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Nigerian students worry about a lot of things, but at the top of the list are two things — money and grades. While grades are usually a beginning/end of semester affair, money or the lack of it is usually more consistent. We’re putting it to you right now that you thought about at least one of the following or some variation of them at some point when you were broke in school.
“Let me call my parents”
It’s kind of their fault you’re broke. It wasn’t enough that they brought you into this stupid world without your consent, they also assumed that you wanted an education. Your problem has to be their problem too. But then, they had just sent you something recently, so you really can’t ask them.
“I’m not going to class anymore”
The little money you have left will last longer if you don’t have to worry about going to class, especially if you live outside the school grounds. However, your lecturers have no heart and take the 75% attendance seriously. You want to write their exams, so nope, stabbing classes is not an option.
“Who owes me money?“
At that time, you want to be a creditor so bad, but then, you remember your rule — don’t borrow anyone money you can’t dash them. And since you’re not at that benevolent stage where you gift people money yet, no one owes you money, which unfortunately means that there’s no one to disturb.
“Is it bad if I drop out of school?“
Legend has it that Nigerian students fantasise about the idea of pulling a “Bill Gates” and/or “Mark Zuckerberg”, dropping out , discovering themselves, and possibly founding a billion dollar company only when they’re broke or get really bad grades in a course. So while you toyed with the idea of dropping out, you also remember that good ol’ Mark and Bill had something concrete to fall back to — something that can’t be said about you. No, you can’t drop out.
“I should have been more careful with money”
Yes, no kidding you should have. That “YOLO” lifestyle is not for everyone.
“We move“
After you’ve tried everything and still can’t find money, you realise that you’re really on your own and have to figure out something by yourself. You believe the dark period will pass, and if it doesn’t, well, hunger has not killed anybody you know yet, so we locomote.
I dreamt that I was still in secondary school. SS3, to be precise. I was seated in class freaking out because I was about to begin my Senior Waec, an exam that, in this dream, I was not prepared for. I woke up sweating buckets.
I lay awake wondering “WTF?”, I began thinking of all the insane feats of learning that the school system expects children to achieve every day. Insane feats like:
1) Forcing students to learn everything about like 15 subjects when each subject has its own dedicated teacher.
For reference, in secondary school, I did Maths, English, Integrated Science, Introductory Technology, Home Economics, Agric, CRK, Physical Health Education, Library Science, Visual Arts and a couple of others I can’t remember right now.
These people have spent decades studying a thing but expect school kids to understand said thing in a matter of hours. And then have the nerve to get angry when they don’t. Sir/Ma’am, improve your teaching skills if you want to pull shit like that and stop stressing children out.
3) Sending boarding house kids to prep class every night and actually expecting them to read.
These children are exhausted. They wake up at 5 AM, do housework, go to class and learn all day, then you send them to a two-hour prep class at night, actually expecting them to not fall asleep. LMAO
4) Remember my first point? Now, Imagine ten of those teachers giving the students homework every day.
They go to school and learn all day, just to come back home and do MORE school work. Kilode?? And trust Nigerian teachers to not hear that the children already have too much homework. They’ll just be like “welp!” and pile their own on top.
5) Junior and Senior WAEC.
School children are really expected to know three years worth of stuff in preparation for each of these exams sha. Good God.
Good day Mr. Chairman, ladies and gentlemen, accurate timekeeper and my co-debaters (we actually pronounced it codebators sef). My name is [insert your name] and I am here to support the motion which says…
1. Farmers are better than teachers.
How you feel when you hit them with your ‘solid’ points: Can a teacher teach without food? Teachers have to be taught, farmers are not taught. Books are made from trees.
2. Doctors are better than lawyers.
To think that you actually stepped up to debate this topic. But look at you forming woke now. Leemao.
3. Boys are better than girls.
There were girls who actually went up to support this motion. Talk about betraying your own kind, selling them for clout. We don’t blame you sha. You didn’t know what you were doing.
4. Military rule is better than democratic rule.
I debated this topic o. I even won for the team and the losing team almost beat me up for defeating them. Ah, look at us, a bunch of young retards.
5. Fathers are better than mothers.
“Why? Dear ladies and gentlemen, I think you will agree with me that fathers are the breadwinners. Without a father in the home, the home is like a body without the head. Such a home cannot survive.” And then the whole hall claps, because Obalende Shakespeare has dropped bars.
With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you that…
Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.
The subject of this week’s story is Eyitayo Ogunbiyi, a final year student of Computer Engineering at UNILAG. He talks about how he got into coding and the milestones he’s recorded so far.
When did you know that it was going to be UNILAG for you?
I’d always known it was going to be UNILAG, to be honest. I went to International School, Lagos in UNILAG, so it felt right. At first, I thought I was going to do something medical — like neurosurgery — and my mum liked that. But my love for maths and computers trumped everything else and I knew when the time came, I was going to go for computer science or computer engineering. I went for computer engineering.
Why did you choose computer engineering?
I wanted the “engineer” title. It was that simple.
Lmao.
You should have seen how excited I was about university. I was poring through the syllabus, struggling to control all the things I was feeling about everything I was supposed to learn.
However, when the session started, it took me only a few months before the “anyhowness” began to get to me. I would go to class and struggle to glean anything because of a range of factors I had no control over. The lecture halls were either overcrowded or the lecturer wasn’t interested.
I clocked that I had to do a lot of things by myself. At the end of my first year, I was on a first-class, but something didn’t feel right about it. It wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be. I knew I had to be more than that — I had to shift my focus to something more productive.
What did you do?
During the first year session break, I stumbled on a book called “C for Dummies.” I was bored, so I picked it up. By the time I got to the last page, I knew I wanted to learn more about coding.
You said you’ve always loved computers, why didn’t coding appeal to you before that time?
Well, I’d dabbled in HTML when I was in secondary school because I had a friend who built websites. At the time, I didn’t think it was anything I would be interested in. I was just catching my own cruise. Actually, I thought I would have to memorise all lines of code, and it wasn’t something I wanted to commit to at the time.
Ah, I see.
Even after reading the book, I still couldn’t get rid of the thought that I would have to commit all lines of code to memory — God knows where that thinking came from — Luckily, I found this Youtube channel and that changed everything for me. It became easier from that moment on.
When did you become serious with it?
I doubled my efforts in my second year, and before long, I realised that I was getting good at it and should probably consider it as a career path. That was huge because it wasn’t supposed to be more than a hobby.
How did you figure out that you were getting good at it?
Well, the idea of coding used to be overwhelming for me. Then all of a sudden, I realised that there were no insurmountable blocks for me. I was doing these things and they were working. Everything was falling in place. I thought I owed it to myself to go with the flow, or at least explore it, even though I wasn’t sure of what I would find.
What happened after?
The jobs started coming in. I actually didn’t get paid for the first job I did. A friend got me to write codes for some project his startup was working on. It was a big project, by every standard at the time. Also, It was a fantastic learning experience. At the point, I hadn’t figured out how the whole coding thing was structured, but the gig shaped my proficiency in the tools I would use later in my career. In fact, my favourite programming framework now is something I used on that project.
What did you do after that project?
Freelancing and short-term contract gigs. It was time to take on as many projects as I could. Most of the people I worked with are a couple of other startups. From there, I worked remotely for a company operating out of San Francisco.
That sounds exciting. How was it?
It was such a wild experience. The best part of it was that I worked with a string of people from different cultures — that has a way of opening your eyes to things you’ve missed but have been there all the time. I worked on a range of exciting projects. But I had to leave after 6 months.
Oh, why did you have to leave?
It was time for my IT. I couldn’t work remotely for that one, so I had to leave the company I was with to focus on my IT. I had to because the plan to graduate with a first-class hadn’t changed.
Where did you do your IT?
A tech company in Yaba. Of course, I had to take a pay cut. But the tech I worked with and the fact that I worked on-site made up for that. The company also had these ambitious ideas, so all the projects worked on were futuristic and interesting.
Everything up to this point has been fun, but my favourite experiences so far are the competitions I’ve entered.
Can you tell me about them?
In 2018, the robotics labs, University of Lagos organised this thing where they wanted people to build an autonomous navigation system. I put together a team, we stayed back during the holiday and worked on our stuff. It had to be the best because we won. I really enjoyed that. It was the first time I wrote software that didn’t run on just a computer system.
That must have been so exciting.
It was, but not as much as the second one. In March 2019, Facebook and the United Nations organised a hackathon. The objective was to tackle some of the SDGs using technology, so we used Artificial intelligence to combat human trafficking. I entered the competition and for more than a day, we were coding our ideas. It’s got to be one of the toughest things I have done, but it was so worth it. My team won that one too.
Wiun.
Wait for it. The next thing we knew, we were on a plane to Washington DC to talk about our ideas to the people at the World Bank and mentor some secondary school students from around the world.
Bruh.
After the hackathon, some recruiters at Facebook reached out to me to discuss the possibility of working with them. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the job.
Aw. That sucks.
Yeah, it was an eye-opener though. It made me realise just how much I still have to do. These big tech companies have pretty high bars, which makes sense, considering all the good work they do.
Would you still like to work for them?
Hell yeah! It doesn’t have to be Facebook, though. I just want to work with any of these big tech companies — Facebook, Apple, Google, and the lot of them. And I’m getting closer to making it happen.
What doyou mean?
Recently, some people at Quora reached out. We’re still in talks and stuff, so fingers crossed on that. It would be interesting to see where that goes.
That sounds fascinating.
Yeah, it’s funny how something you discovered out of boredom can go on to shape your life and everything you do.
Word! What are you looking forward to now?
I started school well, so my immediate concern is to finish well. For all my grievances with the system, I recognise how much school has helped me to where I am at the moment. I’m still in the first-class region, so I’m looking forward to locking that down.
How have you been able to hold on to your first class grades?
Time management. I always make time for, irrespective of how tight my schedule is. It also helps that I learn stuff relatively fast. That counts as well
Anyway, I’m proud of everything I’ve done so far, and I’m incredibly excited about all the opportunities ahead. It’s been quite a journey, and I have a feeling that I’m just getting started.
Are you currently studying in Nigeria or elsewhere and have a story to share about your life in school? Please take a minute to fill this form and we will reach out to you ASAP.
Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill?Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.
There is a lot that goes into being a student — you go to class, study, and write exams. Now, exams are not fun and can send even the most brilliant student into a frenzy, making them try impossible things in a bid to study for extra hours and get as much information as they can. Really, the fear of failure can make people do the weirdest things. If you studied in a Nigerian university or any other tertiary institution, you must have done or seen people do one of these things:
1. Setting multiple alarms
A lot of students cannot trust themselves to wake up during the night to study, so they put their hopes on the alarm features of their phones. If you check their phones, you will see a string of alarms, set 15-30 minutes apart.
2. Downing cups of coffee
Caffeine is a drug a lot of students can’t get enough off, and it looks like coffee is a good source of it. As far as most students are concerned, a cup (or more) of scalding hot coffee is everything they need to stay awake and pull an all-nighter.
3. Drinking bottles of coke
Again, caffeine is in high demand. For those who can’t stand the taste of coffee, a bottle of coke or more is what they go for.
4. Chewing gum
Apparently, you stand a better chance of staying awake for longer periods of time if you work your jaw on something. It would be weird to grind the teeth against themselves, so lots of students settle for chewing gum. Some even argue that it helps them concentrate and retain information better, but what do I know?
5.Burying both legs inside a bucket of water
This one is straight-up hilarious. Some sets of students put their faith in a bucket filled with water for studying purposes. All they have to do is to bury both feet inside the water and they can stay awake for as long as they want. Never seen it worked for anyone, but who knows?
6. Staying in mosquito-infested areas
Usually, people try to avoid these horrible creatures, but when push comes to shove for students, they risk coming down with a fever and spend their time where mosquitos have a free-rein. There’s only so much sleep you can get when mosquitos yap into your ear every second and land on your skin to get themselves a meal. It’s the absolute ghetto, but the end justifies the means, I guess.
Final year in university is the bridge between the security school provides and the uncertainties of the world after. However, you can expect to meet different personalities in any final year class. This is a list of some of them.
1. The ones who don’t care about school anymore
These people have absolutely lost all their ability to can. As far as they’re concerned, they’ve paid their dues and done everything they can for their CGPA — where it stands don’t matter now, as long as they don’t get an extra year. All they want to do is put school behind them.
2. The ones who rub it in everyone’s face
You would think that people get paid to be in their final year from the way these guys carry it on their heads like it’s some title. They don’t fail to remind everyone, especially those in lower levels that they belong to the final year brethren. God knows who even came up with that.
3. The ones who are in a race to finish their project as soon as possible
These people have always been competitive since primary school. You would think that they’re on steroids the way they take on their project and do everything they need to do ASAP. While you’re still struggling with your project proposal, they’re already out on the field gathering their data and interpreting it.
4. The ones who are only pumped for the parties
Final year is just like every other year to these people, save for all the parties and other final year events in the second semester, and that’s the only thing they look forward to.
5. The ones who are not sure what they want to do
Final year is the time for deep and sober reflection for these ones. One on hand, they’re looking forward to graduation. But on the other, they are not sure what’s going to happen after. There is a disconcerting feeling they can’t shake, even though they mask it so well.
Weird things happen to UNILAG students. Last night, they were thrown into despair when the school was plunged into a blackout that lasted for close to an hour, leaving them to the mercy of mosquitoes and the sweltering heat. Of course, the students were triggered, so they took to the streets of Twitter.
They have taken Unilag to the dark ages, no light! The annoying thing is these Marlians have already started bringing out their Speakers. I can’t sleep 😩 #UnilagBlackOut
When secondary school teachers need something to keep you busy over the weekend they dump a truckload of assignments on you. Well, we are grown now and we can finally tell them that we know what they did, and that we have no plans to forgive them.
1. Open to Chapter 6 of your Further Mathematics textbook, go to the exercise page and solve from number one to twenty. Show your workings too.
Don’t you want us to enjoy the weekend?
2. Draw and label the periodic table of elements.
Now you can see the level of evil these teachers did.
3. List twenty 10 letter words beginning with letter O, use them in sentences, and transcribe each sentence.
You, trying to calculate if Orangutan has up to ten letters or to just rough it for the teacher.
4. Write out ALL the figures of speech, define each of them, give ten examples and make sentences with all of them.
You’ll think university is better, but you’ll get there and meet new demons.
5. Define the following terms…
* in this scene, hot sweat courses down the main character’s body as he contemplates the assignment *
6. Draw and label the human skeleton.
You say?
7. Listen to AIT news by 9 PM, write down the headlines, summarise the news stories and submit on Monday.
So basically, I should re-cast a news that has been cast, yeah? There is no pity in this school life.
Final year is one of the things every Nigerian student looks forward to from the moment they realise that school wasn’t what they thought it would be. And of course, things happen.
1. You, returning to school for your final year like
We play in the big leagues now. You can’t sit with us.
2. When you find out the numbers of courses you need to register for
Isn’t final year the time you chill?
3. When the department set a deadline for project submission and you don’t even have a topic
These people don’t rate me.
4. After you’ve submitted your project topics and proposals three times and they got rejected
Is this how my village people finally get me?
5. You, when a student in a lower level comes to ask for advice
Lmao. Don’t play yourself.
6. How you look when your classmates start talking about their after school plans
Well, I’m going for NYSC. One year at a time, abeg
7. When you realise that you won’t graduate with the first class you were so sure you would get in your first year
Sorry, mum and dad.
8. You, when it’s time for final year events and dinners
Turn up geng!
9. When you find your name on the graduating list at the of the session
In your face, village people
10. When you realise that you will actually miss school
Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.
This story contains distressing information. Reader’s discretion is advised.
The subject of this week’s story is Kizmat Balogun, a 400 level student of Law at Lagos State University. She talks about her ill-fated relationships and how they’ve affected her academic life.
Tell me about how you got into school
It’s one of the easiest things I’ve done. I wrote the UTME exam in 2016 and after that, I passed the LASU screening process. It’s interesting because I didn’t apply for Law — I wanted to, but for some reason, it wasn’t available at the time of registration, so I chose Mass Communication instead. When the admission list was released, however, I found out that I’d been offered admission into the Law program. It was weird.
How did that feel?
It felt like a miracle. I couldn’t complain because I felt like I would struggle with Mass Communication. Law was always the dream.
How were your first days in school?
They were characterized by loneliness. And this was a problem because loneliness puts you in tough situations where you begin to make bad decisions. In my own case, it was letting an ex back into my life.
Tell me about that.
I started dating him in secondary school. Let’s call him A. It was always back and forth with him, so we weren’t together when I got into university. When the loneliness hit the peak, I called him and we worked our issues out. It turned out that I played myself.
What happened?
Premium tears. To be fair, everything was fine for two weeks before they started to go downhill. It was a long-distance relationship, the only way it could work was with proper communication, which he didn’t commit to. He liked to play the “I’m too busy” card, leaving me to do all the work to make sure we stayed together. He simply didn’t care. The situation with him got so bad that it started to affect my relationship with the few friends I had.
How?
I was usually irritable every time we had our fights and my friends bore the brunt of it because they were the ones I could vent my anger on. Not my proudest moment.
That doesn’t sound like fun
No, it wasn’t fun. I was in my first year and I had my grades to worry about. Thankfully, I realised how much my relationship with him could hamper my grades, especially since he was bent on bringing me down. I knew it was time to let him go again. It was a tough decision to make, but it had to be done. I managed to detach myself from him before exams started so I could have the headspace to study. Immediately after I finished writing my exams, I hit him up and told him that I wanted out.
How did he react to that?
If he was hurt, he didn’t show it. I don’t think he was, though. He said okay, ended the conversation and moved on with his life. I was livid.
That’s so sad. Moving on must have been hard.
It was one of the toughest things ever. We had a couple of mutual friends, and every single one of them reminded me of him. He was out of my life, but somehow, he was still a part of it. 2017 was wild.
When did you completely get over him?
2018, I think. I was finally free and back to living my best life. However, I couldn’t stay single for so long. That life didn’t cut it for me.
Why not?
I don’t know. I always felt like I needed someone to lean on to — someone I could call mine, basically. I guess that makes me a hopeless romantic.
We all need someone to lean on.
It was 2018 now, and I had just gotten into 200 level. My grades weren’t the best they could be, but they weren’t bad. I thought I deserved to blow off some steam. I attended a friend’s birthday party. I had no expectations and was going along with the flow. I met another guy there — let’s call him B. We danced together, and at the end of the night, he collected my number, promising to reach out.
Did you feel like there was something there?
Absolutely. I was elated. He reached out the following day and the game was on. The dude knew what he wanted and went after it. He made it clear that he wanted a relationship. He told me he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend the following week and I should take this as a heads-up.
How did that make you feel?
I respected his approach, actually. It also helped that I was attracted to him already. He seemed pretty okay, to be honest. What could go wrong? Anyway, I agreed to go out with him.
Wow
He was an upgrade from my ex. We had an amazing time together until he decided to ruin it.
What did he do?
It was more about what he wanted to do. B wanted sex to be a part of the deal, even though I didn’t. We were only two months into the relationship, for God’s sake. He became relentless, always going on about how he’d been sexually active before he met me. His persistence was a red flag — but I didn’t see it immediately. Also, he was bad for me because I was totally distracted from school — we spent so much time together and school work suffered because of it.
When did you know it was a problem?
I was at his place one day and we were making out. It happened so fast, but he pinned me against his mattress, staring down at me. I recognised what he wanted to do. I told him no and begged him to stop, but he showed no reaction. He was going to have his way with me until he realised that I was on my period. That was my saving grace. Eventually, I was able to push him off.
Wow. That was a rape attempt.
It was, and I called him out for it. I was devastated and angry. Of course, he apologised. But when I called him a rapist, he flared up. It became this huge fight.
But you broke up with him, right?
You would think so. I still don’t understand how I couldn’t go through with it. I didn’t forget what he tried to do and its consequences, but I honestly thought we could get past it.
What was the thought process behind that
I thought it wasn’t worth the trouble. If the word got out, most of the blame would be on me because I was the girl. I thought it would be easier to reel it all in and pretend that it didn’t happen. The relationship was doomed to fail from that moment. He wouldn’t stop trying to get me to have sex with him. Eventually, he told me he wanted a break. “My boyfriend” wanted to go and satisfy his sexual cravings with another girl and come back to me when he was done.
Wow.
Yup, that happened. That was the dealbreaker. I told him to go and do whatever he wanted. It was over.
I’m sorry you had to go through that
I was inconsolable. My grades had started to drop. I was fighting to hold on to my sanity too — it was a dark moment. Thankfully, my friends were there for me. Life had to go on…
I understand.
Life had to go on, but I was moving in circles. Not long after I broke up with him, A, my on and off popped up again and wanted to get back together. I’m not going to lie, I was relieved. It was the first time he came back to ask if we could get back together. I thought that meant he’d grown and was ready to make us work this time, or maybe I just couldn’t outgrow him. He was my first love, after all.
How did that work out?
It was still a long-distance relationship, but he made some effort this time. We took it as slow as we could. However, we still had some stupid fights.
Sometime in January 2019, he dropped a bomb on me.
Uh-oh.
Apparently, he was seeing someone else before we got back together. He came clean and told me that they were sleeping together. I guess he couldn’t get past the guilt. He advised me to forget about him, and oof, he was out. Again.
I’m sorry.
This shattered my heart. I hated myself and how I allowed these guys to play me that hard. Suicidal thoughts became a thing. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but it felt like I had no reason to live anymore. I decided that I needed closure, so I asked him why he had to do that.
I’m very interested in what he said.
He blamed me for everything that happened. He claimed that he was single when he met her. His entitlement jumped out because he believed we would get back together in the future. I was done with him this time. I told him to forget that he knew me.
Good for you.
I erased every physical bit of him, but I couldn’t get him out of my head. He really did a number on me. Of course, my productivity dwindled. In the beginning of my third year, I decided that I had to take control of my life again. I threw myself into schoolwork, became active in extracurricular activities. This filled some of the void.
So it’s over now?
It is. I don’t see myself getting back with him again. I’m done, really. I just want to focus on my academics now and make the best of whatever time I have here. Boys aren’t shit. It took me some time and quite a journey to get here. But I am here now, and I can only look forward to new beginnings.
What are your grades looking like now?
They’ve gotten better — thank goodness. With all the drama out of my life, I managed to get them up somehow. The results of my last exams were released recently and I haven’t gotten over how good they were. I’m getting my life back, one day at a time.
Do you think they would be better if you didn’t have boy troubles?
I believe they would be. I’ve never been a bad student. I should add that I’m not holding the boys responsible for this. However, all the events that happened when I was with them drew me back. It wasn’t fun.
If you could change anything from the last five years, what would it be?
Easy. I would push boys to the background and focus on myself. In retrospect, I think I was too young when I started dating, and that may have affected how I managed these relationships. I didn’t give them a lot of thought. Anyway, that’s all done and over with. My energy is focused on getting this Law degree now, and I’d be damned if I let anything get in the way.
Are you currently studying in Nigeria or elsewhere and have a story to share about your life in school? Please take a minute to fill this form and we will reach out to you ASAP.
Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill?Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.
