Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.

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The subject of this episode is Bisi Kuti, currently in his final year at Ladoke Akintola University of Technology. He talks about his anxiety and how he made the big decision to take a break and focus on the thing that gives him control – music.

Tell me about how you got into school?

In 2011, I got admitted into the one-year pre-degree program; this was my gateway into LAUTECH. Subsequently, I applied for animal production and health, but I didn’t get it. Somehow, they thought agricultural engineering was the best fit for me. But I knew from the start that it wasn’t going to work. 

Why did you feel that way?

For starters, calculations stress me out. So, I felt like I was always going to be at a disadvantage if I stuck with it. My grades were in shambles after my first year; that was the sign I needed.

What did you do?

After a year of torture at agricultural engineering, I applied to transfer to crop production and soil science.

Did you feel at home there?

Only partly. It was a little bit better, but it was also more stressful. There was a lot of farmwork and other practicals. These weren’t much of a hassle because I liked it better there. However, switching departments wasn’t enough to mitigate my anxiety about school.

Wait. When did the anxiety start?

From day one, man. I’ve always hated going to places filled with people. I won’t even lie, socialising freaks me out. Even when I visit people, the restlessness starts to kick in after 15 minutes. Now, imagine spending the minimum of an hour in classes full of students,  especially since I can’t up and leave whenever I want to. 

Do you think the school itself contributed to that?

Uhm, I don’t know. I feel like it would be the same thing if I was in another school.

What I can say about this is that the sheer number of students in my class could have been a contributing factor. We are about 300 students, but sometimes, we have lectures together with other departments in the faculty. The numbers rise up to more than a thousand on a good day. I was never built for that. The thought of going to class alone triggered my anxiety. The hours I spent in lecture rooms were hardly productive too; I was always so fixated on getting myself together and avoiding totally freaking out. That meant a lot of private studying to catch up.

When you first noticed the anxiety, how did you handle it?

I tried as much as possible to isolate myself from the rest of the world whenever I could. I didn’t feel anxious when I was in my shell, so I retreated to it as often as I could. Eventually, I started going to class only when I absolutely needed to. I know you’re going to ask if it affected my grades; yes it did. I was really going through it. Also, there were lots of strikes and with everything, my disillusionment about school kept building. 

The only thing that made my life bearable was music. And at the beginning of my third year, I just thought to take a break from school and focus on music.

Whoa! Seriously?

I’ve been making music for as long as I can remember. It was the primary focus for some time, but when it was time for university, I pushed it to the background. However, seeing as university wasn’t really working out for me, I just went back to it. 

When you said you took a break from school, did you mean a total break?

A total break. 

That sounds like a big decision. Was there a process to how you made it?

Not exactly. It wasn’t like I made a decision on the spot. It started with me limiting the frequency with which I attended class. I did this for a while until I just stopped going altogether. I would have loved to balance the two, but it wasn’t working out

How long did you spend away from school?

Two years, to my parent’s chagrin. I understand why they would be upset about that, but I had to do what was best for me. I was paying tuition, though. I only wasn’t attending classes or writing my tests or exams.

So how did the break go?

I put academics on pause in 2016. Of course, music is money-intensive and fortunately, I was making some money from my investments in cryptocurrency. I pumped that into my music, creating as much content as I can and giving them a massive push. I made my first EP in the same year. 

How did it do?

In retrospect, it wasn’t as successful as I would have liked, but it got over 1000 plays in the first month. That was huge for me at the time. It was enough to keep me going.

Fair enough.

The momentum was there, so I continued riding. I made the second EP in 2017. Of course, it did better and got more buzz. I got more than 12000 plays on that one. It was also the one that really got me out there. It didn’t make sense to stop there, so I continued.

The third EP was in 2018, and naturally, it was the biggest of the three. It’s got over 62000 plays and counting. I also made two videos off it. I have more than 260000 plays on all the stuff I’ve put out recently. It’s great.

Did you encounter any difficulties? 

It was a rollercoaster, man. I used to record at my producer’s house, so I was there most of the time. We would start recording as early as 6  AM and keep at it until nightfall. That was the routine. The third mixtape was the hardest to make. It took more than 8 months to complete the project. I can’t complain, though; it was the one that banged the most. 

So, while I was confused and lost on one hand, on the other hand, it opened me to how creative I can be. However, a lot of people close to me didn’t get what it was about – that it was a mission to be in control. I felt like I was in control of my life for those two years. But it had to end and I had to go back to school.

Why did you decide to go back?

Making music was great and all, but I needed the degree. Besides, it didn’t make sense to start a big commitment such as school and leave it when you’re almost done. In 2018, I went back, re-registered my courses and became a student of LAUTECH again. It was really hard, though. The anxiety was still there.  And the system was still as fucked-up. 

I’m in my final year now. I have a couple of months left and my eyes are set on the finish line.

Sounds good. 

There is a little bit of a problem. After I transferred departments, no one knew where to find the exams I wrote in the previous department. So now, I have a couple of ‘Awaiting Results’, which is what happens when they can’t find your papers. I’ve made lots of rounds to the department to complain and even search for them myself. I found some, but I’m still waiting on the others.  I’m just here, hoping that they find them miraculously. 

What happens if they don’t find them?

I will have to rewrite the exams. I’m not ready to even think about that. I just hope that they will find them.

I guess fingers are crossed on that. How was it like combining music with academics when you went back?

I pushed music to the background again. Not that I stopped totally, but I didn’t spend so much time on it. And oh, in that time, I took up and got serious with freelance photography. That sort of filled the void.

Now, what do you hope to get out of school and your music in the long run?

I’ve been done with school for some time now. I just want my degree, man. On the music front, I hope to churn out more great content, and who knows what might happen in five years?  Maybe I will be selling out the O2 Arena by that time. Let’s leave it at that.

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Are you currently studying in Nigeria or elsewhere and do you have a story to share about your life in school? Hit me up on toheeb@bigcabal.com. I would love to talk to you. Cheers!

Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill? Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.

Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.

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Today’s subject is Oluchi Buchi-Njere, a 400 level student of Medicine and Surgery University of Lagos. She shares what it means to be a medical student, the stereotypes she is expected to conform to, and how she’s breaking away from that cycle.

When did you know it was going to be medicine for you?

To be honest, it always felt natural for me to study medicine. The idea had always appealed to me even when I didn’t know what it meant. When it was time to make a conscious decision, I did a ton of research to find out what I needed to know. Not to toot any horn or anything, but I’d never been a bad student – and that reinforced the idea that I should go to medical school. I went after it, and I got it.

Mad. Nothing about the research you made scared you?

Many people expect med students to be originally deterred by the numbers of years attached to it, but I didn’t care about that. I was just raring to go, you know? Maybe I should have thought more about the years because my mates are on their NYSC now. It’s powerful what excitement can do to you. 

What really worried and challenged me was how people described the medical school as a pressure cooker —  that kind of place where you get stuck in an enervating academic routine that threatens to run you down. But again, the eyes were on the prize, so here we are. 

Why Unilag? 

I had no interest in studying anywhere after Lagos. Everywhere else seems boring. Stuff happens in Unilag. That’s pretty much it. The application process almost went sideways, though.

What happened?

I applied in 2016, and that was the year UNILAG removed a shitload of prospective students from their lists and randomly transferred them to other schools. I think the directive came from JAMB. That was upsetting because it affected me, and as I said, I didn’t think any other university would be a good fit for me. They eventually fixed it, but it was a big scare. I got in, started a new life, albeit temporary, on the main campus, then transferred to med school in 200 level.

When you transferred to med school in your second year, did you find all the ‘pressure cooker’ talk to be true? 

Heh. I’d confirmed that to be true even before med school. In 100 level, I got a lot of advice on how to stay on top of my game to make the selection for med school and what to do to remain there. I would say all the advice came from a good place, and of course, they helped. But then, there is this idea that you have to study all the time – and that was the bulk of the orientation content. It’s become a stereotype, really, that if you want to survive med school, every bit of your time has to be devoted to schoolwork. I knew what I was in for and I knew that I had to do the work, but I reasoned that there had to be more for me

What did that mean for you?

When I first got here, I hadn’t fully understood the extent of the things I could do, but I just wanted to do more than just school. It was going to be a big change because my life had always revolved around school, but I needed to make that change.

And I guess you did.

Yup. I saw an advertisement to join the editorial board of the Association of Medical Students, University of Lagos. That was the first definite step I took to get out of my comfort zone and break away from the life everyone expects me to live. The application process was really interesting and every step of it fueled my excitement. Of course, I got in. 

What do you do there?

As a board, we produce the association’s annual digest and run a science conference every year. Personally, I do a lot of stuff tailored to my strengths, especially in proofreading and editing. I’ve spent about four years as a part of the editorial board now and it’s opened me to new possibilities on what I can do, particularly in medical research, which I’m actually considering as a career path now. It’s done wonders for my sense of responsibility. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made.

That sounds really cool.

It is. I could have stopped there because the editorial board takes a major chunk of my time, but I knew there was still more to do. This time, I joined an NGO.

Tell me about that?

The name is The Neo Child Initiative. I joined in 2018. We work with children, with a focus on health and mentorship. We do a lot of outreach and other health education stuff. Fun fact: we tried to break the world record on the ‘Largest Handwashing Lesson’ on the Global Handwashing Day. We got over 2000 children together to teach them the process of handwashing. It’s funny, but not a lot of people know that there is a specific process to handwashing.

There is?

Haha, yes. There are steps to it. Even I need to remind myself sometimes to do it.

So yes, we do all these health stuff on one hand. On the other hand, we’re teaching older children about the SDGs and how to be changemakers, and how to set goals among other things. I’m very big on goal-setting, so this one excites me as I’m at the forefront of nurturing the young folks. 

I’m the secretary of the NGO now, and I’ve become more involved with the operations of the organisation. I’m doing all these things I never thought I had the capability to pull off, and it’s refreshing and liberating.

My favourite project with the NGO, so far, is one I became a part of last year as the project manager. It’s called the Hanging Libraries of Nigeria.

What’s it about?

It’s a literacy project to provide libraries to schools around Nigeria. It’s still a work in progress, and to be honest, there is a lot to do. For now, the libraries we install are not very resource-intensive. We hang them in classes and stock them with books. The targets are primary schools. This is something I’m really excited about and can’t wait to see how it goes.

You are having a lot of fun, aren’t you?

I am. The NGO has become a family to me. There is this feel-good energy that comes with everything I do with them. We are doing great work, and I couldn’t be prouder.

However, my work with them has convinced me of how much we need comprehensive health insurance coverage across the country. There’s only so much that an outreach can do. We go to communities and see children who have never seen a doctor or have never been vaccinated. It’s a brewing crisis. 

I know you’re putting yourself out there, but where does your academics rank in the grand scheme of things?

Let me start with this: I wrote my first professional exams after 200 level in anatomy, biochemistry, and physiology. The grades came out and I got credits in all three, which wasn’t actually bad, but I was hoping to get at least a distinction. When that happened, I was pretty bummed and contemplated taking a step back from everything I was doing and just put all my focus on academics. I was close to going back to that ‘academic-only routine’ but I had people who set me straight. 

Now, academics are still very much there and I will ride with it to the end. However, I will shift academics to a side temporarily to do some things. I used to have all As in my results, but now I have a mix of Bs in them, but it’s fine. At the end of the day, what really matters is striking a balance and sticking with what works.

Is there a process to how you maintain this balance?

There is no formula if that’s what you mean. I wished there was because I suspect it would make my life easier. I’ve just learned to prioritise and make an extra effort to catch up on any schoolwork I miss. I just try to stay on top of things as much as I can. It’s not perfect, but it’s something. 

The most important thing is I’m doing stuff that matters to me, and I have a life outside the one everyone expects me to have and cling to. I can’t let the classroom be the only thing that decides what I am.

Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill? Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.

Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.

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This week’ subject is Anthony Azekwoh, who is a 400 level student of Covenant University. He talks about his run-ins with the school management, including a summon to appear before the Student Disciplinary Committee because of an article he wrote about the school’s abusive policies.

Tell me about how you knew it was Covenant University for you?

My dad pushed for it, and that was it. I’d heard about the school, and I wasn’t really keen on studying there. My dad also decided that chemical engineering would be a good fit for me, so here we are.

What did you make of the school when you first got there?

I found out that the reality was much worse than the stories I heard. The rules are crazy, but they’re even the least of the problems. I was horrified by how little the management cared about the effects of the school culture on the students. It didn’t take long before I understood my place here: I have no power or control. It was a tough pill to swallow. Stories of abuse and things that make students feel less like humans are prevalent here. 

Was there an experience that reinforced this belief?

A lot of them. The first one I remember happened not long after I got here. I was raised in a  catholic home, so I took my rosary with me to school. During service one day, a woman came to me and told me to take it off because “jewellery is not allowed at Covenant”. I told her it wasn’t jewellery and that I used it for prayers. The woman was adamant and insisted that I should take it off. She could have stopped there, but she went on and said something like why couldn’t my religion build a school so I could wear whatever I want. I was shocked and I knew from then that my time here was going to be long and interesting.

How did this encounter affect your perception of the school?

It was an eye-opener. It’s one thing to hear these things, it’s one thing to see it, and it’s another thing to come face-to-face with it. It’s funny how people here love to wield whatever power they have and make as many people as they can miserable. This university has always found new ways to surprise me. There was even a time when I was assaulted.

What do you mean?

An actual assault by members of staff. This happened in 2018. A white bus patrols the school during different hours of the day to ensure everyone is following the rules. I was taking a walk that evening and this bus pulled up right beside me. The doors opened to reveal three strange people — two men and one woman. They didn’t have the staff ID on, so naturally, I was wary of them. They asked for my iPad and demanded to know what I was listening to. I told them that it was not a problem, but I was going to remove my earphones so we could all hear what was playing. I was trying to do that when one of the men charged at me, grabbed me, and hit my head against the bus. The other man joined and both of them literally threw me into the bus. They took me to this building called CDS where the Dean of Student Affair was. I tried to explain what happened and how they handled it, but nobody listened to what I had to say. They basically dismissed me, asking to see any injury or mark as proof that I was indeed assaulted. By the end of the day, I filled out an offence form for “gross insubordination”.

That’s rough.

I was hurt. It was such a let-down. I wrote a report of what happened and sent it to the Dean of Student Affairs at the time but nothing came out of it. Nobody took it up. It died like that. 

I’m sorry about that.

This reminds me that I was also suspended in 2017 for four weeks. This happened right before exams. Till today, it’s still sort of a blur because I didn’t face a disciplinary committee. I found out when I didn’t find my name on the attendance list, so I couldn’t write my exams. The offence was that I missed an easter event. I didn’t write my exams that semester.

Didn’t you feel like you had to do something?

Not at first. My pent-up frustrations about everything reached a threshold and spurred me to write and publish an article online sometime last year. It came from a place of resentment — one that had been building up from the first moment I stepped inside the school premises.

What was the article about?

My thoughts about how stifling the school is. The blatant disregard of fundamental human rights. The abusive structure of the school and whatnot. The article sort of went viral and the school got wind of it.

Uh-oh.

Of course, they weren’t going to let it go. The next thing I knew was that I had a case before the Student Disciplinary Committee.

Can you walk me through how it happened?

I was in my room when someone came to fetch me. I found myself inside the white bus and the CDS building again. I didn’t ask them what was wrong this time because I knew it had to be because of the article. I was right; they read the article out to me and asked me to confirm if I wrote it. I was given an offence form to fill after, even though my offence wasn’t clear. After they released me, they sent a note to my Hall Officer, informing him that I was going to face the SDC the following day. According to them, I gave a “false identity of Covenant University to the media.” 

Wow. So they came to get you the following day?

Yes, they did. I was fucking scared. You know it’s really deep when you get to that level. I might want out of this place, but that wouldn’t be the way to go. I tried as much as I could to stay calm. Finally, it was my turn. They read the article out loud to me again. Someone on the panel spoke and was like “What did we do to you?” I was skeptical about saying anything at first, but they looked like they genuinely wanted to know, so I told them everything; about the assault, about the suspension, about their policies and everything wrong with them, about how the school is sniffing life out of the students. For some reason, they all sat there and listened to me till I was done. That was surprising. I mean, the conversation even felt natural at some point.

They, however,  asked me a question that lingered in my heart even after I left the room. They asked me if I was forced to study at the school. I lied and told them that I wasn’t forced to come to the school.

Why did you lie about that?

I thought I had too much to lose. I was tired of fighting my dad because of Covenant, and there was no way there wouldn’t be some conflict if I’d gotten expelled. So yes, I was scared about what might happen and lying about that seemed to be the safest answer. I wasn’t sure what would happen if I told them the truth. 

That’s fair.

I knew my fate on the last day of the semester. I wasn’t suspended or expelled, but they did give me a letter of caution.

Why do you think they let you go?

First, the article wasn’t targeted at anyone from the management; it was just me telling them all the things I didn’t like about the way things were done. It was a tad critical, but it was not offensive or insulting. Technically, while the content of the article was somewhat controversial, it was within the boundary of my freedom of speech. Secondly, the article went a little viral, and they knew if they suspended me, I was going to do a follow-up and there was no way to know what would happen. I feel like they thought the best way to get around it was to scare me a bit, give me a letter of caution and let the whole thing blow over.

I see. Did you get some satisfaction from writing the article?

No, not really. Nothing changed. The abuse didn’t stop. A lot of time, I wonder what I’m doing in a place that is bent on violating every part of me. They may have let me go, but I am still trapped here. 

Don’t you think you should have waited till after graduation before writing the article?

A lot of people asked the same question too. That was the safest thing to do, but sometimes, you have to think bigger than yourself. Besides, it wouldn’t be of much use to or make much sense anymore. It wouldn’t be my reality anymore. 

This reminds me of Amasa Firdaus who was denied her call to the bar because she stood her ground and refused to remove her hijab. She wasn’t called to the bar until seven months later because she made a wave. The management probably thinks you made a wave with the article. Don’t you feel like a target is now on your back?

I don’t know, but I really hope not. As far as I’m concerned, everything is all done and over with. In fact, I wrote another article, narrating the whole SDC incident and finding closure – whatever that is.

Does that mean you’re done fighting?

Yes, man. I’m done fighting these people. The life I have ahead of me is bigger than people fighting me over my tie or an ID card. This was the inspiration behind the second article; I’m done being dragged back. I’m letting it out and I’m letting it go. They won.

Whoa.

As I said, it’s bigger than me. It’s about all the students that have been broken by this university and their policies. Maybe it’s not my fight. Everyone is suffering and smiling, but maybe that’s how it’s meant to be.

How has your entire Covenant experience affected you?

Heh, it’s affected me more deeply than I’m willing to admit.  I was walking in my friend’s estate one time and a random white bus pulled up in the distance. In a split second, I’d already entered flight mode. That kind of thing.

My body and mind have internalised every bit of the weird things that go on at Covenant. I’m scared of a lot of things I shouldn’t be scared of. I’m wary of people and relationships. It’s a vicious cycle for me. I know there will be a lot of unpacking to do when I eventually graduate from this school. You can’t go through five years in this abusive structure and come out unscathed. There will be a lot of feelings and emotions to resolve, and I cannot wait to start doing that.

How do you hope to live out the remainder of your days at the university?

My mum says, “Even if the mug is cracked, it can still hold water” I’m just trying to lay low and work on myself. When you point out issues with a system, you also have to be careful and find out if you’re doing something wrong as well. At the moment, I’m giving all attention to my art and writing, and moving quietly. I don’t want the stress anymore. Everything sucks, but I need to be able to move on and I might as well start now. 

Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill? Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.

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