1. Honest Nigerian tailors!

The most confused human beings on the planet.

2. A permanent end to “aunty we don’t have change” in Nigerian supermarkets and shops.

Really and truly, I want my seven naira change.

3. An honest boyfriend.

That one is just luck oh!

4. A boss that doesn’t bring 3 hours worth of work for you 20 minutes to the close of day.

So rude?

5. For Nigerian aunties to stop asking “when will you marry” every time they see you.

Is it a competition?

6. For Nigerian mechanics to stop doing “it could may be” with your car when it has a problem!

“It’s like it’s fan belt oh” “Actually it’s engine. The engine has knocked”

7. For nonsense bank charges to come to an end.

Those ones will soon charge for breathing sef!

8. For Nigerian parents to stop calling their kids from another continent to help them bring the remote right beside them.

Really. Truly.

9. For people with obviously crazy dogs to stop saying “he doesn’t bite”.

Yes, we know he doesn’t bite you. It’s me I care about.