasting your time being a medical student,” but they don’t get it. They don’t get it because we don’t do a lot of intersectional sciences here.

I’m especially interested in Cyber Medicine, Oncology, and figuring out ways to get healthcare to the most remote places without moving doctors.

I’m going to be done with school this year but to be honest, I’m still scared of what’s coming next. There are companies already showing interest in hiring me to come work with them.

But sometimes I still ask myself questions like, what if all these companies disappear when I leave school? What if this whole learning to become a programmer doesn’t pay off and I should have just focused on becoming a Dentist?”

– Stephen, University of Benin

Fu’ad Lawal

May 3, 2019

Aluta and Chill

Aluta And Chill, Course Code, University of Benin