Examination timetables signal the beginning of a difficult couple of weeks for Nigerian students. Exams are not fun for a lot of students, so they push the dreadful thought that comes with them to the back of their minds until the release of the timetable, which is when they realise that everything just got real. This unlocks the different personalities of these students, and if you look closely, you might have noticed one or more of the following reactions.

The Grumblers

Apparently, some students think that the timetable and the accompanying exam are spawned from the pits of hell, and they don’t even attempt to hide their displeasure towards the timetable. They have issues with the exams schedule — the number of exams they would write in a day or week and would (usually) go on a rant on how the school is trying to kill them.

The Prayer warriors

Their motto is “With God, all things are possible.”  They descend into rounds of prayers the moment it’s confirmed that exams are indeed starting. As far as they’re concerned, they will be fine because “God cannot shame them.” 

The “where-did-time-go” group

The timetable release put these students into a fit and they blank out momentarily because they start to wonder why time flew so fast. They can’t figure out how it’s exam time already when the semester only started about two weeks earlier.

The protesters

You will usually find these Nigerian students in Nigeria public universities. They’re never ready to write the exams — like most people, to be honest — but they take their irritation up a notch and hope that they can stall the school calendar to buy themselves more time. If they could, they will protest about something related to welfare and blow it out of proportion to force the school’s hand to shut academic activities down for a bit. Other times — if they’re lucky — ASUU will go on a strike.

The unbothered

These ones can’t let something as fleeting like as exams prevent them from living their best lives. They take the news calmly and immediately become accept the reality that they might need to intensify their studying efforts. Then they get to work.

Take this quiz and find out which Nigerian university you share some similarities with.

Being a student in Nigeria is the ghetto. You will have to deal with a lot of things and at the top of this list are the lecturers. To be fair, some of them are alright. And since you can’t avoid the others, the best thing you can do for them is to be in their good books. This guide may help you do that.

1. Accept that you will (likely) not get a lot of As

To be in your lecturer’s good books, you need to understand that what you want doesn’t rank highly in the grand scheme of things. They own you, and such, you can only get the grades they feel like giving you — which in many cases may not be an A. Sign up on that and you wouldn’t need to worry yourself about so much.

2. Be comfortable with the manual work process

Your lecturer won’t make much effort to embrace the latest technology, and you should have no reason to do so either. Even if you know the thrills of using emails for communication purposes and Google Docs for word processing, you can’t make the mistake of suggesting them to your lecturer if you want them to think you’re serious. They have the class rep to pass information, and the last time they checked, pen and paper worked perfectly. They’ve been generous enough too because they allow you to submit typed assignments.

3. Don’t ask too many questions

Here’s the thing: you can ask questions, but keep them to a minimum— that’s why this can be somewhat tricky. Also, don’t engage them in a debate because a model student doesn’t seek to embarrass their lecturer. If you’re not satisfied with their answers, just take it in good faith.  If you’re still restless about it after the class has ended, just google the damn thing.

4. Attend every lecture

Your lecturer doesn’t expect you to have a life after your academics. The only thing you should have your eyes set on is your grades. According to your school policy, you’re (probably) expected to make 75% attendance before you qualify to write exams. However, if you want your lecturer to see how much effort you’re putting into this school thing, attend every lecture.

5. Pour down everything you’ve crammed from their notes during the exam

You’re allowed to make extra research, but when it comes to writing their exams, keep all the additional knowledge you’ve gathered to yourself. They expect to see what they gave you — any addition will not be appreciated.

Read about all the types of lecturers you will find in a Nigerian university here

The creation of WhatsApp groups is necessary in university because it’s one of the most viable means of information dissemination among students. They do the job perfectly. However, they also become home to students with different behaviour and personalities. These are some of them:

The ones who send morning devotionals

You usually wake up to long messages from these students, and all they want to do is share the word of God with you and wish you a good day. Once they do this, their job is done and you won’t hear anything from there until the following day.

The ones who send jobs and internship opportunities

They are inactive for the most part. However, the moment they decide to remind everyone of their existence, they send a barrage of scholarships and job opportunities to the group, even though most of them do little to confirm the authenticity of these opportunities. It’s the thought that counts.

The ones who never have the timetable

They couldn’t be bothered to have the lecture timetable. They pop in to ask when/where classes are holding and which project/assignment is due. After they get the information they’re looking for, they crawl back into the hole they came out from.

The ones who mute the group

They don’t care about the group or whoever is in it. In fact, they don’t get new messages notifications because they have muted the group for one year.

The ones who never run out things to say

They are the ones who keep the group active. Also, they never run out of topics to discuss or thoughts to argue. They are the reasons everyone complains about data and turn media download off.

The ones who will leave the group immediately after graduation

They won’t hesitate to let everyone know that they don’t rate them. The moment it’s confirmed that they’re done with the school, they cut ties with everyone. They leave the group and don’t look back. 

Are you studying in University of Ibadan but you can’t decide on what to do with your partner on Valentine’s Day? That doesn’t sound like fun, and we’re here to remedy it. Continue reading for our suggestions.

Take an evening stroll to Awba Dam

A simple visit to Awba dam could be all you need to have yourself a memorable Valentine’s day. Fetch yourselves, walk hand in hand, talk about stuff and connect more deeply. The gate to the dam itself is probably going to be under lock, but don’t let it deter you — you will still get a good view of the dam. To reward yourselves, you can make for Jay’s spot in Independence Hall for a much-deserved plate of one of the best noodles, chicken, and chips in the university community.

Spend quality time at Botanical Garden

Pay the cheap gate fee and make your way through the plethora of plants and trees you probably don’t know their names — but that’s where the fun it. You can attempt to read their names from the tags and laugh at your futile efforts. Also, there’s a hill at one end of the garden — you can carve your names on it if you’re feeling it. It’s Valentine’s Day, after all.

Hangout in Love Garden or Heritage Park

Well, Valentine is about celebrating love and where better to do this than the UI ‘Love Garden’. There’s not much to do here but there’s a lot to see as it’s a hub of activities. All you need to do is to find a seat and watch as everything unfold.

However, if you’d like some privacy — for whatever reasons — Heritage Park, across Queen’s Hall is your spot (you didn’t hear this from us.)

Spend the day at Agodi Gardens

The #500 (#1500 if you want swimming pool access) gate fee gets you into the garden. Now, all that is left is to explore all its offerings, which include a zoo and other fun options (you will have to pay extra for most of them, though.)

Find what works for you at Ventura Mall

Ventura mall is only some distance away from the university, and pretty much everything you will be looking for is there — from the arcade to Filmhouse cinema. A piece of advice that you didn’t ask for: we’re not saying that you’re broke oh, but you should probably avoid that lounge on the ground floor.

Grab a steaming plate of Amala at Amala Skye

Is well-made Amala and orisirisi your love language? Say no more, Amala Skye in Bodija is there for you.

Grab a couple of drinks at Spices

If it’s doing you to grab some drinks, you should go to Spices in the Abadina area. Get a table and order away.

Watch Zikoko Blind Date

We made a new show named Blind Date in which we sent a bunch of single people on an all-expense-paid date, interviewing them before and after they met. The first episode drops February 14 (Valentine’s Day) on our YouTube channel.

Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.

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Today’s episode is about Aisha*, a 300 level student of Biological Science at Ahmadu Bello University. She talks about discovering her sexuality in university, after several years of suppressing it.

When did you get into university?

I got into university in 2017, which was also the year I graduated from secondary school. I applied for Medicine and Surgery, but I got Biology.  In retrospect, I’m glad that I got Biology — I don’t think I’d have coped as a medical student.

How did medicine get into the mix in the first place? 

Ben Carson inspired me. At first, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon, but the sight of blood frightens me. I thought about Neuroscience, but it wasn’t available in any Nigerian University. My mum convinced me that Medicine and Surgery would do. I should add that Ahmadu Bello University was also my parent’s idea. My plan was to study at University of Ilorin because it was a good distance between me and home in Abuja. But my mum insisted it was too far, and as it turned out, I had no stake in the conversation. She has visited me only once since I started here, by the way. 

How did that make you feel?

I felt caged at first. I thought ABU would be like the rest of the north. 

What do you mean?

I’ve been visiting my grandmother in Kaduna since I was a kid.  She lives in a conservative community, and I don’t dress like the typical Hausa Muslim, so I usually get weird looks and stuff. It got unnerving at some point. I thought ABU would be like that too — it is in a way, but it’s not as bad as what you’d find in other communities

Got it. How excited were you about university?

My heart was still set on Medicine and Surgery even after I got in, so I was excited to make a switch. I planned on writing UTME again or getting a First Class in my first semester, so I could facilitate my switch to the Medicine and Surgery department. That didn’t happen. Lmao.

Generally, I was psyched to be in university. I was on my own for the first time in my life. Before I got into university, I didn’t know what the night sky looked like. I was always inside the house before 7 PM. I was basically grounded at home. So, university was exciting as hell at first, but the novelty started to wear off after I realised how stressful it is.

How easy was it for you to navigate the new environment?

I was confused for the better part of my first semester. It didn’t help that I was a terrible decision-maker — I still am, by the way — one minute, my parents were making the decisions for me, then the other minute, I was making decisions myself and I often made the wrong ones. Those were dark times. But things started to get more interesting when I started to learn more about myself. I don’t think I knew who I was before I got into school. 

Could you talk more about this?

It was the most random thing ever. I was with a friend when she looked at me and she was like, “You’re bi.” I laughed it off because it sounded ridiculous, but deep down, I felt uncomfortable because she had hit too close to home.

Did you ever have a feeling that you might not be heterosexual?

As a child, I didn’t know a lot about sexual orientation, but looking back now, I think I might have had an idea that I wasn’t heterosexual from the first time I had a vivid dream about this Nigerian actress. I knew that I was slightly different from what others would term as ‘normal’, but I suppressed the feelings and refused to accept them.

Why was that?

I didn’t know any better, so I didn’t think I had the option to be more than what the society had decided was normal. There was no space to be anything but heterosexual, even if I wasn’t. It was a “fake it till you know nothing else” situation.

Fair enough.

But my friend had opened a door, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, the realisation wouldn’t go away. I talked to another friend about this and she assured me that I was okay.

Now, I’d accepted that I might not be heterosexual, but I still wasn’t sure what I was. Not until recently when I watched ‘Sex Education’ and I discovered this character, Ola, who was pansexual. I was curious about that, so I googled everything I could and every piece of information I found was the perfect description of me. This was a relief because I always thought I was weird. Prior to this time, I couldn’t relate to what my bi-sexual friends were going on about when they talked about liking girls more than boys or liking boys more than girls. It was such a huge relief to find out that there’s a spectrum where I fit in.

Also, I think it took this long to realise who I am because I wasn’t like the other bi-sexual people I knew in school. I didn’t feel like I belonged with them or that we shared something in common.

What do you mean?

They were in a crew and they knew who they were way before I did. Whenever they described their sexual attraction to other people, I always felt strange. And I was really confused about that, making it easy to stick with heterosexuality until recently when I discovered that I have the option of pansexuality. 

What did discovering your sexuality mean for you?

It solved a portion of my identity crisis. I had always felt that something was wrong with me because I didn’t fit in. I discovered and accepted that I was pansexual and I found a missing piece to the puzzle.

What has been the toughest part of this discovery?

Well, I can’t tell most of the people closest to me. I was having a conversation with my mum about Jussie Smollet’s scandal and I mentioned that he was gay. You should have seen her reaction. I don’t remember what she said, but it was something along the lines of “God forbid giving birth to a bad thing.” I knew at that moment that I couldn’t tell her, even though I wanted to so badly. I went into the bathroom and cried.

I’m sorry about that.

I felt unnatural. It’s one thing for everyone to condemn queer people to hell, but it’s another thing for your own mother to react condescendingly to someone who was, in essence, like you. That put a dent in our relationship. In fact, no one in my family knows, not even most of my friends, except it comes up in a conversation.

The loneliness can get overwhelming sometimes, but there are people I’m completely honest with and I’ve found a community in them. Not everyone needs to know me, so not everyone will, and that’s fine because this is my journey to self-discovery. I’m trying out new things and removing all constraints in my way. I’m excited to see how far I can go.

What has changed for you since you had this sexual awakening?

A lot, fam. This might come off as cliche but I’ve become more comfortable in my skin and willing to try out new things. It’s liberating, really.

How has it affected your academics?

My academics fit into this journey of discovery. When everything started, it came with the realisation of the best reading methods and changed how I retained information. So yes, school became more fun.

Would you say you’ve figured it out completely?

Nah, I’ve not. As a matter of fact, I don’t think anyone has. Even the people I look up to still struggle with their sexuality, so I know there’s a lot more to learn about myself. I’ve not explored most of my attraction towards people because these streets aren’t safe. The university is pretty small and word travels fast. I’m waiting to get out into the real world to fully come into myself.

Do you think you won’t have discovered this if you didn’t go to uni, or went to another university?

I don’t know for sure. However, I think it would have come into full glare one way or the other, even if I was in another school. It might take longer for me to realise, but ultimately, there was always going to be the reveal. 

What do you expect you will find in the coming years?

I’m excited and open to more discoveries, but low-key, I’m keeping my expectations down a notch.  I’ve realised that expectations lead to disappointment. I don’t think I’m equipped to deal with such disappointment, so I’m just going along with the flow. It’s better that way.

 *The subject’s name has been changed to protect her identity.

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Are you currently studying in Nigeria or elsewhere and have a story to share about your life in school? Please take a minute to fill this form and we will reach out to you ASAP.

Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill? Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.

Are you a Unilorin student with no idea of what to do this Valentine’s day? Don’t panic. That’s why we are here for you. We have brought you correct prophecies, wonderful love tips, even food hacks. What’s a Valentine’s Day idea that we can’t provide? Settle down and hear what we have to offer.

1. You and your bae, both of you should go to ShopRite.

Buy bread to eat beans with, Ariel soap to wash your student tag, and Supreme Ice Cream that you will sit down outside and lick. Or you can just be pushing yourselves around inside the trolley. We Found Love in a Hopeless Place, Unilorin version.

2. Or Dominos and Coldstone, if ShopRite is too razz for you.

We know that you always lie to collect extra money from your parents. Why not spend it here? You’ll get the full worth of your money, and your lover will love you more.

3. You can also see a movie at Viva.

Fun tip: Sellotape bread to your partner’s body and ask her to wear a big sweater on top. Tie stew inside black nylon and keep it in your head warmer. These are places nobody checks. Enter that cinema and eat your bread and stew in peace. Movie date + dinner night. The greatest.

4. You can buy Item 7 with extra rice, extra chicken, extra plantain and coleslaw.

Then you will take it to your hostel and watch a movie on your laptop. Valentine’s Day dinnor pass that one.

5. Don’t forget the Chicken Republic at Tanke Junction.

They always have a Refuel Combo that will not tear your pocket.

6. Or Succoth Gardens and Water View.

Especially if you want to plan your future together. Just carry home cooked food and wrapper that you will spread on the grass. Spend Valentine with nature.

7. You can also visit Charcoal at Tanke Junction.

This place is quite new, and so beautiful. And they won’t charge you for ambience.

8. Because it’s Friday, you can also visit the central mosque on campus.

This is where you know if your partner is a demon sent to ruin your life.

10. Or Chapel of the Light.

The heavenly race your mates are running, is it not more important than Valentine?

Watch Zikoko’s Blind Date Premiere

We made a new show named Blind Date in which we sent a bunch of single people on an all-expense-paid date, interviewing them before and after they met. The first episode drops February 14 (Valentine’s Day) on our YouTube channel.

Valentine is coming. You have a partner, so what are you doing on that day?

I get it if you have no plans with your partner. It’s stressful to plan for anything, especially if you’re in University of Lagos where every second and every Naira count.

However, some of the special things in life require little to no planning. And we have decided to remind you of that and have compiled six things you can do with your partner this Valentine’s day without breaking the bank to have a memorable experience.

Shall we?

Have a picnic at Lagoon Front

Pack up some food and make for the lagoon front. Find a spot and revel in the cool ambience with an unobstructed view of Third Mainland Bridge in the distance. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can also go crab hunting.

See a movie or two at Ozone Cinemas, Yaba

Take a short trip out of the school gates to Yaba and Ozone Cinemas. Decide on what you want to watch, get the tickets, grab popcorns and some drinks and have yourselves some solid cinematic experience.

Get pancake at Pancake Hub, Yaba

Pancake Hub has a decent variety of meals, but they are best known for their pancake, scrambled eggs, and sausage combo, and this is exactly what you and your partner need to have a fun Valentine’s day.

Eat some ice-cream at Coldstone, Yaba

Find your way to the coolest ice cream joint in the area and satisfy your sweet tooth with their fresh collection of ice cream and sorbet.

Head over to the library and study together

The couple who studies together stays together. Show yourselves how committed you’re to each other’s growth and spend quality time studying together at the library.

Watch Zikoko’s Blind Date Premiere

We made a new show named Blind Date in which we sent a bunch of single people on an all-expense-paid date, interviewing them before and after they met. The first episode drops February 14 (Valentine’s Day) on our YouTube channel.

Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.

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The subject of this week’s Aluta and Chill is Joshua Chizoma, a 500 level student of Law at University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus. He talks about how his time in school has made him disillusioned with his faith, setting him on a quest for answers.

Tell me how you got into school.

I wrote my first UTME exam sometime in 2014. I applied to study Law at University of Ibadan, but I didn’t meet the cut-off by two marks. I was offered European Studies, which I took. However, there was an understanding between me and my parents that I would rewrite the exam the following year and go for Law again. I did that, but this time, I went for University of Nsukka, and I got it. I left Ibadan and came to Enugu, where the university’s faculty of law is. 

How big was the change for you?

It wasn’t a big change. I’m from Imo state, and I was raised in Aba, Abia state, so Enugu wasn’t strange to me. Enugu is slower than Ibadan, but things are more expensive here —  from tuition to food. One thing that irked me when I first got here was the almost non-existent water supply in the hostel. I had to buy the buckets of water I needed. This wasn’t a thing in UI. I think everyone knew I transferred from UI in my first month here because I was always complaining and comparing the two schools.

How quickly did you adapt to your new school?

Quite quickly. I’ve always been religious and I used to be in a church fellowship when I was in UI, so I found another one when I got to UNN. It gave me a community of people that always looked out for me. It was a great coping mechanism during my first months here. This could have been a happily ever after story, but I started to get disillusioned with the church after a while.

What do you mean?

I was pretty involved in the activities of the church.  I even became a part of the church leadership in the second year —  and that was when it started.

Where did that feeling come from? 

It’s hard to say. It was a culmination of several factors that built up over time. It started when I began to question a lot of things I was taught and brought up to accept. I became critical of everything I was expected to believe in, and it sort of pointed out all the inconsistencies in the bible.

I found the system which the church operated on worrisome. I wasn’t comfortable with all the politics that had plagued its operations. I thought everyone was supposed to be treated equally, but there was a disparity in the ways people were treated — it appeared that some people were being given preference, especially if they put on an act and project that they were loyal to the pastor.  Also, as much as we tried not to acknowledge it, a person’s wealth was of great importance. There was just a lot of sycophancy and sentimentalism going on that didn’t sit well with me.

In addition,  people tend to think the church is everything you need to believe in and push everything else into the background. For example; the way the whole “grace” thing is blown out of proportion is interesting, you’d be tempted to think that hard work has no place in the conversation. I remember someone telling me that it wasn’t important to achieve academic excellence or aspire to reach the summit because it wasn’t within the “realm of spirituality.”  That rubbed me off the wrong way, and I felt that there should be room in the church to talk about all these things, especially considering that the community is predominantly students. 

I suppose I’d always known these even before I came to UNN, but they came into full glare when I got here.

Did you talk to anyone about this?

No, I didn’t. That’s not something you talk about. I mean, what would it yield? We cloak a lot of things with spirituality that sometimes, we fail to have and drive actual conversations. If it’s not about your “salvation”, no one cares about it. I guess I thought nobody would understand where I was coming from, and that would make me stand out.  In retrospect, I should probably have – it could have gotten me some answers.                                                                                                                           

Did this realisation change anything for you?

It hampered my relationship with God. I would be in church and would focus instead on all the externalities, and not necessarily on worship. In my 4th year, I took a step back from the activities of the church, so I could get away from all the politics and inconsistencies. It was the best thing I could do for myself because I had started to nurse some resentment towards the church and the people in it.

Didn’t anybody ask you why you decided to withdraw from your role?

Oh, they did. I had a long conversation with my pastor. Of course, I told him my heart was not in the right place and I needed to work on myself. That did it.

What did you do after that?

At the height of my disillusionment, I started to write about my distance from everything connected to my faith, and how I hope to find a place where I would be at peace with myself. There was this one I wrote, and the reactions that trailed it were interesting because people seemed surprised by it. I get that; I was still going through the motions, so I was still going to church. Everyone was just like “I hope you find closure.” I hope so too. 

Do you think the university had a role to play in all this?

It was the platform I needed to meet people with different thought processes, and the school also taught me how to open my mind to what I wouldn’t ordinarily pay attention to. But ultimately, the institution of the church itself was the catalyst. If it wasn’t for the particular circumstances in the church, I probably wouldn’t be on this path. This didn’t happen when I was in UI.

Also, I met a couple of atheists in school, some of whom I became friends with, and the conversations I had with them opened me up to the possibility of questioning the place where my beliefs came from – if they came out of a place of conviction, or if they were foisted upon me by my parents and societal expectations, considering that I was raised in the east where Christianity is mainstream.

This is interesting, but have you found the answers you’re looking for?

No, I honestly don’t know. I guess it’s a process. And the only thing I could do for myself is to trust it. I still go to the church, and I still believe that I need a relationship with God. I just need to find these answers so that I can start to enjoy everything related to the church again. 

Do you think you’re ever going to find them?

There is no guarantee, but I really hope so. That’s the point of asking these questions; of taking a step back from everything to get some clarity. It would be extremely disappointing if I don’t find them. It would almost seem like my whole existence was built on a giant lie. I’m not sure I can live with that.

Are you currently studying in Nigeria or elsewhere and have a story to share about your life in school? Please take a minute to fill this form and we will reach out to you ASAP.

Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill? Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.