In small parts, everyone who went to a Nigerian tertiary institution has been looking forward to graduation since their second year in the school. After the exams that need to be written and passed, another thing that stands in the way of graduation is the final year project. It should be a straight line; get a supervisor and carry out some research to fulfil the partial requirements for the degree, but a lot happens before this happens.
When the supervisor list comes out and you get that lecturer everyone tries to avoid
Oh God! It’s over before it even started.
When your supervisor starts to list all the terms and conditions you have to accept before they can supervise you
Ah! All this because of research no one will read. But this is not a contract now.
And they ask you for your proposed research topics
Pahdin? Aren’t you supposed to help me with that?
When they chase you out and ask you to come back when you are serious
This is the end. I’m going to have an extra year
How you start researching all research options
My parents will kill me if they have to pay school fees for another year.
When you go back to them with a topic and they throw it out because it’s not their area of speciality
Just kill me.
When they finally give you a topic to research after a series of back and forth
What kind of cruel person are you? Why couldn’t you lead with this?
When you’re still battling with research proposal and your mates are already on literature review
Do they have better supervisors or am I just lazy, dumb, or both?
The short-lived joy when your research topic finally gets accepted
Hallelujah!!! My God lives.
When they ask you to reprint a whole chapter because they corrected something in one page
Chill out now. Printing these things out cost money.
When you finally reach chapter three and have to start begging people to fill your questionnaire
Help me now, so that someone else will help you when it’s your turn.
When you realise how much data analysis cost if you don’t want to do it yourself
Is this thing designed to test our knowledge or to take money from us?
When your supervisor finally approves all five chapters and ask you to print the final copy
It’s over, bitches. I’m out of here man.